Author's Note: Sorry for the delay. I'll keep this short (my roller derby team is up 4 victories!) and just let you read. Big loves to Chewie4370 for getting on my ass to update this. I really am sorry it took me so long, I just really haven't had the time. I hope this chapter makes you love me a little more. The recap: Jasper and Bella are at Esme's party. Enter Esme's "pretty boy" brother, all bronze hair and green eyes *gasp!* Jasper doesn't like the way Edward is looking at his girl, especially after Edward makes it obvious that he likes what he sees. Sadly, Jasper can't do much about it as he's reminded that it's past curfew and he has to go home while Bella stays overnight with her friend and the greened-eyed threat. Le sigh, what will Jasper do? Let's see!
~Tay
DISCLAIMER: Stephenie Meyer owns everything related to Twilight. I own a dislocated knee cap and a bench seat until June. TOTALLY UNFAIR!
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I'm standing here inside foyer by the front door and all I can see is red. It's not even a mist or a twinge, its pure smog. I'm so fucking pissed off I can hardly contain myself. The party isn't even winding down yet, but Bella, Esme, Carlisle, and I are all saying our goodbyes as Clay and Edward bullshit a few feet away towards the stairwell. Clay's back is facing me so I have a clear view of Edward's face, and he's staring at me, smirking. The fucking prick.
I feel like I want to pummel him into the floor boards, straight through the foundation and right into the ground. My skin feels like it's alive. It's rolling and boiling and my hands are trembling damn near bad enough to shake my fingernails right off. I don't want to leave. I can't leave...
...but I have to. Fucking hell, I'm hating this.
Bella breaks through the red haze. "And you'll come with Carlisle tomorrow to pick me up?" Her hands are on my chest as her hips press into mine, her eyes staring up into my face. Although I haven't really seen her drinking, she must have had one or two - she would never be this bold without alcoholic assistance, right? But either way, it instantly calms me...for the most part.
I snake my arms around her waist to pull her closer, but Carlisle chimes in before I can answer. "Actually, I have to have a family brunch before we drive Clay back to school." He turns to face me with an apologetic shrug. "Hope you don't mind making the trip by yourself."
I shrug one shoulder right back. "It's cool man. I got it." I look back down at Bella. "When do you want me?" I place small kisses along her face and neck, hoping she picks up on the innuendo.
Bella's hands rake across my chest as she sighs softly. Her voice is a whisper that tickles my ear and sends shivers straight to my dick. We're standing so close together. "When's too early for you?"
"I'll be here whenever you want me." And it's the fucking truth. I swear I'd just camp out in the driveway all night if I had my own car with me.
I can't stop myself from kissing Bella a little bit more than what is considered socially appropriate. It's partly because I want her to know that she's my everything and that I'll be thinking about her while I'm gone, and it's partly because I want Edward to know the same thing. Whatever the more powerful driving force is, it still sucks when Clay smacks his hands together loudly to get everyone's attention and complains that his mother is calling again. I had forgotten that we were already late. Shit!
Our three friends -and the shithead - make their way to the front door for a final-final goodbye and I steal a few more moments alone in the foyer with Bella. Breaking my lips away from her with a sigh, I rest my forehead against hers. "Call me when you're close to being finished cleaning. I'll get here by the time you two are done." I stroke my palms along her back. I don't want to say goodbye.
She just gazes up at me like she has something else to say, but can't find the words. It makes me nervous so I ramble a bit to fill the silence. "And maybe since we're up here we can...I don't know, get some lunch? Maybe check out the scene in The Port. You know, since we're here. The movie theater isn't too far from here. We could do that too. You know, if you like, want to."
Bella's light chuckle and swift kiss shuts me up and I can't help but to sigh through my nose, long and low across her face with my eyes closed. I feel like such a moron. I have this barely concealed tension and don't even know what to do or say to her right now. It's like there are all these feelings inside of me -possession, protection, desire, fear, wanting, longing- and I don't know if I can let her know I feel them.
"Sorry." I offer lamely, quietly. I'm not quite sure if I'm apologizing for the rambling or if I feel bad about never knowing what the right thing to say is.
"Shh," Bella shushes me. "I'll miss you too." Something about the absolute certainty in her voice makes my chest feel tight and heavy, yet feather light. I have the urge to say something to her -spit out some more feelings in hopes that the pressure will cease- but I don't know if it's more rambling that wants to spew forth instead.
She kisses me again swiftly when a throat clearing interrupts our moment. I don't need to look up to know who it is. I kiss Bella's lips again anyway. I even go as far as to rest my head in the crook of her neck and shoulder, inhaling deeply and kissing that spot too as I pull her tighter to my body, wanting to be able to carry her around with me everywhere that I go. Yeah, I must be pretty drunk.
"Don't worry Jazz." I don't like the way the fucker says my name. "I'll keep an eye on your girl and make sure she gets back to you. Good as new. For the most part."
I'm one hundred percent sure he whispered the last part for only me to hear, but Bella's head whips around and her brow furrows, as if she isn't sure she heard him right.
"I'm sure you will." I barely mask my voice to sound unaffected by the dickhole's comment. It doesn't quite come off though because Bella looks back up at me with wide brown eyes, drowning me with unasked questions. I just close my eyes and shake my head slightly, kissing her troubles away lightly.
"Tomorrow." I direct at Bella. "Anytime." I raise my eyebrows as I extract myself from her. She isn't letting me go and it makes me smile. I even croak out a little laugh. And yeah, I kiss her again.
The car horn blares swiftly as I step through the door onto the front porch. Carlisle even flashes his high beams at me. I flick him off and make a slow procession downt he steps just to be an ass. Esme's slumped towards the driver's side window anyway; he can't be in that big of a hurry.
My insides are all torn up. I simultaneously hope it is and isn't the alcohol that's making me feel like this. I can't even describe it. It's so much worse than when I knew Bella had me all caught up. It's like, I feel stretched thin the further and further I get from her. Like, no matter how close she is, she isn't close enough. It's like I can't breath when she's near me, but I'm suffocating when she's too far. My head and stomach are in knots -deliciously torturous and agonizingly awful knots.
I don't even make it to the side of the car before I hear Bella call my name. I turn around just in time to catch her as she barrels into my arms.
"I miss you already." Her words are a breath of life, clearing my head and easing the pain in my stomach and chest.
I wrap her up tightly to me, rocking her slowly from side to side. She feels so good, so right. Suddenly, there's a lump in my throat and I need to clear it. It feels like a sigh, but it comes out as words.
"I love you." The sentiment wisps from my lips and I pull Bella closer as my head spins and my stomach bottoms out. I feel like I'm going to hurl. That can't be right. I couldn't have just said that. A part of me hopes she didn't hear, but there's another part too. I really don't know what that one wants. Well, I don't know what it wants until I feel Bella's arms tighten around me and her lips connect with the side of my neck.
"Love you too, Jasper." My tense muscles relax. I didn't even know how much I wanted her to say the words back. Now that she has though, it feels so goddamn right. "And I'll get to bed now." She pulls back to look over her shoulder before looking into my eyes. "It's late anyway and I want to get the cleaning done so we can go to that lunch, or whatever."
There's a small smile on her lips and her face is beet red. She's beautiful.
And she loves me. Bella loves me.
I kiss her again because she loves me.
I squeeze her tight because she loves me.
I smile as I sink into the back seat because she loves me.
I wave as we drive away because she loves me.
I blow a kiss out of the back window when I see Edward smirk as he closes the front door behind him and my girl. I can't find it in me to feel threaten by him. Bella is my every thing. She's shy and beautiful and fun and sweet and she loves me.
Carlisle keeps glancing at me in the rearview mirror on the drive home. I must look like an idiot. My cheeks are already hurting from smiling too much and it's only been twenty minutes.
"What?" I can't convince my voice to sound pissed off.
"So...you love her, huh?" I can see the mirth reflected within his eyes. I guess my declaration wasn't as quiet as I hoped. Fuck it, nothing can get me down at this point. Not even the snickers I hear coming from Clay in the front passenger seat.
I just shrug them off; they're just jealous. "What's not to love?" Now that I've said the 'L' word, it's all I can think about.
Carlisle just nods and gives me a break, returning his focus to the road. It's only the way Clay says "yeah" as he turns to stare out of the passenger side window that makes my stomach dip.
Yeah, she is beautiful, anyone can see that. Anyone who holds a conversation with her can tell she's intelligent and caring. There isn't a single thing about Bella that I don't like. I mean, as far as I know.
But what do I really know about her? I know she loves her school, her friends, and even my friends. I know she loves her dad and to help others any way that she can. I know she's kind of clumsy and is easily embarrassed. I know she dresses exactly how she feels and I know that even if she doesn't like someone, she won't completely ignore them. I know she loves dresses, but doesn't wear them often and that she wouldn't be caught dead in a skirt. I know that she's ambitious and that she actually loves to learn. I know she's strong willed and - though it might take her a while to build the courage -she always speaks her mind. But is all of that enough? Are all of those random facts enough to determine whether you love someone?
"So is it mutual?" I look up to spot Carlisle peeking back at me through the rearview mirror again. I don't know how long I zoned out into my brain, but I'm thankful for the distraction. Everything had suddenly seemed so complicated.
Carlisle's question finally registers to me and I sigh before I answer. "Yeah. It is." And it's like a light bulb goes off because I not only answered his question, but I answered mine as well. It's definitely enough. "She loves me and I love her." And it's as simple as that.
The rest of the drive I bask in the glow of knowing I'm loved. It feels wonderful. I can't even get too upset when I get grounded for a week for breaking curfew. Screw it. Bella loves me.
I plop into my bed and peek at my cell phone for the time. There's a little icon on the screen notifying me to a text.
I love you, Jasper. See you tomorrow.
*heart* Bella
I type out a reply and set my alarm, smiling as I drift off to sleep.
I love you, too. I can't wait.
:) Jasper
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A/N: Soooooo, did I make up for disappearing? Thanks for all the reviews and encouragement. I got a jump in alerts these past few weeks, who's been rec'ing me out? If you spot me somewhere, lemme know. Also, there's a review of a series of mine, 'Marriage: In All Its Splendor' written by the awesome CharliDenae over at www(dot)thewritterscoffeeshop(dot)com/news(dot)php?readmore=565 (and yes, that question mark is totally supposed to be there). Read MIAIS if you love a bit of Jalice in your life and a lot of funny. There is also smutty love making in that one as well. Leave some love or hate and I'll catch you ladies in a few weeks, now that I'm all injured and whatnot. Blue review buttons ice swollen joints!
~Tay
Rec P.s. - 'In Your World' by solostintwilight is only 5 chapters in and totally owning my soul. Virgin Bella runs away from abusive boyfriend Jake. She finds herself seeking shelter in an Amish community with the Cullen family. She learns what love really is by helping and observing this simplistic little world and falls in love with it, amongst other things. I know what you're thinking, but yes, these are real Amish people and it is so effin' rad and well written! Bella is a deep and well developed character before the first chapter is even complete.
And if the Amish aren't your thing, check out 'Hallett Hall' by jaxington. On the first night of college, Bella Swan drunkenly stumbles into Edward Cullen's dorm room by mistake. There friendship starts off rocky (and barely a friendship at all, especially when the fucking starts) and it takes six years and two disappearances by Bella herself to bring them together again. Will it be too late to bring the band of friends together again. Is Bella's needy yet flighty personality finally worn the close-knit family to sever all ties? I am fucking dying on this one. It's far more angsty than I like, but still hilarious. I'm pretty sure they have the most canon personality Alice and Emmett of any all-human story I've read in a long time.
~Tay