Author's Note: I'm all kinds of sorry for the late update! I was in Maryland for a roller derby event all weekend and didn't get to post. Excuses, excuses - I know - but I can't promise it won't happen again. Sorry y'all! My roller derby season is in full effect so I'll be in other states pretty much six out of seven weeks until September. I know that's stiff, but we only have five to seven chapters left in this. I'm working on them as much as possible so that this'll never happen again. Happy St. Patty's day (in a few days) ans hopefully I'll see you next Friday. If not, next Monday for sure. Maybe I'll have to change my posting day. Anyway, enjoy!

~Tay

DISCLAIMER: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight and all things related to it. I just wanted Jasper. Sadly, he isn't mine either.

And the rest of my day is shit. I don't go meet Bella outside of her classes. I also try my damnedest not to look over at her in the classes we share.

I mean seriously, what the fuck is going on? One minute we're making plans to hang out this weekend, and then what? She realizes she'd rather spend time with the Sex Sisters? It doesn't make any sense and I don't even want to think about it anymore. I'm a motherfucking pro at nonchalance and I'll be damned if she knows she hurt me.

Yeah, she hurt my fucking feelings. I'm not a bitch for admitting it to myself either. Bella's my fucking girl, she's everything to me. How could I not be pissed?

The final bell rings and I hustle out of the building. I want to get as far from this fucking place as possible. I can't get into the parking lot fast enough.

"Jasper, wait up!" I should have known she'd track me down. Bella's running up behind me and I don't even know why I'm pretending I don't hear her. I can't deny her anything, doesn't she know that?

I stop, but don't turn. "What?" My small voice embarrasses me. I clear my throat. "What do you want?" That's better, even though I sound like an asshole.

She stops right behind me, but she's silent. I turn to face her, but look over her head. "Yes?" I drag out the word and make it sound like she's inconveniencing me. I mean, she kind of is, since I really don't want to do this.

I've got this bad feeling in my bones.

We're over; she's going to break up with me because she doesn't get to see her friends. And I'm being a dick because I can't fucking stop myself and she's going to break up with me.

How the fuck did this happen?

"Jasper. Just please, listen to me?" I look at her, right into her eyes. They're shining and sad and I did that to her. I'll feel like a dick if she cries, even if she breaks up with me. I never want to be the reason she's so sad.

And that's what I don't get: if she had an issue, why didn't she just tell me. We wouldn't be here right now, breaking up, if she had just told me!

"I'm listening." It's a half truth; I don't want to hear the words come from her mouth. They'll crush me, I know it. I'll look like a bitch, right here in the middle of the school parking lot, surrounded by students and cars, crying like a baby. Fuck! I can feel the burn in my throat and the sting in my eyes.

I swallow a few times.

"Look, Jasper, I just didn't want you to feel like you couldn't hang out with your friends." Bella's head dips down and I can see the droplets of tears darkening the blacktop as they hit.

I am such an asshole.

"I saw that you and Alec weren't talking anymore and it just felt like it was my fault. I mean, we have been spending a lot of time together and I can't remember the last time you went out with just the guys..." She's rambling, but I'm listening. I feel tense all over, bracing myself for impact. I know the words are coming, I can feel it.

Will she lie?

Will she say it's not me, it's her?

Will she bring up the sex talk we had?

Is it because I didn't dress up for spirit week?

Is it because I made fun of her adorably stupid hair?

It could be anything. My mind is conjuring up every shitty boyfriend thing it can think of.

Did I not call her enough?

Did we not spend enough time together?

Am I pressuring her into things she doesn't want to do?

Did I not listen to her enough?

Is this really because I didn't get my own pizza for lunch? I know it's farfetched, but girls are fucking weird. I thought she was joking, but maybe she wasn't. Crazier things have happened I'm sure.

"...so all I was really trying to say was that you don't have to feel bad if you don't want to hang out with me all the time. I won't be upset if you wanted to spend a weekend with the guys instead of me-"

"What?" What the hell is she talking about? "Why wouldn't I want to hang out with you?" Is that really what she's thinking, that I feel obligated to hang with her?

I tilt her chin up. She has tears in her eyes and she's biting her lip. I know her well enough to know that she's thinking about it. Fuck! She really believes I'd rather chill with my boys than her?

"You're utterly ridiculous, you know that?" I chuckle a little. It's out of pure relief. She's fucking adorable. And here I was thinking she was going to break up with me and she's thinking she's not good enough for me to spend time with? Fucking ridiculous.

I stroke her jaw with my fingers, leaning closer. "I'd rather hang out with you anytime." And it's the truth. I kiss her to try to make her believe me. It's closed-mouthed, but powerful. I even grip the back of her neck and pull her closer.

It might also have to do with the fact that I'm so fucking relieved I could do a happy dance.

I finally pull back, but kiss her forehead before resting mine against it. "Why would you think that?" It's a whisper, but even I can hear the desperation in it. I never want her to think something like that.

Bella shrugs and wraps her arms around my waist, tucking her head under my chin to hide her face. "I don't know." She sighs, but I know she's not done talking so I stay silent, stoking her back under my palms. "I just feel like a lot of things are changing around me." She grips me a little tighter at the end. I have no idea what it means, but I don't really care.

My girl still wants me.

But I have to make sure.

I pull her from around me, tilting her chin up. She pouts a bit so I kiss her before speaking. "You still want to hang this weekend, right?" I wanted to sound unaffected, but my voice is still weak. I feel like a chump so I clear my throat and try again, with added boredom. "I mean, we can do whatever, but I'm trying to party. It's been a while."

Bella bites her lip, but nods. "Sure. We can get into whatever." She brushes a lock of hair out of her face before continuing, resecuring her arms around my waist. "Besides, I really do like Esme. She's really nice." Her smile is meek, but it's a smile nonetheless.

I wrap my arms around her shoulders. "Good." I don't really know what to say so I just stand there. I don't even notice when I first start to rock her gently back and forth. She hums into my shoulder and I try not to smile too much.

The parking lot empties quickly as everyone filters from the school and into their cars. I don't really care about who's watching enough to stop holding my girl. She's mine and I'll do whatever I goddamn please.

Maybe that's why other couples are all over each other. I didn't really understand it before, the constant public displays of affection; the hand holding, hardcore kissing, the goofy smiles. But maybe I get it now. It seems that I have to check myself to look nonchalant more and more when I'm around Bella. I constantly want to touch her or kiss her or smile as bright as the fucking sun. I don't really know how it happened, but at some point she became everything to me.

It scares me a little, but not enough to stop. There's a feeling in my chest and I don't know how to get it out. It's hard and warm and the pressure is immense. It wants to come out in the form of words, but there's no way in hell I'm letting them out. We've only been together a few weeks and already I feel like it's been a lifetime.

Maybe it's because I've watched her for so long...

I don't really know the answer to the millions of questions in my mind. Instead, I stroke my girl's back and kiss the top of her head.

"Let's get out of here." I breathe it into the top of her head, rubbing her back with a bit more pressure.

Bella hums and nods against my chest. "Let's."

I lead her to my car. I'll think about this feeling another day.

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A/N: This isn't as short as the previous chapter, but isn't as long as the ones before that. There wll be more length soon though, so don't worry. Reviews are great so leave the with me!

~Tay

P.s. - I was also being a stinker with posting because I spent two days reading If on a Winter's Night by Touchstone67. It's great and it's slash. All human (of course) and simply effin' brilliant! Sadly, it isn't completed yet so you'll have to wait for updates, like me.