Hi guys! Thank you so much for your kind reviews. They mean a lot. Sorry this chapter is shorter, but I'll have Chapter 11 done soon!

We reach the Capitol the next day. I stare out the window and watch the city approach. It looks almost the same as before the rebellion, except maybe with fewer buildings. Peeta stands with me, his hand still holding on to mine, having never let go since last night. I wasn't sure I was allowed to want Peeta to stay with me another night, but he climbed in right next to me before I could ask. The nightmares couldn't be repressed for two nights in row, though. I still feel guilty for waking Peeta with my thrashing and screaming. His hand was the only anchor I could find amongst the horror. I'm surprised there is any blood left in it after enduring my death grip.

Effie worked at me all through breakfast, coming up with new ideas to try and convince me to be the Mockingjay. Thankfully Peeta didn't join in. He has a way of making people see his side and I'm not immune to it. Greasy Sae eventually shut Effie up by commenting on her outfit, which I could tell was not something she ever did.

I bite the inside of my cheek, not wondering if the horrors of the Capitol will come back to haunt me, but rather wondering when. I fight back the image of Prim, beautiful Prim. Gone with the flames.

Peeta squeezes my hand. "It'll be okay, Katniss."

I look up at him. He seems taller than before. Or maybe I just feel smaller. I step to my left so that my shoulder is pressed against his. Maybe I'll absorb some of his courage. But I know I can only wish to ever be as brave as Peeta.

"Alright," Greasy Sae says from behind us, making me jump. "Sorry, Katniss. Didn't mean to scare ya, dear. Just wanted to let you know that Dr. Aurelius called. He'll be meeting us at the station."

I narrow my eyes. So they're still keeping up the check-up act. I sigh. Maybe since they know I won't give in to being the Mockingjay, they're going along with the lie they created to get me here. A few chats with Dr. Aurelius, a couple fake smiles, and I'll be going home. But Peeta won't, a dark recess of my mind reminds me. I look at his arm against mine. Strong, sturdy Peeta. Surely him staying in the Capitol was part of the lie. He'll be coming home with me. Unless I was right about them going along with the lie. Then that would mean Peeta really is staying in the Capitol. He'll be stuck there unless I agree to be the Mockingjay again. I squeeze my eyes shut at the sudden throbbing in my temple. This wouldn't be the first time Peeta will suffer because of my own selfishness. Because of my own irrational fear that becoming the Mockingjay will bring more pain than it will hope.

"I'll do it," I whisper quietly.

"Did you say something?" Peeta asks, switching his focus from the window to me.

"I said 'I'll do it.'" I feel something strange and twisted in my chest slowly unravel. The relief that comes with it is small, but significant. "I'll be the Mockingjay."

Peeta is silent for a long moment. There's pain in his eyes that I don't understand. "You don't have to do this, Katniss."

I nod. "Yes I do."

He sighs, closing his eyes. "Okay. Let's tell Effie."

I'm confused at his reaction. I thought he would be happy that I agreed. Hadn't he told me just the day before that Effie was right?

Of course, Effie is ecstatic. She's bouncing in her ridiculous high-heeled shoes. Haymitch gives my shoulder a squeeze, his face expressionless. I'm not sure if he's congratulating me or comforting me. There's a look in his eye that tells me he's about as excited as I am. Peeta remains quiet as Effie twitters on about how we'll need to find me a new stylist. I can't go around talking up the districts looking the way I do. Greasy Sae eventually guides me away from the incessant babble, giving Effie the excuse of needing to freshen me up for my arrival in the Capitol.

Sae sits next to me on my bed. "Are you sure you want to do this, Katniss?"
I nod. "There's nothing else left for me to do." And as I say this, I realize its truth. If I go back home now, I'll be comfortable, but miserable. If I stay, it'll be hard, but maybe it will do some good for the other districts. I have to try.

Sae pats my back. "You're a strong girl. Show them that." Then she leaves me alone to clean up.

I'm not surprised that Dr. Aurelius doesn't show up. Effie makes the excuse that he got caught up in an earlier appointment. I know better, but I don't call her out on it. They may have lied to me, but it was all in pursuit of helping the people of Panem. I know that now.

A few people do meet us, though. None of their faces are recognizable. I'm relieved to see that they wear normal clothes and that their skin is a natural shade. Given that we are in the Capitol, I had been preparing myself for rainbow hair and long, claw-like nails.

Peeta keeps a light hand on the small of my back as we're lead through the city. I'm grateful for it because the urge to turn around and run back to the train is tugging at my every nerve. Luckily, we are still in the outskirts of the city and President Palor's mansion, once belonging to Snow, is out of view. I know that once I'm back near the site of Prim's death, I will lose all control. And the grasp I do have on my sanity is already so weak.

Under Peeta's touch, I obediently follow our guides as we navigate the streets. Haymitch remains on my other side, sneaking looks at me every now and then. What is he watching for? My attempt to escape? A waterfall of tears? I try to ignore him.

We arrive at a tall, pinkish building. The pastel colored streets of the Capitol have yet to be stripped down and rebuilt. But I know they can't last forever. The sight of them must sicken the rebels as much as they sicken me.

Our guides unlock the padlocked front door and lead us inside. I enter a rainbow of a hall. The doors on either side of us are every hue of every color. And the hallway itself is an irritating yellow. I cringe against Peeta as one of our guides, I think his name is Tyrus, explains that this is the Visiting Center, where guests like ourselves stay. "The center of the city is being rebuilt," Tyrus says. "And since all our efforts are focused there, we haven't gotten to these outer buildings yet, so you'll have to excuse the... excessive décor."

I look up as we pass under a massive chandelier. The crystals hanging from it are in the shape of butterflies. The center is a giant flower. I almost gag. I turn around. I can't stay here. It's too much. It's too bright and colorful and too… Capitol. But Peeta's arm catches me and swings me back around. "Come on, Katniss. You're tougher than that."

I used to be, maybe. Now I'm just an empty shell of that girl who fought twice in the arena. But Peeta's arm across my waist is too strong to resist, so I allow him to continue dragging me toward a future I'm suddenly terrified to face.