I've been gone a long time, but I'll try my best to stay up to date and finish this. Thanks for sticking around if you're still here, but I get it if it's been too long. Enjoy.

~Tay

DISCLAIMER: Steph owns all

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I expect my mind to race and twirl with all the new emotions revealed tonight, but it doesn't. I sleep like a baby, contented and happy. I suspect the alcohol has something to do with that, though.

When I wake up my parents try to ground me for coming in too late last night, but I remind them that I didn't drive and had no control over when the car left the party. They let it slide just this once.

It's a good thing too because there is no way they can stop me from going to get Bella when she calls. My stomach drops in urgency just thinking about her and why I need to get to her.

Time doesn't move fast enough. Alec calls me, but I don't pick up until the second time. He calls me a pussy when I tell him I have plans with Bella. I don't know what his problem is, so I just hang up like it doesn't suck that he's being a bitch.

I occupy my mind by trying to imagine ways to choke out Edward then have rough and tumble sex with Bella as the spoils of my victory. It's a little fucked up, but it's good masturbation material – which I use until my phone notifies me of a text from Bella around noon.

I speed the whole way to Esme's.

Hands shaking, I barely notice the sweat on my upper lip as I arrive in the driveway. My mind is running rampant. I'm not totally sure why I'm nervous, but I think it's because I'm not exactly sure what I'll find when I open that door to get Bella. I mean, I know we said we loved each other last night, but that was last night. And, who knows what that Edward guy did to try to get my girl after I was out of sight.

I slowly climb the stairs to the porch, a war waging within myself. I trust my girl, I really do, but what if she finally realized I'm not worth it. Don't girls want grand gestures when you tell them you love them? All I managed to do was drunkenly mumble it.

Shit! And it wasn't like I was really trying to say it, either. It just kind of slipped out. I'm such a fucking loser!

Bella probably confided in Edward after I left. I bet the fucker consoled her, too. He probably told her how college guys are better and –

The door swinging open ends my mental meltdown. Who knows how long I've been standing here poised and ready to knock, hand caught midair while my mind rebelled and gutted me. I smoothly relax my raised fist and run it though my hair. So she doesn't think I'm a spastic loser, or whatever.

"Jasper! You're here!" My girl's excited to see me and suddenly I feel stupid for ever doubting that. I scoop her up in a hug.

I even twirl her and shit because I can.

I hope Edward sees it.

"I love you, I missed you." I go ahead and get that out of the way. If I had thought about it and waited to say it I probably would have psyched myself out. Yeah, it's much better to just get it over with.

Bella smiles and ducks her head down to my chest, placing a lingering kiss there before looking into my eyes. Her arms are still around my neck and my hands have settled on her hips. It's comfortable, easy.

"I love you, too," she says, pecking at my lips gently.

"I missed you, too," she whispers as her hands rub along the tops of my shoulders and through the hair at the nape of my neck, calming and burning me simultaneously.

"I'm glad you're here. Edward is such an asshole." And that shit tenses me right the fuck up. I want to smash his face into oblivion. I want to break his body until he's unrecognizable.

"What the fuck did he do?" And I can't even bring myself to be pissed that I just dropped an 'F' bomb in front of Bella.

My face must be murderous because Bella tries to take a step back. I don't let her, of course, but it's obvious she's trying to get a read on me.

"N-nothing, really. He's just an asshole." Her eyes roll to the sky and it makes me smile how palpable her distaste for him is.

I still want to obliterate him, but at least I'll be smiling when I do it.

"But what did he do?" I have to ask because it'll drive me crazy. I need to know what happened when I wasn't here. It's not that I don't trust Bella; it's that I don't trust Edward. I saw enough of his actions at the party to know that he thinks he's God's gift to women and the other girls were eating that shit up. It was sickening. Especially considering that my whole nonchalant act is just a pee-wee league version of his entire attitude. And that doesn't sit well with me at all.

I grip Bella tighter.

She blows out a puff of annoyed air. "L-like I said, it was nothing…" But I can tell she's trying to convince herself as well – her stutter giving her away. Another gentle squeeze to her hips gets her talking again, though. "He was j-just…saying things, and l-looking at me, I guess. I just–" Another huff. "I didn't like it. I could tell he was trying to make fun of me or something. But I don't get why…"

She looks at me and I'm at a loss. I mean, how do I tell her he was doing it to get to me? Maybe that's conceited sounding, but isn't that exactly what he was doing? I don't fucking know, but it made Bella uncomfortable enough to call him an asshole so that's reason enough for me to kick his ass.

"Where is he?" I try to make my voice sound calm, but even I don't believe me. I flick my head to get some of my blonde hair out of my face… and to make it seem like I don't give a shit.

Bella's face scrunches up like she knows what I'm thinking, but I hope not.

"He went with his friends to some important thing. Which was a total lie, though! They just didn't want to help us clean up the mess that their friends made." She looks so ruffled and indignant. It's fucking cute. I nuzzle her hair to stop myself from smiling too big. "It took Esme and me all morning just to get the beer smell out of the basement."

As if summoned by her name, Esme peers out of the open doorway. I hadn't even noticed we were still on the front porch. Her orangey hair is everywhere and she looks just as flustered as Bella. I smile and nod to her as Bella turns around in my arms to face her.

"Did you get the last of the trash?"

Esme rubs at her hands and forearms, but nods. "Yeah, it's all hidden in the tree line on the side of the house. I'll get my friend Mark to bring his pickup and haul it away later. I can't believe it was so much!"

Bella nods in agreement, grimacing as she rubs her forearms as well. I guess it was heavy or something. I rub small circles at the base of her spine with my thumbs to help work out any tension.

And because I want to touch her.

Bella sags in appreciation and Esme eyes me with a wicked twinkle lighting her face. "So, loverboy, you two off to enjoy your day-date?"

It's a hard fought victory to keep my blush at bay, but I don't want to look like a pussy so I contain it.

I have to clear my throat a little, though. "Yeah, we're going to grab some lunch and a movie, maybe?" I squeeze Bella's waist and she turns around to face me in my arms. I can see remnants of her own blush fading from her cheeks. I arc an eyebrow to let her know that the final decision is up to her.

"Yeah, sounds great." I'm rewarded with a smile and my chest does that heavy-light thing again. It makes me want to tell her I love her some more.

"Well," Esme interrupts, "Everything here is all done and if you go eat now you should be able to catch a matinee time still."

Bella keeps looking at me as she bites her lip. I know her well enough now – I love her – so I know that means she's thinking about it. I wonder what's changed her mind. I hope I didn't do anything wrong in the last few seconds…

I decide to just ask. As pussy as it sounds, my heart can't take not knowing. "What's up?" I whisper it as I tilt my head, mentally begging her not to back out.

"I just…really need to take a shower." I sigh in relief. "I can't believe I'm touching you right now, I smell disgusting!" She looks horrified as she says the last part.

It's cute as shit.

I give her a once over for the first time. Her hair is in a high bun and she's in simple jeans and a tee. I don't see anything wrong with her outfit and it must show on my face.

"I've been wading through beer bottles and cigarette butts." She blows a few loose strands of hair from her face. "I'd rather be a little more…fresh."

Something about the way she says it makes my dick hard.

Maybe it's the way her eyes cut to the side.

Maybe it's the way her hands grip the front of my shirt a little tighter.

Maybe it's the way a faint pinking raises to her cheeks.

Maybe the fucking wind just blew weird. I have no fucking idea, but if she wants to freshen up for me, I won't complain.

My fingers twitch on her waist just thinking about it.

Esme must feel the sexual tension radiating out of me because she huffs. "Just come in and grab a shower, Bella. Jasper can watch TV, or something."

She opens the door wider and Bella kisses my cheek quickly before darting up the stairs, two at a time. I enter more slowly, trying not to be an emotional pussy when I walk through the foyer where we were so cuddly last night. Instead, when I see Esme eyeing me as she enters behind me, I clear my throat and walk through like it's nothing.

Because I'm a guy and that sentimental stuff is for girls.

I don't even make it to the couch before Esme starts in on me, though. I didn't even notice she was right next to me.

"So, Bella says you guys are in love."

I plop down in the center of the couch and kick my feet to the table top. I don't want to talk to her about this. Just because she's Carlisle's girl doesn't make us best friends. I exhale real loud and slow so she knows I'm annoyed.

Then, I change the subject.

"What's up with your brother?" I do my best to sound bored. I even search for the remote control in the couch cushions. I know it's rude to not even be looking at her while I'm talking to her, but I can't let her see how pissed off that guy makes me.

Esme moves to a chair across the room. She picks up the remote from an end table and tosses it my way. I barely catch it before it clonks me in the head. "What about him? He's my brother." Her shrug at the end makes her seem so indifferent. I don't have any choice but to drop the subject or I'll look too interested.

I stretch my arms along the back of the couch while I drop my head back, remote forgotten and body completely relaxed. Well, that's the look I'm going for anyway.

"So," Esme tries again. "You love Bella?"

I don't like her persistence. Why does she want to know about Bella and me, anyway? I mean, I guess girls are like that, though. She probably wants to know if I just said it because I was drinking or if I really meant that shit. I guess Esme and Bella have gotten really close over the past few weeks; I can see her wanting to look out for her new friend. Bella rarely talks to Kachiri or Sasha any more, anyway, since she's either with me or Esme. Not like the Sex Sisters were all that close in the first place, but still…

Of course, I fucking meant it.

But…

But what happens if I tell her how much I mean it? A part of me wants to tell everyone how much I love Bella, adore her. I've liked her for so long, fantasized about her being mine for so fucking long. I've studied her and memorized her mannerisms and everything about her from why she'll never wear beige, to what it means when she wears a scarf. I mean, I've made a few mistakes; like, disregarding her school spirit and underestimating her perceptiveness, but that doesn't mean that I don't really know her…does it?

All of the doubts makes my head hurt so I just nod absently, scratching the back of my neck because it's suddenly hot in here.

Esme opens her mouth –probably to tell me I'm delusional and not in love – but quickly closes it when Bella scrambles to the top of the stairs, apparently after the world's quickest shower. Or, maybe I was sitting there thinking for too long?

I don't know, but what I do know is that Bella's hair's still all wet and moistening the shoulders of her deep blue tank-tunic-thing, making it look almost black. It has a metallic gold design on the front that kind of looks like a roaring lion's head, or something. She has on those skin tight black leggings that cut off mid-calf and some strappy golden sandals, too. Something about the outfit and the way she's smiling and how she's still all wet – like she couldn't fucking wait to see me – has me hard as a rock.

Completely forgetting about Esme, I smile at Bella. It isn't too big, but big enough that she knows I'm glad she's mine. She comes down the stairs and it's hard to pretend that I don't want to jump up to greet her.

"So," Bella says it all breathless as she skips down the steps. "You ready to go?" She looks back and forth between me and Esme, eyes narrowing. I just shrug and sweep my arm out towards the front door. It makes me feel completely caught up, but I'm pretty much speechless. She just does that to me.

"Don't forget about your stuff." Esme has a good point and Bella goes loping up the steps to grab her overnight bag after a quick peek to my cheek.

Esme turns to me. "You didn't answer my question." She's persistent as hell and I want to be pissed off, but I can't.

Instead I just wheeze out an annoyed sigh and turn to face her fully. "Yep." I even pop the 'P' at the end, just to be a dick.

Instead of being aggravating with me she just smirks like she knows I'm just an act. I don't know whether to be pissed or relieved; it'd be nice to not have to front someone, even if it's just Carlisle's girl.

We stand in an awkward silence until Bella gets back down the stairs. I sling my arm over her shoulders as I lead her outside to my car. I even open the door for her so Esme doesn't think I'm a total asshole.

"Call me!" Esme yells from the still open front door. Bella waves in acknowledgement before I walk around and slip into the driver's side.

I put the car in reverse and half watch where I'm going and half look at Bella. "So, are you ready?"

Ready for the date?

Ready for me?

Ready for us?

She grabs up my hand from the shifter and puts it in her lap, clasping it in both of her hands. "Yeah, definitely." And she smiles so big that I think we'll be okay, at least for another day.

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