Chapter 2: Shame

"Hello, Bella." Carlisle entered the room with a warm smile and that look that said 'I pity you'. The one Bella knew she was going to have to get used to.

"Hi Carlisle" Bella responded as she looked away and busied herself trying to cover up. She knew that it was ridiculous, considering where Carlisle was going to be looking in a few moments, but Bella couldn't help herself. She noticed Rosalie quietly heading toward the door and panicked.

"Rose, will you please stay?" Bella sounded so alarmed and desperate to keep Rosalie in the room that it shocked everyone into silence and stillness for just a moment before Rose smiled and replied.

"Of course, Bella. Whatever you need."

"If it doesn't bother you, that is…you know."

"No, Bella, my story took place a long time ago. I will be fine. Are you sure you want me to stay? I could get Alice?"

"I'm sure."

"Did I hear my name? Hi Bells, you look much better, how are you feeling?" There was that same look filled with pity. Esme, Carlisle, Alice, and even Rosalie wore it. It made Bella feel sick. She was determined not to let her father find out. She couldn't stand it if he looked at her that way, too.

"I'm ok, Alice." She said before turning to Carlisle.

"Carlisle, I'm going to let you examine me, but there are some ground rules and they are non-negotiable. First, no police. Second, no one tells Charlie. My Dad doesn't need this and I can't stand the thought of him looking at me the way all of you are looking at me now. Third, tonight never gets mentioned again, please. Never. And I know the guys are listening downstairs and I want them sworn to secrecy, as well. No one knows. Ever. " Bella said all of this while staring at her lap, never looking up at Carlisle.

"Bella, of course no one needs to know anything you don't want them to know. You don't need to make any deal, ok? I would encourage you to go to the police to catch the criminals who hurt you, but it is up to you what you do. We are just here to make sure you are safe, right Carlisle?" It was Esme who answered for Carlisle.

"Of course, Bella. Now why don't I have a look at your head? Esme is fairly certain you will need stitches and you've already bled through her bandage, so she is probably right. Let's get the head wound taken care of and move from there, shall we?" He moved forward to take the bandage off and revealed the three inch gash that ran along her hairline at the top of her forehead. It took 12 stitches before he declared himself finished.

"Now, are there any cuts on your legs?"

"I don't know, I haven't looked"

"May I?" Carlisle asked. Bella nodded and grabbed Alice's hand on one side and Rosalie's on the other.

"Wait, are you guys oK?" She looked back and forth between them. Both nodded, obviously not breathing and unable to talk. "OK, Carlisle." He pulled Bella's dress up just high enough to avoid showing her anything too personal. He wanted to take things slowly. There on her thighs were two large gashes that were going to have to be stitched and six marks that looked like brands burned into her skin. He gasped before he could help himself and Bella noticed everyone's wide eyes. She looked down and up again quickly.

"I forgot about the ring and the lighter." She said softly. "Will they scar?"

"Thankfully they aren't burned very deeply, Bella. You will have scars for a time, but they will fade slowly until you won't be able to see them at all." She nodded. Alice hugged her gently and Bella stiffened at the comfort, though she didn't understand why.

It seemed like an eternity passed before Carlisle exclaimed that he was finished stitching and dressing the wounds. Bella knew what was next and she was terrified.

"Bella, I need to do an internal exam. You are still bleeding and I fear you have some internal injuries. I will do what I can here, I promise, but you may have to go to the hospital.

"NO!" Bella exclaimed in voice that shocked them all. "I WON'T go to the hospital. The authorities would get involved, my dad, NO!"

"OK, calm down. Let me take a look first, ok? This will be unpleasant and painful. Do you want a sedative, first?" Bella just shook her head. The thought of being sedated while a man was invading her again was horrifying. "I think it would be best if you lie on the desk, girls, could you clean it off, please?" He directed to Alice and Rosalie. "And Esme, could you get 3 clean sheets? Tear one into strips I can use to soak up any blood while I work and then stay close by?" She nodded and everyone busied about their task. It was Rosalie who approached her quietly.

"Bella, do you have any underwear on to remove?" She whispered as quietly as possible, though Bella was sure everyone in the house could still hear her, she appreciated the attempt at privacy. Bella shook her head, blushed brightly, and looked down at her shaking hands. Rosalie nodded, placed her hands on Bella's for a few seconds, and then finished the task at hand.

Esme spread one sheet on top of the desk and Alice helped Bella stand and walk slowly to desk where she sat and swung her legs up and a second sheet was spread over her from her waist down.

"OK, Bella, have you ever had a gynecological exam before?" She blushed nearly purple and shook her head.

"Normally they aren't that bad, but you likely have some tearing and some bruising and swelling to the area. Unfortunately, this is probably going to hurt a great deal and there is no way for me to really numb the area first. I apologize in advance. I will try to be as fast and as gentle as I can, I promise. Now I need you to slide all the way down to the end of the table. I'm going to ask you to pull your legs up and rest the bottoms of your feet on the edge of the desk while Esme and Rosalie each support a leg so you don't have to do anything but relax into their hands, ok? Alice will be talking to you the entire time I'm working, just look into her eyes and listen to her voice and it will be over before you know it. Did you understand all of that?" Bella merely nodded as everyone took their place.

As Esme grabbed one leg and Rosalie the other, Bella began to whimper in panic. Alice quickly stepped in, took both hands and leaned onto Bella so that she couldn't sit up.

"Look at me, Bella! What could be prettier to look at?' She giggled as Bella felt her dress go up over her knees and she started to cry out. "No, sshhhh, it's ok. It's just Carlisle, he will be quick and as painless as he can be. But, you have to let him do this. OK?" By this point, Bella wasn't listening. She was struggling but everyone held her steady as Carlisle took his instruments and entered her. There was an ear-splitting scream from Bella that made the guys downstairs jump and start to run up to her before Edward read Carlisle's mind and shook his head to stop them.

"Oh, Bella, it's almost over! Just a little while longer." But there was no coaxing or calming her. She screamed in both physical and emotional pain throughout the exam and treatment of the wounds and Carlisle tried hard to hurry but be thorough. Finally, she felt the instruments leave her body and her skirt go back down.

"Let me go, please let me go!" Everyone backed away as Bella jumped from the table, ran for the corner of the room, sat behind the small leather sofa, and began rocking herself back and forth. She was in more pain than when she got to the Cullen house and she was so scared. She rocked and rocked and no one could touch her. She heard a knock at the door and slid further behind the curved edged of the leather sofa in Carlisle's study, terrified of who would be at the door. It was Edward. She wondered what he wanted, he had never even liked her, did he come to gloat? He whispered something to Carlisle and it appeared that they were arguing, but finally Carlisle nodded.

"Hey, Bella. I hear you've been having a rough night." She looked up at him in astonishment. A 'rough night'? But he didn't have that look. The one of pity. He looked at her as he always had. She nodded at him.

"I imagine you would like a shower?" Again, she nodded. "Why don't you let Esme help you get into the shower and you will feel a great deal better, ok? I will even be your chariot down to Alice's bedroom. Would that be alright?" To everyone's astonishment, Bella slowly put her arm around Edward's shoulder and let him lift her very carefully from the floor.

"Esme, how about you go start that shower? Rosalie, why don't you go find Bella something comfortable to wear when she is finished? Carlisle, I trust the bandages are all waterproof?" Edward gently carried her to Alice's bathroom and placed her even more gently on the vanity chair Esme had placed near the bathtub.

"We guys will try to work on making you something to eat while the girls help you in here. Ladies, she's all yours!" Edward turned and left the room, still with no look of pity when Bella winced or whimpered in pain. She appreciated that more than she could ever tell him. He was the only one who knew what had happened that hadn't looked at her in THAT way. She had no idea why that made her trust him when the others hadn't been able to come near her but she hoped that hadn't hurt anyone's feelings.

"Carlisle recommended something baggy so I brought in a pair of my baggy sweatpants and one of Edward's t-shirts. I don't really have any baggy shirts and Esme and Alice are both smaller than you are." Rosalie hesitated for a moment before continuing. "I had a pair of brand new underwear, and I brought you one of Esme's sports bras. She is the closest to your size in that area. Is that all ok?" Bella nodded at her, wanting to relieve her nervousness.

"What, nothing from Emmett or Jasper?" She croaked out with a small smile.

"Not yet, but tomorrow, who knows?" Rose smiled back and left the clothing on the counter before leaving the room and closing the door behind her. Bella and Esme were left alone.

"How are you feeling?" Esme asked, "Do you feel like you can stand up in the shower? It is not a good idea to take a bath right now while the wounds are fresh so a shower only, ok?" Bella nodded mutely and slowly took off the ruined dress and threw it to the floor in disgust. Her body was a myriad of bruises forming in different sizes, shapes, and degrees of blue and purple. Esme stifled a gasp and looked away. "I will just stay close in case you need me for anything." Esme said as Bella nodded and closed the curtain around her.

Finally, at least a modicum of privacy. She hurt all over. She really did feel like a truck had run over her and backed up and run over her a few more times. The stitches pulled and she gently washed around them, making sure not to disrupt the bandages and get the ugly, black threads wet. She scrubbed her skin raw with water that ran as hot as she could stand it until it ran cold.

"Bella, honey, are you nearly finished? You should probably lie down to rest." Esme had been incredibly patient so Bella sighed and turned off the water. Esme handed her a fluffy towel and she gingerly dried herself off, everything beginning to ache or throb. She stepped out of the shower, wrapped in the towel, and Esme stood with the clothing.

"Do you need any help, dear, or do you think you can handle it by yourself? I can step out if you'd like." Bella looked panic-stricken as Esme offered to leave the room.

"No! Please don't leave me alone! I-I-I'm sorry…"

"No need to apologize, Bella. I understand. How about if I just turn around and give you some privacy. You can call me if you need any help, ok?" Bella nodded, a little embarrassed by her outburst. She felt like a child afraid of the dark.

"Um, Esme?" Bella asked after several moments of rustling clothing.

"Yes?"

"Could you help me with the bra and shirt? My back is killing me and I can't get my arms over my head." Esme turned to find a blushing Bella holding the clothing tightly to her chest.

"Of course, hon, I can do that much!" She smiled and walked behind Bella, much to Bella's relief. Bella handed her the bra and they managed to get that on with some difficulty. The shirt was much easier. It was Edward's gray t-shirt. The one from biology the day they'd actually spoken to each other for the first time.

"Would you like me to comb your hair? Maybe braid it back for you?" Esme asked. Bella nodded, relieved that she wouldn't have to deal with the long, tangled mess herself. She just didn't have the strength or energy for it. Esme worked quietly as she deftly combed out the tangled mess and then swiftly put it into one long braid down Bella's back.

"There, that should do it! Are you hungry? Edward went to the grocery store and picked up a few things he thought you might like. I'm sure he stocked the entire kitchen. Why don't we go downstairs and see?"

"I will try to eat since he went to all that trouble." Bella said, wincing at the thought of trying to choke down food. Just the thought made her feel like vomiting.

"Good, let's go. Do you need me to carry you or are you OK to walk?"

"If we go slowly, I think I can walk. It's the cuts on my thighs that hurt and I think they were trying to knock me out with a rock, which is how I got the cut on my forehead so I have a woozy type of headache." Bella replied.

"Of course, I will see if Carlisle has anything for a headache in his bag." Esme said as she let Bella lean into her and the two slowly made their way out of the bathroom. To their surprise, Edward was waiting outside the door.

"Your chariot awaits, Milady." He said with a mock bow. He noticed how the hot water had brought more of the bruises to the surface, but he very carefully kept his expression light and playful as he carefully picked Bella up, saw her wince, and adjusted her in his arms until the pained look went away.

"Shall we?" He asked, sensing that control was important to Bella right now. She nodded and blushed and Edward started out the door with her in his arms.

As she left the safety of the bathroom, heading into Alice's bedroom, she saw the processional waiting to see her. They were all lined up along the stairwell. Emmett, Jasper, Carlisle, Rosalie, and Alice all stood with that same pitying look on their faces. Bella hated that and without thinking, buried her face into Edward's chest to shut them out. Esme trailed behind and Alice fell in line behind her.

"You should be comfortable here for now, Bella. Emmett has a tray of food we would like you to try and eat. Food and fluids help stave off the shock, ok?"

"I will try, Bella said weakly, exhausted and anxious all at the same time. Emmett proudly produced a tray of pancakes, eggs, and bacon.

"I made it myself, Bella!" Emmett exclaimed. Bella knew because it was the only thing he could cook for her when she visited. But she didn't mind. She smiled at him and picked up a bite of pancake to make him feel as if he had contributed. It tasted like sawdust to her, but she chewed and smiled and she swallowed anyway, willing the bite to stay down.

Edward was hovering, looking strangely pained but he didn't look like he pitied her. There was something else in his eyes. Bella couldn't tell what it was, but she preferred it to the pity the others felt. She wasn't one to wallow in other's pity.

"Bella, would you like some privacy?"

"No! I don't want to be alone. Edward, would you stay?" Everyone looked stunned, especially Alice who looked a little hurt, but slowly he nodded.

"If you wish, I will stay as long as you'd like, Bella." Edward replied and sat down in the rocking chair next to Alice's bed.

"I'm sorry, Alice. I guess I'm old fashioned and even though I know you could rip the head off of anybody who came after me, I feel safer with a guy standing guard, ya know?" She hated to see Alice hurt, but she couldn't stand that look any longer. "I just want to get some sleep." Alice smiled and nodded.

"I get that, come on, everyone, let's leave Bella to get some rest." Alice turned to Bella again. "I will be a whisper away if you need me, ok? And we will talk more in the morning, right?" Bella nodded and smiled, dreading the coming of sunrise when Alice was sure to return.

"Goodnight everyone." When they all walked out of the room, Bella finally collapsed back on the bed, her breathing labored and her heart racing. She had forced a smile for so long, she thought her face was breaking. Her neck already sore from the hands that had been around it at some point, bruising her soft ivory flesh a deep purple made it more difficult. She didn't realize she was shaking until Edward placed a hand on hers to still the movement.

"Bella, are you alright? Would you like me to get Esme or Alice?" All Bella could do was shake her head and close her eyes. She felt the little bit of food she had forced down making its way back up and sat up as quickly as she could before making her way to bathroom door. No one was outside, thank goodness. Edward silently followed and when she bent over the toilet, he quietly picked up her hair. She wretched until she thought her ribs would break and she was weak. When she was finally finished, Edward walked with her to the sink and handed her the toothbrush she had used earlier. She felt silly, but grateful. He never said a word, just waited until she was finished. When she started walking for the door, Bella stumbled and grabbed onto the sink. Edward quickly grabbed her up into his arms and carried her out into the hall. She saw him shake his head just slightly and assumed someone was out there, maybe all of them, but she couldn't face them now and just buried her face in Edward's shirt until he got her back into the bedroom and placed her gently onto the bed.

"Are you feeling better?" Edward asked quietly as he brushed her hair from her face.

"A little, thank you."

"Why don't you sleep now. I promise I won't go anywhere." Then Bella realized what the look was on Edward's face and why she wanted him around more than the others. While they felt sorry for her, felt sick for what happened to her, Edward was angry. He looked almost as angry as Bella and that gave her some comfort. Nothing like having a badass vampire pissed off at the guys who hurt you. Nothing at all.