Doo, doo, doo, this update is kind of late. :/. I hate late updates. I really do. Me is sleepy. It's approximately 1:20-ish right now (in the morning).

It's kind of funny that when I have nothing to do, the inspiration to write is not there, but when I'm pressed for time and have a shitload of homework to do, I manage to gain inspiration. What's up with that! Anyway, this chapter is regular length (yay!). And... and a lot of stuff happens. A lot of not PG things happen :O

Yeah, well... I didn't proofread (is lazy) so apologies for any typos, grammatical errors, and spelling things that are wrong and stuff.

Enjoy!

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Chapter 5:

Come on skinny love what happened here?
Suckle on the hope in lite brassiere

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The day of the party comes more quickly than I want it to. It's been a week of Sora following me around like a little puppy. It's been a week of the same bullshit with Roxas. And it's also been a week of not speaking to Naminé. I can't exactly say that I don't expect this kind of treatment from my best friend (both of them, actually), but it still hurts. I feel incredibly alone in this whole situation, as if both of them had turned their backs on me.

It just makes my situation more – well – fucked.

It's not fair. It really isn't. I can't win with either of them. Naminé, despite her feelings for Sora, should've understood my predicament. She should've understood there really wasn't any other choice. I mean, shouldn't a best friend understand? And Roxas… well he was a whole different story.

I sigh, playing with the keys in my hand, as I sit in my car parked in the Strifes' driveway. I've been sitting here for a good ten minutes, staring at the garage door. I don't know why I can't muster up enough strength to open the car door and go outside. But I do have a slight inkling that it's because I know he lives here. Well duh! The sight of this house just seems to dampen my spirits. Because I'm not going to see him here (he's probably already at the party). Because I'm going with the other brother. Because I'm in love with the Calvin Kline model.

I let out something akin to a groan, and slam my palms against the steering wheel. However, that whole vehicle-part-beating-up doesn't exactly go smoothly, my palms slip and accidentally hit the horn. The loud beep resounds throughout the slightly empty area and I curse a storm at my stupidity.

And to my utter disdain, the front door opens revealing a very excited looking brunette.

Well there goes another ten minutes of sitting in the car, peacefully.

"Hey, Kairi! You're here early." He comments, as he holds open the car door for me… as if I couldn't do it myself. I hold back the scowl that I can feel forming on my face, as I hop out. You would think that he would be the one picking me up because that's the natural thing a boy would do on a date… BUT THIS ISN'T A DATE.

I shrug my shoulders as a response, as he eyes me up and down. It kind of annoys me, which isn't the normal reaction a girl would feel when a Banana Republic model is checking you out. It's not like there really is anything for him to check out. I went for the casual (borderline conservative, Christian girl) look.

"You look beautiful." Sora breathes out. I study his face for any sign of insincerity. And oh god he was telling the truth! I nearly blush. Because it's rather sweet, and it's endearing to know his vocabulary is broader than hot.

"Thanks." I mumble. Great, now I think I may be swooning, just a little bit. Come on! What kind of girl wouldn't be swooning? "Shall we, um, go?"

Sora's lips widen into a goofy grin. "Yeah, let's go."

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The walk to the party doesn't take long. We barely take a few steps, until I hear the band blasting through the amps down the street. The music seems to excite the brunette beside me. He keeps jumping in his step. Finally after a few minutes, he boldly grabs my hand and drags me to the house.

It's a mess. Toilet paper is strewn across the tree in the front yard. I can see that the potheads have braved the cold temperature and continue smoking their pot diligently. Beer cans litter the lawn; I have to kick a few from the walkway.

And despite all of this it seems as if this was heaven to Sora – the smile hasn't faded away from his face. He tugs me and breaks into a run towards the open front door. Pretty stupid to keep the door open, it's freezing cold outside. But once we get inside, I can understand why the idiots left the door open. It's sticky and humid in the room. Sweat and booze immediately fill my nose. It makes me dizzy for a second, but Sora's hand steadies me.

He pulls me towards the band who are rocking out fiercely. The lead singer howls into the microphone, whipping his long red hair. His eyes wink towards the sandy haired boy on the guitar. And okay, it is sort of sexy. In a non-stalkerish fan girl way.

"These guys are good." Sora yells into my ear over the loud music, and screaming girls. I nod my head in response.

All the while Sora doesn't let go of my hand. Surprisingly I haven't let go of his. I don't know why. It's not like I like him like that (god how many times did I say like in that sentence?). Because I know I don't. But I feel this strange sense of relief, clutching onto his hand, as we both smile and cheer on the band.

He feels safe. Like I can't go wrong with him. He feels like the tightly packed harnesses that are on the new roller coasters.

I stare at him and his ridiculously happy face, his dopey smiles. It hits me. He's not like his brother at all. Not in the slightest. The way his fingers curl protectively around my own, I know, subconsciously that this boy would never hurt me. Not in the way his brother would – has. He's not unpredictable like Roxas. He's not the dinky little bar they have on the old roller coasters – the ones that offer no sense of safety for the riders.

And I realize that I would hurt him. Probably more so than Roxas hurt me.

And Naminé… I feel my eyes suddenly look away from the band, and begin searching the crowds of people. As if we were bound by some kind of weird telepathy, I see her and she sees me. The blonde is sitting on the couch, overlooking the spectators with a dubious expression. She's not enjoying herself. I come to the realization that it's probably because of me.

I feel my feet move towards the blonde, but Sora's hand stops me.

"Where are you going?" He yells. I point towards Naminé. His face drains of color. His expression falls and he's tugging me away from the band and people, into the nearest doorway. It's the kitchen.

"I – I can't really talk to her." Sora confesses at a lower voice, since the music is muffled. Okay, now I'm curious. "You see, the day I asked you to come to this party with me, she kind of – sort of – told me she liked me."

I blink. Okay, seriously what the hell?

First of all, she didn't say a thing to me.

Second, she doesn't even talk to anyone.

And third, what the hell!

She confessed? Holy crap, this just makes everything more – well – fucked. How the hell was I supposed to know that she did that? That makes what I did even douchier!

My eyes glance up at the brunette, who's looking away sheepishly.

"So you ask out her best friend? Sora you can't do that!" I spit out incredulously. I glance around the kitchen, looking for something, a pan, pot, spoon, anything, to bang him over the head with. Sora looks at me with shock and a little hurt.

"You were the one that said yes!" He throws back. It almost makes me double over. He's right. I was the idiot that said yes.

"I have to go talk to her." I mumble, before turning around and stalking out of the kitchen. The music blasts through my ears and people bump into me, as I make my way to the couch… except she's no longer there. Crap. Crap. Crap.

I'm getting desperate now and start pushing people around. Like, seriously get out of my way!

I'm winded and begin to become so oblivious to my surroundings that I barrel into someone. Their hand seize my shoulders to stop the impact. Large pale hands. I know who it is before I even have to look up.

Roxas Strife, in his entire damn, perfect Calvin Kline model glory, is staring down at me with a ghost of a smile. His black-like eyes scan my face with that heavy gaze. Dear god, am I melting now? This isn't the time to melt!

"Where are you running off to?" His voice is velvety and smooth and soft. Despite the loud music, I can hear it clearly, as if he were whispering it in my ear. I open my mouth to respond and then close it and then repeat the process a few times. His lips pull up into a patronizing smile. I know he's making fun of me, or on the verge of. Anger begins to seep through my body.

"Have you seen Naminé?" I ask sharply. One of his dark eyebrows cocks upwards at my sudden tone.

"I haven't." He answers, still staring at me like I have a third eye. I make a move to continue my trek but he stops in front of me. He tilts his head so that he's somewhat at eye level with me. "Dance with me."

"What?"

His eyes narrow and he gestures towards the band. "Those losers are done, now. Let's dance."

I vaguely hear the music that's pouring through my ears. I'm only half aware that the band is indeed finished with their performance and the DJ is taking over. The crowd has suddenly started swaying to the music and I'm caught in the middle, frozen stalk still under Roxas's penetrating gaze.

"Come on." He's seducing me and oh god it's working. I can feel myself move towards him, involuntarily mind you! His hands touch my waist and despite the thick layer of my jeans, I can feel a sense of heat erupt underneath that spot. His lips stretch into a wider smile as I fumble to keep up with him.

My face is beat red and I'm embarrassed beyond the point of release. Because I don't do this. Because I'm not the slut he usually dances with. Because I'm Kairi, the one who usually sits and glares at the idiot as he dances with a slut.

"We found Dove in a soapless place." He sings into my ear and I snort into the collar of his shirt. Oh, god that was unattractive.

"That's not how it goes." I admonish. He pulls me closer and presses his face against the side of my head.

"I wanted to ask," He mutters slowly, I can feel his hands move lower. And god, I'm not stopping him. "how are you doing?"

I feel myself frown at that question, I feel myself tense up, and I feel myself pulling away from the blonde, but he tightens his grip.

"No, no, don't go just yet." He scolds, tugging me so that I'm flush with his body. I swear if my body got any hotter I was going to explode. It feels awkward and incredibly too intimate for this dance. He's basically just hugging a limp noodle right now. "You don't have to say anything. I'll talk."

Okay… that sounds fair-ish.

"You and Sora huh?" He continues on, his hand creeping dangerously lower. I don't know exactly what he's trying to do. But he's literally got me on the tip of his finger. "Didn't expect that from you." His hands lower at the tip of my back pockets. And I'm anticipating something. What? Him touching my ass like all those other skanks? Ew, no thanks.

It's gross and degrading and – oh god!

His hands curl into my pockets and literally drag me back towards him. I can feel the corner of his lip pull up against my face. His breath is hot against my cheek. His tongue is dancing dangerously closer towards my ear as he talks.

"I don't like it." He hisses, moving his face lower and squeezing his hand against… geez I'm so embarrassed I can't even finish that statement. It shouldn't feel this good, it really shouldn't. But it does, oh, it really does! My stomach is doing somersaults and a very pleasant heat wave is traveling down my body.

I feel his nose first against my neck, as he nuzzles closer. "I really, really don't like it."

His voice is quivering and it matches my frame. I'm shaking like a leaf, feeling like I'll collapse any second. Shivering, even, despite the incredible sense of warmth.

And then I feel his lips brush against my neck. It's soft and barely there, but my senses are heightened and I feel it as if he were biting me. Biting… The thought sends another shiver down my spine. His lips are traveling. I can feel them part into two, leaving a slightly wet trail.

My hands (I barely notice them) are holding onto his shirt for dear life. I might die. Seriously. I can just go die now. His lips move towards my jaw and I know he's coming closer. I lick my lips excitedly, already expecting it. Expecting the inevitable.

He parts from my jaw, and I can feel him breathing against my lips. I inhale, hoping to memorize it, except something completely throws off the whole situation. I smell a hint of alcohol.

The smell throws me back into reality and out of swooning Kairi-land. There's booze and I'm at a party. A party in which I'm pretty sure a bunch of people are attending. Said of bunch of people, are probably watching me with one of the most desirable guys in school… Sora included in the said bunch of people.

He's literally centimeters away, when I push him back, his hands falling out from my pockets. He blinks at me, perplexed. I manage to summon up a glare because now I'm angry. Where was all this coming from? After rejecting me, not once, but twice, he has the – the balls to come up and molest me!

"What the hell!" I demand, wiping my neck from any evidence. But I can still feel the tingly sensation on the areas his lips touched. "Why are you doing this?"

Roxas remains quiet. His expression is quite serious for once. There isn't a trace of a smile anymore and he almost looks…hurt.

"Kairi-"

"No! You don't get to do that!" I practically shriek and ignore the angry comments I'm getting from the people dancing. "You don't get to hurt me and expect me to welcome you back with open arms. Get away from me. I'm not going to be with you whenever it's accommodating for you. And I don't care if – if you don't like seeing me with someone else! It's not for you to decide who I date or not. It's never been up to you."

"Are you kidding me-"

"Fuck off, seriously." I snap out, shooting him a disgusted glare. I don't give him another glance, as I walk away. I'm furious. Not so much at Roxas. Mostly at myself. How could I be so freaking weak? Where was all that strength I was talking about? What happened to moving on?

This certainly isn't moving on. If anything, I've taken ten steps back.

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I don't know what to do with myself at this party. I try looking for Naminé again, but it's futile. I know she's probably already left. I try looking for Roxas again, just so I can yell at him some more. Because really, this is all his fault.

When I can't find either of my best friends, I settle for my last resort: Sora. I find him awfully quickly. He's sitting outside on the backyard porch, beer can in his hand. He looks miserable. And I'm guilty all of a sudden.

When he sees me, he gives me a halfhearted smile. I take a seat next to him and wrap myself up in my coat.

"How was my brother?" Sora asks bitterly. Crap. How is it that I can manage to ruin three people's nights at the same time, oh four if I include myself.

"He's a jerk." I mumble.

Sora doesn't respond, but takes a swig of the can. "Did you find Naminé?"

I visibly droop. "No."

He takes another drink, before throwing the can out in the yard.

"Look, Kairi I know you don't really like me and I know I seem overbearing and obsessive," He says, shooting me a sad smile. "but believe me when I tell you, that I'm here for you, whether it be as a friend… or more."

I almost want to cry. I really do. It's sad, looking at him give me that pathetic grin. It saddens me to know that he never really stood a chance against his brother. He never really stood a chance in general. And it makes it worse because I know he realizes it too. I want to say something heartfelt back, at least a freaking thank you, but my mouth feels suddenly dry. Sora gives me a knowing look, before rising from his seat and holding out his hand.

"Come on, I'm sure Naminé is still here."

I take his hand and we both walk back inside the house. The party is still, surprisingly (and annoyingly) going on strong. We dodge the dancing people, scouting the area for any blonde girls. When we find none, we hit the empty hallways next.

"She's bound to be here somewhere." Sora reassures me. I hope he's right.

We both split up to check the numerous hallways that all lead back to the same place. He takes the left and I take the right. I don't have to go very far because in the next second I see the blonde girl. Roxas is with her. A sense of relief hits me because I know she's okay and hasn't done anything stupid.

That sense of relief is short lived, however, because in the next second the girl tilts her head up and kisses Roxas fiercely. Her arms wrap around his neck, as her hands run through his hair. And he is certainly not pushing away either. He's kissing her just as harshly.

I feel indecent watching this and yet I can't tear my eyes away. This is unreal, it's absurd, it's impossible. I hear their moans and my world literally feels like it's crashing down. It's a betrayal. My best friends' betrayal. They've ganged up on me. I suppose it was only a matter of time.

"I would've never done that to you."

Her words run through my head. It's funny, how I never noticed her statement was past tense until now.

I've betrayed her trust, so Naminé was only doing that same back.

I hear footsteps behind me, and then hear Sora yelp a very loud: "What the hell?"

Both blondes break apart. Roxas stares at me straight in the eye. His lips pull into a small smirk. It's not noticeable to anyone but me, because Kairi, the pathetic little sap, knows practically all of his facial expressions.

Naminé, on the other hand, glances at me confusedly with unfocused eyes. Her gaze doesn't last very long, before her eyes roll to the back of her head and she tumbles down face first into the carpet floor.

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What do you reckon Kairi should do now? Cookies to who can guess what song they were dancing to! Hmmm... Cliffhangers do suck don't they? I'm debating whether doing the last five-ish chapters in Roxas's POV..but nah! LOL.

Anyway, reviews are loved ... a lot.