Dear Peeta,

I'm broken.

Shattered. Smashed. Apart. I've been torn so many times the pieces are too small to fix. I can't make sense of anything. My future is the Capitol's. as is any hope I used to have. Everything is so confusing. It scares me.

It scares me how little control I have over my own life, on the people I love lives. Watching them suffer, it hurts me so much knowing I can't change it, that I will never be able to help. That feeling claws at my chest, ripping my heart into shreds and I just want to scream.

That's why I'm doing this. Trying to save you. I can't let you die for me Peeta, you deserve to live! Snow hates me; he'll never stop or leave me alone. A predator always stalks the easy, weak prey, and I'm the weakest against his attacks because I want to protect the people I love from him. There's nothing you or I can do.

Don't hate Haymitch or me for helping you get out alive, please forgive me for trying to save you, please forgive me for not letting you save me, I wasn't yours to save, you are mine. I know you want too but you shouldn't, I'm not worth your life.

I messed everything up, it's my fault we're in this stupid mess! I should have killed myself, rather than let you take the berries. I should have found another way, any other way to get us both out! I should have played the part better, the star-crossed

lover, convinced Snow.

I'm going to do this, whatever it takes to save you now. Be the Victor for me.

I'm bad with words, you know that. But even a million word of the best words can't describe how I feel about you. You mend me, give me hope and happiness. I never want to be apart from you.

My world without you is silent and still, not even the birds will sing my silent song of pain without you. I feel empty without you in my arms, words become unless without you to talk too. Life becomes a waking nightmare that you aren't there to comfort.

I need to save you because I love you. I love you! And I really don't want to. I don't want you to ever get hurt because of me, I couldn't bare to know it's my fault you are hurt. I've denied it so long I convinced myself as well! But it's true. You consume my thoughts, I want to see you everyday, I want to watch you be happy, feel your lips against mine. I want us to be together.

Not as the star-crossed lovers, with the fancy Capitol wedding with people we don't know, only kissing in front of our audience, but Peeta and Katniss, from District twelve, who have a toasting and live together in peace. Just us. No audience, no tricks, nothing unreal. As long as we are together it wouldn't matter where.

I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier, I couldn't tell you how I felt. Everyone I love gets hurt. But it's taken me a long time to see it wasn't me hurting them, it's the Capitol! It's always the Capitol that screws everyone up!

I can't tell you before the Games, that would be selfish of me, you'd only want me to live more and I can't do that, I need you to let me go. I shouldn't tell you now but I can't stand the thought of you always wondering if I loved you or not. So I'm telling you now!

I love you Peeta Mellark! I love you more everyday! It doesn't matter that we aren't together anymore, it doesn't! As long as you're happy! I want your life to be brilliant and wonderful and amazing! I want you to be brave and face the Capitol! I want you to love your life, not hate it to the life we might have had! Live it for both of us!

I love you Peeta! I'm sorry you'll never hear those words come from my lips, I'm sorry I can't look you in your beautiful blue eyes and tell you, I'm sorry I can't kiss you after I say it.

There are so many things I would have liked to do with you Peeta, we were never meant to be ripped apart. It's so hard for me to think that you'll never wake up and be able to see me again, or tell me all about your day. That you'll only have memories of me, and not hopes of what we can do together on day.

So this is really it. The end of us, the end of me. I'll die in the Games. I am scared, but only that my death won't save you. I need you to be safe, I need to know that your not going to do anything stupid like try to join me. Don't Peeta. Please. Take care of my family for me, tell Prim how much I love her because I can't anymore. Keep her safe because she'll be sad. I know you'll be sad too, but please smile.

Smile to show they can't break you Peeta, smile to show that they can't break us.

Be strong my Peeta, because I'll be with you, I promise. Even death can't stop love. Love carries on. Together.

Always, Katniss

I stare down at the crumpled sheet of paper faded slightly with time. Written two years ago. Haymitch delivered it to me the day I got back to twelve, Katniss' letter to me the days before the Quarter Quell. I'd forgotten I'd even had it, tucked away out of sight, until now.

She loved me.

Katniss Everdeen loved me.

I look at her, across the table, beautiful as always writing a letter to her Mother.

My Katniss, who I still love with all my heart and soul, who I never want to live without. Her misty grey eyes find mine and she smiles at me, a wonderful light-in-her-eyes-smile, saved only for me.

Standing up so heavily, I hit the table. I move towards her.

"Peeta?" she asks worriedly, thinking I'm having a 'turn'. She gets to her feet, unsure whether or not she should leave.

I walk right up to her, really close and run both my hands up her arms, reaching behind her slender neck. The neck I wrapped my arms around and tried to kill her, but I'll never do that again. I love Katniss; I'd never want to hurt her. My hands move through her dark hair and I pull her towards me for a long, deep kiss that fills me with pleasure. Katniss' hands move around me as she gives a tiny groan.

I could stay like this forever but I pull away and reach down to grab the letter and show her. Her eyes widen in shock at seeing it.

"You love me." I whisper to her, "Real or not real?"

She looks right at me, a tear about to roll down her cheek, I brush it away as she whispers,

"Real."