Hello! I am so extremely sorry for the wait, I really wish i had updated sooner, but it has literally been impossible. I was in a psychiactric hospital through September and October and from then on i was just focusing on catching up with all my schoolwork and GCSE's and getting back on track with my life, but i'm back now. It's kind of really depressing but thats the mood i'm in and my mood affects my writing, as you can tell whenever i feel depressed i update this fic, but still, i hope you like this late Christmas pressent!


Draco had no idea where he was going. His brain was not thinking, his legs were just running. His chest, feet and head hurt, He had been running for at least fifteen minutes so he knew he had long ago left the castle grounds.

Draco slowed his pace and bent over, trying to catch his breath. Slowly he raised his head and observed his surroundings. It was dark, very dark. The stars and moon were hidden by a thick layer of cloud and Draco could see almost nothing. He grabbed for his wand and muttered "Lumos." The area around him lit up with a pale glow. Looking around once more Draco recognised this place as the very outskirts of Hogsmeade. He had been here once before, the first time he ran away from Hogwarts.

It had been in his first year, he had been falling behind in charms for some time and professor Flitwick had finally worked up the courage to owl his father. Draco knew his father considered charms a soft subject, one not worthy of learning, but he also knew his father would take this as an opportunity to beat him senseless. Fear had overcome the young Draco and he ran out of the castle, out of the grounds and away from the school. Just like today he had kept running till he had gotten here, this is where Dumbledore found him brought him back to school. Of course he should have known there was an alarm system in place for when unauthorised students left the grounds but it hadn't worried him as he ran. As Dumbledore led him back he had bombarded Draco with questions. Draco refused to answer them out of shame and just stalked silently with the headmaster, pretending he was being defiant. Of course, when his father found out, the beating was worse than ever before and Draco had barely been able to move for a week.

Is that what he was doing now? Running away? Yes, he was running away once again out of shame and fear. He was weak and he knew it, but he couldn't go back to Hogwarts, not now that Severus knew what was happening. How disappointed must he be with Draco for using that type of behaviour? Draco knew this was an irrational thought, especially after seeing Severus's scars, but he could not stop his thoughts. Draco also knew that going back would mean talking about what's happening and opening up to Severus. He couldn't go back, he had no where to go anymore. Why has no one come for him? Surely the alarms had rung and they knew he was no longer on Hogwarts grounds. That's when it struck him, no one was coming because no one cared. He really was truly alone in the world.

Draco threw himself to the ground in despair, tears of frustration, anger and pain ran down his face. Then it clicked in his brain, he didn't have to feel like this, for once he had the power, the power to make all the pain, hurt and suffering he was feeling go away. He wiped the away fiercely, "What's the fucking point!" He screamed loudly into the night. He reached down into his robe pocket and pulled out his knife.

"Weak." Draco whispered quietly before plunging the knife into his left thigh.

"Worthless," right thigh.

"Undeserving," deep slit across the right wrist.

"This one's for you father," left wrist.

Draco sighed "What's the point?" It was barely a whisper. He lifted the knife in front of him and pointed towards his chest and plunged the knife towards it.

"NO DRACO, STOP!"

Draco's hand faltered for a second causing the knife to turn downward and embed into his stomach. He gasped in shock and pain.

"Draco!" He felt a hand take his. He turned toward the voice.

Severus. He was crouched beside him, studying all his wounds "Draco," He whispered, shock all over his face and fear in his eyes, "what have you done?"

"I'm sorry sir, I'm sorry for being to weak to keep fighting, but I have been fighting for so long, so so long, I just can't anymore." Draco squeezed Severus's hand. He could feel his blood running down his arms and legs, drenching his clothes and then a sharp pain in his stomach. He lifted his eyes to Severus's other hand which held the knife. He quickly dropped it and applied pressure to the wound.

"Just hold on Draco, I know you can do it. You're not weak, you are strong, ever so strong, you just have to believe in yourself."

Draco smiled sadly at Severus and shook his head.

"No more fighting, I'm done now" he whispered calmly, he shut his eyes and let the darkness consume him.

"No, don't you BLOODY dare! DRACO MALFOY, OPEN YOUR EYES AND STAY AWAKE! FOR GODS SAKE, DRACO!" Draco could feel Severus shaking his almost completely limp body. Draco let out a small, almost silent groan. His mind began spinning wildly and then, nothing.


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