Oh my goodness, I can't believe this is the second to last chapter. I'm feeling the separation anxiety building already. *sniffs*
Anyway – here's the next wedding chapter my beautiful readers!
Love and hugs and kisses to my betas, Adt216 and PainJane. I bow to your superior skill.
A special thanks to a very special lady who took my hand and kept me calm with her encouraging words and precious opinion: justpeachy00 - ILY!
IMPORTANT NOTE: There is a specific song that accompanies a specific scene in this chapter. Trust me, you WANT to play it! I'll post it on my Twitter page (SaintsMistress) and on FB (Thesaintsmistress Nicos), or you can find it here:
http:/www(dot)youtube(dot)com/watch?v=zj7jTtyCmOU
The scene where you want to start playing the song is right after the wedding ceremony when Emily comes to talk to Bella. JUST DO IT!
Okay ladies, hope you enjoy!
Chapter Thirty
-The Past Part Two-
And then the bride, who I can only assume is Leah, slowly starts to move.
I give her a once over, trying to see what Jacob could have seen in this woman to let the one presently pressed against my chest go. I come up with nothing.
I guess it's true what they say, that one's loss is the other one's gain.
Jacob Black may be a huge fucker, but he's also a huge fucking idiot.
xoxo
I...
I should be focusing on Leah. I should be scrutinizing her hair, her dress, her make-up like only a scorned lover can. I should be thinking that it should have been me.
Instead...
I'm focused on the warm, secure hands rubbing over my hips. The steady heartbeat against my back. The intoxicating smell of him. The way his breath washes over my skin whenever he finds something new that amuses him.
I'm so focused on everything about Edward—focused to the point of distraction—that every step Leah takes towards Jacob becomes even more hazy as my reasoning for showing up to this wedding wanes with the slow thumping of the drums in the distance.
I have no idea why I'm here. Why I'm not curled up against him at home in Seattle. Why we're not at his apartment with my friends and his, playing drinking games and snickering at Emmett's ridiculous jokes. Why the boy that has turned me inside out, upside down and twisted in every which way isn't inside me right now, showing me over and over again that all this is in the past, that I'm not part of this world anymore, but part of his. Really, really part of him. I love his world. It's mine now too, and it's all I want.
I came here to prove to everyone that I've moved on, gotten over the heartbreak, and somewhere in the cacophony of Edward and our relationship, that actually became true. And now, now the only thing I want to do is walk away from here and them to never return again. Because I've moved on—in the best way possible.
Edward is telling me in ways only I will know that things have changed for us. Kissing my hand, silent conversations, rubbing fingers and feather light kisses. We are no longer what we once were. We are something new and exciting and scary and... I. Want. It. All. Please.
We're seated once Leah reaches her destination, reaching the man that she loves and that loves her back enough to promise her forever. And, while they smile the sweetest smile at each other as Jake's eyes shimmer from the emotions held inside, my hand is engulfed in the only heat I'll ever need again.
I blink away tears from my own building emotions and feel the hand wrapped around mine tightening. I turn my gaze to meet the green worry of his, and his face tells me that he's misinterpreting. He thinks the tears are for them, but they're not. They're for me. For us. They are cleansing tears of the most profound realization.
I smile, trying to silently convey to him that I'm okay. I'm better than okay. And just like that, he's smiling back, making my heart skip a beat. And oh, that smile makes me want to tell him everything. Makes me want to share everything.
The vows are said; there's soft laughter and gentle hands, and nothing is registering with me, only my heat mixing with his. I want to go home.
"His voice is surprisingly high-pitched for such a big fucker," Edward whispers against my ear, making me giggle softly for the hundredth time today.
I turn to roll my eyes at him teasingly. Edward is not liking the size of Jacob, at all. I wanted to tell him earlier that Jacob wasn't this buff when we dated. His bulging muscles and thick neck are new to me too. There are no traces of the boy I once knew, and even though there's no denying that he looks good, he's no longer familiar. He's different, and he's not my Jacob—he's a stranger.
"Steroids are a bitch." Edward shakes his head for dramatic effect. "Just saying."
I snicker again and lean over to kiss his cheek. His returning grin makes me so damn happy that I raise my free hand, turn his face fully to mine and plant another quick kiss on his pouty lips. As always, even a simple gesture like that has my cheeks flaming with lust. He's so fucking delectable. Edward notices, of course. His smile turns from cheeky to sexy. Everything about him screams 'come hither'.
"Later, baby," he promises against my ear, making my skin pebble in excitement.
In reflex, I capture my bottom lip between my teeth.
In reflex, his eyes darken as they catch the movement.
In reflex, my thighs clench.
In reflex, his tongue sweeps over his lips.
In lust.
In love.
"Hey guys." Alice's voice pulls us from our quasi foreplay. "It's over."
I turn my head and notice through dazed eyes that the ceremony is indeed over, and the guests are slowly rising to make their way to the reception area.
"That went fast," I murmur in confusion, trying to clear my head.
"I'm sure it did," Alice snickers, giving me a knowing look. I smile smugly and shrug in response.
"It's over." I turn back to Edward, pulling him up with my hand as I rise.
His eyes remain dark as they lock on mine as he stands before me. I gulp loudly, because holy shit, you could generate power for a whole city with the heat in his gaze.
"No, baby." He shakes his head slowly. "It's only starting." There's a declaration in his words that matches the desire in his eyes.
No man has ever looked at me like that. I feel trapped and free all at the same time. I want to be bound to it tightly and swirled in its grip uninhibitedly. I want it to penetrate me roughly and extract from me gently. Oh, I want to be pounded by that look.
"I'm going to keep you to all the promises your pretty lips are making," I manage with a breathy laugh, swallowing down the lust thickly.
"I'm counting on it," he delivers smoothly, but the playfulness is back. I'm once again amazed by the paradoxes of this man. Playful, intense, boyish giggles and liquid heat.
Why are we here again?
xoxo
"You're in love with him," Alice whispers knowingly.
We're standing outside the marquise tent where the reception will be held, waiting for the guys to return with our drinks before we enter.
"You can tell?" I ask with a shy smile, studying the delicate buckle on my clutch with fake intensity.
"You're vibrating with it." She giggles, squeezing my wrist gently with her tiny little Alice hand.
"I like that you can tell." My smile grows in size, my eyes remaining downcast.
"Everyone can," she sighs happily.
I nod demurely, even though my heart is hammering in my chest. If Alice can see, then so can Edward. He never misses a thing when it comes to me. But I never miss anything when it comes to him either. The feeling is mutual, I know it. I want to tell him, in the greatest way, in the most intimate way.
"He is too, you know." I raise my gaze to hers, seeing only love and devotion.
"I know."
"You should." She nods with a gentle smile. "It's blinding."
Jasper interrupts our quiet moment, handing me my cosmopolitan and Alice her martini sour.
"Where's Edward?" I ask, scanning the crowd in search of his wild copper penny hair.
"Still at the bar. They don't have Heineken." Jasper says with a laugh. "He and Charlie are forming a united front in protest. Last time I heard, Charlie was instructing Seth to drive into town and buy a case."
We laugh, knowing that those two cannot be bought by fancy imported beer. If Charlie wants Heineken, Charlie gets it no matter what.
"Speaking of Seth," Jasper continues after a moment. "When did all those guys get so fucking built? It's kind of freaky." I laugh even harder at this. Seems like Edward is not the only one intimidated by their sizes.
"Last I heard, Embry is a Body for Life rep," Alice answers. "They're obviously good customers."
"They've always been very supportive of each other." I'm surprised that my voice doesn't sound bitter. When Jacob and I broke-up, I lost all my friends from the reservation. They sided with Jacob, of course. Like a band of brothers. If I wasn't the one hurt, I would've been impressed by their loyalty.
Jasper grumbles something beneath his breath, reminding me so much of Charlie that I have to laugh.
Taking a sip from my drink, I allow my eyes to wander over the crowd, looking and hoping not to find too many familiar faces. I'm in no mood to mingle with the friends of boyfriends past.
"Bella? Alice?" Great.
"Hi, Emily," Alice and I respond simultaneously as Paul's wife walks over to us, her smile slightly guarded, matching her tentative steps.
"How are you?" She's asking both of us but only looking at me, her dark eyes wary. She hasn't changed a bit, I notice. Still the Pocahontas I remember from years ago.
"Good, and you?" I hate small talk.
"Really good, thanks."
Our greeting falls into awkward silence, frozen smiles and wandering eyes.
"Jasper Whitlock." Jasper saves the day by stretching his hand out in greeting. "Alice's husband."
"Emily." She smiles in relief. "Paul Lahote's wife. Pleased to meet you."
"Jake's best man," Alice explains to Jasper softly.
"Oh," Jasper responds easily, making me adore him even more. He's always been good at relieving tension. It's like a gift.
"So, where's the new man in your life, Bella?" Emily asks cheerily. "Charlie has been talking about your Edward nonstop since his return from Seattle." Her words surprise me, and I suddenly have the intense urge to seek out my dad and give him a bone-crunching hug.
"There he is." Alice points over Emily's shoulder. She turns, searching for Edward as I catch a glimpse of him making his way towards us.
"Oh, my," she whispers.
I nod dumbly even though she can't see me. My lips part slightly as my mouth turns dry.
Like a cliché movie moment, everything seems to taper down and happen in slow motion. He's moving in a straight line, the crowd around him parting like the Dead Sea as women stare and men frown. He saunters, because that's how Edward moves, as if each step he takes is a promise that something slow, sweaty and dirty is going to happen once he reaches his destination. His limbs stretch to the rhythm of sex, suit jacket only buttoned once, shiny shoes making their way to me. He raises his head slightly, locking his gaze to mine from beneath lashes. The one corner of his lips lifts devilishly, but if you know him like I do, the smile is more teasing than it is cocky. He has no idea that he's turning every woman in a hundred mile radius into panting putty.
My eye catches the movement of Emily's hand as she subconsciously raises it to her throat.
I know, honey. We never stood a chance.
I swear I can hear the collective moans of woman climaxing all over the world.
Bent head as one hand pushes through unruly hair, tongue wetting pink lips as his eyes smoulder and scorch into mine. Sweet, baby...
"Hi," he breathes as he steps right past Emily, eyes boring into mine.
I want to giggle at Emily's gasp, but quickly realise that it was me.
"Hi," I croak, blinking profusely.
His brow furrows in amused confusion before he dips his head to mine with a chuckle and lays a gentle kiss on my lips.
"Sorry I took so long," he breathes, completely unaware of the havoc he's caused.
"Jasper explained." I smile, taking him in as he turns to stand beside me, arm immediately snaking around my waist.
"Hi," he greets smoothly when he notices Emily staring transfixed at him. "I'm Edward Cullen."
Her blush is surprisingly visible, even beneath her tanned skin. She giggles, and I bite the inside of my cheek to stop myself from joining her. Alice is less successful, shoulders shaking in laughter as she buries her face in Jasper's chest.
"Emily," she squeaks in response as her eyes jut from my face to his nervously. "Umm—" She rings her hands together nervously. "I'll catch up with you guys later." And with that, she hightails it out of there, causing Alice and I to burst into rowdy laughter.
"Did you see her face?" I wheeze.
"Did you see yours?" Alice chokes through giggles, pointing at my blushing cheeks in mirth.
"What did I do?" Edward asks in confusion.
Jasper barks out a laugh. "Nothing, man." He shakes his head. "Let's head in before the girls swoon you to death."
The reception is beautifully decorated. Fairy lights, dream catchers, feathers in shades of autumn everywhere. We're seated with Renee and Charlie, who are already waiting. Charlie is holding a Heineken in each hand, handing one to Edward as soon as we reach them.
"Thank you, Charlie." Edward sighs in gratitude. I roll my eyes for my mother's benefit, and she reciprocates the movement, giving me a secret smile. The two most important men in my life have something in common and seem to be forging a solid bond around good hops. It's very sweet and slightly ridiculous, but it makes me indescribably giddy.
We're caught up in light conversation when a song blares from the speakers and everyone suddenly rises.
The bride and groom have entered the building...or the tent, if you like. Smiles stretching widely, steps light and happy. I smile despite of myself.
Jake breaks into a break dance of sorts, Leah following behind him with matched rhythm. They twist and turn and dance like complete fools, the moves obviously choreographed for the event. It's meant to be funny and amusing, but I find it slightly ridiculous and lacking in elegance. A bride is not meant to move like that in a wedding dress. I could be biased of course...
Jake reaches over and pulls Leah into the air, doing some complicated lifts and dips, throwing her lithe body over and around him like a rag doll. The crowd gasps and cheers.
My eyes scan the faces around me. Charlie is frowning in confusion. Renee is smiling, but it's plastered and awkward. Alice is playing with her phone. Jasper's head is bobbing with the music as he nurses his whiskey steadily.
"Good god," Edward mumbles beside me as Jake throws Leah into the air one more time before they end the song with a dramatic bow. "They should seriously lay off the moonshine."
xoxo
Love...
"There isn't a man here that's not watching you," Edward murmurs as he gently moves us around the dance floor.
"There's hardly anyone left," I snort, glancing at the empty tables around us.
The night went by in a flurry of activity. Speeches, which I hardly paid attention to as Edward had me enraptured in a heavy game of scrabble on his phone. Dinner, which was really good—surprisingly enough—since I always thought the only thing the Quileute's could make decently is fried fish. Dances and drinks and laughing until I cried as Jasper took it upon himself to supply the evening's entertainment in the form of extremely inappropriate jokes. If I was being completely honest, I was having an absolute blast. Of course, it helped that I didn't see Jacob or Leah all night. They were so busy with photos and talking to the rest of the guests that I almost forgot they were even here.
"That guy looked." He points at Jacob's dad, Billy. He smiles back at us, raising a glass in salute. I lift my hand and wave politely.
"That's Jacob's dad," I snicker.
"Pervert," he jokes, making me throw my head back in laughter.
"I couldn't keep my eyes off you tonight," he says after a moment, swaying us gently.
My chest swells with happiness as his expression turns soft and imploring. My eyes search his, desperate to pull the words from him, desperate to speak them myself.
"Neither could he," he says softly, tilting his head to the side. My eyes follow the movement and find Jacob standing amongst his friends, eyes fixed on us.
I turn my gaze back to Edward hurriedly.
"I didn't even notice," I admit softly, pulling him further into me, seeking his comfort and warmth. He obliges without objection.
"I did."
I don't answer, laying my head against his chest with a sigh.
"You should go talk to him, Bella." My head jerks back, eyes scanning his face frantically.
He smiles at me sweetly, raising his hands to run them over my cheeks. I close my eyes at the contact, revelling in the tenderness of his gesture.
"I don't want to talk to him." I keep my eyes closed, unwilling to open them in the face of the hard reality of his words.
"I know." His voice sounds like his smile. I open my lids tentatively to find the sound reflecting on his face. "But you should."
He pulls my face to his and presses his mouth to mine reassuringly, before pulling away from me completely. Digging his hand into his pants pocket, he pulls out his car keys and hand them over to me. I stare at the keys in my hand blankly, unable to figure out the meaning of it.
"I'll head back with Jasper and Alice," he explains when I'm still staring at them blankly.
"What?" I squeak, eyes lifting to his frantically. "No."
"I'll be waiting for you at your parents' house."
"But—" I stutter, my breath leaving my chest in rapid heaves.
"Go end this, baby." His voice is soft sugar, coating me in sweetness.
I want to protest. I want to plead, but I know he's right. I need to close this door on my own. I can't have Edward giving me all the answers all the time. I need to do this on my own.
I nod reluctantly, earning a broad smile.
He pulls me into him, hugging me tightly as I squeeze back desperately.
"Don't take too long, my love," he whispers in my ear before placing a kiss against it. I shiver at his words and their implications. My eyes brim with unshed tears once he pulls away, placing a final kiss on my lips.
I don't want him to leave. I want him to explain his words to me. I want to tell him how I feel, but he's gone before I'm able to form the words, leaving me staring blankly at the space he occupied.
My hand curls around his keys, as if the little piece of him will ground me enough to do this.
To face my demons.
To face Jacob Black.
xoxo
I make my way down the small stretch of beach, toes digging into soft sand, shoes dangling in my hand. The wind picked up earlier, whipping my hair until loose tendrils fall around my face.
As soon as I decided to summon my courage and speak to Jake, he was gone.
I knew where he went.
It's where he always goes.
Where we used to go to be alone.
A few yards down the beach, sitting like a dark, lonesome figure, Jake is perched on the rock where we used to share all our childhood secrets. The place he told me we would be friends forever. Where he asked me to be his girlfriend. Where he stole my first kiss and then stole my first everything... On that note, don't ever have sex on the beach, unless it's the drink, the sand gets in everywhere.
"Hi," I sigh, dropping my shoes on the sand and climbing onto the rock to sit beside him.
"Hey," he responds softly, looking at me for a quick moment, before returning his attention to the incoming tide. I mirror his position, pulling my knees up to my chest and hugging my legs against me to shield me from the cold.
"Are you cold?" He makes a move to remove his jacket.
"I won't be here long," I answer softly, keeping my arms clasped around me.
I see his shoulders fall slightly, before he turns back to his stoic position.
"I hoped you would come here." His voice is so different from how I remember it. Older. Grown-up. Unfamiliar.
I don't answer. He fills the silence with a tortured sigh.
"Hells Bells—"
"Don't call me that," I cut him off shortly.
"I've always called you that."
"I'm not that person anymore," I offer in explanation. I don't want him to use his old nickname for me. It's connected to good, sweet memories. Memories he forever tainted.
"I can see that," he mumbles softly. "You look really good, Bella." He says my name like it's a foreign language, thick and unfamiliar on his tongue.
"You too," I lie, because seriously, what the hell am I supposed to say to that. "Leah looked beautiful today."
"Yeah," I can hear the smile in his voice, and it hurts, just a little.
"Where is she?" I chance a glance in his direction. I'm sure she would be less than pleased finding Jacob sitting here with me, in a spot she knows better than anyone else holds very intimate memories.
"Emily took her to change out of her wedding dress," he explains. "She's probably waiting for me as we speak."
"Then you should go." I nod decisively, eager to take my leave. I mean honestly, I came; I saw; I conquered. What else is left?
"Not yet." He grabs my wrist as I lower my legs to stand. On instinct I pull my arm away from his with a jerk. "Sorry." He raises his hands in surrender, his eyes reflecting the hurt in them.
"No, I'm sorry," I offer grudgingly. "Reflex."
I see him nod in my periphery, as I pull my knees against my chest again.
"I'm sorry about everything." His apology is so soft I can hardly hear it over the rumble of the waves. "I'm so sorry I hurt you. You were my best friend, and fuck, B." He pushes his face into his hands. "I miss you like fucking crazy."
I swallow the lump that has formed in my throat and nod, unable to trust my voice.
"Please tell me you forgive me." He turns towards me, forcing me to watch his eyes as they beg and plead. "Please forgive us both."
"Jacob," I start, taking a deep breath to calm my emotions. "I have forgiven you."
His head whips back in shock, his eyes growing in surprise as his mouth twists into a smile that once made my heart skip a beat but does nothing for me now.
"You have" He seems so happy, and I feel my chest constrict in agony. "I'm so glad to hear that, B. Leah so desperately wants to fix things."
"Yeah, I can tell," I snort bitterly.
"Bella—"
"Jake. Stop." I warn, pushing myself off the rock until I'm standing on the sand, looking at him.
He looks so confused and hopeful and lost, staring down at me in silence. It's almost painful to do this to him. But, then I remember a similar face, with a similar expression from my past. One that talked to me about marriage and love and the future, right before he fucked my best friend.
"Why did you do it?" My voice is strained and laced with anger.
"I love her, Bella." His voice is a tortured whisper.
"No, not that." I shake my head, squeezing my eyes shut from the all too familiar aggression boiling inside me. "Why did you cheat, Jacob? Why didn't you just tell me?"
He sighs heavily, resting his head in his hands, fingers pulling at cropped hair. "I ask myself that question every day, B."
"And?" I push. "Have you come up with an answer that makes you less of a dickhead?"
"No," he shakes his head in regret. "I'm a dickhead, regardless."
"Finally, something we agree on." I laugh cynically.
The silence between us is heavy. My heart aches at the cruelty of it. We used to be able to talk about everything. We used to fight to get a word in edgewise between snorts of laughter and innocent teasing. He changed everything—ripped it away and left me to heal all on my own.
"Look," I sigh in resignation. "I forgive you. You and Leah," I shift from one foot to the other, watching him watch me. "It may have only happened recently, but I did," I say with a wry smile, thinking of Edward, and how I really wish I was with him right now, instead of here.
"You and Leah hurt me, Jake."
"I'm so sorry—"
"Just let me get this out, okay?" I interrupt him impatiently. He closes his mouth with a pop and nod silently.
"It took me a very long time to get over that," I continue. "But I have. I am. And I forgive you. But I didn't do it for you, or for Leah. I did it for me."
I see his Adam's apple bob as he swallows thickly, but thankfully, he remains silent.
"And even though I'm finally able to move on. To let it go. I can never have you in my life again."
I see the tears beneath his lashes and blink my eyes to rid me of my own treacherous tears.
"How could I ever respect you again, J?"
"B—" he chokes out, his face contorting with emotion.
"How?" I cry, raising my hands to wipe at the wetness on my cheeks. "How am I supposed to be friends with someone that I don't respect? That I can't trust?"
"I'm so sorry," he moans, moving to stand in front of me. "I never meant to hurt you," he implores. "Never you."
"I know you're sorry." I nod, taking a step away from him. "But we aren't kids anymore, Jake. This isn't like stealing my diary, or kissing away scraped knees or getting high at my prom. Apologies can't fix everything."
"I know that." He nods, shoving his hands into his pockets as his head drops in defeat.
"Even if I could be friends with you again," I explain coolly. "Even if we tried really hard to put this behind us. I'm in an important relationship now, and Edward really doesn't like you."
"Can't say I blame him," Jake chuckles darkly.
"I'm not willing to jeopardise what I have with him, to try and salvage this." I wave my hand between us. "It's just not worth it."
He nods again.
"If it helps, I'm really relieved that wasn't you and me today." I'm elated at how true the words are, how good they make me feel. If it was me marrying Jake today, I never would have met Edward, or even if I did, I wouldn't have been able to know him like I do now. The thought of not knowing Edward is almost crippling.
Jake smiles back, because no matter how much it hurt in the past, the fact of the matter is that we were never meant to be. If we didn't break up because of Leah, it would have been because of something else.
"I'm so grateful all of us found the person we want to spend the rest of our lives with." I smile even wider, knowing that I mean every word. Edward is my forever. I will want him always.
"Edward?" Jake asks, the name of my beautiful boy spoken by his lips feels almost blasphemous.
I nod.
"Charlie and Renee really like him." He smiles, but it doesn't reach his eyes.
"Me too." I grin, unable to keep the happiness from my expression when thinking of him. Waiting for me at my parents' house. Alone. Once again, I realize that I don't want to be here. That I've said what I needed to say, and that I need to walk away from Jake, once and for all.
"I wish you and Leah all the happiness in the world," I say sincerely. "Everyone deserves to be happy, even you two." I wink, causing him to chuckle softly.
He wipes the last of his tears with the back of his hand and sighs heavily.
"Goodbye, Jacob." I smile, stepping back. Forever.
"If you're in town again, will you at least wave if you see me?" he asks gently, referring to the few times I came back to Forks after everything happened. I used to pride myself on how many times I would run into them and ignore them like a stop sign.
"Maybe." I shrug noncommittally.
"That's enough for now." He ods in resignation. "Go be happy, Hells Bells."
Without a second's delay, my feet are moving faster, and faster, until I'm panting and laughing and crying.
Away from my past and head first into my future—every limb eagerly stretching to get me to where I belong.
To get me to Edward.
Xoxo
You...
My feet can't carry me fast enough as I scurry out of Edward's car, slamming his door behind me. I cringe at the sound, knowing he would have ripped me a new one if he had heard it. The Volvo is his baby. The Volvo, and me.
I smile goofily, running up the porch steps of my parents' house. Pulling at the handle of the front door, I frown in confusion when I find it locked. Taking a step to the left to peek through the window, I notice that there isn't a single light on inside.
My heart beats erratically as I frantically reach into my purse, searching for my BlackBerry. For a fleeting second, I consider the possibility that Edward may have left, but the thought is immediately replaced by his parting words. He called me 'love'.
I'm about to call him when I hear a deep voice, laughing softly in the distance. My head whips around, looking for the person behind the sound. Looking for him.
I follow the sound of his voice, making my way around the side of the house, the familiar baritone growing stronger with each step.
I walk into our backyard, and there, lounging in all his glory, is Edward. He's talking on the phone, Heineken in one hand, sprawled out in one of our deckchairs. His head is tilted backwards, eyes staring up at the sky, smile stretching his lips.
"Okay, mom." I hear him chuckle softly, my own mouth spreading into a smile. "I'll see you soon."
He hangs up and drops his phone on the grass beside him, taking a pull from his beer with a content sigh.
He's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.
"What are you doing?" I ask.
He starts, sits up straight and chokes on his beer in one movement.
"Fuck, Bella," he says between coughs. "You almost gave me a heart attack." He's wiping at his chin, where some of his beer spilled.
"Sorry." I laugh softly.
"Then stop laughing, you little sadist." He chuckles.
We stare at each other for a moment, his expression turning from amused to the softest soft.
"What are you doing out here?" I ask after finding my voice. The boy's face stuns me stupid.
"Kind of forgot to ask for a key." He shrugs, watching me contemplatively. "You're parents still there?"
I nod. Knowing them, they'll be burning the midnight oil with Billy and Sue.
"Why are you all the way over there when you could be over here?" he asks, giving me a knee-buckling smile with a pat on his lap.
I smile and take a tentative step forward, revelling in his intense stare.
I take a deep breath and prepare myself for what I'm about to do.
"Do you know that I'm so—"
I take another step.
"So—"
Then another.
"So in love with you."
I stop, hearing him gasp as his face morphs into shock. I planned on easing into it alittle more, but seeing him on my parents' deckchair, talking to his mother, star gazing, waiting for me, did me in. I want him to know. No more waiting.
"Bella—"
"Do you?" I interrupt him, taking another small step.
He blinks, his mouth opening and closing a few times before I see him visibly calm himself.
"I had my suspicions." He breathes.
I arch an eyebrow at his response, moving my hands to the little knot at my side holding my dress together.
His eyes drop to the movement of my hands as I deftly untie the strings, letting my dress fall open slightly.
I can practically hear him swallow when he finally lifts his gaze back to mine—his expression one of fascination and awe.
"Do you want to know why?" Another step, bringing me closer to where I'll always want to be.
"Why—" His voice breaks. "Why?" he asks again after clearing his throat.
"Well," I start, tasting the words on my lips and loving the flavour. My hands move to the hidden button beneath my dress to release the second part of the material. When I pull my hands back, my dress is hanging precariously from my shoulders, exposing me almost completely to his hungry eyes. He sits up even straighter, dropping his feet to either side of the chair, effectively straddling it. His beer is the next to follow, being placed on the grass, all this with his eyes fixed to mine, generating heat that warms my body even from this distance.
"I love you," I say with a smile, taking another step, "because you make me laugh." His eyes lift to mine, lips twitching in response. "And today, you did it on purpose to make me forget why I thought I should be sad. But Edward?"
I take another step.
"I wasn't sad." He runs his hands over his thighs, licking his lips subconsciously.
"I love you because you're kind." He shakes his head, but says nothing to contradict me. "You've never said a bad word about anyone—not even Jessica." He snorts a knowing laugh, but even though his eyes are warm and gentle, his whole body is screaming desire. For me.
"You talk to your mother while staring at the stars." I step closer, shrugging the dress from my shoulders until it's pooling at my feet. He shifts in his chair, and I know it's killing him to stay put. "Do you know how much I love that?"
He shakes his head dumbfounded.
I reach behind me, unclasping my bra, and I can practically see him trembling in anticipation. His tongue juts out again as I pull the delicate lace over my arms. The coolness of the night instantly has my nipples hardening, and he groans—a low, agonizing grown that shoots right to my centre.
"You've been so wonderful to my parents." I sigh walking towards him slowly. "Even when you didn't have to. And they adore you, Edward. But not as much as I do."
"Baby..." His voice is a squeak; his eyes are a plea. A plea to touch. To end his torture.
"You walked into my life, into the very most private part, and ripped away all my defences." I hear my voice shake from the building emotion.
"You took my crap and never allowed me to take myself too seriously." A tear slips from my eyes, and I see his hands twitch. Eager to reach out and stroke it away. Eager to soothe. But tonight, I will be the one to reassure. To validate. To love.
I'm only a breath away from him, looking down at his stunned expression as the fabric from his pants tickles my skin.
"You told me your secrets on tiny scraps of toilet paper." My voice breaks as the tears are now freely falling from my eyes. I see the same emotion in his, his eyes sparkling beneath the night sky. "I love you because you wanted to stay. And when I didn't know how to ask you, you showed me, baby."
"Bella," he begs, his voice gruff. "Please."
I hold my hands out to him, palms up. He takes them without hesitation. I smile through my tears, and place them on my hips, urging him to remove the last scrap of hindrance. He complies, hooking his thumbs into the waist of my panties before pulling them over my hips and down my legs, never taking his eyes of mine.
I place my hands on his shoulders and step out of them and out of my shoes as he slowly moves his hands back to my hips, pressing his thumbs into my waist gently.
I push his shoulders back, and he relents, his lips parting as his breath releases from his chest with a whoosh.
I smile and lift my leg over him, lowering myself to straddle him as he straddles the chair.
His hands remain on my hips as I settle onto his thighs, dragging my fingers over his chest until they reach the button of his pants.
"And today, Edward." I pause, taking in his heaving chest. "Today you told me you love me in so many small ways. Not because you're too chicken shit to say it out loud, but because you were waiting for the right moment. You were waiting for me, my love."
He nods and then whimpers as I slowly lower his zipper. He is hard beneath my touch, and as usual, my thighs clench.
I can tell he wants to smirk, but he's too focused on my movements as I reach into his boxers and pull him out.
"Shit," he breaths, squeezing his eyes shut, before snapping them open again, unwilling to miss a single moment.
"You burn for me," I whisper, stroking him gently. "Now let me melt for you."
"Fuck," he groans, his resolve crumbling away before my very eyes as he reaches a hand behind my head and pulls me down to him forcefully.
His lips are on mine, warm and wet and desperate. I moan when he pushes his tongue into my mouth, delving, probing and pleading for more.
I start the process of unbuttoning his shirt, but make no move to push it over his shoulders. He does shrug his jacket off though, arms twisting and struggling as he presses his mouth harder against mine.
He pulls away, breathless, staring at me through hooded lids. I cock my head to the side, giving him a coy smile, which causes the side of his mouth to lift. Sitting up against me, he pulls his jacket over my shoulders.
"It's cold," he murmurs as he helps me push my arms through the sleeves.
On his way back down, he pulls at the lapels bringing me down against his chest with him.
We're silently lost in each other, gazes locked, lips tingling, hips slowly starting to come to life as our bare chests touch on each inhale.
I place a soft kiss on his lips, before rising, his hardness in my hand as I guide him to me, to where I throb for him.
"Edward—"
"Shhh," he silences me, slowly pulling me down on him, filling me. He gasps as I lift and settle again to adjust to his length.
"Fuck," I whisper and lean my head back, eyes rolling into the back of my head at the overpowering sensation of having him inside me.
"I'm falling so fucking hard for you, Bella." I lift my head to look into his eyes. My breath catches at the emotion I find there, and then his lips are on mine again, tentative and soft and declaring. "Make love to me," he says between breaths, between panting, between sucking. It has never felt this good.
I slam my hips into his, enjoying the union of our hips as they meet over and over again. His hands are guiding me gently, helping me keep the pace.
He pulls away from my lips with a groan, leaning back down, staring up at me hungrily. His hands slide from my hips to cup my ass as he pushes and pulls, setting a rhythm we both need.
We're silent, feasting in each other. I can't pull my eyes from his. He's staring, his gaze a mixture of desire and lust and something I can now recognize as love.
Our bodies start to move faster as I drop my hands to his chest to steady my movements.
"Use my body," he groans. "Show me how you want to be loved."
I pant heavily, lowering my gaze to his convulsing abdomen. He is so strong. I know what his body is capable of. I know how he can make me lose my mind with a simple twist of his hips.
I reach behind me and place my hands on his spread knees, arching back, seeking friction.
Edward is quick to follow, sitting up straight and moving his hands from my ass, placing one hand between my shoulder blades and the other on my abdomen, pressing down. I bend my arms and allow myself to lean even further into his grip as the pressure sends my body into a frenzy.
"Fuck," I breathe as his cock grazes new spots within me.
"Yeah," he moans, pulling me into him faster, his hips thrusting forward to meet mine.
"Harder," I beg as I dig my nails into the material covering his knees.
"Shittt..." he hisses, pumping into me like only he knows how.
We're working each other over at a relentless pace, gasping and swearing into the darkness.
"This chair is remarkably steady," he murmurs softly.
I snort a laugh which quickly morphs into a cry as he presses his hand harder against my abdomen, lowering his thumb to press against my clit. He doesn't rub, only firmly keeps his thumb there, making my hips jerk and my toes curl.
My eyes are open, staring up at the sky filled with stars. You don't see this many stars in Seattle, I think as my body slowly starts to barrel towards ecstasy, making the lights swirl together.
"Look at you, baby," he whispers in awe. "Look how beautiful you are." I drop my chin to my chest, settling my eyes on his evergreen, anchoring me.
"Fuck, you turn me on," he admits with a shaky breath, driving into me relentlessly.
"Yesss," I hiss as the head of his cock grazes that spot inside me.
He moves his hand from my abdomen, pulling my left leg up and placing my foot on his hip, spreading me open in front of him.
"Holy..." I trail off as new sensations engulf me, his hand moving back to my stomach, his thumb to my clit. This time he rubs, and I scream his name.
"When you come," he pauses, pushing into me with such fierceness that my legs go numb. "Come knowing that you are my everything."
"Edward," I gasp, squeezing my eyes shut at his words, feeling my body coil in submission.
"Milk me, knowing that I love you more than anyone."
"Fuck!" I cry out, my orgasm hitting me with such violence that my arms give out beneath me. Edward quickly wraps his arms around my back, pulling me up and against his chest as I fall into him, hips writhing and slapping.
"Oh shit, oh shit," I moan as wave after wave of body-numbing pleasure assaults me. "I can't... I don't," I mumble incoherently, gasping for air, clinging to the tendrils of release as it snakes and weaves and pulls.
"Don't stop," he pants against my ear, a hand falling to my hip to keep me moving. "Please, baby, don't stop."
My legs are so weak I can barely sit straight, but I keep rolling, keep thrusting, desperate to keep hold of the feeling, to give him the same.
"That's it," he gasps. "That's fucking it." And then, he explodes inside me, clutching and erratic and moaning. "Bella," he cries. "Ohhhh, Fuuuck!"
My lips attach to his neck, sucking and licking as I come down, shivering and spent. Nails dragging through his hair as he shudders and spills into me.
"Holy shit," he releases a stuttering breath, his hips still rolling into mine franticly, elongating his pleasure and mine. Chests clammy and heaving.
"Ahhh—" he grunts and groans and trembles in my arms.
He falls back, pulling me with him as I trail my lips over his neck and jaw.
"Kiss me, please," he whispers as the muscles in his covered thighs jerk beneath mine.
I don't hesitate to comply, pushing my tongue into his open mouth and claiming what is mine. His tongue makes promises against mine, sweet and lazy and forever. His hands rub my thighs, like they always do after exerting them.
Our kisses become slower, shallower; our lips hardly pressed together as our tongues touch.
He moves his mouth from mine, digging his nose into my hair as he hugs me to him with a heavy sigh.
We remain silent, hugging tightly, coming down from our high. Lips to neck, lips to ear, lips to cheek.
"I had a plan, you know," he murmurs against my skin. "But then you were naked, and now I can't even remember what it was."
I chuckle lazily against his neck, licking at his pulse.
"So..." he trails off into the silence.
"So..." I repeat.
"Now that you love me—"
"Yeah," I breathe, tightening my grip on his shoulders.
"Are you still going to force me to go to lunch at Angela's tomorrow?"
"Yes." I giggle, kissing the small cleft in his chin. "You'll love her once you get to know her."
I feel him shaking his head above mine as I rest my head on his shoulder.
"I only love one woman at a time," he remarks teasingly. "Apart from my mother, that's you, baby. Take it or leave it."
"I'll take it." I nod decisively, earning a chuckle. "Now come," I say, pushing myself up on his chest. "Let me teach you how to climb a tree."
"Is that some weird Forksonian euphemism for sex?" he asks with a cheeky grin.
"No." I roll my eyes playfully. "But it will get us into my room, where there's a bed..." I trail off, wagging my eyebrows suggestively.
"Will you be climbing it naked?" he asks, feigning contemplation.
"I might," I shrug and roll my hips suggestively.
He hisses and then slaps my ass lightly.
"I'll climb your tree anytime, baby." I tease with a giggle.
"Slut," he laughs as I attempt to stand, but fail miserably. My legs obviously need a few more moments to recuperate.
You love me." I point out with a soft smile, all playfulness gone as he once again rubs my thighs soothingly.
"I do." He nods. "So fucking much."
xoxo
Yay! They love each other! : )
Let me know what you think.
With love...
Your Mistress
xoxo