The Tegan Chronicles
Intuition and Lies 35
For two weeks Tegan had been going to all her physical therapy appointments, and hadn't missed another appointment with Dr. Tillman. She'd managed to finally tell Tilly what she remembered about the day she lost her arm. It really didn't help to talk about it, but whatever; she had to be cleared by the head doctor before she could return to work.
She still wasn't talking to Janet, but for some reason spent the evenings on the couch reading current medical texts and helping Cassie with any homework the teen brought to her. She was pretty sure Cassie was aware of the tension, but she never said as much.
At night she would wait until she was fairly certain Janet and Cassie were both sleeping soundly before she would creep downstairs on 'her side' of the duplex and work on whatever she needed to do. Most nights she'd move into the garage and force herself to do as many pullups, situps, and pushups as she could. She was trying to prepare for anything Senator McKenzie might throw her way. She knew he was capable of anything and she wouldn't put anything past him. Tonight however her stump was hurting more than it usually did, so she'd opted for something requiring less physical exertion.
She closed her eyes and centered her breathing , this was just as important as being able to pass the standardized physical fitness test.
"You can do this," she whispered to herself.
She looked at the instruments in her hands, two hemastats, expired black silk sutures, a banana lying on the table in front of her. "Well, here goes nothing."
The first suture ripped right through the yellow skin. "Damn it."
The hemastat in her left hand kept getting stuck in the closed position, but as soon as she switched hands it would work fine in her right hand, but then the set from her right hand would get stuck. She knew it was the prosthetic and not the tool. The second suture tore through and she growled. The third suture did the same. "Hell."
Eventually she'd messed up every part of the first banana she could find to stitch and pretty much went through the sailor's bible of swear words without a single successful suture. The second banana went no better and she was starting to realize her frustration was soon going to wake up Janet or Cassie, plus it wasn't helping her get any better.
She gathered her supplies and hid them in the bread box, just in case Janet woke up and came looking for her, before going out for a night run.
When she returned all the lights were out, and there was no sign anyone had awoken. She retrieved her supplies and started by trying to open and close the hemastat with her prosthetic. She growled when her first attempt failed. She closed her eyes and visualized doing it several times, and when she opened her eyes the jaws of the hemastat were open. She closed them and opened them again. The third time she concentrated on it a little too hard and found herself unable to open them. "Alright, don't over think it."
She opened them again and picked up the suturing silk while listening to one of her professors speaking in her head. "Remember human skin is pliant, but you must be gentle."
A smile spread across her face, she'd just done three single sutures, a running suture, and a whipstitch. With a week to go she might actually pull it off.
Knowing Janet and Cassie would be up soon she took the bananas to the other kitchen and peeled them. She tossed the insides into the blender and carefully hid the Frankenstein skins in a milk carton she found in the trash.
"Banana chocolate protein shake?" Tegan asked the sleepy-headed teen as she held up the blender.
"You didn't put raw eggs in it did you?"
"Just one scoop of protein powder.
"Alright."
Tegan glanced at Janet who was in the process of starting the coffee maker.
Janet shook her head. "You're up early."
Tegan shrugged before splitting the contents of the blender between two tall glasses.
"You look tired."
Tegan crossed her legs at the ankle.
"That was an opening for you to tell me why you're tired."
"I know, but you have to do better than that."
"How are things going?"
"They're going." Tegan looked at the orchid.
"That wasn't really an answer."
"It wasn't really a question." Tegan looked up into Tilly's pallid blue eyes. "Ask a proper question and you'll get a proper answer."
Tilly couldn't stop the right corner of her mouth from curling in a partially amused smile. "Alright, how's your arm feeling?"
"It hurts."
"Keeping you up?"
"Not exactly."
"What do you mean?"
"Damn you're good when you try." Tegan smiled weakly. "I haven't been doing a lot of sleeping. Three to four hours after Cassie goes to bed at night."
"What time does she go to bed?"
"2200 hours most nights, lights out at 2230."
"And you get up when?"
"2400, 0100, somewhere around there."
"Are you still working on showing Senator McKenzie up?"
"Something like that."
"How's it going?"
"I'm making progress. I should be able to pass the PFT without any problems."
"Did you ever stop to think that maybe, just maybe your team has it under control?"
"Yeah." Tegan thought for a second. "But what if they don't, or they think they do but it doesn't work. I can't let them take the fall for me."
"Have you talked to them?"
"No, they come over individually about once or twice a week."
"What do you talk about?"
"Nothing, it's usually a staring contest."
"Have you thought about forgiving them?"
"For lying to me?"
"I was thinking more about for letting that happen." Tilly pointed to her arm.
"They didn't let it happen." Tegan tried to read her, figure out where she was going with this before she could get there. It was like chess, she was never very good at chess.
"Right, but you still need to forgive them."
"I don't blame them."
"Maybe not, but did you ever think maybe they blame themselves. Maybe that's why they keep coming every week even when you won't speak to them."
"They're looking for absolution?"
"In a manner of speaking, yes. And you're the only one who can give it to them."