I'm so sorry if this chapter is too short, I had a little scare with my Snowie-kun escaping. I thought I lost him TT~TT But he's back home now and is sitting in my lap all happily. I realize that this chapter might be filler. I'm sorry if it is. It will pick up in the next chapter ^^ I love the reviews you guys give me. They motivate me a lot :D Don't hesitate to yell at me for mistakes. I don't mind. It helps me improve. Anyway, back to the story!
At dinner Shiro sits next to his mother and Kuro sits next to me, which basically means that Izaya and I don't sit together. It irks me because I we hardly spend time together, alone or otherwise. We don't talk too much either since every time we do, we get into an argument. It's difficult because we were once so close and now we're struggling to make our relationship last. It's not like we'd ever think of divorcing especially now because of the kids, but we're just not doing well.
Kuro pokes at his food nervously, probably feeling the tension in the air between his mother and me. Kuro is a mood sensor while Shiro is a lie detector. Kuro usually doesn't do well when he's around people who give off negative energy. Shiro can tell when someone's lying, whether it's Kuro, Izaya, or me. It's hard to keep secrets from him.
Shiro isn't bothered by the tension though. He eats his food calmly and then picks up his plate to put it in the sink. Kuro finishes his food a little more slowly, but before he takes his plate he tugs at my sleeve and tells me he wants to whisper something to me.
"You should apologize to mommy." He whispers into my ear and makes a pleading face at me. I smile and tell him that me and Izaya are gonna have ourselves a little talk and that he should go upstairs. He nods and heads upstairs with a smile. Shiro, however doesn't leave. He usually waits for Izaya to finish his food and then clings onto him until bedtime. Sometimes not even bedtime pries Shiro away from his mother. More often than not, he'll crawl into bed with us and I think you can tell what that means. Yeah, that means no sex. Not like we have sex anyway since we had the kids and they're always home. They don't have friends to visit or have sleepovers with yet since they don't go to school yet. Shiro is expected to go this year in the fall, while Shiro is attending next year.
"Shiro…could you leave me and your mother alone for a bit so we can talk privately?" I ask as I pick up my plate and Izaya's and put it in the sink. I rinse off the grim and wait to hear Shiro's answer.
"No…" He says simply. "I want to be with mommy. He's been gone all day."
"Just let your father and I talk for a little while, Shiro. I'll go upstairs and play with you afterwards. I promise." Izaya says as he pats Shiro's head. Our son nods and then heads upstairs solemnly. He turns his head and glares at me before disappearing into his room, shutting the door a little too roughly.
"Did you see that?" I ask him as I sit down gloomily. "He hates me." I say as I rub my temples. Izaya gets out of his chair and sits next to me, rubbing my back lovingly as he leans closer. "I'm sorry for what I said earlier…I just…" I suddenly feel his lips on mine. God, it's been a while since I've kissed him like this. I hold onto him and we deepen the kiss. He closes his eyes and moans into the kiss before pulling away and nuzzling his head under my chin like he used to. "W-what w-was that f-for?" Damn, now I have a stuttering problem.
"I've missed you…" He says simply. "I'm really sorry about…everything…"
"You don't have to apologize." I say as I run my fingers through his hair. I take his hand and rub my thumb over the wedding ring that's identical to mine. I remember the engraving I had ordered to put on his. It reads "Love you always" whereas mine reads "Love you forever." So, we usually say that we love each other "always and forever" whenever the kids aren't around.
"I don't want to fight with you about this…" Izaya says as sighs. "It's not either of our faults that things have turned out this way…Maybe we should spend more time with them…You know…separately."
"Seperately?"
"Well, I take Kuro to work with me while you take Shiro with you. How about that?" Izaya asks as he looks at me with a smile. "That way Shiro can get used to you. Obviously everything that we've tried up until now hasn't been working…"
"Yeah…I'll give it a shot then." I say with a hopeful smile. "Look…I'm really sorry about what I said..." He leans closer to me and puts his arms around me. "I love you…you know that right?"
"I know. I love you too. Always?"
"And forever." I say as I look at him with a smile before kissing him passionately. Izaya puts his arms around me and moans into the kiss, but as we're about to pull away and then kiss again, I see Shiro standing close by watching us patiently. "Shiro!" I say as I wipe my mouth. Izaya turns around and nervously looks at Shiro.
"What are you guys doing…?" He asks curiously as he gets closer to Izaya and clings onto his shirt.
"Ah, well, your father and I were just…talking…" Izaya says nervously as he pats Shiro's head.
"Looks like you guys were kissing." Shiro says as he nuzzles his head against Izaya's chest. "Can you read me a bedtime story…like you do every night?" Izaya nods and takes our son's hand before walking to the stairs. Before ascending, he looks over to me and mouths "Be right back." I sigh and then head to the living room.
Izaya's POV
I don't think that Shiro is a bad kid. Kuro isn't either. But, Shiro has some sort of problem with his father. Although Kuro prefers to be around his father, he doesn't ignore my existence or dislike me as Shiro seems to avoid and dislike his father. I've been trying to reason with Shiro, trying to ask him what his reason is for acting the way he does towards Shizu-chan, but he always ignores my questions that involve him.
Our fighting usually is about Shiro, but it's not his fault. We're just accustomed to fighting to solve our problems. I remember when I was pregnant with Shiro, Shizu-chan and I would fight a lot since I had unimaginable mood swings. I also had weird cravings and then got stretch marks, which I still have. Every morning I'd complain to Shizu-chan about me gaining a pound or a couple pounds. One time I even checked the scale and told Shizu-chan I had gained fifty pounds; turns out that I hadn't put the scale to zero before I stepped on it.
"Son, can you do me a favor?" I ask as I sit next to him as he finds a book in the bookshelf that I haven't read to him yet. He looks at me and nods enthusiastically. "Can you behave for your father tomorrow? I told him that you're gonna be going with him for the entire day tomorrow, so I don't want you causing him trouble. Got it?"
"But mom…I…"
"Son, promise me." I ask him seriously. "I won't read you a story until you promise." He hesitates for a moment and then presses his book against him shyly before nodding.
"I promise…" Shiro finally says sadly. He looks so much like Shizu-chan, but such an expression wouldn't look right on Shizu-chan's face.
"Good, you're father has a day off tomorrow so you two can have all kinds of fun." Shiro sighs and nods in understanding before tugging at my shirt so I can follow him to his bed. I tuck him into bed and take the book so that I can read it to him. Shizu-chan tried to read Shiro a story once, but Shiro complained that he wasn't doing it right. He insisted that I be the one to always read him a story, whether it be from a book or something I make up. If he asks me for a made up story I usually take bits and pieces of my life with Shizu-chan and make it into a story I call "The wolf and the rabbit." I'm the rabbit since I'm so cute and Shizu-chan is the hungry wolf. Although in retrospect, maybe Shizu-chan should be the rabbit since he's so horny.
After I read Shiro a story I turn off the lights and close the door slowly. He's already in bed and seems to have put his head down, so I'm hoping he'll sleep. Kuro on the other hand is a hassle for me. If it's me, he'll do anything in his power to make me struggle, so he'll be one of the kinds of kids who bounce around the room and refuse to go to bed. With Shizu-chan, he's completely obedient and when told, he'll rush over into his bed and stay there. It's not that he hates me, but seeing as I seem to be the one who always gets my way, and he knows this, he likes to turn the tables and see how I like when I'm not in control.
I walk over to Kuro's room and open the door slightly and see that he's already sound asleep, tucked in and everything. He's holding onto his favorite stuffed animal, a cute fairly large pig. I walk over carefully and bend down to comb his hair with my fingers, removing strands away from his face. He stirs a little and then opens his sleepy eyes.
"Goodnight mommy." He whispers softly as he takes my hand. "Love you." I smile and lean over to kiss his forehead.
"Goodnight. I love you too." I say before turning on his nightlight (he's still afraid of the dark). I close the door softly and then sigh. I hardly get to see both of my children because of my job. And what's worse is that Shizu-chan is left with Shiro who doesn't cooperate with him too easily. Usually, we have to leave the kids with Shinra and Celty, so they hardly see us during the day. Maybe that's why they're clingy? I don't really want this become a tragedy for our family. I don't want it to turn out like I saw in this one program where my children will start calling Celty mommy. I also want to straight out Shiro and Shizu-chan relationship. We're supposed to be a family.
"Thanks for tucking Kuro in." I say happily as I enter my bedroom I share with Shizu-chan.
"Yeah, no problem." Shizu-chan says as he changes the channel on the TV. "Shiro's in bed right?"
"Yeah, I don't know for how long." I say as I go under the covers and run my fingers through my hair. "How many nights has it been now?"
"Twelve." Shizu-chan says simply. "He can't keep doing this and you can't keep encouraging him by letting him."
"I'm not letting him…it's just that when I look at how heartbroken he is when I say no, I just can't stop myself from saying yes." I say as I put the pillow over my head. "I'm not heartless…"
"Of course you're not; but you should be a little bit assertive." Shizu-chan says as he takes the pillow away from my face. "
"Easy for you to say, you're all about disciplining him." I say as I turn off my lamp on my side.
"Yeah and you spoil him." He retorts angrily. "I don't want to argue with you again…but if you're gonna let him—" Shizu-chan stops and looks towards the door, which has been opened. Shiro shyly comes in to stand at the door and silently asks permission to sleep with us. Twelve nights now, huh? I've asked Shiro if anything's been bothering him, but he's not much of a talker when it comes to problems he has. I swear that he's as stubborn as his father. They might not get along, but they sure are alike in the little things they do. They just don't realize it.
"Come here Shiro." I say as I sit up and turn my lamp back on. I can feel Shizu-chan glaring at the back of my head. Shiro walks over without paying much attention to his father. "Look Shiro, I want you to stay in your bed tonight…this has been too many nights that you've been over here."
"Does mommy not love me anymore?" He asks as he holds onto his blanket solemnly.
"No, no, no it's not that." I say as I bring him into my lap. "I love you a lot and so does your father." When I added the "your father" part he flinched and glanced over to Shizu-chan as if he was a threat. "But…I think it's best if you sleep in your bed from now on." I run my fingers through his hair and hold him tightly in my arms. God, it hurts so much when I hear him say that he thinks I'd ever hate him.
"Alright…" He finally agrees as he gets off and slowly heads off to his bedroom. "Goodnight mommy…"
"Goodnight Shiro." I say as I watch him drag his way back to his bedroom. Not even a "goodnight" for his father. It really is a problem. He will barely look at Shizu-chan. Well, tomorrow they'll spend the whole day together so I'm hoping that that will help.
I lie back down and look over to Shizu-chan who's looking like something just tugged at his heartstrings.
"I thought you said to be more assertive." I say with a laugh. "It looks like you're heart just broke."
"It's nothing…" He says as he covers himself and turns away from me. I snake my arms around his waist and place my head at the crook of his neck, waiting for him to turn around. After a couple seconds he does turn around and wrap his arms around me. "I'm sorry I made you do that…"
"It's alright…it's been a while since we've held each other like this in bed." I say as I nuzzle my head under his chin. "It's also been a while since we've had sex."
"Yeah…" Shizu-chan says as he blushes. "Maybe next weekend we could send the kids off to Shinra's to spend the night?"
"You read my mind." I say happily as I start drifting off to sleep.
"I better not do that again…your mind is freaking insane." Shizu-chan says with a laugh. "Goodnight." He says before kissing my forehead.
"Goodnight."
A/N: Naughty parents :3 Anyway, thank you for all of those reading and those of you reviewing. I really appreciate it. Please review! And if you have any suggestions, things you want to see in future chapters or something. i shall try my best to fufill your wishes. I will also give credit to the idea I use :D I will put little flashbacks of when Izaya was pregnant so YAY XD Anyway, until the next chapter!