Chapter 3: The Morning After

Bella had slept in fits all night, waking up in screams with Edward there to comfort her and remind her that she was safe. She was sure she looked like a freak to the rest of them, but the anger had bonded Bella and Edward. Seeing her didn't make him pity her, it made him hate THEM. Edward had to feel what she felt for them too, didn't he? Just after 9:00 am, there was a light knock at the door.

"Bella, are you awake?" Alice sounded wary as she creaked the door open just slightly and then her face registered surprise when she found Edward holding Bella's hand as she slept quietly. He gently put her hand down and motioned Alice out to the hallway.

"She's barely slept all night, please don't wake her now." Edward whispered.

"I won't, I just needed some things from my room so I was hoping she was already awa-"

"Edward?" Came Bella's cry and both rushed back into the room at vampire speed. Bella would never get used to the now-their-gone-now-their-not speed with which they could move. Suddenly he was there again, taking her hand as if he had never left.

"I'm sorry, Bella. I was asking Alice not to disturb you." Bella looked horrified.

"This is Alice's room! She can disturb me all she wants to!" Bella then turned to Alice. Mechanically she smiled. "Morning, Alice." She said with forced enthusiasm. It was obvious that Bella had to try very hard to hold herself together and just interact naturally, but neither said anything as Alice reached down gingerly to hug her best friend.

"Good morning, Bella. Do you feel up to breakfast? You must be famished, especially since dinner didn't, er, agree with you. Would you like me to bring you something? Emmett stocked the kitchen so I can make you pretty much anything you want!" Bella looked down with trepidation and patted her stomach.

"Thanks, Alice, but I don't think I'm up for anything just yet. Edward made sure I drank water every time I woke last night, so I don't think shock will be an issue." Bella added to appease her worried friend.

"Bella, can we talk for a few minutes?"

"Of course. Thanks for babysitting me all night Edward. I hope it wasn't too boring."

"Of course not, Bella. And I will do the same tonight if you'd like." And Edward turned and left the girls alone to talk.

"Bella, I just wanted to say that I'm sorry."

"For what, Alice?" Bella looked puzzled.

"For leaving you by the doors to go dance with Rosalie. For not hearing something. For not figuring out where you were sooner. For not having a vision of what happened before it happened. For everything."

"Alice, it wasn't your fault! It was those pricks' faults who grabbed me and-and hurt me. Only them. Please don't blame yourself. You can't control your visions, the music and the party were so loud and there were so many smells, you couldn't have heard or smelled anything from the dance floor with all of that 'noise' to contend with!" Bella exclaimed, shocked that her friend was feeling guilty and responsible and a little resentful that she was being forced to comfort someone else when she felt so horrible herself.

"That's what Rose said, but I can't help but feel somewhat responsible for the rape—"

"Don't! Don't say that word. Not ever again. Carlisle fixed me up, I'm fine. I don't ever want to hear that word again! Is that understood?" Bella was yelling now as she was backing away from Alice, for the benefit of whomever was still in the house as much as Alice, who looked stunned and hurt-again.

"I'm sorry, Bella. I didn't mean to say….I'm just sorry." Alice stumbled over her words.

"I'm sorry, Alice. I just want to forget. Put it all behind me and move on."

"I'm sorry, Bella, I didn't mean to say anything wrong. I'm really sorry." Bella hugged her.

"You didn't say anything wrong, Alice. I'm wrong. I'm all wrong and I don't know how to put the pieces back together. I feel like I was normal and now I'm stuck in one of those twisted Picasso paintings and I don't know how to make the wild pieces go together again. I shouldn't have snapped at you. You've all been wonderful." Just then, there was a knock at the door. Esme poked her head in just slightly.

"You girls OK?" They both nodded, breaking out of their hug. Bella had no idea why hugging her best friend made her skin crawl, but it did.

"Bella, I took the liberty of going to see Charlie this morning—"

"What? NO! You told me you wouldn't tell anyone—"

"Bella, please calm down, I wasn't betraying your trust, I was helping you hide your secret, against my better judgment as a mother, but to keep my promise I didn't want Charlie getting suspicious and if you go home today, or even in the next few days, he is going to see the evidence that something happened and you will be forced to tell him and I believe that should be your decision so I was HELPING you, so let me continue, ok?" Bella nodded mutely and made a mental note to find a mirror as soon as she could.

"I was setting it up so that you could stay with us for a while longer. With Spring Break starting on Monday, I was able to convince Charlie that I wanted to surprise all 3 of you girls with a trip to our California beach house for some sun and sand and that I wanted to pack some things for you to add your bags to ours as part of the surprise when you woke up. He seemed skeptical at first and there was a caveat to his agreement to your coming along with us, but I was able to get some of your comfy things from home, and throw in with a few other things to make Charlie believe you were really at the beach if he looked for them. He wanted to know why I hadn't asked him sooner and I told him that Carlisle wasn't sure he could get the time off from work until late last night, which was true. He called in several favors so that he would be missing from the hospital to keep the ruse going, and so you are free to stay with us the entire week and through next weekend. That should give those bruises and cuts some time to heal. At least enough time to get the stitches out so you can comb your hair so the cut on your forehead will be hidden easily enough and the bruises should be yellowed enough that Rosalie can help you cover them up with some of her amazing stash of makeup. She mixes her own, you know? Hmmpphh—" Bella threw her arms around Esme.

"I love you, Esme!" She felt like crying, but thought it strange that no tears came. Then thought it even stranger yet that no tears had come at all. Maybe she really was getting past this mess and moving on, she thought.

"I love you, too, Bella, dear. The same as I do my own. I will help you do whatever you need to do In order to heal from all of this." She stroked Bella's hair as Bella tried not to cringe away. She couldn't figure out what her problem was. She loved these people, why did their touch freak her out like this? The hug broke away and Bella looked down, chewing her lip.

"I know that look, Bella. What are you thinking? What is it you want to ask for?" Alice jumped in. Bella had a difficult time asking for anything, small or big, and this was pretty big.

"Well….I was wondering…."

"Spit it out, already!" Alice giggled. "You could ask for the moon right now and even Edward would work on getting it for you!"

"Since Carlisle doesn't have to work and I hate to lie to Charlie, do you think there is any way we could go to California for some sun and heat and get out of the oppressive rain? And…well…I wouldn't be so scared away from here." The last line she whispered.

"Of course! We have a villa in Southern California that is on a private beach and is so secluded, it is almost its own island. No one goes there except the cleaning crew and we don't have to hide there!" Alice nearly shrieked her excitement.

"Yes, Bella." Esme agreed. "That might be just what the doctor orders. Carlisle is coming up to take a look at your stitches and change your dressings soon. I will ask him what he thinks and get back to you, ok?"

"Wait—he doesn't have to-again, does he?" Bella asked as she self-consciously pulled the covers up to her chin.

"No, Bella. Not unless there is a problem. Those internal stitches will dissolve in time but promise me that if you the pain gets worse or you feel any different, you will tell me, ok? Carlisle did what he could but he isn't a gynecologist. He is worried that he wasn't thorough enough and is begging me to convince you to go to a doctor, but I know that at this point that isn't going to happen so I'm not even going to ask. I guess a man can never understand but even though I've never been through what you and Rosalie have been through, I understand why you feel the way you do and I won't push you. But remember, if there are any changes, you HAVE to tell me. An infection could make you unable to have children or even kill you fairly quickly if it isn't treated. OK?"

"OK." Bella said as she looked down at her lap, where the blankets had landed.

"I will go talk to Carlisle now. Alice, when you are done here, why don't you round up the others. I think Emmett and Rose are hunting and Jasper has been keeping his distance even though we've tried to tell him that he is in no danger of losing control now, he just won't take the chance."

"I know where to find him." Alice said sadly as Esme got up to leave the room. As she opened the door, she nearly tripped over Edward who was carrying a breakfast tray.

"Ah, breakfast for our patient!" Alice exclaimed. "I will leave you in capable hands, then, while I go talk to everyone. You can talk to Edward." And she bounced out of the room. With the way Alice moved it was either bouncing or gliding. She never walked or ran.

"I thought you might be hungry and I'm a little more creative than Emmett, but don't tell him that. He was so proud of himself last night for being able to help that he was talking about it again this morning." Edward said as he set the tray on the table beside the bed.

"Poor Emmett, and then I upchucked everything." Bella hid her face in her hands with shame. Edward reached up and gently removed them. She noticed that his touch didn't make her want to cringe away and found that very odd, indeed.

"Don't worry about it. He was just worried about you and was glad that he could do something. Alice and Rosalie brought you home and helped while Carlisle and Esme fixed you up. You wanted me to stay with you to protect you so Emmett felt left out. He is still proud that he made you food and you ate some of it. I don't think he has connected the fact that your throwing up meant tossing up what he had just made for you. He just feels really badly and really helpless, like the rest of us, but Jasper is tormented over not being able to do anything at all because he fears himself and is terrified he will scare you and make things worse." Edward's brow furrowed a little on the last sentence. Part with worry and part with disgust.

"I know Jasper wouldn't hurt me and there are no open, bloody cuts, so I will make a point of going down to see Jasper later and let him know that he is safe." Bella responded automatically as she stared at the mounded plate in front of her.

"That's Bella, always worried about everyone else! You can do whatever you are comfortable with, but for now, dig in to the eggs benedict with bacon. I remembered that you hate ham but love bacon and tomato, so I used a recipe I saw on the Food Network Channel once and, voila!" Edward brandished a napkin with flare. Bella giggled.

"You don't eat, why on Earth do you watch the Food Network?"

"When you don't sleep, have a lot of time on your hands, and aren't paired up with someone like everyone else in the house, you have a lot of spare time for useless things." Edward said and Bella blushed a little as he grinned.

"OK, Bella. Stop stalling, it's time to eat!" Bella managed a few bites, which tasted scrumptious, and she told Edward so, but her stomach felt like it had been turned to stone and filled with sand. She just couldn't eat much. She hated to waste his wonderful creation but ¼ of the way in, she declared herself done and Edward sighed.

"I hope you aren't too upset with me." She said with trepidation.

"Upset WITH you? No! Upset FOR you! You don't need to lose any more weight and eating will help the body heal faster so I'm worried about you is all. Will you at least keep the orange juice to drink?" Edward pleaded.

"Yes, Mom." Bella said with a grin to lighten his mood as he picked up the tray. "You don't have to go!" She exclaimed.

"I hear Carlisle and Esme coming, I'm assuming they want to redress your wounds so I will give you privacy while I think up what I will make for you for lunch and then I will return when they are finished with their work. If that's ok with you?" He sputtered a little at the end. To go from not really noticing each other's presence very often to suddenly Bella wanting him around was confusing to say the least. For both of them.

"That would be perfect. Thank you, Edward." He just nodded as the door opened, his parents entered and he left, closing the door behind him.

"Good morning, Bella!" Carlisle said in his doctor voice. "How is my patient today?"

"Fine, I guess." Bella shrugged and looked back down at her lap.

"Let's take a look at that head. You took a nasty knock there, but I don't think you have a concussion or anything. Your pupils are normal and dilating normally, so that's a good sign. It looks like we were able to keep you from going into shock, for which Emmett is taking full credit since you ate his pancakes, of course." Carlisle smiled.

"OK, new water proof bandage there, now I'm going to have to take a look at your legs and make sure they are healing. I can see you are starting to panic, but please, Bella, it's ok. Your shirt is long enough to cover you and it will only take a few moments. I will be quick and it won't hurt. It might itch a little when I put the ointment on, but then these plastic bandages go on like a second skin and will cover the cuts and burns so nothing can get in and you can heal properly, ok?"

"Shaking and gripping the covers, Bella nodded. She stood slowly but then didn't move. It was Esme who went to her side.

"I know, Bella, this is terribly painful for you, but Carlisle needs to make sure you are healing. There is no need to feel shame or embarrassment. Not in this house. No one here blames you.

"I do." Bella whispered as she put her thumbs in the waistband of Rosalie's pants and started slowly pulling them down. No one said anything, but Esme made a mental note to address the self-blame later. When she finally had them off, she laid down and Carlisle made his way to the bed. Bella reached wildly for Esme's hand as he parted her legs just a little and began removing the bandages. Bella nearly came off the bed, but she made herself stay as still as possible, though she was shaking all over so badly that her teeth were chattering.

"Squeeze my hand, Bella, it will all be over soon, I promise." Esme cooed over and over again, trying to calm Bella's shaking. Finally, Carlisle finished with the last bandage and covered her with the blankets.

"All done!" He exclaimed as he would for any patient. But she wasn't any patient. She was Bella and this was ripping his heart out.

"Now, about your request to go to California…I think that is a wonderful idea! We could all use some quiet time out of the rain and Rosalie and Alice would kill to do some nighttime shopping on Rodeo Drive. The only problem is how to get there. Flying commercially is out, it would be too hard for you, but I think we can charter a plane to get us close enough to the island and we will get a couple of rental cars from there. What do you think, Bella? Ever fly in a chartered jet before?" Carlisle was trying to distract her from what had just happened and it was working. She had loosened her grip on Esme's hand and the shaking was less severe.

"Charter a plane? I can't ask you to spend that kind of money, Carlisle!"

"Nonsense!" Carlisle replied with a look of dismissal on his face. "We have it to spend, so let's spend it and go in style."

"Thank you." Was all Bella could manage as Carlisle started packing up his medical equipment and leaving the room. She hadn't noticed that Esme had brought up her old Army Surplus duffel bag when Carlisle had walked in with the medical bag. Suddenly she realized it was on the floor beside her and she looked at it strangely.

"What is it, Bella? Do you want to see what I brought for you? See if everything is ok? We may have to buy you a few things for warmer weather because I don't think I packed enough for a week in the sun, but that's no problem. I will just send Alice out. She will love having a shopping errand. And I will make her behave and get all comfortable fabrics and outfits, I promise." Esme smiled, confused by Bella's lack of reaction.

"No, it's just that I thought having my own things would be comforting, but it isn't. I don't feel like that Bella anymore. I feel like someone else. I feel like I've shed my old skin and I have a new one and those clothes are part of the old one…I don't know. I don't make any sense." Esme hugged her, and again Bella struggled not to cringe away.

"No, it makes sense. Would you like me to send Alice out for some new clothes?"

"No, no, that's ok. It was just a strange feeling I had. No need to waste perfectly good clothing. Do you mind if I take a shower, now?"

"Of course not, you don't have to ask, this room and Alice's bathroom are yours until we leave and there are four private suites in our beach house so you won't even have to go out into the hallway to get to the facilities. I am sorry about that. It isn't something we have to worry about, the bathrooms were built for show, so it just didn't occur to us. We've been around for a long time. Ensuite bathrooms just aren't something that came naturally to us when we built this place." Esme looked apologetic.

"Don't worry about it, I have to face the world someday, don't I? It may as well be on the way to the bathroom!" Bella smiled, which Esme returned, then turned to leave Bella alone to hit the shower.

Bella pulled the duffle bag onto the bed with some effort. Her arms were sore, her abdomen muscles, everything ached when she sat still and screamed when she moved. She was afraid to see what she looked like under the t-shirt and afraid to look down at her uncovered legs. She rifled through the duffle bag and realized that Esme had done a wonderful job of packing for her. Old t-shirts and leggings, jogging pants, and hoodies were interspersed with her bathing suit, shorts and tank tops. She pulled out one of her favorite old concert shirts, a black hoodie and a pair of leggings, underthings, and one of the pads Esme had discreetly placed in the side pocket and bundled it all up.

She slowly reached for the bundle, muscles still screaming, and made her way to the door. She could hear a flurry of activity. Great everyone was getting ready for the trip she realized. When she turned the doorknob, however, she heard everything stop.

There, in the hallway in front of the bathroom door was Emmett, looking like a deer caught in the headlights. He was desperately looking side-to-side to find somewhere to be that wasn't in Bella's path. The rest had managed to dash into rooms or otherwise hide themselves when the doorknob had turned, but poor Emmett was just stuck there with an armload of clothing, heading toward his bedroom.

"Hey, Em. I thought guys packed light?" Bella asked to gently ease his discomfort.

"Yeah, well, I'm not most guys. Gotta be prepared for everything, right? Thanks for talking Esme and Carlisle into taking us all to California for Spring Break. We haven't been down to the beach house in forever and some sun and warm water will be a nice change of pace!"

"No problem, Emmett, glad I could help you out." And she gently punched his shoulder as she walked into the bathroom. She heard him start whistling as he continued past Alice's room to his own.

'I can pretend to be the same old Bella', she thought. 'I have to. For everyone's sake'. Then she caught a glance of herself in the mirror and what she saw made a strangled sound come from her throat. Immediately, there was someone at the door.

"Bella? Are you alright? Let me in, or would you rather I get Alice or Esme?" It was Edward. She had no idea where he had come from or how he had heard her small cry, but he was there. She slowly opened the door.

"I'm sorry I scared you. I…just…well…I just got a look at myself in the mirror. I had no idea how badly I looked. Why didn't anyone tell me?" Edward slowly took her hand in his, looked to her for any signs that she was uncomfortable, then slowly pulled her into a hug.

"You are still the same, beautiful Bella. Those bruises and cuts will heal in no time and you will look just the same as you did yesterday before the dance, but you are still the same beautiful Bella." He was rocking her in the doorway of the bathroom while the rest all listened from their open bedroom doors as they had stopped packing to make sure she was OK.

"I'm OK now. I'm sorry I scared everyone." She said after a couple of moments of silent rocking. She pulled away from him and looked up. "Really, I'm sorry. You don't have to worry so much, I won't break, I promise!" And she smiled weakly at him as she tried to sound jovial, but failed.

"I wanted to ask a favor of you, though. Would you mind If I borrowed a couple of your long-sleeved t-shirts for the trip? Maybe a sweatshirt? I just want something loose and baggy and yours seemed so comfortable last night but if you don't have enough or whatever…"

"Shhhhh, Bella, it's fine. I will get them and put them on Alice's bed for you to pack when you get out of the shower, ok?" He smiled at her nervousness and she blushed.

"Thanks, Edward. For everything."

"You're welcome. Now go get ready or you will have three very pissed off vampires in a few minutes who are dying to get to the beach! The charter plane leaves in two hours so we can't be late!" She looked stricken as she backed into the bathroom and closed the door on Edward.

Bella slowly began to peel her clothing off, careful not to look into the mirror until she was completely naked, then she turned toward the huge mirror and took in everything that was now a part of her, whether it healed on the outside or not. There were bruises up and down her arms, her legs. The stitches showing through the plastic second-skin things Carlisle had used looked gnarled and black. The burns looked scabbed over and raised, like they were screaming something at her. What she could see of her back looked horrible. It was nothing but a giant bruise and a series of dozens of scratches from the rocks. 20 deep enough that they must have bled quite a lot. The worst was her face. Despite the bloody nose, she had two perfect black eyes and both cheeks were growing a deep purple. Her neck had finger marks bruised around it, thumb prints in front so that they moved when she swallowed. She looked like something out of a crime scene television show.

Then she had to remind herself that she was a walking crime scene.

Edward paced back and forth at the top of the stairs, listening to the water run. Everyone else was packed and ready downstairs. He had taken the liberty of placing 4 of the shirts Bella had asked for and a hooded sweatshirt in with her things and taken them downstairs. Alice and Rosalie had gone out for what they called "toiletries", and placed those in the bag and her things were waiting downstairs with everyone else's. Now if she would just finish showering.

"It's OK, Edward. It takes a lot of showers to wash away what happened to her last night." Esme said quietly from behind him.

"Is she going to be alright, Esme? Will she ever be the old Bella again?"

"The old Bella? Maybe not completely. But something close. It will just take some time." She placed her hand on his shoulder and called down to Rosalie to join them.

"Rose, can you talk to her? We need to get on the road and I want to make sure she feels 'clean' but there is a deadline. " Esme asked cautiously.

"Of course. Anything to help." Rosalie said and went to knock on the bathroom door as she opened it just a little.

"Bella!" She yelled over the sound of running water. "Bella! We have to go in about 15 minutes, would you like me to help you do your hair quickly so we can get on the road.

"I'm sorry." Bella yelled back. Give me just a second!" Just like Bella. 'I'm sorry' was the prelude to just about anything else she said. Rosalie had to roll her eyes a little. It took about 3 minutes and Bella opened the door dressed as if she were going to a skate boarder convention rather than California, her hair wrapped in a towel and her black ensemble strikingly obvious against the bright summer colors the rest of the group wore in anticipation of the warmer weather. She looked like Wednesday Addams for God's sake!

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be in the shower so long. It just…er…felt good on the sore muscles." Rosalie looked at Bella and gave her an impromptu hug that made Bella stiffen uncontrollably.

"No matter how much you wash, you will never be able to wash them away. I know, I tried." Rosalie looked at Bella as if she wanted to cry and then hurried her back into the bathroom.

"How about a simple braid? I can make it go to one side and cover the cut on your forehead. If we see people, you can pull the hood up on your jacket and cover most of the throat bruises. Does that sound OK to you?" Bella just nodded as Rosalie's adept and lightening fast fingers went to work on her hair. When she was finished, Bella was surprised at how much more normal she looked.

"Wait here," Rosalie said as she ran to her room for her makeup kit which was the size of most people's suitcases. When she returned, she artfully covered the split lip until it was barely noticeable and did what she could with the black eyes but ran back again and returned with a large pair of sunglasses. "What makeup won't fix, sunglasses can hide!" She exclaimed triumphantly.

Bella looked at herself in the mirror. She looked almost normal….almost.

The two descended the stairs hand-in-hand. Alice and Esme were waiting for them at the bottom and the guys were going in and out, loading two cars. Alice hugged Bella gingerly.

"I can't WAIT to show you the beach house! Alice laughed as she bounced up and down on her toes, never still.

Bella could tell they had all had a talk about trying to show Bella a good time and that was not what she was after. She just wanted to relax alone and think. But she would never hurt their feelings on purpose, so she would do what she had to in order to find some stolen moments in the heat and the sun where she did her best thinking. God, she was missing Arizona right now.

"All loaded up! " Emmett exclaimed. "Babe, you and I are riding with Jasper and Alice. Dad wanted Bella in his car and since that just leaves Edward, well he goes with them too!"

"Fine, but Alice DOESN'T do the driving, Jasper does!" Rosalie yelled loudly as she walked out the door to climb into the back seat of the car and Alice pretended to look offended as she climbed into the passenger seat in front of her.

"Jazz wanted to drive, anyway!" Alice retorted.

'Look at them', Bella thought, 'just going on as if the world hasn't been ripped in half. But, then again, they weren't nearly ripped in half. They can pretend to get it all they want, but they don't. Even Rosalie, who felt the pain and humiliation the same as I did had been able to go back as a vampire and get revenge on the men who had hurt her.' Bella didn't feel strong, she felt incredibly weak. And she didn't feel like Bella anymore.

"Bella, dear, this way." Carlisle said as he gently grabbed her elbow and she yelped and jumped back as if he had hit her.

"I'm sorry, Carlisle, I didn't mean to. I mean—I didn't—I just—"

"It's OK, Bella. I understand. I knew you were lost in your own world somewhere, I shouldn't have touched you. It was my mistake. How about we get into the cars now before we miss our plane, what do you say?" And Carlisle smiled at her warmly. She tried to smile back and just nodded. Once in the car, Esme turned to Bella.

"Oh, Bella, I nearly forgot. The only way Charlie would let you come was if you would call him before we left town. I'm sorry, I tried to get you out of it but Charlie isn't a stupid man and it really would have set his radar going if I had pushed any further to interfere in communication between you two. I'm sure you would rather not, but I'm afraid you must for just a few moments. Charlie is a man of few words after all." Esme said and smiled at her, both with trepidation and with that same pity.

Bella felt her belly grow hot with anger at the pity, which surprised her. The anger was getting worse. She had to force herself to control it. It wasn't the Cullen's fault that she had been attacked. They were only trying to help her so she kept telling herself that she needed to get her shit together ASAP before she hurt more than just Alice's feelings.

"OK, Esme. I will call him now. " She reached into her bag for her cell phone and realized it wasn't there. Then it dawned on her. The monsters had taken her small handbag with the few essentials a girl needs at a dance. One of those a telephone for emergencies. A lot of good that had done her, she thought.

"Esme?" Bella nearly whispered, "They took my purse last night with my cell phone in it, the one Charlie got me just a couple of months ago, could I borrow yours?"

"Of course, dear." Esme fished in her purse for her phone and handed it to Bella as she heard Bella whisper "Charlie is going to kill me."

"Thank you, Esme. You guys have done so much for me."

"It's nothing I wouldn't do for my own children. You and Alice are practically sisters and you have become a member of our family. Any of us would do anything for you, Bella. I hope you know that." Esme said, and Carlisle nodded in agreement. Bella smiled back , this time a genuinely warm smile.

Bella flipped open the phone and dialed Charlie's number but couldn't bring herself to push send. Edward sensed her hesitation, looked at her with his eyebrows raised questioningly, and offered her his hand. She breathed a sigh of relief and took it gratefully, squeezing so hard that it nearly hurt her, though she knew that he would barely feel a thing. She hit send and Charlie picked up on the second ring, sounding gruff.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Dad, it's me."

"Bells? What are you doing using Esme's phone? Where is yours?"

"I couldn't find it in my bag, we were in such a hurry and everything, I'm not sure where it got packed…"

"You should always keep that phone with you, that's why I bought you that ridiculously expensive thing! So that I could reach you anytime night or day. I've been getting some strange texts coming from that phone today, is there a way for cell phone wires to get crossed? If you didn't send them, then who is?" Bella nearly started hyperventilating and Edward moved closer, Esme turned, concerned, and Carlisle's brow was furrowed in the mirror. Of course, they could hear the other side of the conversation just as clearly as if they were holding the phone. Hell, Bella figured the group in the car ahead of them could probably hear it!

"Hello? Bella? Are you there?

"Dad, don't be too upset, but I think my phone was stolen last night. I wasn't sure until you told me about the weird texts, but now I know that must be why I can't find it." Bella's voice was shaking. She hoped Charlie would just chalk it up to fear of being grounded or something for being irresponsible.

"I don't like the idea of you being so far away without your telephone, but I guess I can reach you with one of the Cullen's phones, if they don't mind."

"No, they won't mind, but I will be with the Cullens. One is even a doctor, so how much trouble could I get into on a beach? Wait, don't answer that…" Charlie chuckled as Bella tried not to throw up.

"Dad, call the phone company and have that phone disconnected and deactivated so they can't contact you anymore. What did the texts say, Dad?"

"Nothing I can repeat to my 16 year old daughter!"

"Please, as soon as we hang up, you do that, ok? I can't because I'm a minor on the account. We have insurance on the phone. I will pay the $50 deductible and get a replacement as soon as I get back, oK?"

"It's ok, Bella. Don't sound so upset. These things happen. I'm not angry, ok? Your voice is so shaky."

"I just feel stupid for losing the phone you worked hard to pay for. I'm sorry."

"No need to be sorry. I will call immediately, just like you said, delete the filthy messages, and we will take care of it as soon as you get back. Maybe you need this vacation more than I realized."

"You have no idea, Dad."

"OK, then, have fun and all that. Bye, Bells."

"Dad? I love you. Bye." Bella hung up the phone too quickly for him to react.

Still on the verge of hyperventilating, Carlisle urged Bella to stop and put her head between her knees and try to take deep breaths. Edward didn't know what else to do, so he rubbed her back. Slowly, she began to calm down, her breathing began to steady, and her body stopped shaking. She brought her back up, feeling a little better, until a thought occurred to her. If they were texting her father, were they texting other people on her contacts list. The list was short, but she would be humiliated.

"Oh God, what if they have texted other people!" Bella was mortified.

"No problem. I will put Alice on it. She can call your friends and explain that your cell phone was stolen and that they may be getting some strange texts or calls until Charlie can have it deactivated." Edward said, reassuringly, then grabbed his own phone to call his sister in the other car and ask her to do just that.

"See? All taken care of." Now try to relax and enjoy your first trip on a chartered plane. This one is first-class luxury. Carlisle even made sure we will be able to get through security quicker and into a lounge where you won't be bothered." Bella knew that Edward meant where fewer people would stare at the grunge queen with the bruises among the group of vacationers, but she was grateful.

In no time, they were at the airport, whisked through security, and in a dark corner of a dark lounge. Bella jumped at every noise, recoiled every time someone tried to address her and ask if she needed anything and Esme had to answer that her daughter wasn't feeling well and water would be just fine.

Every man that looked her direction was one of them in Bella's mind. Every hand that accidentally touched hers was their touch. Every shoulder that brushed hers was their tackle and every aftershave that assaulted her nostrils was their sickening smell. She suddenly lurched up from the table and raced to the bathroom. Alice was right behind her.

She wretched into the toilet and all that came up was water, but she couldn't stop. For five minutes, her stomach was out of her control and she felt sore and worn out when she was finished. Alice was dutifully holding up her braid, saying soothing things and telling her that it was going to be OK. But it was never going to be OK and Bella was getting so angry she was afraid she would slug her friend which would only succeed in hurting Bella's hand and Alice's feelings so she kept her hands tightly fisted at her side until she collected herself enough to join the others.

They were all waiting for her with those awful looks of pity. She sought out Edward's face. Good, no pity. Only anger. She felt as if he understood better than the others because he was pissed off and so was she. The pity was killing her.

"Time to board!" Carlisle announced happily. As if Bella hadn't just made a huge spectacle of herself for no apparent reason. She wondered what they had talked about while she was gone. If Alice was whispering to Jasper or Esme now about how she had tossed her cookies…or in this case, her fancy water.

When they boarded the plane, everything was more beautiful than Bella could have imagined. It had ivory leather seats, plush tan carpet, and large windows with shades that opened and closed with the push of a button. There was a sink and a refrigerator stocked with soft drinks, which she assumed had been prepared for her, with some small, light snacks as well, mainly cheeses and fruits, crackers on the counter that looked like they came from a foreign country, and chocolates. The Cullens all kidded her about her love of chocolate so it didn't surprise her that they had thought of everything.

Bella chose a seat at the back of the eight-seater plane and dropped down, eager to take off and get away from everyone and everything that was Forks, Washington. She realized that the seats were mechanical as well. They had buttons to heat them, cool them, turn them 360 degrees and place you in any number of positions, including reclining all the way back. She was so tired, that realization was a welcome one. Right now, all four seats on the left side of the plane were facing the four seats on the right side and she decided she would wait for the right moment to turn hers away just a little for some privacy, maybe a nap. But now was not the right time as everyone chattered aboard.

"So, what do you think, Bella? Is it to your liking?" Carlisle asked in that way that made him seem the hundreds of years old that he was rather than the 30 years old that he looked.

"Very much, so. I just wish the trip was a little longer." Bella joked as she smiled and sank into the seat. "Does anyone mind if I take a nap?" She asked with trepidation.

"Heavens no!" Esme responded as the others shook their heads. "You didn't sleep much last night, I heard you waking with nightmares several times, and your body needs rest. Why don't you turn your seat to face the window and then close the blinds so you can have some privacy?" Esme said.

'Bless you, Esme', Bella thought as she did just that and Alice handed her a pillow and blanket from one of the overhead bins. Within seconds, Bella was fast asleep. The others had all turned the two front seats in each row to face each other and Emmett and Edward sat on the floor in the aisle as the plane sailed through the sky. They tried hard to whisper so as not to wake her.

"Poor Bella." Alice said. "I can't imagine what she is going through. If only I hadn't left her at the dance."

"Alice, you can't blame yourself. You did nothing wrong. She was inside a gym, a safe place. Who knew something like that could happen so close to what is supposed to be a safe haven for children like Bella? I'm worried because she hasn't cried or even uttered the word rape, yet. She just seems to be pretending that nothing happened." Carlisle said to Alice. "Has she said anything to any of you?" They shook their heads in unison.

"Did all of you catch their scent on Bella last night?" Esme asked, as quietly as she could. Everyone nodded except Jasper.

"There were definitely three, Bella was right about that, but I didn't recognize any of them. Did any of you?" Rosalie asked. Everyone shook their head except Edward.

"I know I've smelled one of them before. But I can't remember where. I just remember thinking how much he wreaked. It has really been pissing me off that I can't remember and go rip his head off!"

"Now, Edward, there is no need to do anything violent that will get you arrested. Right now, for whatever reason, Bella responds to you. She needs you right now so you must stay level headed. Perhaps we can talk Bella into going to the authorities when we return. I saved the rape kit. If you can remember the man's identity, we can go from there, but don't do anything rash, son. Remember who you are and who you don't want to become." Carlisle lectured.

"But the things they did to her. I tried not to read your minds, but I couldn't help it. The cuts, the brands, the screaming in pain when you had to examine her…Bella didn't deserve that. No woman does." Edward spat out.

"Holy shit, they branded her? Where?"

"Uh, guys?" Rosalie interrupted and pointed to the back of the plane where Bella was sitting straight up, twisted in her seat, and staring at them in shock.

"I'm not an animal. You can talk with me instead of about me," she said angrily. She was literally seething with anger and disgust. "Do you want to know where he branded me, Emmett? Fine!" With that, she stood and dropped her pants, the hoodie covering to the tops of her thighs. "There. Are you happy?" She asked as she yanked them back up. "The first one gave me the cuts because he said that I was a dirty whore and he wanted to make me ugly so no man would want to touch me again. Then when he found out I was a virgin, the other two held me down when he was finished raping me and he took out a lighter and held it to his ring then stuck it to my skin so hard that it bruised underneath the burns. He did this six times on each side. He told me that meant that he owned me and after he and his friends were through with me, no man would ever touch me again because I would be marked forever. Is that what you want to hear? Is it?" Bella was screaming, not in control of herself.

She found the nearest thing she could and through it. A bottle of fancy water smashed against the back wall. The next thing she found was a box of cigars that she threw against the side of the plane with such force, some of the cigars actually splintered with the box. Third, she grabbed a laptop and pitched it to the floor, pieces flying everywhere.

It was Edward who reached her as the others stood stunned. He grabbed her arms as she reached for a vase and knew that if she cut herself in the sky, there would be little hope of keeping Jasper away. And maybe, deep down, that's what Bella wanted. But he wasn't going to give it to her.

"No, Bella, calm down. It's ok. Everything is going to be OK. It has only been one day and you are doing so well. So much better than we expected, you can get through this. You've had to take care of your mother, of Charlie, now it's time for you to let us take care of you, ok? Just let us take care of you!" Edward finished as he started making hushing noises and Bella started sobbing. He was rocking her back and forth in his arms, gently holding her as one holds a baby as she buried her face in his shirt and cried as if her heart were broken. And perhaps it was.

Esme busied herself cleaning up the water and glass, Emmett the computer, and Jasper the cigars. Carlisle went to talk to the pilot about settling up the bill so that they could get out quickly and Edward picked Bella up and carried her over to a seat where he held her in his arms until she cried herself to sleep.

It was scarcely two hours later when the captain announced their decent into Burbank's airport. Carlisle thought the smaller airport would be less of a trauma for Bella and easier to get into and out of relatively unseen. Though they had no fancy lounges, they would be able to get through the elite line and get out quickly to a waiting limousine that would take them to their secluded beach house on the coast. It would be quite a ride, but they would all be comfortable.

"Bella, honey, it's time to wake up. We are getting ready to land." Edward quietly said in her ear. She stirred and opened her eyes, confused about where she was and then embarrassed to find herself in Edward's lap. She quickly slid to the seat next to him, her face so red it was nearly purple, and started her apologies before being cut off by Alice.

"Please don't say you are sorry, Bella! What we saw there was more of a normal reaction than we've seen yet. It's about time you got pissed off and threw some things. Although a $2000 computer wasn't exactly a cheap choice. At least we kept you from the $3000 vase you were reaching for when Edward tackled you. Carlisle and the captain are still haggling over the cost of the Cuban cigars, but let's just say one of us may not be going to college this time around." Alice grinned and looked at her best friend with sympathy and a little mischief to lighten her mood. Bella's red face only deepened in color as she hid behind her hands.

"Please, just tell me that I didn't really drop my pants."

"Dude, you totally did!" Emmett chimed in and everyone laughed just a little, afraid of offending Bella.

"Dude," Bella mocked him "you're never going to let me live that down are you?"

"Nope, kid sister, you bet your ass that one will come up again and I have to say that you throw bigger tantrums than Rosalie. If you had her strength, we would have been in some serious trouble back there! A vampire can survive a lot of things, but I don't know about falling from the sky because a laptop goes through the floor!" Rosalie slapped his shoulder angrily.

"Carlisle, I'm sorry about the money. I have a little in my college fund and I can get a job to pay off the rest—"

"Nonsense, Bella, what are families for?"

"Please return to your seats and fasten your seatbelts as we prepare for our descent into Burbank International Airport. It is a balmy 86 degrees and sunny with a slight breeze from the west. Enjoy your stay in sunny Los Angeles!" The captain's voice crackled over the loud speaker.

Everyone did as they were told, the messes cleaned up and the cabin looking spotless, again, and they waited for the landing. Bella replaced her sunglasses and pulled up her hoodie, careful to pull her braid out to the side to hide at least the marks on one side of her neck.

Soon, they were in the limo, taking in the sights and trying to cheer Bella up.

"Look, Bella, Mann's Chinese Theater! Maybe one night we could go see a movie there. And Rodeo Drive! We have to do the Beverly Hills shopping. It sucks to have to wait until sundown because that gives us so few hours before the stores close, but we can do what damage is possible on the credit cards!" Bella just nodded and smiled politely, her glasses and hood still in place in case the driver rolled down the window.

A few people had looked at her a little strangely coming off of the airplane dressed all in black, long sleeves, a hood, and big sunglasses while everyone else was wearing sundresses, shorts, and sandals. She couldn't dream of showing her skin, though. She even walked around with her hands in her pockets.

Finally, they entered a dark area. Bella instinctively scooted closer to Edward without even realizing she was doing it, and took his hand. The others noticed, though, as did he. It was strange how she had latched onto him. One would think she would be finding comfort in Alice, Esme, or even Rosalie. But Edward? They had just never clicked before. Maybe that was why. Maybe she needed someone who didn't know her that well to help her feel safe. In any case, he would do whatever he could to help her in any way she needed.

The area became more and more isolated as they drove into the hills, then to the rockier cliffs behind. Finally, they drove up to the beautiful beach house that seemed to be cut out of the cliff with the sandy beach just below it. It was breathtaking and, like a little girl with her nose pressed to the candy store window, Bella had her face pressed against the glass, stretched over Edward, to see the amazing mansion they referred to as a beach house. It was built on a bit of a hill, sandwiched between two sides of a cliff but with plenty of ground space between the house and the cliff for the amazing patio that wrapped around the back and one side of the house. There were ornate metal chairs with overstuffed white cushions and the light from inside the house made everything glow as it bounced off of the stone walls of the cliff. The sand itself was a beautiful shade of taupe, seemingly untouched by human or weather, and Bella was in awe.

"I see you approve.' Carlisle chuckled.

"Yes, I definitely approve!" Bella whispered, still in such awe that she didn't want to spoil the moment.

Entering the home was even more spectacular. Without thinking about it and before the driver had gone, Bella had removed her sunglasses and shed the hood of her sweatshirt and stood just circling the huge foyer. It was dark outside now and every light in the house was on. She'd heard Carlisle call ahead to ask the cleaning staff to have the house ready and lit up upon their arrival and now she knew why. He wanted her to get the total effect and for just a moment, she forgot herself and what had happened as she stared at the light but rich colors and the gorgeous Italian tile work throughout the bottom floor.

She could just make out a baby grand piano in one of the rooms with a huge fireplace and the largest screen tv she had ever seen across the foyer in another. There were sofas and chairs of what looked like the softest, fluffiest material ever all over the place and a delicious smell coming from the kitchen. The stairway was massive and the upstairs rooms were all situated in a square around the giant entryway. She could see 4 open doors and just make out bits and pieces of huge, four poster beds in massive suites. She started toward the dining room, glee in her heart and forgetting her wounds and what had happened for a brief moment before she tuned into the conversation between the driver and Carlisle.

"That one doesn't look so good. It looks like someone beat her up. Is she ok?" The driver asked as he sat down the first load of bags.

"She is fine, just an accident—"

"I wrapped Daddy's car around a pole and now I'm grounded for the whole summer. Thanks for reminding me!" Bella said loudly and then stomped upstairs to the first room she could find and slammed the door. She had no idea whose room she was entering but judging by all of the frilly white and the big screen television, it was likely Rosalie and Emmett's. She could just make out Carlisle saying "Teenagers, what can you do?" as he tipped the driver and he left.

As Bella came out of the room, red-faced from embarrassment, it was too applause. Jasper spoke first, which shocked Bella because he had yet to speak to her since she had shown up on his doorstep, bloody and broken, and seeing as how she had just dropped her pants in front of the Southern gentleman, she didn't think he would ever speak to her again.

"I do believe that was a perfect performance, ma'am. An Oscar may be in your future!" She blushed even deeper and laughed as they all bowed to her and she bowed back. It was a small laugh, but it was a start. Edward picked up her ratty Army surplus bag and was next to her in the blink of an eye.

"Let me show you to your room so you can get settled. Would you like to eat dinner downstairs or upstairs, alone?" He asked as he opened the furthest door from the stairs to the left.

"With the family, I think. They've gone to so much trouble, I don't want to be too much of a recluse." Bella said, though that's exactly what she wanted to be.

"Why don't I bring your dinner up tonight and you can see visitors one or two at a time? You look exhausted. Then, maybe you can consider breakfast or lunch downstairs, ok?"

"You don't think your family will be put-out?"

"Bella, all of this is for you, don't you get it? For you to see, do, feel, and behave however you need. Although I must warn you that some of the glass pieces around the house may not look like much but Carlisle has a thing for irreplaceable antiquities so if you need to break anything, stick to laptops and water bottles only, ok?" And then he grinned at her.

"Ugh, don't remind me." Bella said as she hid her face. Edward smiled and pulled her into an easy hug.

"No worries, Bella. Just stay away from the things in the library!" Bella swatted at him as he deftly avoided her and was at the door before she could blink.

"I will go get your dinner while you unpack. There should be half an empty closet and one empty chest of drawers for you." And then he disappeared. Bella looked around at all of the books lining the shelves and then counted the bedrooms. Only four. She was taking Edward's room. But, then again, vampires don't sleep, so maybe it wasn't a big deal. Then she wondered if he would mind keeping watch over her again tonight. She knew the boogeymen had been left behind in Forks, but she still didn't think she could sleep alone.

She opened the bag and found four of his shirts and his hooded sweatshirt. They may be warm, but they would be comforting to sleep in. Something that didn't belong to Old Bella. Esme had grabbed some capris, which would be OK since they would be alone and the bruises below her knees weren't as bad as the rest, but she still preferred to be covered so was grateful to find jogging pants, leggings, and her favorite pair of comfortable jeans.

Bella was a little embarrassed to find undergarments, but glad at the same time that Esme had thought to pack them. All cotton panties. She remembered Carlisle saying something about them promoting healing, but she didn't remember much about the exam or afterward and she was grateful for that. Esme had thought of everything down to socks and comfortable sports bras. She would have to thank her later, when they had a private moment. Someone had gone shopping for essentials such as a new toothbrush, toothpaste, mouthwash, shower gel, her favorite strawberry scented shampoo and conditioner, and pads since tampons were out of the question and there was still a little residual bleeding.

Just as she had everything right where it needed to go, there was a knock at the door and she ran to answer it, expecting it to be Edward. Instead, she found a strange man there. Bella instantly went into panic mode and her vision went into tunnel vision. She knew that he was saying something, but she couldn't tell what. All she knew was that he was three times her size and she couldn't find a weapon anywhere. She started backing into the room and he followed her in with his hands up, but the blood was rushing so hard into her ears that she couldn't hear him. Finally, she let out a blood curdling scream that brought every Cullen running. It was Carlisle who reached the man first and put his arm around the strange man's shoulder. Bella was in shock, inconsolable, unable to focus or function and had actually wet herself. Esme came over to her, put her hands on Bella's face, and forced her to look her in the eye.

"Bella! Bella! Calm down! It's the housekeeper! He was making sure Edward's room was moved around to his liking, to accommodate you. That's all. Nothing to be afraid of. Bella! Do you hear me?" Finally, after repeating that several times, Bella registered what Esme was saying and realized that all of the Cullens were standing around her, worried as she stood like a stone in a puddle of her own piss.

"God, I'm pathetic. Esme, everyone, I'm SO sorry. I-I-I…and she ran for the bathroom as fast as she could to turn on the water. She couldn't wait to get under the hot water and spray herself off again. Try to wash away the memories, the pain, the ways in which those assholes had screwed her up. All she wanted was her body, her mind, and her heart to be clean again.