I really am sorry I hadn't updated yesterday. I'm getting slowed down lately. My obessession is sort of the cause, but it's also because I'm doing other projects and whatnot. I'll hopefully be back with updating everday soon. I'm sorry if this really discourages people, but I'm not giving up with story so don't worry ^^ I'm just being really slow...Anyway, I hope you all enjoy and please tell me what you think. I'm getting having a bit of trouble since I think I'm getting writer's block, so ideas of what you guys want to read or whatever would be helpful and I'll try to incorporate it in my story somehow and I'll give you credit! Just PM me the idea so the other people don't read the review and know what will happen next XD
Izaya's POV
I would never say that any of my children are demons, but Kuro sure knows how to make someone's life hellish. I couldn't get much work done with him around and so the whole time I've been at the office I've been trying to make Kuro obey me, which hasn't worked out so well as far as I can tell. Right now he's sitting in the corner of the room kicking his feet playfully.
"Oi flea, we've brought…" Shizu-chan enters my office, which isn't really an office anymore what with all the books tossed around, papers on the floor, pen marks everywhere, a black patch of carpet missing from the small fire we had, and my computer glowing bright blue. "What the hell happened here?"
"Kuro happened…" I say as I feel drained of all my energy. I smack my head on my desk and try to take a nap. This day isn't even over yet…It's only two o'clock.
"Oh…"
"Hi Daddy!" Kuro says happily as I watch him attach himself to Shizu-chan's leg. "Being with Mommy is a lot of fun. He makes funny faces when I play." By "play" I'm sure he means "make trouble" and I do not make funny faces. "Did you bring us lunch?"
"Yeah, this one's for you." Shizu-chan says as he hands a bento for Kuro and then approaches me. Shiro and Kuro talk amongst themselves, probably about their day. If anyone asked me how my day was, I'd probably fling a knife at their head. Shizu-chan places the bag with two last bentos on my desk and smiles at me as he puts a hand on my shoulder. Ah, just the fact that he's touching me makes me feel comforted.
"You alright?" He asks as he brings a chair to my desk and sits close to me. I shake my head and run my fingers through my hair tiredly. "I didn't think so since you look so terrible." I push him playfully and smile at him. "Hang in there; it's only two more hours. Besides, he's your son. You don't want to just give up on him, do you?"
"No…of course not…" I say exhaustedly as I sigh. "Kuro and I did have fun, but it's was just too much fun for me." I say honestly as I take my bento out of the bag and begin eating my fatty tuna, which makes me feel even better.
"So…what are the costs of the damages?" Shizu-chan asks courageously. I laugh a little and then pat his hand.
"Even our house didn't cost this much." I say as I hold up the bill of the damages. Shizu-chan flinches and shakes his head. "I didn't know the cost of having a child was this much."
"Well, our children are unique." Shizu-chan laughs. "I hope your job can pay for more than half because I don't have a job that pays even half that much a year."
"Don't worry, I got this…it's my fault since I don't know how to handle him…" I say as I put my hands on the back on my head downheartedly. "I feel terrible…"
"You don't have to, all this stuff is covered and besides I'm kidding about not helping pay for a cut of the cost." Shizu-chan says as he rubs my back gently.
"No…not that…I mean, I'm Kuro's mother and I don't know how to handle him. I feel completely awful…Celty knows how to handle him…so does Hina…" I was about to say that either one of them would make better mother than me, but I know Shizu-chan very well and he'd never let me off the hook if I say that. But it's true. If I don't know how to handle my own son, then I'm not fit enough to be his mother.
"So? A lot of people don't know how to handle their children; sometimes parents have to alternate with them because one does better with the other child. The point is, we're doing this together and that's all that matters. You'll get used to handling Kuro in no time. He's just the type of kid you're not used to handling since you're more used to Shiro's type. But the truth is Kuro is a lot like you. Heck, he's like a reincarnation of you." Shizu-chan laughs and we both look over at Kuro who's playing with his rice.
"When did you become such a good husband and father?" I ask him lovingly.
"It's not something that happened over night; that's all I can say, but I'm still not perfect." Shizu-chan says as he begins eating.
"Well, you're perfect to me. My standards aren't that high, though." I say with a laugh as he hits me playfully. "So, how's your day been?"
"Well…" He hesitates and my motherly instincts kick in. I sure feel like a woman now and I'm not too pleased with that. I enjoy being motherly, but I can do without the hysteria and mood swings. Such traits must have lingered from when I was pregnant.
"Tell me what happened. I was with Kuro all day and I haven't have time to collect any information on anything, including what was happening with you and Shiro." I say as I feel myself getting worried. Shiro walks over to me and clings onto my shirt. I swing my arm around him and smile.
"Izaya, before you say anything. We're alright. Shinra checked us out—" Suddenly my emotions switch into overload.
"What happened?" I say a bit too hysterically.
"Well, there was…um…there this car…and…" Shizu-chan isn't too good at explaining things, especially to me. He gets kind of confused and slow.
"Dad saved me from a car that was gonna take a red light. He got knocked out…and then woke up and we went to Uncle Shinra's place." I try to calm down so I breathe in and then breathe out before sending Shiro and Kuro downstairs; this time telling Shiro to help Kuro to stay out of trouble. I rub my temples and put my head down on my desk. God, if I…if anything were to happen to Shiro or Kuro…I don't think I'd be able to go on…If anything were to happen to Shizu-chan I'd have to take care of my children on my own. Of course I'd be miserable without him, but we already promised each other that if something does happen to either of us, the other would go on for the kids. It's only right, but we both know that such a thing would be terribly miserable, not because the task of raising children by oneself is hard (which it is, but it's possible) but going on without the other would be horribly painful.
"Izaya, we're alright." Shizu-chan says as he puts my hand on my shoulder. "Shinra checked us out and we got the okay."
"The second I find that…asshole he's gonna be tortured inhumanely and then buried ten feet underground while still being alive." I say angrily as I pound my hand on the desk. "God…if anything ever happened…" I start to cry and I feel Shizu-chan embrace me and kiss my temple gently. He wipes my tears away with his thumb and kisses my lips.
"I know how you feel. I couldn't let something like that happen."
"God, you're…" I embrace him and cry into his chest. "You've always been a hero to me…despite what everyone else says…despite me always calling you a monster…I've never meant it…"
"Izaya…" Shizu-chan says as he holds my tighter. I can hear his heartbeat, a sound that always reassures me that he's with me. It's comforting to hear it, especially now. God, this is making me break down… "Thank goodness you're both alright."
"Oh, you know me…I'm pretty resilient. Besides, I've gotten hit by a truck before. Remember?" Shizu-chan says with a smile. "Let's continue eating before it gets cold." I wipe my own tears and try to recompose myself. I don't usually cry, but when it comes to my children and them being in harm's way, I can't suppress the tears. Such a scare makes me emotional.
After lunch, Shizu-chan and Shiro head out to go home, while Kuro and I are still stuck in my office, cleaning everything up. I sigh and vacuum most of the mess gloomily. Kuro helps out by picking up the books and reorganizing them on the shelf. By reorganizing I mean he throws them on the bookshelf randomly. Some are thrown with their spine facing up, some down. Some are just placed in awkward positions, but I don't mind so much. I just walk over and show him the more organized way of placing the books. He nods and begins copying my way.
"Mommy, are you mad at me…?" He suddenly asks me as he sits down in his little desk and kicks his feet as we take a break. He looks a bit downhearted and a bit remorseful, which is nice to see. He's not a sinister child, just a mischievous one.
"I suppose I was before…but I can't stay mad at you. Besides, you're just like me when I was younger."
"Really? I'm just like Mommy?" He asks happily. He looks as if he were glowing now.
"Yeah, I was a troublesome child. Your father was usually the one who I played pranks on. He usually got really mad, but in the end he forgave me, so I forgive you too." I say happily as I ruffle his hair.
"Mommy…" He says as his eyes get teary. He tackles me and clings onto me as he starts crying. In a way, I already know why Kuro does the things that he does. He's trying to get attention. I'm sure because I'm not the one who usually spends a lot of time with him, he feels a bit deprived of my love. So, he did all this so he could get my attention, even if I was more or less scolding him. "I like playing with Mommy."
"Oh?"
"Yeah, he's really funny when he gets mad." Kuro says as he wipes his tears. "But Mommy doesn't play so much with me because Shiro always plays with you."
"I know that Shiro likes to be with me a lot, but that doesn't mean you can't ask me to play with you too." I say as I hold him.
"When we get home can you read me a story in the rocking chair like you used to?"
"I thought you said you were too old for that." I say with a smile. He shakes his head quickly and clings onto my shirt.
"No…I'm not…I'm still a kid…Mommy said that I'll always be his little boy, right?" Kuro asks with tears in his eyes. I pat his head before kissing his forehead and hugging him.
"Yup, you're always gonna be my little boy." I confirm happily. Of course Shiro is always gonna be my little boy too and Kuro knows this. But to him, he feels special even if I treat Shiro the same as him. He feels that he's special because he's the youngest. It might sound silly or selfish, but he deems himself the apple of my eye since he's the youngest and because he's so similar to how I used to be.
"Can you play me that song you used to play me?" He asks shyly.
"Right now?" I ask a bit nervously.
"Yeah." Kuro says as he walks over to the covered piano in the room. I keep it here because there's not much room back home anymore. I used to have it at home even after Kuro was born, but after a year or so after that we had to store it somewhere else. My office is that somewhere else. Kuro discovered where we had stored the piano long ago and he must have just remembered it was in the corner right now. He wasn't really in my office the whole day since he was pestering all the people in the lower floors.
I smile and head over to the uncovered piano. I sit down on the seat and pat the spot next to me. I haven't played it for maybe three years, but I can still remember the song I used to play for Shiro and Kuro when they were babies.
"I'll teach you the song so you can play it for me when I get too old to play." I tell him as I start playing the song.
"Mommy's not going to get old. He'll always be young to me, like I'll always be your little boy." He says happily. God…I feel like crying again.
I hope I can always spend time with my children like this. I don't want to ever lose these moments.
Shizuo's POV
Shiro and I make it back home without any trouble, so Izaya will be pleased. I really don't like to make Izaya worried or sad, but such things happen and they really hurt me. I've become really soft and cheesy. It makes me kind worried about if I can continue my job as a bodyguard for Tom. Then again, my temper will always be horribly unstable like Izaya's mentality.
"So, how about we take that bath?" I ask Shiro as I take off my coat and put it on the coat rack. Shiro shakes his head and lifts up his elbow and points at the bandage.
"I'm hurt."
"The bandage is waterproof. Celty made sure of it." I tell my son plainly. He shakes his head and holds onto his wound, blushing with a frightened face, looking like he feels vulnerable.
"Mom…Mom usually takes a bath with me. Are you gonna do that?" He asks as he gets kind of teary eyed because of his fear. I flinch out of surprise. I really hadn't been prepared for such a statement. I don't give the kids baths so I don't know the routine. I really don't want to take a bath, so I don't see how this whole thing is gonna work out.
"Um…well…no actually I was just going to help you out." I say as I head into the bathroom and get everything set up.
"Can I wait until Mom gets home so he can take a bath with me?" Shiro asks me as he watches me get everything set up for his bath. I turn on the water and wait for the bathtub to fill up with lukewarm water.
"No, I think it's best if you start taking baths by yourself."
"That's why I like Mom better." He says as he tests the water with his hand, splashing the water a little.
"I know, I know…" I say sadly. "Let's just get you nice and clean before your mother gets back. He might scold me if he finds out I didn't keep my promise to bathe you." Izaya is known to scold me for things like that; he's especially critical about promises. I had promised a long time ago when we first got together in high school, that I'd always love him. Once he fled Ikebukuro and then six years later he returned, I had broken that promise, but I'd say for a solid reason (sort of). He was quite peeved about that, but things turned out okay so we don't really talked about that anymore.
"Alright, how about you get those dirty clothes off so I can wash them." I say as I turn off the water and help him with his shirt. He cooperates and helps me take off his shirt. "Let me get you a new set of clothes." He nods as I head off into his bedroom and get him clean clothes. When I get back he's only in his underwear, his pants are still in his hand, but he's kind of making an angry face.
"Look, I know mother treats you differently than I do, but that doesn't mean you have to give me a hard time about it."
"You're gonna tell Mom to not bathe with me anymore just like you told him to not let me sleep beside him even if I have nightmares." He says as he throws his pants in my face. He runs off and I'm forced to try and catch him and put him in the bathtub.
"Shiro!" I say as I try to catch him, but he's much too quick just like his mother used to be. Nowadays I'm sure I'd be able to catch Izaya if we started back into our old routine of trying to "kill" each other.
"No!" He says as he slides between my legs and heads out of the apartment. I head out and try to prevent him from heading downstairs or let any of our neighbors see him. First of all, he's in his underwear. Secondly, he's…in his underwear and there's our elderly neighbor who has a faintish heart. One little scare and she's down for the count. I jump in front of Shiro, but lose my balance and accidently fall down the stairs…two flights of stairs before making it to the bottom. I rub the back of my head when I come to and then try to get up. I'm not as quick on my feet as I used to be.
I head back up the stairs, a bit ticked off by what just happened. Such a thing could have been prevented. I'm not so furious towards my son, but nevertheless my anger level has risen and I need to find a way to get it down again. I pace back and forth like I usually do, cursing loudly in my head. Then, tryingt to breathe in and out like Shinra told me to do. I feel somewhat better, but I really wish I could punch something.
"Dad, are you mad at me?" Shiro suddenly asks as he stands at a reasonable distance away from me, probably trying to avoid any close contact.
"No…I just got mad at myself for letting that happen…" I say as I suddenly feel a bit calmer.
"Someone once told me that you got so mad one day that you ripped a stop sign from the ground." Shiro says as he looks at the ground. "You're not gonna do something like that, are you?"
"No…I wouldn't do that…I know it's hard to believe but I'm not that kind of man anymore." I say as I pat the spot next to me. He walks over to me and stays silent beside me. "Are you gonna cooperate now?"
"No…" He says simply. "You're trying to separate Mom and me. Bath time is all I have left now."
"I'm not trying to separate the two of you. I'm just trying to get you to be a little more independent." I say simply. "Meaning, I want you to be a little more of a big boy."
"I don't want to be a big boy. I'm still little." Shiro says with a pout. I sigh and ruffle his hair before picking him up and dragging him to the bathroom.
"Big boy or not, you're taking your bath." I say as I carry him to the bathtub while Shiro resists by kicking and hitting me. I take off his underwear and put him in the tub gently. I then pour water on his head before putting shampoo in the palm of my hand.
"Ne, ne I don't wanna!" He says as he rubs his eyes to rid them of the water. To tell you the truth, this is the only time I've ever seen him react in such numerous ways. Seeing these expressions on my son's face is reassuring. I'm not completely excluded from seeing them. I roll up my sleeves and get to work. This is a much more difficult job than being a bodyguard, in my opinion. Children can be formidable opponents, sometimes without even meaning to (quite scary).
After a while he stops struggling and allows me to scrub him and clean his hair. I keep him busy with his toy boat and rubber ducky which I'm told by his mother that he loves a lot.
"Maybe in a couple weeks we can go to the barber. You're hair is getting pretty long." I say as I get him out of the tub when I'm finish rinsing his body. I put a towel over him and then one over his head and start rubbing it on his hair to try and get it dry. "What do you say about that?"
"Why…why don't you cut it? Isn't that what dads do?" Shiro asks shyly. I suddenly smile and nod to him before I continue to dry his hair off. I then hand him his clean underwear and shirt. I help him put on his shirt and then give his new overalls that Izaya bought him not too long ago. Izaya says he looks really "adorable" in them and I can't say I disagree. When he finally gets fully dressed, I feel quite pleased with how he looks. I let him escape from the bathroom and then tell him to brush his hair while it's still a bit wet.
"Dad, you didn't get hurt from falling down the stairs?" Shiro suddenly asks me as I lie down on the couch. I open my eyes, which I had closed to relax and then smile to myself.
"No, I'm fine son." I say as I close my eyes again. "It would take more than stairs to bring your old man down." Shiro suddenly looks at the door and smells the air. He smiles and shakes me.
"Mom's home!" I get up and wonder what it is that makes him say that.
"What gives you that idea?" I ask as I get up and take off my shoes.
"I can smell him." Smell him? Must be Izaya's flea stench still clinging onto him. I guess Shiro is more like me than I think. I mean, I was the one who used to smoke cigarettes, but to me Izaya's smell was more noticeable than that lingering smell of tobacco. Of course, I kicked that habit a long time ago before the kids were born. I didn't smoke in front of Izaya when he was pregnant either. It took me a long time to completely kick it off though. Things are never easy.
I suddenly hear the doorknob rattle from Izaya's key getting inserted and then see Kuro and him entering our humble abode.
"We're back~!" Izaya states cheerfully. "Guess who made a lot of trouble on the way here?"
"Kuro…what did you do now?" I ask Kuro as he jumps into my lap. He hugs me cutely and looks up at me with a remorseful look on his face.
"Well, that depends on what you want to hear about first." Izaya says with a laugh. "Do you want to hear about what happened to Simon when we met up with him on the street? Or do you want to hear about what happened with the at the water fountain? Or maybe you want to hear about the incident that happened downstairs before we came up here?" While asking me all these questions, Izaya seems to keep his usual, calm composure. He doesn't look too stressed, but I know that he's just trying to mask his true feelings.
"Ah, we can talk about all that later. I bet Shiro can cheer you up. He just took a bath." I state happily as Shiro heads over to tackle his mother's leg. Izaya kneels down and hugs Shiro happily.
"Today wasn't so bad, though. Kuro and I had a great time together despite the fact that my office almost burned down…"
"I didn't mean to." Kuro adds in shyly. "I just wanted to play with the candles…"
"Candles?"
"The electricity went out because Kuro was playing with the box, so I had my secretary get me some candles. Then Kuro was curious about how the candles worked and one accidently fell and caught the carpet on fire. Oh, and then there was the matter with the permanent marker drawings in the elevator, and on my computer and on the walls, and even on some guy's suit. He wasn't too happy about it. Did I mention that Kuro also clogged the bathrooms downstairs and upstairs?"
"Wow…um…you were really busy today, Kuro." I say with a laugh. Izaya suddenly glares at me so I nod and pull Kuro close to me. "Listen, all that stuff you did today was very bad. You know Mommy and Daddy have to pay for all that, right?"
"I thought that all that stuff belonged to Mommy and that everything could be fixed no problem."
"Eh, the real world doesn't work that way. And Mommy only owns the small office where he told you not to leave."
"I didn't know…" Kuro says as he starts to cry.
"Go apologize to Mommy." I whisper in his ear. He nods and runs over to Izaya to hug his leg. Although Izaya might seem stern and mature, his children make him completely soft. He can't do much yelling at them, so he leaves it to me to do most of the disciplining. He usually just gives them a very long talk about what they've done wrong and how they can be better in the future.
"I'm sorry Mommy…" Kuro says sadly.
"It's alright…but you know you're gonna have to be punished, right?"
"Yeah…no TV for a week." I say sternly as I get up and head into the kitchen. Izaya follows me and begins telling me about some of the other stuff that happened during work.
"The two of you can head up to your rooms and we'll call you when dinner's ready, okay?" Izaya tells them both before they nod and do as they're told. "Long day for you too, I presume?"
"I fell down the stairs before you got here."
"What the—how the hell did you do that? I don't remember you being so clumsy."
"Shiro didn't want to take his bath and ran out of the apartment in his underwear. I didn't remember the stairs were there at the time and fell down them." I explain as I rub the back of my head. "I'm okay, but it sure didn't feel good rolling down those two flights of stairs and hitting the concrete once I got down."
"Jeez…sounds like we're both gonna be sore in the morning." Izaya says with a laugh.
"I can admit that Shiro didn't do such troublesome things as Kuro. Are you alright?"
"I'm alive at least."
"Hmm, you don't look like you're gonna be alive much longer though. You look like you just got run over by a truck after getting beat up by a gorilla and then were forced to watch re-runs of some anime packed with fillers and reoccurring themes."
"I feel like all that happened to me and then I feel like after all that, I had to give birth twelve times in a row…" Izaya says as he collapses on the couch, face first. "I can't believe the people who have more than four kids…I mean I suppose even after having Shiro and Kuro I'd completely dismiss the idea of having two more like I'd originally planned, but the thought is still lingering in my mind, even after all this happened to me today…But just the thought of people having more than four kids makes me want to take a lot of pain killers."
"Heh, I know." Don't get us wrong. Children are great; at the end of the day when you get to tuck them in and they look like little angels, it's all worth it. But, sometimes parenting is a job that takes a lot of stamina that some people don't possess and it's just better to take things in moderation.
"I would kill you right if you asked me if I wanted to have sex. I'm dead serious." Izaya says as he sighs. I laugh a little and then begin to massage his back. Thankfully the kids can't hear us.
"I'll take care of dinner and bedtime." I offer as I continue to massage Izaya's back.
"I don't want to dump all that work on you after the day you just had. You got hit by a car and then fell down the stairs."
"I'm built strong. I'm fine. You should rest. I can carry you upstairs and then take your dinner up there for you." I tell him happily.
"Now you're making me want to have sex with you." Izaya says with a laugh. "Alright then, I'll take your offer." I smile as he puts his arms around my neck and allows me to pick him up bridal style. I carry him upstairs carefully and watch him as he suddenly falls asleep in my arms. I place him on our bed and cover him with our sheets.
I head downstairs and begin to prepare dinner. I'm sure I have a lot to go before Shiro warms up to me, but I'm not one to quit. Despite whatever Izaya says about me quitting on our love after he disappeared, I really didn't quit. I fought my desire to still believe in our love, but I never quit believing in it altogether. I'm not quitting on my son either. I want this family to be whole.
A/N: A little OOC I suppose, but it's intentional since they're sort of different as parents. Shizuo being a bit more calm and Izaya a bit more motherly. Anyway, please please review ^^ Also, if there's any mistakes please forgive me and you can tell me if it's super bothersome and inexcusable. THANK YOU ALL WHO READ REVIEW FAVORITE AND WHATNOT. YOU HAVE TO KNOW THAT I LOVE YOU! (TOTALLY NOT IN A CREEPY WAY THOUGH XD) ALSO I LOVE ALL CAPS TODAY SO SORRY IF THIS BUGS YOU!