So, this is kind of a filler. Kind of. And kind of not. But, at least I finally updated this shit, right? Haha. I've been really busy with school. I only have two weeks left! Enjoy! And as always… thanks for the support. ;)

Jem's heart began to race as he pulled up outside of her home, a gun in his left hand. His blue eyes scanned the sidewalk beside him, he squinted at shadows and reached for the gun on his passenger seat, his eyes looking in every possible direction. He had called Doug on his way to her house, putting Doug in route. He breathed in and tapped the gun in his right hand lightly on the steering wheel, slightly shaking with anger and a small twinge of fear, not that he would ever admit it. He used a few fingers to open the latch on the door when Doug appeared outside of his window. Jem jumped and held the gun up, completely unaware. Doug jumped back and held his hands up. "Fuck," Jem cursed, dropping the gun as he looked around again. "Tha fuck is with ya, Doug? Ya know how fuckin' trigger happy I am."

"I saw ya pull up an' was waitin' a second. I ain't seen anybody out here. We should go in an' check on her." They both looked up at the house, all of the lights were off. Jem looked over at Doug and handed him the gun from his left hand. Doug gripped the gun tightly and motioned for Jem to walk first. They both walked up to the sidewalk in a single line, Doug scanning the streets as Jem opened the door.

"Jem?" Kate asked in a soft whisper. Jem side stepped his way into the house and looked up to find a silhouette of her body on the stairs. She ran down them almost immediately, flinging herself into his arms. He wrapped himself around her, holding onto the back of her head as he looked over the room to make sure everything was still in order. Doug slumped down onto the couch and rubbed the butt of the gun on the back of his head.

"You okay?" Jem asked, before tucking the gun into his holster on his belt loop. She nodded and looked up at him, her cheeks tear stained, and eyes red. "Anyone come in the house?"

"Not that I know of," she answered, her eyes darting around. Doug pulled the cord on a light next to the couch and nothing happened. He sighed loudly, rising to his feet to try the switch on the wall and sighed louder when he got the same result.

"We're gonna have ta call tha electric company," Doug stated, turning to look at Jem.

"Are you guys going to call Liam?" she asked looking over at Doug as he dialed the number to a friend who worked for the electric company. Jem shook his head.

"Gettin' him involved isn't a good idea, Kate," Jem answered, opening the door to let some street light in.

"He's my boyfriend, you know?" He set his jaw and nodded. She ran a quick finger under her eyes to catch any running make up, folded her arms and looked down at the floor.

"An' he'd also confront Fergie. He ain't exactly big on lettin' someone release tha hounds on him an' not doin' anythin' about it. I don't think your man understands that."

"So what am I supposed to do?" She looked over as Doug squinted his eyes at them and walked into her kitchen to avoid the potential blow up. He was starting to recognize the cues for their arguments.

"Well, ya can come stay with me if ya want, while they're here fixin' ya lines."

"Are you sure?" she asked, the cold from the outside blowing its way across her body. She shivered and pulled her arms even closer to her chest.

"You're gonna need heat on a night like tonight an' who knows how long it's gonna take." With a slight nod of her head she walked up the stairs and fumbled into her room to pack a small bag. Doug walked out of the kitchen and looked over at Jem, an eyebrow raised as he put his cell phone in his pocket.

"Tha fuck is she doin'?" Doug asked, walking over to sit on the couch again.

"Packin', she's gonna stay with me while they work. It's cold out." He nodded listening to him talk and fumbled with a stray thread on the couch, smoothing it out with his finger.

"That a good idea?" His eyes met Jem's through the faint orange glow from the outside lights. Jem shrugged and adjusted his track suit jacket. "'Cause she can stay with me, if necessary, I mean, are ya sure?"

"Of course I'm fuckin' sure," he answered, glowering over at Doug. Doug raised his hands up in defeat and nodded. The toxicity between the two was as corrosive as battery acid, but he just didn't have the energy to battle it out with Jem. All of Doug's thoughts were wrapped into thinking about the blonde laying in his bed naked and he didn't want to lose that thought on his way back home.

"A'right, ya got it. I am gonna head on outta here an' get back home." Jem nodded, watching him rise and head for the door. He patted Doug on the shoulder, turning to watch him disappear into the shadows of the streets.

"Come on, Kate, we're not goin' on a fuckin' vacation," he yelled, adjusting the gun on his side. He didn't like being a sitting duck. For all he knew the guys were all just waiting for Doug to leave before descending on them. It was making him anxious.

"Alright," she sighed, walking down the stairs, a stuffed duffel bag in her right hand. She had changed into an old Red Sox sweatshirt and sweatpants. Jem took the bag out of her hand and let air escape his mouth.

"Tha fuck did you put in here?" he asked, adjusting the weight in his hand.

"Just stuff."

"Uh-huh," he added, holding the door open a little wider for her. She walked out ahead of him and sat in his car as he locked up the front door. Her eyes tracked him, his wide yawn from the lack of sleep, the way he carried himself when he walked, his dress shirt almost unbuttoned to the middle of his chest. She imagined what it would be like to pull it off of him, to kiss him again… before she could finish the thought Jem slammed the driver's door shut and sat down in the seat.

His apartment was a lot worse than she remembered. Clothes littered the back of the couch, small plastic Ziploc bags were scattered among various surfaces and the floor, beer bottles were lined up in the windowsill and the coffee table. "Jesus, Jem, it smells like someone fucking died in here," Kate breathed, holding her hand over her nose and mouth. He walked down the length of the hallway, ignoring her as he placed her bag in a small spare bedroom that had been completely left alone. Jem always had an empty room for his sister and niece in case her current boyfriend ever got too crazy and they needed a place to stay. It had a small queen size bed with a dresser and tiny bathroom attached to it. The only clean place in the apartment. She followed him and walked into it, looking at a few small pictures on the wall. "How is Krista?" she asked, pointing at the tall, thin blonde in one of the pictures.

"She's alright. Got a kid now. A little girl. Been living with some guy down the road that works as a mechanic. She's the same old, ya know?" Kate nodded, remembering his younger sister, how brash she was. She wasn't one to let people talk down to her and Kate definitely knew who his sister had learned that from. Krista was a spitfire.

"Aw, that's sweet that you're an uncle, Jem," she cooed, turning to smile at him. He raised his eyebrows and nodded.

"Look it's four in the fuckin' mornin' an' I am tired. I'm not tryin' ta be an asshole, but I am goin' tha fuck ta bed. We can talk tomorrow," he stated through another yawn, unbuttoning the rest of his dress shirt. Kate nodded, following with her own jaw splitting yawn. "Night," he mumbled, closing the door behind him.

"Night," she replied pulling the blue quilt back. She tucked her body under the covers the best she could, laying her head down on the pillow. Without hesitation her mind began recalling on the times she had snuck into his apartment before, just to lay next to him. As rough as he was on the outside, he almost always turned to mush when they were snuggled up together. She longed to see that side of him again. Pulling the collar of her sweatshirt away from her neck she wondered what he would do if she tried to cuddle with him. "No," she breathed to herself, snuggling deeper into the bed. "I'm not gonna do that." The heater kicked on, causing her to jump a little. Even with the heat and the blankets, it still left a void next to her that she didn't want. Before re-thinking her decision she climbed out of bed and opened the door with a squeak. She braced herself for a slew of cuss words, asking her what she was doing and what not, but she smirked when she didn't hear a word. She stopped just short of the couch when her brain finally reminded her of what exactly she was doing. Morals finally came to light… she was about to walk into the room of her ex-boyfriend who she still had feelings for, even though she had a boyfriend that loved her dearly. Running a quick hand through her hair she sighed deeply. Her body was longing to be next to his. She wanted to smell the cigarettes on his skin, the alcohol on his breath, and feel the scratching of his goatee when he kissed her. She knew it wasn't right, but she didn't want to fight it anymore. Pushing the thoughts back she walked through the living room to his door and knocked silently. She could hear him grunt on the other side of the door. With a long exhale she turned the knob, pushing the door open. He was on his back, shirtless, his sheets just covering his lower body, hands behind his head. It took a lot of grace to walk through the mounds of junk on the floor. Kate slowly dropped down next to him in the bed, causing him to stir.

"Tha fuck are ya doin'?" he mumbled, rubbing his face as she pulled the covers over her.

"Thought it would be just like old times," she whispered, turning on her side to face him. He shook his head and rubbed his eyes.

"I ain't in tha mood ta deal with this right now. Did ya just forget tha conversation we had before ya left tha bar?" She put a hand over his mouth.

"Can we just pretend for right now?" she asked as he rolled onto his side to look at her. His eyes looked over her face. Thoughts began to cloud his mind. He started to think of the consequences of what would happen if he did and all of the nights he spent wishing he could have had her. The urges piled themselves up, he finally reached out and ran his hand along her hip over the sweatshirt. She smiled, placing her hand on his chest. Jem used little to no effort to pull Kate closer, wrapping his arm around her. Her smile grew in width as she breathed him in, burying her face in his bare chest. The smell was just as she had remembered it. His arms bulged as they cradled her against him, his face buried in her hair. She scratched his back lightly, causing him to sigh. He kissed her forehead and squeezed her slightly. Kate leaned her head away for a second to look at him, smiling.

"What?" he whispered, pushing her hair out of her face, his fingertips brushing against her forehead.

"I missed this," she breathed back, cupping his jaw. His lips formed a smile. Kate's eyes followed the form of it, causing a deep pit to manifest in her stomach. Butterflies danced along her ribcage, her hand ran along the length of his neck, squeezing his shoulder. He breathed in a little faster as his hand found its way to her lower back. He cocked his head in closer to hers, bringing his mouth closer and closer. When their lips met the world faded away. All that was in the past was brought back to the future. His hands searched their way under her shirt, tugging at it as her lips pressed against his. He rolled on top of her and pulled it off, pushing his tongue into her mouth. She parted her mouth, running her tongue against his. His hips grinded into hers as she tugged off her extra shirt, pulling him back down to feel his mouth. They explored each other's bodies and mouths. Their hands touching any free space. Jem's tongue and lips touched her neck in the same familiar pattern, his hands squeezing her hips. Her fingers found their place entangled in his hair. A grunt escaped him when her legs wrapped around him. Without another hesitation he pulled her sweatpants off with his boxers.

The next morning Kate woke up with her head on Jem's shoulder, her leg thrown over his. She smiled and kissed his shoulder, Jem opened his eyes when he felt her causing him to smirk. "Mornin'," he grumbled, scratching her back.

"Morning," she yawned back, stretching out her arm. He ran a hand through her hair and looked outside, the sun blazing.

"So, about this…" he started, remembering the consequences of their actions.

"What about it?" she asked, raising to her feet, pulling her clothes back on.

"Ya know Liam ain't gonna be exactly pleased." She shrugged and pulled her into a bun.

"Who says he has to know?"

"Ah, so it's gonna be like that?" he asked as she shuffled a few piles of junk together on the floor with her foot.

"You have any better ideas?" She stood before him next to his bed and looked down at him. He flicked the sheet back off of himself, pulling his boxers on after he found them at the foot of the bed.

"Nah, not really," Jem answered. He felt defeated. He thought she was finally his again. With a large amount of effort he brought himself to walk by her without touching her. He stumbled into the kitchen and pulled out a beer, chugging almost the entire bottle. She stood in the doorway, watching him. He was upset to be taken that way by her. She always found some way to crawl back into his heart, regardless of whether he wanted her in there or not. Kate walked past him and maneuvered herself into the chair at the table.

"Look, Jem," she folded her arms and adjusted herself in the seat. She had no idea what to say. "You know I still have feelings for you, but I love Liam, too."

"Yeah, I got all that when I was fuckin' ya last night." She rolled her eyes and looked at him. Same old Jem.

"I'm not sure what I want right now." He sat the beer down on the counter and held himself up on the refrigerator.

"Tha fuck does that mean?" Her shoulders shrugged. "I'm so tired of this mind fuckin' head game bullshit. I really fuckin' am. Ya want ta be with me, ya don't want ta be with me, ya hate my fuckin' guts, ya love me. I'm sick of your damn shit." She watched the fury build in his eyes. The dragon had been unleashed.

"I don't want to leave Liam, Jem, but I do love you, too."

"It don't fuckin' work that way, Kate," he stated, feeling his heart break. Jem didn't share. That wasn't in his nature. He was going to have it all.

"For now it has to."

"Nah, it really doesn't." She sighed and stared out of the kitchen window, trying to imagine herself in another place.

"Jem, do you love me?" He looked into her eyes while trying to find the words to say. He had never been able to see himself with anyone else. With a heavy heart he closed his eyes, remembering all of the times he had said it to her before. It had always had a meaning with her.

"Yes," he answered quietly. When he reopened his eyes she was standing in front of her. Her hands on both sides of his face.

"Then don't make me choose." He placed his hands over hers and rubbed them with his thumbs. "I can't not love you, Jem."