Well I didn't expect to update this today. It's a little on the short side but it is here! I don't know why I find Roxiri so much easier to write than any other pairing - oh right - because it's awesome! Anyway, I won't bore you with my lame disclaimers. I don't even know why I bother writing these.

But I guess this can be my tiny Christmas gift to all my reviewers! Thanks so much for reading!

ENJOY (Merry Christmas)

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Chapter 3

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I told you to be patient
I told you to be fine
I told you to be balanced
I told you to be kind

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Popsicle Kairi takes over. My body stays in that same ridiculous shock mode as I watch him stalk back into the cafeteria. His hands are stuffed in his pockets and he's walking with that stupid strut that has my heart breaking with each step.

I don't give a crap. I don't fucking care. I don't.

The words can't translate smoothly in my own mind. They can't be applied or even said back to him. Maybe it's because I won't mean them. But I think it's really because my jaw feels like it's been screwed shut. And my teeth have been super glued together, while someone is sewing my lips together. No screw that, I couldn't even make a sound if I wanted to.

When the doors open and shut, I slowly feel my icy self melt. Painfully slow. I can feel my body shiver despite the warm room temperature. But then I quickly realize that I'm not shivering, I'm just shaking – really badly.

Maybe I'm going into shock. The room gets fuzzy and I can't register exactly where I am anymore. Is this real? Did this really just happen right now?

My breathing is shallow and I try to regain it evenly. Calm down Kairi. Seriously. This is no big deal. No big deal that the love of your life (bleh) rejected you and basically kicked you while you were already down.

I take a deep quivering breath and hold it in for five seconds. Breathe. In. Out.

I don't know how long I stood there in the hallway breathing like a person who was seconds away from drowning. I must look like an idiot. But that thought doesn't really faze me at this point. My body has stopped shaking and I'm convinced I've calmed down. Well until I start getting this sick feeling in my stomach.

I realize in my breathing fit that this must be real – imaginary life wouldn't hurt this much. My chest begins to tighten with this dull ache. That kind of pain that was similar to someone peeling a band-aid really slowly.

"Are you okay?"

My eyes quickly flit towards the source of the voice, alarmed. I recognize the voice and as soon as I see the familiar disarray of brown spikes I can feel the blood drain from my face. Sora.

Oh god could this day get any worse?

The brunette stares at me. He has that worried expression on his pretty little face, the face that looks so similar to his. I don't even try to bother the oncoming water works that were bound to pour from my unshed tears. His face is starting to look blurry anyway.

That's good. I don't have to look at his stupid face then. Or his stupid eyes that look like freaking clones of his brother's.

He steps closer to me and I'm so upset that I don't bother to tell him to get out of my personal space. I feel his hand, as he places it gently on my shoulder and gives it a squeeze. I don't back away, so he takes it as an invitation to place his other hand on my left shoulder as well.

My head feels like a ton of bricks – actually it feels like it's been hit by a ton of bricks.

"Hey, what's the matter?" his voice is soft and dripping with concern. It's smothering and suffocating.

"I-I just I…"

"Do you want to go home?" He asks kindly. For the first time in my life, I'm so convinced that he's not as big of an idiot as his brother.

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Sora drives me home in my own car, opting to walk back to pick up his Ducati (yeah, I know, he'd be the last person I expected to drive that kind of bike). He's silent; his dark brown brows pulled together as he taps his fingers against the steering wheel. The waterworks have calmed down considerably, and I'm just as silent – trying to subtly stare at him with puffy, red eyes. I quickly do a scan of his profile, trying to read his expression, since he has not said a word since he found me in the hallway. My eyes rake in his brooding face. It doesn't exactly suit the happy-go-lucky brother.

However, I grudgingly have to admit that the brunette is kind of sort of beautiful like his brother. Not Calvin Kline status, but maybe Banana Republic – you know, those shaggy haired beach models that are always holding surfboards?

I almost feel like laughing out loud at that thought. Almost, until I remember exactly where I'm at and who I'm with. It's not that Sora's the worst company ever it's just… okay well he is kind of the worst company ever. It's personal – entirely personal. If he wasn't such a lovesick idiot, who always sends me wounded puppy looks whenever I brush him off, maybe, just maybe he'd be okay to hang out with.

I freeze suddenly as that thought hits me. Did I look that pathetic to Roxas as well?

"What has my brother done this time?" Sora's voice sounds so loud in the quiet car, I nearly jump.

"Why do you assume it's him?" I ask petulantly, because Kairi, the lovesick idiot, would defend Roxas's honor… even if he is an asshole. Sora grips the steering wheel tightly and I realize he must think the same thing.

"Isn't it always?"

I'm silent. Because as much as I hate it, Sora does have a point.

"Why do you do this to yourself Kairi?" He asks. As if he knows me. It kind of pisses me off that Sora thinks he can talk to me this way. He has no idea – no clue the depth of my feelings. I don't respond – well I don't respond vocally, but glare outside the window and let out a string of curses inside my head instead. "This is Roxas. You must have known what you were getting yourself into. He's – "

"I know okay?" I mutter. I'm really not in the mood for a Sora lecture. For the first time in this ridiculously horrible day, luck is on my side because the car magically appears in my driveway. The brunette parks the car and turns the keys in the ignition, shutting the Toyota down.

I almost consider jumping out of the passenger seat but I wait until Sora makes the first move, because hello, this is my car… My parents' car, I mean. But he's just sitting there, keys in his hand as if waiting for me to make the first move.

"I know you know." Sora's voice is quiet, I almost don't hear it, despite the silence from the absent engine sound. "I just think you don't realize that… there are other choices for you out there. You don't need to be attached to my brother forever, just because you feel obligated to."

"I don't feel obligated." I love him.

"Kairi, Roxas is … selfish and reckless and –"

"What are you trying to say?" I snap.

Sora is silent for a moment. I know he's looking at me now, but I refuse to look at him. Because I'm pretty sure I'm going to start bawling my eyes out again.

"He's not going to change – not even for you. You realize that by now, don't you?"

His words hit me harder than I would have really liked them too. I know that – I knew that from the very beginning. I know that it's going to hurt and I'm going to be forever in pain if I choose this path, but despite all of that in the end it almost feels worth it. Roxas is worth it, even if he isn't really worth it.

"I'm not trying to change him." I murmur absently. I take a quick peek at Sora, only to find him shooting me a dubious glance.

"Maybe you should stop chasing something that's out of reach, and just look at what's right in front of you." He suggests. I can see a small flush appear on his tanned face and it doesn't serve to lighten my mood. I know what he's trying to do – to charm me. The Strife brothers were known for their irresistible charms. But I can't exactly look at the Banana Republic model without thinking of the Calvin Kline one.

And plus his words kind of piss me off. That's a pretty hypocritical statement, now that I think about it. How can he say that to me, when best friend number two is hopelessly in lust – er love – with him?

"I'll always be here for you." Sora continues.

"Maybe you should take your own advice." I say coolly, before picking the keys from his hands, and getting out of the car.

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My phone rings with a text message and I know it's him. I just know it is. This isn't usually the time he texts me. Roxas is a horrible texter – a selfish one. Those type of people who talk to you only when they want to. So the fact that this is an early text is a sign.

I look at my phone briefly. My fingers are itching to open the message and soak in each of his words, because that's what a pathetic sap like Kairi would do. I'm so tempted, but I refuse to. My pride is too big.

I toss my phone back on the nightstand, and roll back into bed. It's been like this for the past two hours.

At least the crying stopped.

And at least the idiot hasn't tried doing something stupid, like try to barge through my bedroom door.

I don't know if someone really hates me, or if I just have bad luck, because in the next second I can hear a commotion going on outside my bedroom. I hear his voice before the knocking on my door. He's fighting with my mother – or in his words he's trying to sweet talk her.

"She really doesn't want to see people today." I hear my mom deadpan, not putting much of a fight. I huff, suddenly annoyed with my mother's lack of consideration. I guess all the Lockhart woman are not immune to the Strife Charm.

"Of course she does, she's just being a little cow right now." He says back, stomping near the door. The next thing I hear is the persistent rap of his knuckles against my bedroom door. "Kairi, dear, open the door for Roxy please."

I bury my face in my pillow further, hoping to just melt right through the cotton pillow case.

"Please let me in. I know you're angry with me, but I want to talk to you before you melt into the linens!" He calls through the wooden door. I feel my face form a scowl against the pillow. He knows me too well.

"Go away!" I finally muster out. I sniffle against the sheets, hoping that my voice sounded too muffled for him to tell I was crying.

"Now there's no need to be rude!" He scoffs against the door. And I can just picture his mock- offended expression. It's enough to lift my lips into a small smile. And I hate it. I hate how easily this boy can flip my emotions over like fried eggs. I sniffle again, lifting my face from the ruined pillow, to glare at the door. It's quiet on the other end for a moment.

I wish he would have taken the hint and left, but I know better. He's just waiting for the right moment to –

"I brought red velvet cupcakes! I know you're probably ragging it -" I find the nearest shoe and chuck it at the door. "- And I know you're in desperate need for some sugary treats!"

His knocking becomes excessive to the point where I get fed up and stomp towards the door. I know he's doing that to get me to open the door. And what do you know, it works every freaking time. My hand turns the lock, wraps around the knob, and swings open the door.

He's there, leaning against the door frame looking like a freaking cupcake model. His lips stretch out into that adorable half smile, but it doesn't exactly reach his eyes. There isn't that mischievous twinkle in them… yet. I realize dryly that I probably look like a mess, and I'm scaring the crap out of him. I wipe my nose with end of my sweater and snatch the box of cupcakes.

"You're a week too early." I snap, turning around and walking back towards my bed. Hurriedly, I try to flip over the wet spot on my pillow before he notices. My attempt is futile because his eyes immediately glue to the pillow stain.

I look back at him nervously, and find that he looks incredibly uncomfortable. Well why wouldn't he be? That jerk, I snort in my head as I distract myself by opening the box. And I'm met with the sight of oddly shaped balls of red velvet. I frown at the cupcakes. I want to ask where he bought them, but I remain quiet. I'm not entirely okay with idea of welcoming him back with open arms.

I just want him to spit out what he's going to say and get out. But it's not like I have the guts to say that out loud. Chicken shit, remember?

Roxas coughs loudly, and takes a seat next to me. I stiffen instantly because, hello, he's in my direct proximity.

"I'm sorry." He mumbles out – rather lamely, I might add. He sighs and I risk peeking up at him. "I didn't mean to say what I said like that."

In other words, the idiot still meant them. I don't know what hurts more, the apology he's giving to the pathetic sap (a.k.a me), or the sincerity of his words. I clutch the box tightly in my hands. Suddenly the thought of eating these cupcakes makes me incredibly sick.

I don't say anything. I really can't. My words have dried up and my mouth feels like a barren wasteland of a dictionary. He continues on nonetheless.

"Sometimes I forget how harsh I can be," Roxas whispers out. "And how … fragile you are."

He finally looks down at me. His eyes are dark, looking like untarnished coals in a barbecue grill. It's a soft, gentle look he's giving me and it sends my heart aflutter. I'm reminded why exactly I love him, and why his brother was entirely wrong.

This is my Roxas. He's mine. A secret, I keep hidden in a small box that sits reverently on my bed post.

Well that's inside my head.

As reality goes, Kairi is being her stupid self, and just swooning.

His eyes narrow and they almost look pleading. There's this sort of desperation flickering between the specks of blue within his dark eyes. It's so strong I can feel my own heart hurting at his despair.

Don't hurt. I want to tell him. But that's stupid and somewhere in the back of my head, my rational self (which has currently been reduced to small portion of my actual mind) is telling me to stop being such a crying pile of mush. Sorry rational self, I'm checking you in to the insanity motel.

I can feel my already sore eyes well up with tears again, as he closes his eyes painfully before opening them up. I want to do something spontaneously loving, but he beats me to the punch. I can feel his fingers graze my cheek and I freeze up in an instant. They smell like cupcakes.

The smell and soft feeling of his slightly rough hands send my mind into a swirling, sluggish mess. The insanity motel has been destroyed by a brain corroding earthquake, leaving rational and the mushy self straggling to find safety. I dizzily realize that maybe this idiot baked the cupcakes himself.

"I don't want you to hate me." He breathes out. His voice is soft and matches ridiculously with the equally soft expression I've painted.

"I could never hate you." I croak. "Never."

It pains me how entirely honest that statement is. And with the way Roxas's face twists, makes it seem like he agrees as well. His hand moves away, and he's scoots over considerably. His eyebrows furrow, and it bothers me that I can't figure out what he's thinking.

I don't speak Roxas.

"You're the only person that's ever there for me." He mutters. "I don't want to lose you, okay?"

I don't exactly get to respond, because he's crushing me against him in a tight hug. I almost suffocate with the smell of axe, but I can't really complain. He's so warm and he's holding me, and I think I'm going to faint in a few seconds.

Well I don't exactly faint; I can feel myself falling back asleep. For the first time today, I feel safe. I don't know what's going on, but we're okay. Right?

My eyes glance up to meet his. He smiles back down, with that half smile of his. This moment feels so tender I almost want to burst out crying again. But then he does something that immediately shatters the moment. He leans down and quickly brushes his lips against my forehead. It feels cold and brisk. It feels dismissive.

It feels like a rejection.

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I wake up the next morning alone. It's a silly hope to think he would still be here with me. I knew that he would let me down again.

I was rejected a second time, except this time it feels incredibly worse than being snubbed by him the day before. A piece of me has been stolen away, and I know I can't get it back.

I realize that maybe, just maybe, it's finally time to move on.

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Again, poor Kairi? :(

Thanks for reading! Reviews are love! :)