PORT ANGELES
"there you are!" The booming voice of the stocky dark haired man shattered the intense quiet and made me jump. In the gathering darkness it looked like he was looking passed me. "yeah" another voice said, making me jump again as I tried to hurry down the street. "We just took a little detour". My steps had to slow now, I was closing the distance between me and the lounging pair too fast. I had a good loud scream, I sucked in air, preparing to use it, my throat was so dry I didn't know how much volume I could manage. With a quick movement I slipped my purse over my head, gripping the strap with one hand, ready to surrender it or use as a weapon as need demanded.A thickset man shrugged away from the wall as I warily came to a stop, and walked slowly into the street. "stay away from me" I said in a voice that was supposed to be strong and fearless. I knew Dr Cullen was close, I felt whole this afternoon. "Don't be like that, sugar" he called, the raucous laughter started again from behind me. I braced myself, feet apart, trying to remember what little self-defense I knew. Heel of the hand thrust forward, hopefully breaking nose. Finger through the eye socket – try to hook round and pop eye out. And the standard knee to groin, of course. I fought with the pessimistic voice that told me that I didn't stand a chance against one of them and that Carlisle wouldn't save me.
Headlights suddenly flew around the corner, the car almost hitting the stocky one, forcing him to jump back toward the sidewalk. I realised I had seen this car at least 3 times in one day. The car fishtailed around me, to stop with the passenger door open just a few feet from me. "Bella, get in" a husky voice filled with trauma pleaded. It was amazing how instantaneously the choking fear vanished, amazing how security suddenly washed over me - even before I was off the street – as soon as I'd heard and smelled Dr Cullen. I jumped into the seat, slamming the door shut behind me. It was dark in the car, no light had turned on with the opening of the door.
"Put on your seatbelt, Bella" Carlisle said. I smiled – I was whole again. I studied the double-backing Carlisle, who was glancing at me every minute. His face was twisted in worry. "Are you alright?" I asked Carlisle.
"no, I should have never left you alone, knowing what I knew"
"hugh?"
"I should be with you at all times if you get into trouble so often. I'm so sorry. Even now, protecting you – will get you in trouble with Charlie" I stared unable to speak. "How was your time at First Beach, Bella?"
"confusing" I said quickly. He looked at me, perplexed. "I - I'll explain later"
Carlisle parallel parked against the curb in a space that I thought was too small for his black Mercedes, although he slid in effortlessly with one try. I looked out the wall to see the lights of La Bella Italia, and Jess and Angela just leaving, pacing anxiously away from us.
"how did you know where...?" I began, but then I shook my head, clearing it. He opened his door. "What are you doing?"
"I'm taking you to dinner" he smiled as he opened my door for me, "Miss Stanley, Miss Weber!" Dr Cullen called to my friends. They saw me, and rushed over. Angela and Jess's glances flickered from me to Carlisle, smiling next to me. "Where have you been?"Jessica's voice was suspicious.
"I got lost" I admitted sheepishly. "and then I ran into Carlisle" I gestured toward him, he looked at me and smiled sweetly. We held gaze for a couple of seconds. I teared my gaze away to look at my friends who were standing there awkwardly. "I hoped it would be alright if I joined you?" Carlisle tried lightly.
"er... sure" Jessica replied quietly.
"umm, actually Bella, we already ate while we were waiting – sorry"
"that's just fine" Carlisle reassured, leaning slightly forward pursing his lips for one blissful moment, "I'm taking Bella to dinner. I'm she is just starving. You don't have to wait for us, I will drive Bella home in my Mercedes. If you girls don't mind parting with your friend". Jess opened her mouth and then just nodded awkwardly. "okay, see you tomorrow Bella... Dr Cullen" Angela inclined her head. They walked away whispering to each other. "Is this a date?" I asked stupidly.
"It is nothing else but trouble for you Bella". He smiled and took my hand in his cold, silken-skinned one and led me up the stairs.
**********************************
She led us to a table big enough for four in the center of the most crowded dining area. I was about to sit down, Carlisle held my arm. " I would like Bella and I to sit somewhere more private if that's possible" Carlisle said smiling lightly. I'd never seen anyone refuse a table, accept in the old movies. She turned and led us around a partition to a small ring of booths. Our server arrived, "What can I offer you to drink?"
"I'll have a coke" I said.
"make that two" Carlisle agreed. Carlisle glanced up and smiled politely just long enough to not seem rude. He was frowning.
"What?"
"Are you alright? How have you been... I know the worries that fatherhood can cause. Charlie is just trying to protect you"
"He's too awkward to say anything. I'm an adult now, he can't tell me who to date. I mean I normally wouldn't have gone for an... older guy, but – this – is - inevitable" I said in a strained frequently-pausing voice.
Carlisle stared for a few moments, eyes slightly wider than usual.
"I'm sure he's just looking for a way to tell you how he feels about this"
"hey, but, what does your family – think – about me?" I asked, sullen.
"Esme is ecstatic, she just wants to see me happy. Esme doesn't care that you're too young" he added quietly. "She's been worried about me – a lot. I haven't dated in a while... The others laugh at me and you because they think it's funny that the eldest in the family has a younger crush. They're very excited that someone actually has confronted me in regards to their feelings. However young" he said in his husky matter-of-factly voice. I frowned and shook my head.
"but... you did this to me – didn't you know – how? - this doesn't make any sense"I stammered on underneath my breath. Carlisle stared, his brows furrowing slightly. I shivered.
"are you cold?"
"it's just the coke" Carlisle shrugged out of his jacket and put it around me, kissing my forehead sensitively.
"so Isabella" he used an oddly professional tone, "what made you come to Port Angeles?"
" I needed to check out a bookstore... what were you doing here?"
"I was protecting you Bella. Edward says only you could get into trouble in a town so small.... ..... I agree, only a person so innocent could attract such danger"
"How did you know I was in trouble? – Alice?" he fell silent, "you can trust me, you know"
"you're onto me – as you said. And you're way more observant than Edward had told me. I can't tell you. It would kill you, Bella. I will not be responsible for such an innocents death". I deliberated – the notion that he could only attack someone who knew he was a vampire was impossible. This was just an attempt to scare me off saying anything. We were silent for a long time.
"My children are ... gifted" I pressed him for more with my gaze. "Alice helped me to find you – she sees things that may occur in the future"
"so – is she - a witch?" he laughed, looking down at his plate.
"no, she just has a gift" I stared awkwardly at his coke.
"and Edward? Is he - gifted?" I asked trying to sound casual.
"Edward – has a very special gift. It allows him to hear the voices spoken in peoples minds..." I was silenced, completely.
"Bella.... Do you want me to take you home? Are you okay?" I took long moments for me to recover. He reached forward with his hands but restrained from touching my hands.
"will you just tell me what you are? I'll find out eventually" He looked at me wearily.
"Bella, It's best if you stay away from me. I will always protect you. Edward tells me that if there is anything in a ten-mile radius, it will invariably find you" He said in an oddly positive tone.
"It doesn't matter what you are, to me, Carlisle"
****************************************
"Carlisle" I said harshly. Carlisle almost swerved as he looked at me abruptly. I tried to compose my face that was twisted in anger. "If I'm such a danger magnet... There's no point in trying to stay away from me. I'll just hurt myself again and meet you at the hospital". He looked at me halfway in between wary and sad.
"I'm not going to try. I'm giving up. I don't – want, to break your heart Bella.I can't be with you, but I'll be beside you, until you move on". I looked at him, not sure how to react. I swallowed hard, he heard and stared. I wondered what my face looked like, because his wary face now was replaced with endless concern. After two silent minutes and continuous worried glances, I spoke.
"I know what you are"
He just stared, wide-eyed. I couldn't look at his face and see his caring eyes at this moment.
"Go ahead" he encouraged after he sighed quietly.
"Vampire" I said quietly. I looked at his pale face. His deep brown eyes like globes. "Bella..." Carlisle choked out. "I'm not afraid of you...." I said angry and in a strained tone, "I'm only afraid of what I'm going to feel if you leave me". I looked at him softly. He sighed, relieved. He pulled over on the side of the rode.
"My family and I are different from other vampires, we take only the blood of animals"
" I wouldn't care – if you did – you won't hurt me" Carlisle sighed again and shook his head. I undid my seatbelt and leant over to kiss his forehead as softly as he had kissed mine. I tried to press my lips to Carlisle's, he placed his fingers in between our lips. "your heart beat is too fast... are you okay?" I moved his fingers and pressed my lips to his. My lips burned with the freezing cold, my blood burned through every vein, my stomach did summersaults and the hole in my chest died and I no longer missed the part of me which Carlisle had taken away from me. I pulled away, only to kiss him again as I moved to kneel on his seat. I sucked at his juicy, burning lips and was delivered a concentrated shot of Carlisle. I leaned away after. His face was still worried and twisted in pity. "ah, I suppose... just out of curiousity... how can you come out in the sunlight?"
"We don't burst out in flames. That's a myth"
"ah, sleeping in coffins?"he sighed, "vampires don't sleep at all Bella" after a minute he sighed and said, "Bella, you really don't care about this? Do you want me to go away? Are your afraid?". My brows knitted together and traitor tears had brimmed and fell down my cheeks. Thinking about being in the darkness without Carlisle and that ripping gaping hole that was left behind. He softly wiped the tears away from my eyes. "Bella" he whispered.
After I composed myself. "hey, what does your family think about us being together?"
"they think a relationship would be... healthy, for me"
"ur, you haven't been in a relationship in a while?" I said slowly and groggily.
"no, they think I should take pity on the lonely teenager. I don't think it's right... I feel I am taking advantage of your youth" Carlisle said shaking his head with a contorted expression.
he started the car and drove on. I stared at him, half-scowling and half in awe of his beauty. We arrived at Charlies house in silence. I opened the door ready to give the cold shoulder to what I'd gathered sensitive doctor. I opened the car door. "Bella" he tugged my hand softly, it sent a wave of crushing anxiety for whence I would return to a an incomplete world without Carlisle, "will you be okay tonight?" I didn't say anything, I refrained from wrapping my arms around myself and crying. "I want to know whether you'll be safe tonight"
I looked at Carlisle, traitor tears brimming in my eyes "it hurts me to be away from you" I turned my head shakily and forced myself out the car. Before I could take a step Carlisle was in front of me. "this is wrong. I won't take your life. You have to forget me, I'm sure you'll move on and be in love, with someone human" and... in no way was a prepared for this talk. Those traitorous tears escaped and more came and streamed down my face. "no" an air of panic and absolute desperation settled heavily upon me. A hysterical kind. "no, why, what are you, no! No, I can't, how could, no, no" I stuttered in between shaking my head in absolute desperation. "you can't leave me, we can't be apart" I didn't hear him but he had been softly hushing me all this time and he had walked right up to me – a foot away from touching. "It's one thing for a teenager to be lonely, but another thing entirely for a them to go through this ... this is affecting your mental health"
"Carlisle...... I can't live without you" I said softly, trying once more to shake off the desperation. I started crying again, I tried to be quiet, futilely, "I - I'm sorry" I wailed. His eyes widened and then softened.
"My life is dangerous, Bella. I don't want that life for you. You don't want to go through all that pain, Bella"
"I don't care what you are, I have to be with you." His eyes widened again. He shut his eyes after a few moments and sighed. "will you be okay for tonight?"
I shook my head and ran inside, begging that he wouldn't follow me.
*************************************
"Bella?" charlie called, "did you girls have fun?"
"Yeah - "
"who's car was it that I heard Bella?" he said taking the feeling of a fatherly threat, "you're home too early"
"ah", I opened and closed my mouth, "I ran into Carlisle – he drove me home". Charlie sighed heavily.
"why don't you like one of the boys in town? Why him?"
I opened and closed my mouth. My head was spinning and breath came short. I had to be quick I knew what was to come. "Dad, I'm an adult now"
"he's ten years older than you Bella"
"I know. But I can't choose – who I like" I said trying on the whole relationship talk with Charlie. He shook his head. He stared at me for a while. "are you all right?" he sounded concerned. Charlies eyes bulged slightly and his face went red after he looked me over. "bella, here's the thing. With an older man – they might want . before your ready. I just want you to know that you don't have to do anything that you don't want to. If he forces you" I stared at him, I wondered what my face looked like.
I just stared at him till he shifted uncomfortably in the hallway. I siddled around him and got the phone, leaving him to stare after me.
All the physical affects of my loneliness had returned. I clutched my chest and tried my best not to wince. I wondered again – what my face must have looked like, because Charlie was still standing – frozen in the hall. The tears brimmed over and my head was thick with the painful words Carlisle had said – I didnt' know why he said the things he had. It went through my mind that I was just a pesky teenager to him – or just something he could take advantage of, vampires in the legends were also said to be very sensual. I shook the thoughts away and decided to call Jessica. I needed my jacket back for tomorrow if I was going to go through another cold and empty day without Carlisle Cullen. My dad sat down on the opposite side of the table trying to calm himself.
"hello?" I asked breathlessly.
"Bella?"
"hey Jess. I left my jacket in your car – could you bring it to me tomorrow?"
"sure. But what happened with you and Dr Cullen? He's not like a – sleazy old guy – is he?"
"no – he – he doesn't want to be with me. I. Can't say I blame him. For it. I mean – I am as old as his son" I said.
"oh..... ........ I guess I'll see you tomorrow Bella"
"bye"
"Bella – did he hurt you?"
"dad – just"
I walked upstairs slower that I wanted to, a different side effect began to stir me and I groaned inwardly. A heavy stupor was clouding my mind. I went through all the motions of getting ready for bed without paying any attention to him. It wasn't until I was in the shower till I realised that I had the prolonging cold burns Carlisle's touch had given me – burnt into my skin – smoldering. The warm water did nothing to help the burn – when it was through the clothes it was nowhere near as bad – but the time my mouth and hands burned with all that was Carlisle.
I stumbled out, wrapping myself securely in a towel, trying to hold the heat in. I let myself go and sulked. My mind swirled dizzily, full of images I couldn't understand, and some I fought to repress.
About three things I was absolutely positive. First, Dr Cullen was a vampire. Second, there was a part of him – and I didn't know how potent that part might be – that was a possible danger to my life. And third, I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with Dr Carlisle Cullen.