Hi there everyone! Here's to a blessed and awesome 2012!
Thank you to:
My lovely, patient and awesome betas: PainJane and Adt216.
The Twitter ladies.
Shay Savage for reccing T&CA on her blog—I'm humbled and so very thankful.
All the readers and reviewers who are still sticking with me and this story.
Here goes nothing...
Hope you like!
Chapter Twenty-Eight
-The Prowling-
It's not easy having yourself a good time
Greasing up those bets and betters
Watching out they don't four-letter
Fuck and kiss you both at the same time
Smells like something I've forgotten
Curled up died and now it's rotten
"So please be sure to help Kate and Irina with anything they ask." I eye the sixteen people huddled around the boardroom table, looking various shades of annoyed and bored as they mumble their reluctant agreement. I guess I can't blame them. Having to work the hours that we do and then put in extra effort to assist the event coordinators setting up for the book launch tonight is frustrating to say the least. It's work, and it's expected. As long as Aro signs our pay cheques, we have no say in the matter.
My eye catches Edward's warm gaze, nd I struggle to fight the urge to wink at him encouragingly. Separating work from pleasure has been particularly difficult this week. After my belated declaration on Sunday night, the urgency to be in constant physical contact with him has been debilitating to say the least. My work has suffered for it. I could say that my concentration goes out the window the moment Edward walks through he door, but that would be a lie, seeing as I have no problem concentrating on the way his muscles rip and clench under his work shirts. Or the way his hair points at me accusingly for being dishevelled by my hands in stolen moments behind closed doors. Or the way his mouth twists up at the corners, reminding me of the dirty words spoken by those lips in our moments of physical abandon. Nope, my concentration is just fine, but maybe, slightly misguided.
"You're all expected to be here at six," I continue, forcing my gaze away from his. Without looking, I can tell he's smirking at my efforts to remain focused. If we were alone, I would kiss that smirk off his face and turn his cockiness into moaning need. "The event starts at seven and we'll need you on your best, professional, behaviour." I emphasize the word by giving James a knowing look, which causes him to shrink back in his chair. We all know how rowdy he can get once he has a drink or two in his ass. The last Christmas party was like a James Witherdale Broadway Show, with him singing and dancing vivaciously to music that was not playing over the sound system, mind you.
My eyes move back to Edward's when I hear him snort-laugh along with most of his colleagues. I can't fight the small smile tugging at my lips as I look at the beautiful man-boy silently poking fun at a bashful James. Edward reaches over and fist bumps James, who now appears to be smiling and going along with the teasing. A movement to my right catches my attention, and I'm met with Jessica's curious eyes. She's looking at me, then at Edward and then back at me. I can only imagine what she must be thinking. Behaviour like this would be something I would have reprimanded in the past. I had no patience for inside jokes or heckling when it came to business and especially not when I'm leading a meeting. The fact that I'm not silencing Edward and his friends at this moment must seem suspicious, which immediately puts me on edge.
I pull my gaze away from Jessica's smug smile and clear my throat in hopes that it will calm the little group of men, still laughing and going at it, but even to my ears it sounds nervous instead of assertive.
"Gentleman," I chastise gruffly when they continue without noticing me. My voice rings through the room and immediately silences them. Edward turns his eyes to mine in surprise, but I drop my gaze to the binder in my hands and try to avoid the tightening in my chest.
"Mr. Witherdale," I begin, keeping my voice level and my eyes fixed on the binder, "since you and Mr. Cullen seem so enthusiastic, why don't you two head over to Irina and Kate in the conference room and ask if there's anything they need help with." I don't dare to look up at Edward in that moment as I page through the documents in my hand blindly. I hate doing this to him, knowing how hard he's been working the last couple of weeks, but I need to get Jessica off our scent.
"Yes, Miss Swan," James answers glumly.
"See you all at six." I end the meeting and finally summon the courage to raise my head.
Edward is definitely upset. His posture is stiff as he rises from his seat and immediately stumps his way towards me. I panic, not because I'm afraid of his anger—I know he'll understand once I get a chance to explain. I panic because Jessica is still seated at the table, arms folded over her chest, a knowing smile firmly planted in place.
Before Edward can approach me, I turn my body towards Jessica and away from his.
"Jessica, can I talk to you for a second?" I ask with a tight smile, seeing Edward come to a dead stop in my periphery. I chance a quick glance at him and notice the anger on his face morph into confusion. "In my office."
"Of course, Bella," she replies too sweetly and stands up from her chair. "I would like nothing more than to have a quick word with you."
I turn without acknowledging the fact that Edward is still standing behind me and follow Jessica towards my office wordlessly.
Once we're inside, I close the door behind us and walk over to my desk, waving a hand at one of the chairs for Jessica to sit in.
I take a seat behind my desk and watch her do the same, that smug grin still firmly planted on her face.
"Say your piece," I break the silence, catching her slightly off guard. I don't want to beat around the bush with this. I need to find out what she thinks she knows and then decide how to deal with it from there.
"You're the one that asked to speak to me," she feigns ignorance.
I give her a measured smile and arch an eyebrow. I've played this game before. Okay—not this game exactly. I've never fraternized with any of my staff members, so I'm kind off out of my depth, but I know enough of manipulation—being a master at it myself—to know not to show any weakness in the face of confrontation.
"Don't play coy, Jessica." I sigh heavily.
She arches an eyebrow right back at me and graces me with a hollow laugh. "You're fucking him."
"Am I now?" I'm taken aback by her on-point accusation, immediately fighting to keep the shock from my voice. "And you have proof of this?"
"Oh come now, Bella." Jessica shakes her head at me, the gleam in her eyes intensifying. "You know that's not how office gossip works. A rumour does not need an ounce of proof to spread."
I frown and drop my gaze from hers. I hate that she's right. What I hate even more is that she has the power to start this rumour, one that would tarnish my reputation at Breaking Dawn and probably soil Edward's chance at gaining respect as a writer amongst his peers. Fucking the boss generally translates to sleeping your way to the top. Any accolade or recognition Edward might get for his book would merely be attributed to that.
"Is that what you're planning, then?" I ask carefully, refusing to break down and beg for her silence. I still have my pride. "To spread lies?"
"We both know it's the truth. And, I have to get what's mine back, now don't I?" she asks coolly.
"What do you mean?" I frown in confusion.
"You took that book from me, Bella," she chuckles humorously. "I'm taking it back."
Her words momentarily stun me.
"Listen, Jessica," I start slowly, my heart pounding in my ears. "I'm sorry about how that happened, but you have to understand—"
"It's too late for apologies, Bella," she interrupts me and swiftly stands, causing my stomach to turn and twist with dread. "Besides, you're only apologizing because you've been caught with your hand in the cookie jar." She shakes her head in disapproval and then turns to walk away.
"What do you want?" I call after her desperately, rising from my chair and gripping onto my desk to steady my shaking legs. "You can have his book, but please don't start this rumour. Edward doesn't deserve this, please." Okay, so I guess I'm not above begging. Pride be damned, I cannot let her ruin his future as a writer before it's even started.
Jessica freezes mid-step and turns around with a look of total surprise on her face. We are frozen in time for several long moments as my eyes beg with her in desperation, and hers roam over my face in astonishment.
"Holy shit," she breathes, finally turning around to fully face me. Her steps are slow and measured as she makes her way towards me, only stopping once she reaches the chair she occupied earlier. "You have feelings for him?"
I swallow thickly and feel my sweaty hands relax their grip on my desk minutely. I shrug, because if anyone is going to hear me admit it, it will be Edward first.
"Does he know this?" Her face transforms into one of curious wonder.
I shrug again. Seriously, he must be deaf, blind and dumb not to know.
"Does he care about you?" she asks slowly, eyeing my expression closely.
Once again, I would have to be deaf, blind and dumb not to know, too. So, I shrug again.
"Well damn..." She sighs heavily, dropping her chin to her chest before laughing softly. "That takes all the fun out of it."
I stare at her dumbfounded. What the hell?
"What does that mean?" My voice sounds small and vulnerable even to my own ears. Oh, how that silly boy has ruined me.
"Bella, you're a bitch," she says with a laugh. My instant reaction is to retaliate.
"Takes one to know one," I gripe. Yeah, old habits die hard.
"Touché." She nods thoughtfully. "Edward on the other hand, is not."
I frown at her in confusion. Isn't the term bitch reserved for the female species of a prickly variety?
She rolls her eyes at me. "What I mean, is Edward is a good guy."
My brow furrows, but I nod my agreement. I'm struggling to decipher where she's going with this, but I'm thankful that she's staying to talk instead of walking out to put her evil plan in motion.
"I know I'm perceived as the slutty, desperate girl with the huge, fake tits, Bella." Jessica's candour shocks me, but I don't contradict her. It's the truth, after all.
"Not a girl, exactly," I point out, which causes her to laugh, and intensifies my shock. Who is this woman?
"Fair enough." She smiles and sighs heavily, her expression turning serious. "Point is, Edward is the only man, no, scratch that..." She waves a hand dismissively. "Person" she enunciates, "in this office that doesn't treat me like that."
I once again nod silently. I remember all too well how he chastised me all those weeks ago about my assumptions of Jessica. Back then, it pissed me off to no end.
"I have no problem hurting you, Bella," Jessica continues sincerely. "You deserve it. But I don't want to hurt him."
It feels like I'm having an outer body experience. In what world is Jessica Stanley a caring, level-headed woman? Has she always been like this, and I've just been too narrow-minded and judgmental to notice?
I clear my throat in an attempt to clear my head.
"So," I begin softly, "you're not going through with it?"
"No, I'm not." She nods her head decisively. "I would only have started the rumour if I thought you were abusing your position and using that boy. If, however, the feelings you have for Edward are reciprocated as you claim, then I won't do anything to hurt that. Call me a hopeless romantic, if you will."
We're silent, the noise of the office outside the only sound permeating our bubble.
"I'm sorry, Jessica," I finally whisper. Her eyes bulge in surprise at my apology, causing my lips to twitch. "I'm sorry about Edward's book and the way I dealt with that situation."
She blinks a couple of times, and then silently shrugs. "I'm not doing this for you, Bella."
"I know." I nod as she turns to make her way towards my office door.
"I was wrong for being one of those people that thought you were a slutty, desperate woman with huge, fake tits," I talk to her retreating back.
Jessica throws her head back and laughs boisterously, causing me to jump at the unexpected sound.
"No, you weren't," she says with a coy smile as her hand reaches for the doorknob. "Edward is the wrong one." She grins as my mouth pops open. "I'm all of those things." She winks and then she's gone.
My breath leaves my body with a gush as my knees finally give out. I sidle back into my chair, trying to control my breathing, close my still gaping mouth and make sense of anything that just happened.
"What the hell is going on?" I don't even have the energy to jump in surprise as Edward storms into my office, all wide eyed and laboured breathing.
My lips spread into a huge grin, catching Edward off guard as he fidgets and paces in front of my desk. I can tell it's killing him to keep a respectable distance.
"Jessica is a desperate slut with huge fake tits." I'm grinning from ear to ear at this point.
Edward stops his stalking and faces me with his hands planted on his hips.
"Babe, that's rude."
His response causes me to throw my head back in laughter. I cover my mouth with my hand as staff members outside raise their heads over their cubicle partitions curiously.
"Rude," I say after a moment, once my laughter dies down, "but true."
Xoxo
Oh I could throw you in the lake
Or feed you poisoned birthday cake
I won't deny I'm gonna miss you when you're gone
Oh I could bury you alive
But you might crawl out with a knife
And kill me when I'm sleeping
That's why...
Ben and I arrive at the launch party at exactly seven o'clock. I'm nothing if not punctual. I survey the conference room that's been elegantly transformed into a venue suitable to Aro's standards. Posters of the cover of the book are blown up and tastefully displayed throughout the room. Candlelight and soft background music make it feel cosy and inviting. I'm sure the author would be pleased.
My eyes immediately drift over the faces in the room. The who's who of the publishing world is here tonight, but that's not who I'm looking for. Ben steers me through the crowd as I anxiously search out the one face that will make this evening even remotely entertaining. I wanted to be here at six with the rest of the staff to help out with the final arrangements, but seeing as Ben offered to pick me up, I couldn't exactly drag him here an hour early as he is technically a guest. Edward told me I wanted to be here early because I'm a control freak. I had to admit that he's right—which he almost always is. I hate that about him—in a very I-kind-of-love-that-about-him kind of way. Another thing I hated was being picked up from my apartment by the wrong man. Coming to the stupid launch party with Ben instead of Edward feels like the worst kind of torture—which is completely rude and unfair, seeing as Ben really is a very nice, harmless guy.
I nod and smile in greeting to all the familiar faces, shaking hands where they are offered, asking about children and families where it's required—all this while still searching out his face.
And then I see him, lazily leaning against the make shift bar, sipping a Heineken—of course—in a tux. My breath catches as I take in his lean form, covered in perfectly tailored black, making him look even taller and sexier than he already is. It's a sin to be as beautiful as Edward, and believe me when I tell you that he makes me want to stray from the righteous path...over and over and over again. It would seem like Edward was in fact wrong. I didn't want to come here early because I'm a control freak. I wanted to come here early so I could be with him, even just for a moment.
His attention slowly drifts from Eric, who seems to be regaling Edward in a conversation that needs a lot of wild hand gestures, to me. Our eyes lock, and I feel my heart flutter. His mouth pulls into a secret smirk as his heated gaze lazily sweeps over my entire body. He swallows thickly during his quest, ensuring me that he likes what he sees. I feel a soft pressure on my elbow as Ben attempts to steer me further through the crowd. The movement causes Edward's eyes to focus on the alien grip on my arm, his mouth turning down only marginally as he once again focuses on me. I try to give him a reassuring smile, but it instantly drifts into a grimace when a very tall, very beautiful blond places her hand on Edward's bicep and leans in to whisper something in his ear. His eyes, however, remains focused on mine as he nods stiffly at whatever Kate, the stunning event-planning whore, is saying to him. I want to kick my own butt for making Edward spend more time with her than necessary. That was no one else's doing but my ownd...and Jessica's. I want to be angry at her for that, but I can't, because she's actually kind of awesome, and I owe her—which sucks.
From here on out, it's almost like watching a tennis match. Every time Ben does something that would cause Edward to give me a foul look, Kate does almost the exact same thing to him, only to have me return his look of disdain. Ben touches my back; Kate runs her hand over his arm. Ben leans in to whisper in my ear; Kate shifts closer into Edward's side. It would be really comical to see both our faces morph from apologetic to furious in five second intervals, if I wasn't so damn upset about it, that is.
Ben is wrapped up in conversation with another author Breaking Dawn has published when I look over to find Edward alone at the bar—fucking finally. I excuse myself politely and bolt over to where he's standing with only a small margin of elegance.
I stop beside him at the bar, facing forward, my shoulder touching his arm only slightly. I can tell he knows it's me, but he too has decided not to turn and acknowledge my presence.
"Having fun?" I ask sweetly, keeping my eyes dead set on the movements of the barman.
"Quite, and you?" he deadpans, causing my stomach to flip.
"A blast," I reply dryly.
"Ben seems like a swell guy." His sarcasm isn't lost on me.
"You and Kate have become quite chummy," I say as I wave the barman over.
"Cosmopolitan for the lady," Edward interjects once the barman walks over.
"You remember," I remark in surprise, thinking back on our first dinner with my parents at The Paragon.
"You're important to me, so yes, I remember," he replies softly, causing my cheeks to flush and my breath to catch. I'm always amazed at how he can say the most profound things as if it's as simple as reading a takeout menu.
"I'm sorry about the whole thing with Ben." My voice is an almost whisper, conveying my true regret over the position we're in. "You should know that I'm not trying to encourage him."
Edward finally turns to face me once the barman brings over my pretty drink. I remain facing forward, cautious of how our conversation will look to any surrounding spectators, but I turn my gaze towards him and offer him an apologetic smile.
"I know, sugar." His voice is so soft and so low I feel it all the way in the hollow of my bones. "It's just hard to look at."
I nod, taking a small sip from my glass and enjoying the sweet stickiness as it travels down my throat.
"So, Kate..." I let my semi-question trail off suggestively.
"Is interested." Edward nods. His words make my blood chill and not even the playfulness in his voice can settle the building jealousy.
"Cocky, aren't we?" I retort sourly, fidgeting with the glass I'm currently clenching in a death grip between my fingers. A death grip I would readily exercise on Kate's long, elegant neck.
"Comes with the face." He smirks and then takes a pull from his beer, studiously watching me over the brim of his glass. His eyes are alight with mirth, which causes me to want to kiss him breathless or slap him against the head repeatedly.
Edward must notice that my mood has shifted, because he immediately lowers his beer and leans into me. My eyes jut around the room, ensuring that no one is witness to our familiarity.
"Hey." He draws my attention back to his with a soft command. My eyes meet his, and I can see the regret in them. "I said she was interested. Not that I am."
He's searching for something in my eyes, as I slowly nod my head, taking my lower lip between my teeth nervously.
"Could you do me a favour and convey that to her?" I ask softly, hating how unsure I sound.
Edward frowns, and I can tell he's dying to reach out and touch me.
"Can you do the same for me?" His question is a challenge, although I'm not sure it was meant to be one.
"Yes," I answer just above a whisper, lowering my eyes to his mouth.
"Don't do that," he reprimands me darkly. My eyes lift back to his and find them dark and filled with lust. My heartbeat picks up a notch. My girly bits tingle. My breathing accelerates. I know that look.
"Do what?" I ask innocently, licking my lips suggestively.
"Don't look at me like that when you know I can't do anything about it now," he warns, and I realize for the first time that our bodies have gravitated towards each other, leaving nothing but a breath between us.
"If you two are planning on keeping whatever you're doing a secret, you'd better step away from each other." Jessica's slightly tipsy voice effectively breaks the bubble around us, causing us both to take a startled step back. "Jeez." She sighs in annoyance.
I can't help the giggle escaping my lips when I find her leaning against the bar behind me, her breasts practically tumbling out of her too tight cocktail dress.
"Looking elegant as always, Miss Stanley." I raise my glass to her in a salute.
"You know me." She shrugs and attempts to raise her glass, but spills most of the contents on her hand. Yip, Jessica has most certainly had her fill of the all-you-can-drink alcohol buffet.
"Shit," she breathes, trying to suck most of the spillage off with her mouth.
"Here you go, Jessica." Edward reaches over me to offer her a handkerchief.
"Thanks, Eddie." She gives him a watery smile before staining the crisp white cloth with the remnants of her red wine.
"Your date is on his way over," Edward whispers in my ear. And true enough, Ben does seem to be making his way through the crowd towards us.
"Let me introduce you," I offer quickly, wanting to soothe Edward's fears about Ben's intentions, hoping he'll do the same and soothe mine.
"That's okay. I'll catch up with him later," he declines, but takes a step towards me instead of back. I watch as he leans into me and places his mouth against my ear, causing my skin to pebble. "Has your date told you that you look absolutely fucking beautiful tonight?"
"Not in so many words," I choke, fighting the urge to rub my body against his.
"Tsk." I feel him shaking his head beside me, his hair tickling my cheek. "I'll have to remedy that later." My knees almost buckle when I feel his tongue lightly touch the shell of my ear, and are then replaced by the sudden coolness of air hitting the wetness he left behind.
"There you are, Bella." Ben smiles as he stops in front of me. I try to smile back and quickly raise my glass to my lips, trying to dampen my dry throat. "I see you've already found the bar," he teases.
"Amongst other things," Jessica snorts beside me.
Ben gives her an uncertain smile, frowning in confusion.
I roll my eyes and raise my hand in a gesture that she's had too much to drink. His smile grows brighter as he nods in understanding.
I sigh a breath of relief, allowing my eyes to search the reason for my discomfort. Standing almost in the exact opposite side of the room, I find Edward smirking at me devilishly, raising his glass to mine with a wink.
I truly hate him in a very I-kind-of-love-him kind of way.
xoxo
I've got to hand it to you
You've played by all the same rules
It takes the truth to fool me
And now you've made me angry
The night progressed uneventfully. There were speeches made by the dozen—longwinded speeches made by people who are entirely too self-absorbed for their own good.
I remain at a respectful distance from Ben, having made it quite clear earlier that I'm seeing someone, without being too obvious and hurting his feelings. He took it in stride and told me the guy is a lucky man. I thanked him and smiled, and ever since, the small touches and gestures have trickled down to none.
Kate, on the other hand, was still following Edward around, whether he was talking to Eric and James or getting a drink from the bar. I did, however, notice that whenever she moved to touch him, he would politely remove her hand or slightly step out of her reach. Whether he told her he's unavailable or not, I'm not sure, but regardless, she wasn't taking the hint.
I tried to remain calm. Deep down I know Edward would never do anything to disrespect our relationship, if you could call it that. Why, actually yes, you could. Everything we've been doing screams relationship. I don't need him to say it out loud for me to know that's what this is. But, with every attempted touch, with every fake laugh or smile delivered by her I could feel the doubt set in. The fear that he might realize he could do far better than me.
So, I tried to keep my attention focused on the various conversations I was pulled into, or the boastful bragging of the author. I nodded indulgently and forced my eyes from straying—from seeking him out.
I did however falter when the author took the podium and started rambling about a professor of his in college that used to tell him he would be the next Edison. Both Edward and I are in agreement that the book completely and utterly fails as a literary masterpiece. I've questioned Aro's devotion to the lame piece of work on numerous occasions, only to be met with an indifferent shrug and ramblings about being family friends for years. When the author proceeded to gush about his book, which in his not-so-humble opinion, is the next great American novel, my eyes immediately drifted to where Edward was standing. His eyes snapped to mine, filled with pent up laughter. I tried to curb the grin spreading my lips, but I failed, as did Edward. He rolled his eyes and gave me a wink. My heart clenched at the private gesture, and, once again, I was reminded of how much I miss his proximity—his heat and comfort. I wanted to go home and be held by him and feel the reassurance that not only did I ask him to stay, but that he wanted to.
I'm currently standing in a circle of my peers—Aro, Ben, Marcus and a very drunk Jessica. Since our discussion this afternoon, I find it hard to be irritated by Jessica's lack of professionalism. So, every time she takes an unsteady step, I find myself reaching out to steady her. Aro does not hide his surprise, knowing exactly how volatile our relationship has been in the past.
"You look beautiful tonight, Bella," Aro says from across me once his eyes have lifted from my hand, which is securely planted on Jessica's elbow.
"Thank you, Aro." I smile gently and increase my grip on the stumbling bimbo beside me.
"There's something different about you, though," he murmurs thoughtfully.
"Bella's seeing someone," Ben offers in explanation. Oh shit.
"Really?" Aro asks curiously. "And where might the lucky gentleman be tonight?"
"Oh, umm..." I stutter uncomfortably. "He's working."
"Not a lie." Jessica slurs beside me.
"You've met him?" Aro asks Jessica with surprise that matches mine. I dig my thumb into the soft flesh of Jessica's arm in warning.
"I know him well," she replies.
"Is it someone we know then?" Aro raises a questioning eyebrow at me. Luckily, my not so coherent wingman takes a stumble to the right, almost crashing into Marcus, if it wasn't for my stealthy reactions.
"Excuse me, gentleman." I smile apologetically and start steering Jessica away from our audience. "I think I need to call her a cab."
They all nod sympathetically as I turn and pull her after me.
"You really don't hold your liquor well, Jessica," I reprimand her as we weave our way through the crowd.
"Sorry," she moans softly, trying to keep up.
As we step into the corridor of our office building, my head turns, looking for the best spot to deposit her in order to phone a cab.
"I need to use the ladies room." She stumbles and slurs, almost causing me to lose my footing.
"Fine," I mumble and pull her in that direction. Opening the bathroom door and keeping Jessica on her feet poses yet another problem. She finally stumbles past me and into a stall, shutting the door behind her with a flourish, before filling the room with awful retching noises.
"I'll wait for you outside." I cringe and step back into the corridor, falling with my back against the wall with a huff.
My eye catches movement to my left, and before I know it, I'm walking towards it.
I freeze in my spot when I see Edward standing with Kate, her hands wrapped around his waist. I can see he's shaking his head as he speaks, his hands reaching behind him to pry her arms off him. And then it happens, she reaches up and kisses him. The world topples on is axis as I take in the scene before me, as if everything miraculously turns into slow motion. My ears feel as if I'm under water as blood floods to my face. Before I can think better of it, I gasp, and immediately raise my hand to my mouth as both of their heads turn in the direction of the sound.
The last things I see before turning and running are Edward's shocked eyes, which in that moment, reminded me so much of Jacob's.
Xoxo
My hear feels dead inside
It's cold and hard and petrified
Lock the doors and close the blinds
We're going for a ride
My hands shake as I slam my office door behind me, stumbling over to the desk without turning on the lights. I move to sit down in my chair, but immediately change direction until I'm facing the Seattle skyline from my window.
Rationally, I know what I saw was a woman forcing herself on a man. Rationally, I know Edward didn't initiate the kiss. Rationally, I know that if we weren't keeping our relationship a secret, I would have walked over to them, slapped Kate's pretty little face and demanded an explanation from Edward. Rationality would be really fucking nice right now. But, when you see something so heart-wrenchingly appalling, a repeat performance you've worked so hard to protect yourself from, irrationality seems to be the dominant emotion.
Nothing hurts as much as the feeling of betrayal. Ask me, I know.
My back stiffens as my office door softly opens, and then closes with a click. I hear the lock turn and then the sound of my blinds being closed.
I know it's Edward without even looking. I knew he would follow me. I wanted him to. I needed him to.
"Bella." My name echoes from his lips in the quiet surrounding us. What I expected to hear was soft remorse. What I expected to hear was crippling guilt. That is, however, not what I'm hearing at all. What I'm hearing is confidence—my name said in a demand.
I turn to face him, surprised at his arrogance and curious to see his expression. He looks calm, calculated and not nearly as affected by all this as I am. I almost gape, but I don't give him the satisfaction.
"Please sit down." He indicates to my chair.
"No." I shake my head, squaring my shoulders in defiance.
"Bella," he warns slowly, causing my skin to tingle. "Sit. Down."
This time I do gape, but for some reason, I also obey. My legs carry my numb body to my chair, and I lower myself in it, keeping my emotionless gaze on his.
I can see his shoulders relax infinitesimally at the small victory. I want to sneer at him, but I don't. I don't have the energy. I can feel my mind shut down. I can feel my walls rising in defence. I've been here before—my body recognizes this.
"You know what you saw," he speaks slowly, taking a measured step in my direction. I stare at him blankly, denying his words.
"You know that you saw Kate coming on to me," he continues, unfazed by my lack of reaction. I watch him wearily as he approaches like a predator, prowling towards his prey.
"You know it was one-sided." He takes another step closer.
"You know I didn't reciprocate."
My mind slowly locks every door Edward has worked so hard to force open. I blink, surprised at how easy it is to just return to not feeling anything—easy and comforting, like an old blanket.
"What were you doing with her at the elevator?" My voice is barren of emotion, sounding hollow and lifeless in the silence around us.
"She asked me to walk her to her car," he explains calmly. "I offered to walk her to the elevator instead." Another step in my direction. Only about four more before I'm in real danger.
"Why?" The question leaves my lips in a whisper.
"Because my mother raised me to be a gentleman," he answers without pause.
I shake my head at him and feel my body stiffen as he takes another tentative step. "No, I mean why not to her car? You would have had more privacy there."
A humorous laugh leaves his lips, causing my lifeless heart to skip a beat. "That's exactly why I chose the elevator."
"She's been hanging on you all night," I accuse flatly, unwilling to accept the sincerity in his voice. "You should have known she would try something."
"I should have." His agreement leaves me shocked, the steadily closing doors of my unconscious slightly creaking open. "But I didn't."
"Didn't expect that she would do that, or didn't expect that you would be caught?" I challenge dryly, gripping the armrests of my chair as he once again closes the distance.
"Both." His answer shatters me, leaving my mouth dry and my heart racing. I wish he wasn't so beautiful. It would make hating him right now so much easier.
He takes the final step towards me, his knees almost brushing against mine. I can feel my muscles coil in their desperate need to flee, but his eyes have me anchored to the chair, unable to bat an eyelash under their intensity.
"I wish you didn't have to see that," he whispers. I almost crumble at the sudden vulnerability in his voice.
My eyes follow him as he lowers himself to his knees in front of me, keeping my gaze locked on his.
We stare at each other in silence for long moments, lost in confusion and hurt.
"I'm not Jacob, Bella." His words are spoken so softly and with such conviction that I feel my walls slowly tumble down around me. I so desperately want to believe him.
I jump slightly when his hands touch my exposed knees, pulling them apart until his torso is nestled between them. The heat from his skin radiates through his body and electrifies mine. The words from his lips leave me broken and open.
"I would never betray you like that." His hands emphasize his statement as they slowly trail up my thighs, pushing the soft material of my white cocktail dress up and up in their ascent.
I gasp as he reaches behind my knees and pulls me lower on the chair, until my butt is at its very edge. His hands move back to my thighs and push my dress until it's bunched around my hips, leaving me exposed to him.
His thumbs trail confident circles on my hipbones, right above the waistband of my panties.
"I only want you," he states forcefully, pleading with his eyes for me to believe him.
His hands pull at the sides of my underwear, pulling them over my ass, down my legs and from my feet. Cold air hits the heated skin of my sex and I cower away from the realization that I'm already wet for him.
I watch with rapt fascination as his hands slide over my calves, under my knees and then pull them apart as wide as they'll go.
"Hold on baby," he instructs lowly, placing his hands on mine and giving them a gentle squeeze. "We're going for a ride."
I lick my lips unconsciously as he sits back on his haunches and runs his hands over the insides of my thighs. The fingers of his left hand move to the lips of my pussy, before pulling them apart. My breath hitches at the sudden intrusion, but before I can attempt to close my legs the index finger of his right hand runs a path all the way from the top of my mound, over my aching clit until it stops at my opening. My eyes are transfixed on his hand as his finger slowly slips inside. I bite the inside of my cheek as the aching need of his intrusion builds in my chest.
"Do you like that?" he asks seductively as his finger massages my walls.
"Yesss," I hiss, throwing my head back.
"Then you're going to love this," he murmurs before I'm jolted by the feel of his tongue sweeping over my most sensitive flesh.
"Fuck, Edward," I gasp, quickly raising my head to look down at his head between my thighs.
He responds by circling his tongue over my clit slowly as his finger pumps in and out of me. My thighs tremble as my body ripples at the sensations his mouth is causing.
His lips close over me, suckling at my flesh as his tongue flicks over my clit in quick succession. I'm practically hyperventilating as my fingers dig into the leather armrests of my chair, my legs straining to stretch further apart than my muscles will allow. I've never wanted to be more exposed, even more split open than I am right now.
He adds another finger to his onslaught, crippling my ability to save face as his lower teeth scrapes against me.
"Shit, shit, shit," I chant as my abdomen convulses—greedily seeking the release Edward's mouth and fingers are steering me to.
My whole body breaks into an embarrassing sweat. My breathing stutters and gurgles in my throat. My heart pounds vehemently against my chest. My hips rise desperately against his face.
I am Eve, and Edward...he has the tongue of a serpent.
As if he doesn't own me... As if he needs more weapons in his arsenal... Edward decides to flatten his tongue against my clit, rubbing it fully upwards and then downwards and then up again until all I'm aware of is the sharpening of my senses, focused only on the spot inside he touches, the spot outside he rubs.
I ride his face, unashamed of my body's need to succumb to him. I'm so close, and I tell him this in a strangled cry.
He intensifies his onslaught, making the circles smaller, making his movements tighter, until I coil and everything explodes.
"Mah—I'm—Ah—" My hips raise from the chair, suspended in the air as I suspend in euphoria, my lips parted in silent scream. Lights swirl and illuminate behind my eyelids as my nerves rock into surrender. My fingers turn numb as I press them into the chair.
My orgasm crests and my chest burns from the lack of oxygen. I drop my hips, unable to keep them suspended on my shaking legs, effectively robbing them from Edward's mouth. I gasp for air, my chest heaving in its attempt to catch up to my racing heart.
Edward's fingers rub softly and slowly inside me, bringing me down from my high, before gently pulling out.
I open my eyes and watch him silently as he lowers his head to give my pussy a final kiss before pulling back. He raises his eyes to mine as his hands slip to my aching thighs and gently tub them down, soothing the straining muscles.
The emotions playing on his face behind the jade of his irises are so intense that I feel my skin tingle at the realization that he is in fact mine. I feel the remnants of all the years of accumulated fears and insecurities slowly chip away beneath his gaze.
A tear slips from the corner of my eye and slowly travels down my cheek. He watches its descent silently before raising his hand to my face and softly wiping it away.
"No more tears, baby," he whispers softly, before pushing forward and laying his lips on mine. "These lips were meant to smile." His mouth moves against mine as he speaks, and then his tongue solidifies his words as it slips into my mouth.
I can taste myself on him, and although it should be disgusting, it only moves me to realize that I am irrevocably his.
I allow myself to feel him, opening my mouth to his gentle probing.
I allow myself to touch him, raising my hands to twist in his hair.
I allow myself to believe him, and everything falls away like a soldier shedding himself of his armour.
Edward is not Jacob. Edward is better. Edward is mine, and I am his.
I feel free—released from Jacob and every tear I ever shed over him—finally.
He gently pulls away and then stands before me, holding his hand out to me.
I take it and rise before him on shaky legs as my dress drops back down to my knees. I don't have to worry about falling because he is right here, always steadying me in more ways than one.
He pulls my hand covered in his towards him, until it's firmly settled against the hardness between his legs. I can feel him straining against his tux as he guides my hand over his length purposefully.
"Let's go home," he whispers huskily, lowering his lips to the corner of my mouth. "I need you." He emphasizes his words by pressing my hand even harder against him.
"I need you," I whisper back.
"Then you can have me."
Xoxo
I can't decide by Sissor Sisters.
You should thank the lovely JadaPattinson for the little dirty oral action at the end. ; ) She requested it in a very, not-so-subtle way. lol
If you require some visual stimulation for the lemon at the end, I'll tweet Jada's request on my Twitter page (SaintsMistress) under: T&CA CH28 VISUAL AID. Hiehiehie.
It's 18+, so if you're not, don't go there.
Next chapter will be Jacob's wedding. *cue dramatic music*
Dying to hear from you!
With love...
Your Mistress
xoxo