Ugh, I hate this chapter. But the ending was fun to write. But I still hate this chapter. It's in Roxas's POV again! Sorry, if anything in this chapter offends you. I was just - eh, are probably typos, grammatical and/or spelling errors. I didn't exactly proofread again (doyy).

Irrelevant News: Still Glee deprived. Ice Skating is painful. I kind of have this urge to place detonating bombs on my wannabe-Drama (student!) teacher's face. And Nutella is absolutely delicious.

enjoy.

.

.

Who will fight?

.

.

I sit up straight in my seat, directly knocking off what's-her-name from my lap. She lets out a nervous giggle, but I'm not even paying attention to her, not when Kairi's looking like that.

I swear the whole cafeteria quiets down, as she makes her entrance. Kairi makes no notice of this – or she does… I don't know! I don't understand what's going on. I can't – I can't even comprehend exactly what I'm seeing. Was this really Kairi Lockhart, or some skank?

Her red lips are tightly formed into a straight line of indifference. There's a wave of detachment, as she walks through the group of tables, her ankle boots thumping against the linoleum. Her usually straightened cherry hair falls down in messy waves. If it were any other situation, I would've made fun of her, said she had sex hair… a cold chill runs throughout my body, leaving a pool of doubt at that thought.

No. No way.

She stuffs her hands into her leather jacket, regarding the gaping people with a stony face. I realize, with a nauseous feeling, that the jacket she's sporting…isn't hers. It's too big, and nearly swallows the ridiculously short skirt that doesn't even pass as a skirt. Her legs stretch out beneath the hemline, looking even longer with the fishnets.

She swiftly passes me, yet it feels like it's all happening in slow motion. She barely even glances at me. Her are eyes smoky with the heavy eye shadow and I swear it's like looking at a ghost. Maybe I look like I've seen a ghost. Nothing in her expression gives away that she even knows who I am. It remains painfully blank.

Kairi walks by her group of friends as they stare at her with the same shocked and puzzled expression as mine. Everyone watches her, as she makes her way around more tables, and settle for standing before my brother. He looks as dumbfounded as I feel. His eyes dip down to take in her appearance, with a blush. The smirk that appears on her lips, stings the coils that I don't realize are forming in my chest.

"K-Kairi?" Sora sputters out. Her smirk widens and I – I don't even recognize her face. She doesn't respond, instead, she opts to plant herself on his lap. My brother instantly tenses, as do I, but for an entirely different reason. I probably look like a cat with bristling fur, as I glare in their direction.

Her smoky eyes narrow in a sultry way, as she regards Sora. And Sora, the idiot, is blushing like a schoolboy… well he is a schoolboy. Her hands wrap around his neck loosely, and it sends a ripple of annoyance throughout my body.

The urge to rip my brother's head off hits me stronger than I realize.

Her hands toy with the ends of his hair, and my stomach is sick. I want to throw up. No, I want to throw up on Sora, who still has that stupid expression on his face. Sometimes it's such an embarrassment to be related to him. The large cafeteria feels ridiculously hot and nauseating – humid. It's so hot I think I'm sweating.

The air around me tastes horrible. It's thick and suffocating. I can't breathe. My throat takes in deep lungful breaths of air, yet it feels like I'm breathing through a straw. I feel my eyes anxiously tear away from the redhead, to the surrounding onlookers. Their eyes are wide and intrigued. It pisses me off. For some inexplicable reason I feel violated.

Like their looking at something private. Looking at Kairi like this.

And then as if reading my thoughts, slowly, people start to avert their gaze to me.

For the first time in my life, this attention is freaking me out. I rise from my seat in an instant, noticing the way, Kairi scoffs into Sora's neck. I swallow thickly, ambling my way towards the exit. I know they eyes are on me, so I make a run for it, when I'm near the doors.

I cough out a huge breath once I hear the doors close behind me. What the hell? What the hell?

My hands reach upward to feel my face, before I slap my cheek. Maybe this is a dream – a nightmare, and Sora's going to bang on my bedroom door to wake me up. The images from that morning burn in my memory. Kairi's heartbroken face. The smell of her skin and hair. That was real.

If that was real… then this must be real. But I can't accept it. I can't acknowledge that. Can I?

Panic seeps through my veins. It's so tangible that I'm pretty sure if I cut myself, you'd be able to see the dread flowing out like poison.

My first instinct is to dial Naminé's number, but I don't do it. I don't think I have it in me to hear unanswered calls anymore. She made her choice and I made mine. And Kairi?

I don't know…

.

The rest of the day becomes a blur after that. It's like my mind still can't even process what I had just seen in the cafeteria. It's so distracting that I don't even pay attention to any of the girls who're flirting.

And Sora has a dopey expression on his face the rest of the day. As if he was some kind of special messiah. I don't know what I'm more sure of, the confusion I hold for Kairi or the angry jealousy that's building towards my brother.

I don't really know what to think of this change. I give it a week. Of this, bad-ass wannnabe slut get up. She wants my attention. But I'll be damned before I give it to her.

.

.

My assumptions are proven incorrect, when after a month, a whole month, rumors started spreading around like a wildfire and Kairi's sudden dramatic attire remains the same. In fact, it's nearing a month and week of these kinds of rumors. Kairi hooking up with so-and-so, Kairi at so-and-so's party.

Distractions aren't enough anymore. Especially after seeing Kairi riding on the back of some douchebag's motorcycle. The desire to confront her becomes ridiculously strong. But the promise to stay away is even stronger. She's just going through a phase, I try to tell myself.

I try to tell myself that she'll get over this. She'll move on and she'll completely forget about me. I don't know what hurts more, the shit she's pulling now, or the honest truth of the future I've painted out for her.

What would Naminé think?

Frustration floods my head as I think of the blonde. She left. She's gone, when I needed her the most. She's abandoned the both of us. What kind of friend does that? What kind of friend just up and leaves?

I feel myself unconsciously clutch phone in my pocket. My fingers are itching to call the blonde. Tell her what's going on. Ask her for advice. Have her here as a bridge to reach the redhead that's spiraling out of control.

To prove my point, I'm nearly knocked down, when Kairi bursts through the girls' restroom reeking of cigarettes. My suspicions are confirmed when I see a plume of smoke trailing after her. Her smoky eyes dart to me, face impassive as she studies me.

"K-" I start, but am interrupted when the fire drill resounds throughout the hallway. Immediately the sprinklers activate, drenching me in an instant. The bathroom doors burst open again and a group of girls that are known as the school druggies fall out. They're all laughing in amusement. That chill, that warning chill, makes me shiver and it has nothing to do with the cold water falling over me.

Kairi's makeup drips down her face, as she smiles back to the girls gesturing for them to follow her. The gang passes by me along with that disgustingly sweet stench of pot.

"Kairi!" I call out incredulously. "Kairi!"

The sound of classroom of people freaking out drowns out my yelling.

What the hell am I supposed to do now?

.

.

I don't stay at home. I'm restless. I need to burn off this energy. I need a distraction. Away, from Kairi and all the crap that I witnessed earlier today at school.

When I hear of a party down the street, it's an automatic reaction to go. It's a Roxas thing to do. So when I'm standing in my doorway, hesitating, it unnerves me. I'm never hesitant. I'm the reckless guy that does things without thinking. But…

Lately, I haven't been feeling like myself at all. In fact, I feel, just, worried. And Roxas never worries.

The cold, December air is biting, as I open the door. I'm thankful that the house is just down the street, or else I'd freeze….or ask for a ride. Immediately, ride associates with Kairi.

I shake my head, clearing my thoughts of the redhead. I do not want to think of her. This is the whole purpose of going out. Forgetting about her. Distractions. Girls. Booze.

I can feel the mask being set into place, as the house comes into view. I'm an actor preparing myself for the stage – the audience is waiting all. Kairi hated theater, I think absentmindedly.

Oh, great! Stop thinking idiot!

I zip up my sweater, burying my cold fingers into the front pockets. My mind is racing with questions, and most of them revolve around Kairi. Either way, I think it's inevitable to not think of her at this point.

I'm… at a loss with her. The way she looked at me during school – that emotionless look – is still burning in my head. What's wrong with her? Is she making a statement? Does she want attention?

The questions are nonstop. I get so aggravated at my lack of answers, that I kick the nearest beer can littering the house hosting the party. Momentarily, after the can clatters against the pavement, someone falls off the tree in the front yard, dragging yards of toilet paper down with them. When they hit the floor, a loud chuckle comes out of his mouth. I don't know why I get this sudden urge to kick them. Upon closer inspection, I realize that it's a guy, and that guy is my brother.

Sora giggles into the toilet paper, clutched into his right hand, as if it were the funniest thing ever.

"My bruzzahhhh!" He snorts, when he recognizes me. Maybe I should just kick him.

"Don't you have to work in the morning?" I question, prodding his shoulder with the tip of my shoe. He wriggles, like a worm, away from me. He's wasted, clearly. Which, I find… odd. Sora's never really one to drink. I'm one to drink. Sora's the good boy, the athletic one, the one that would never touch any substances that weren't prescribed by the doctor.

"Dunno, do I?" He slurs out stupidly, clutching onto my foot. I kick his hands off.

"Why were you up in a tree?" I stammer. Another round of chortling comes out of him. He sobers, gazing up at me with unfocused, glassy eyes.

"Kairi commands and I obey." He snickers back into his toilet paper. When I hear her name echoing from his lips, an irrational billow of rage forms in the pit of my stomach. It sounds wrong, coming out of his mouth. It's different. It sounds too comfortable. And it sets my skin in a boiling fury at the knowledge of my brother getting comfortable with her. I'm so tempted to kick him in the face.

If it were anyone else, I would have done it as soon as I heard Kairi's name.

I breathe heavily through my noise, barely noticing the cloud forming in the cold air.

"You should go home." I mutter. He mumbles something in response, but it sounds like, well, mumbling. I shake my head, turning to see if anyone is watching. And that's when I see her. I freeze in an instant as our eyes lock.

She's leaning against the porch beam, fishnet fitted legs, crossed over. Her smoky eyes are shining, the light of the cigarette, reflecting in those unnaturally dark eyes. Her hair is tousled mess. Sora's letterman is draped over her shoulders, one of her thin arms outstretched to hold her cigarette away. Her other arm is crossed protectively against her stomach, liquor bottle clutched in her left hand. A tight smile her deep red lipstick adorned mouth.

I don't say anything. I can't. I don't really know what to say. This stranger is just staring at me and I feel like I should know her. But I don't.

Kairi takes in a deep drag, flicking the cigarette and turning to go back inside. A frightening desperation tears at my insides. The coils form again, my lungs are constricting painfully.

Go after her! Talk to her!

My legs suddenly feel heavy, as if I were trying to slosh through waist-deep water. The walk to the doorway feels like an eternity. And when I finally reach the door, entering the jam-packed crowd, it really does seem like an eternity has passed. Kairi is nowhere to be found.

Panic shoots through my veins, as I search around the crowd. Already, a group of girls have already surrounded me, begging for a dance. But I don't say anything.

After a while, I give up my search. The music is loud, and the girls on my tail are getting annoying. Might as well dance with one. Immediately that girl from Government is there to fill in the spot. She backs up into me, pushing down into me. Her head tilts back to lean against my shoulder. I'm only half paying attention. My eyes are still peeled out for the redhead. But to my disappointment, the only thing I see is stupid couples having no consideration for personal space. In fact one of the couples nearly bumps into what's-her-face-and-I.

I ignore them, directing the girl to move aside with me. Government-girl does most of the dancing. I nod my head to the beat, feeling so out of it. It irritates me how much she's affecting me. How much I'm investing myself in her again. It's over. Whatever the fuck it was we had, it's over. But still… she's roaming around this house in that state…

I quickly shake my head. As much as I hate it, she was wearing Sora's jacket, which meant she came to this party with him. Surely, she wouldn't leave him in his drunken stupor. She would make sure he got home safe.

A chill resounds throughout my body, and similar to that day in the cafeteria, I get urge to find the source. When my eyes glance upwards, I see her again, leaning against the wall. Her eyes are glued to mine, as she takes a long drink from the clear liquor bottle.

I stop my dancing. I don't even realize when I move around Government-girl to make my way towards Kairi. The redhead sets the bottle down on the stand for the lamp, beside her. She lifts the jacket over her shoulder again. One of her dark eyebrows cocks upwards, as she regards me with glazed eyes.

My chest aches as I watch her give me that alluring look. That come hither look. I don't like it. I hate it. It hurts to look at. It's painful to watch. It's even more painful how readily I react to that look. I'm turned on, and it doesn't even feel good. I feel disgusted with myself.

When I stop in front of her, she leans up, mouth a hairsbreadth away from my ear.

"Come with me."

I follow her, as she leads me upstairs. She doesn't even wait for me, doesn't give me a second glance. But I continue to follow her anyway. The urge to talk to her is even stronger. I want to know what's going on in her head. I want to know. For the first time, in what feels like a long time, I want to be able to read her. But she's always been this white blank page to me.

Her fingers wrap around the first door she comes across – it's the bathroom. Well, that's not gross, I think, as I walk in after her. She turns, locks the door, and freezes me with that look again. Her red lips tilt into a smirk, as she maneuvers around me, and jumps on the sink.

"Kairi-" I start, but her lips suddenly cut me off. It's cold and I don't feel anything from her, as she kisses me furiously. It's all lust. And under normal circumstances, I would've loved to hook up with someone like this. Someone who just didn't care to have a one-night stand, in a bathroom, at a stupid party. But this… this is Kairi. Kairi Lockhart, tugging me closer to her and wrapping her legs around my waist. Kairi, my best friend, whispering uncharacteristically dirty things in my ear. Kairi fucking Lockhart, the love of my life, undoing my belt, and reaching for my zipper with the least amount of emotion.

The bathroom suddenly turns stuffy. My body overheats in a matter of seconds. I feel sick, like I'm about to upchuck everything. This isn't supposed to happen. Kairi isn't supposed to shove her tongue down my throat. She isn't supposed taste like cigarettes. She isn't supposed to be hooking up in the bathroom!

Kairi's not like this. She's annoyingly romantic. Irritatingly and adorably sweet. She's the girl a guy's supposed to go all out when they do it the first time. I should be like, leaving a rose petal trail to the bedroom. I should have worshipped her. I should've serenaded her like I know she secretly wanted. God, I'm so fucking stupid.

Her lips are on my neck, at this point. Her hands are tugging at my jeans again. It takes every fiber in my being to push away. Because, despite how much I hate this and how much it's making me sick, this is Kairi. Anything she does wouldn't make me love her any less. Every touch, every kiss, no matter how detached, is from her. It still derives from Kairi and I'll take what I can. But –

"Wait." I blurt out suddenly, stepping away, nearly tripping over my pants at my feet.

"What?" She sounds annoyed. I bend down, lifting my jeans and redoing the button. Her eyes narrow distastefully at my actions. I don't notice that somewhere, between all the kissing, she successfully pulled off her jacket. And that white tank top she's wearing leaves nothing to the imagination. I swallow thickly, bringing my eyes back to her face.

"I – I, let's talk first." I stammer, fixing my belt. Her lipstick is smudged, and I'm almost tempted to tell her but I doubt she'd listen either way. She shakes her head, reaching for my arm and pulling me back towards her.

"Let's not." She snaps, leaning forward, but I stop her.

"Wait." I mumble, as she watches me warily. Hesitantly, I reach up and wipe the lipstick off. Her eyes narrow dangerously; as I let my fingers linger on her face. I want to take off all the makeup she has on. I want to so badly, but I settle for keeping my hand on her face. Instinctively, I feel myself cupping her cheek.

A strange spell falls over us. This moment, regardless of how brief it is, feels tender. It almost feels like how it used to be, before everything turned bad. I feel my chest ache, in this masochistically painful delight. Everything is one centimeter short of perfect. And I'm okay with that. I'm okay; I'm fine because it's nearly perfect. My other hand reaches up, to push the hair that's fallen in her eyes. Then they trail back down to the other side of her face.

The coils in my stomach slowly unravel. The pain is easing away. The sickness is fading. Kairi's eyes are blank. They're blank, but not unfeeling. And I'm entirely convinced that things aren't bad as they seem. I hold her face in my hands reverently. As if she was breakable. As if one single move I make, will shatter her completely.

I don't realize it, not at first that I'm already too late. It isn't until I try to lean forward to press a soft kiss against her lips, and she roughly pushes me away.

"Don't do that!" She snarls, fury flickering through her eyes. It unsettles me, it freaks me out. Her eyes are flashing dangerously, murderously. And I'm left gaping at her flummoxed. "What is wrong with you?"

Her hands clench tightly against my shirt. She's shaking, and suddenly a wave of anger hits me.

"What the hell am I supposed to do, Kairi?" I ask incredulously. "You're not just anybody. I'm not – I'm not going to-"

"Fuck me, just fuck me. That's what you want, isn't it?" Her voice sounds so angry and furious, but her eyes revert back to being dead, in less than a second. She's looking at me, but she's not seeing me anymore.

I can't even see her anymore. She's a blank slate and I can't fucking see her anymore!

I feel my eyes sting as I watch her. She scoffs, jumping off the sink and throwing her jacket on. My face turns hot, as my vision blurs over. I know what's coming and I'm relieved that Kairi's not looking my way anymore.

"I'll find someone else then." She mutters, her boots thumping against the tile. "When did you turn into such a pussy?" She laughs, throwing the door open. The music pours in, but it sounds as if I were underwater. My hearing is muffled. My head is spinning. My chest feels like it's ripped in two. And my eyes are burning, as the thick, stupid tears finally roll down.

Once the door slams shut, I completely lose it.

She's already gone.

.

.

I'm drunk. Even I can safely say that. My room is spinning, and I have a hard time locating my bed. My hands fumble around the phone, dialing the first number I can think of.

My eyes are red and sore, as is my throat from cursing a storm on the way home. My mind is burned with the image of Kairi in the bathroom. She's a stranger. I hate her. She gives me an ugly feeling inside. The inside of my mouth still burns with the foreign taste of her cigarette smoke.

The phone rings, and to my gut wrenching dismay, the line goes directly to voicemail. Hearing the stupid beep makes me feel as if my whole world is crashing down on my shoulders. I don't have the strength anymore to hang up. I wail into the phone. I cry, I sob, I bawl everything out. My feelings, my thoughts, the event that transpired in the bathroom. My chest feels like it's caving in. There's an avalanche in the depths of my body and no one cares! No one!

All hope is fucking lost. It's lost in the avalanche that's tearing and wearing my body down.

My phone rings in the next two minutes. A miniscule flare of hope flickers in my chest. In my inebriated state, I answer it within the first ring.

"Please." I sob into the phone. "Please, I need you. Please."

I hear a thick gulp on the other line. She sounds serious and angry as she answers. But I can only hear the definite disappointment underlying her voice. She's ashamed, and I can hear it. The small ounce of hope shatters in that instance. The coiling in my stomach and chest spread throughout my whole body, recreating another avalanche. It's over. It's all over.

"What have you done, Roxas?" Naminé demands softly.

.

.

Yeah. That is all, for now. Reviews are as lovely as Dianna Agron (and that's infinitely lovely to me, considering I'm going to marry her!)

Fun fact: I was listening to "A Thousand Years" by Christina Perri (the most disgustingly romantic/sweet/sappy/belly-tickling/Twilight-fangirl inducing song ever) while writing this...that's some fucked up shit.