A/N: Thank you so much for the feedback so far! To my anon reviewer: try watchseries! They have links to all the episodes of The West Wing. And you really won't regret watching- it was one of the best decisions I ever made! :)
We meet Abbey's parents in this chapter; I haven't been able to find any information that their names were mentioned on the show, so I've made them up myself. (It's a throwback to Gilmore Girls!)
I tried not to do too much medical jargon for fear of being horrifically wrong, but if anything isn't accurate, well, it's my story. I also stole Addison Montgomery from Grey's Anatomy; I figured time lines weren't that important since it's pre-series, and she's the only fictional OBGYN doctor I know.
Disclaimer: I own only the idea and the OCs; nothing original to The West Wing is mine, sadly.
"Abbey-"
"We need to go to the hopsital, Jed," she said, cutting him off, voice thick with the tears that shone in her eyes. "I think I'm having a miscarriage."
His heart stopped in his chest; panic began to rise.
"Go get the girls," she whispered, hand clutching her abdomen as she winced, body shuddering as a cramp seized her muscles. She looked up, seeing him frozen, and choked back a sob, gesturing towards the door. "Jed, please, go."
He swallowed, trying to push the panic down and went to Liz's room first; as soon as he's uttered the word 'hospital' she was up, and he instructed her to get Ellie up- they didn't need to get dressed, just go downstairs and put their boots and coats on. In Zoey's room he woke the little girl up gently, helping her put real underwear on before carrying her downstairs, where Liz was helping Ellie zip her coat and Abbey was gripping the table, eyes closed and lips compressed in a tight, agonized line.
He got Zoey into her coat and boots as quickly as possible, helping Abbey shrug into her coat as well before opening the door, the frigid January air blasting them as they left. After buckling Zoey into her carseat he helped Abbey into the passenger seat; Ellie and Liz climbed into the car silently.
The ride was deathly silent, aside from Abbey's muffled gasps of pain and muted sobs, her hand gripping Jed's tightly, squeezing even harder when the cramps got too intense. In the backseat Zoey was asleep in her seat, Ellie was fighting to keep her eyes open, and Liz look terrified, eyes fixed on her mother. Jed's eyes flicked between the icy road and his wife; the drive to the hospital felt like forever.
When they finally pulled in, Jed helped Abbey while Liz held Ellie and Zoey's hands; both girls were still half-asleep, shuffling their feet and wincing at the bright hospital lights.
The nurse at the desk recognized Abbey immediately, dark eyes tightening in concern.
"Abbey, what's wrong?" Rhonda Brand had been a nurse at Manchester University Hospital for over thirty years, and had worked with Abbey since she'd become a thoracic surgeon there. She was more than just a nurse; she was a friend.
"I think I'm having a miscarriage," Abbey managed to say, trying to breathe through her tears. "I'm almost eighteen weeks, no problems before right now."
"I'll call Dr. Montgomery, and get you a room," Rhonda said, face showing she meant business, but eyes showing the compassion of a friend. Jed watched her walk away, one hand resting what he hoped was soothingly on Abbey's back, the other clutching Zoey's tiny hand.
"Daddy?" Zoey asked, voice sleepy and slurred, her blue eyes still half-closed. "Is Mommy okay?"
"Liz, go take your sisters and sit," Jed said, voice strained, eyes darting back to his wife when she gasped in pain. "Grandma and Grandpa will be here soon to sit with you girls."
The teenager nodded, eyes wide with fear. Jed look at his daughters; Liz was in snowman pajama pants, Ellie was shivering in her nightgown and coat, legs exposed and peeking out from her purple boots, and Zoey was leaning sleepily against Liz's side, dressed in a pair of flannel pajamas covered in hearts. His heart broke all over again, and he fought against the tears, knowing he needed to be strong for his family.
Liz started to lead her sisters away when Ellie dropped her hand, running for Jed and wrapping her arms around him, her small body shaking with sobs as she buried her face in his waist.
"Is Mommy gonna come back?" she asked through hiccups, tears streaking her cheeks, throat thick with emotion. "Last time you went in there with Grandpa he didn't come back."
Ellie's sobs deepened, her desperation reaching a peak as she mentioned Jed's father and the heart attack that had claimed his life only a year and a half ago. It seemed to snap Abbey back to reality despite her pain, and with tears on her own face, reached down to cradle her daughter tightly to her chest, crying into her soft chestnut hair.
"I promise I'll come back," she whispered, anguish in her voice. She pulled back, framing her middle daughter's face in her hands, locking eyes with her. "Ellie, I promise I'll come back."
Ellie's eyes welled up with fresh tears, lips parting in a choked sob.
"That's what Grandpa said," she whispered in a voice that took what was left of Abbey's heart and shattered it. Abbey's tears spilled over as Ellie ran back to her sisters, falling into Liz's embrace and continuing to sob inconsolably. She turned to Jed, pressing her face into his chest, body wracked with sobs.
"Abbey, we have a room; Addison is on her way from the delivery rooms," Rhonda said, coming back over to them, motioning for them to follow. Abbey clung to Jed as they walked, tightening her grip when the spasms of pain came. Rhonda led them to the room, where Abbey already knew the drill. While she changed Rhonda pulled Jed aside, lowering her voice. "I'll keep an eye on the girls; do you need me to call anyone?"
"Abbey's parents," Jed replied softly, watching Abbey with pained eyes. "They can take the girls home when they get here. Their number should be in her file."
Rhonda nodded, squeezing Jed's hand in comfort and disappearing, only to be replaced by a tall woman with thick red hair, who he presumed was Dr. Montgomery.
"What's going on, Abbey?" she asked, nodding to Jed and reaching Abbey's side, helping her into the bed.
"I started bleeding about an hour ago, I figured it was nothing, that it would stop," Abbey explained, motioning for Jed to come stand with her. She linked her fingers with his, needing his support. "But it didn't; it got heavier and darker, and I started to feel pain and cramping. I think I'm having a miscarriage, Addie."
Addison finished her exam of Abbey, green eyes dark with sadness, essentially confirming Abbey's own diagnosis.
"I'll see if I can find a heartbeat," she said quietly, grabbing the ultrasound equipment while Abbey desperately tried to keep her emotions in check. Jed pressed his lips to her forehead, wishing he could be of more comfort.
The seconds felt like hours as Addison swept the wand across Abbey's abdomen, the soft, defined swell there a fresh addition to the heartbreak. There was no sound; no rushing, fluttering heartbeat like at their appointment only last week.
"I'm sorry, Abbey," Addison said in a soft voice, shutting the machine off and turning to her. "There's no heartbeat; it looks like there's something wrong with the placenta. The baby stopped getting oxygen, and there appears to be a small tear. You're cramping because your body tried to go into labor, but it can't."
There was a moment of silence, and Abbey struggled to get enough of a grip on her emotions that she could speak.
"What do we do?" she whispered, voice breaking towards the end. She felt Jed's grip on her hand tighten, knew he was in as much pain as she was.
"I'd recommend a D and C," Addison replied after a small sigh, wishing she didn't have to have this conversation. "It has the least risk of infection, and you'll be back on your feet in only a few days."
"Is there another option?" Jed asked, his voice hoarse. Addison's face darkened slightly, and she ran a hand through her crimson hair, sighing again.
"We could wait to let it happen naturally, but the risk of infection is much higher, and Abbey will be in pain much longer," she replied, eyes looking between the couple. "And if you were to decide to try for another baby, the risks are much higher if you choose the natural road."
Jed nodded, but Abbey was too far into her own little world of grief to hear what Addison was saying. She'd lost their son; their only chance to have a son and she'd lost him.
"You have some time to decide," Addison said, sensing Abbey needed some time to think. "But don't wait too long, I'd rather not risk an infection."
Jed nodded and Addison slipped out, leaving him and his wife alone.
"Abbey?" Jed asked softly, sitting on the edge of her bed and looking at her, heart breaking at how small and pale she looked. "Sweetheart?"
"I lost our son," she whispered, tears spilling over her lids, streaming down her cheeks. "I lost our baby, Jed."
He couldn't think of anything to say as he pulled her gently into his embrace.
Emily Barrington knew something was horribly wrong when a nurse from the hospital called at ten thirty at night to say they needed to come and stay with their granddaughters because her daughter had been admitted.
She shook her husband awake, his blue eyes still hazy with sleep.
"Richard, we have to get to the hospital; Abigail's been admitted and we need to stay with the girls," she said, and instantly the haze was gone.
Half an hour later they were walking into the hospital waiting room, finding Liz holding both of her sleeping sisters, all three of them cuddled together on the couch in the waiting room.
"Grandma," she said in relief, nudging Zoey and Ellie gently. "Guys, Grandma and Grandpa are here."
Roused from sleep, Zoey's eyes widened when she saw her grandparents, reaching her arms up. Emily scooped the little girl up, kissing her head and holding her tightly. Richard sat down between Ellie and Liz and wrapped his arms around them, letting them burrow their heads into his shoulders.
"I want Mommy," Zoey whimpered, tears forming in her eyes. "Where's Mommy?"
"She's with your daddy, sweetheart," Emily said, stroking her granddaughter's hair soothingly as she rocked her gently. "I'm going to leave you with Grandpa and see what's going on, okay?"
Zoey resisted at first, latching onto Emily even tighter, but after her grandmother promised she'd be back in a minute, relaxed her arms and legs and curled up in her grandfather's lap.
Emily made her way to the nurse's station, where the woman sitting behind the desk greeted her with a small smile.
"You're Abbey's mother?" the woman asked, and Emily nodded, swallowing.
"How is my daughter?" she asked, stomach tightening; her mother's intuition told her something was terribly wrong. The nurse's eys flickered with sadness, and her stomach tightened further.
"She was admitted for a miscarriage," the nurse, whose name tag said Rhonda, informed her. Emily heart dropped, and she covered her mouth with her hand as despair washed over her.
Abbey hadn't even told her- but then Emily thought about the dinner they were supposed to be having tomorrow and her heart twisted in pain for her daughter.
"Can I see her?" she asked, working to keep the emotion from spilling too much into her voice.
"I'm sorry, Jed is with her now, I can't allow visitors until after treatment," Rhonda answered, eyes showing how truly sorry she was. Emily nodded, understanding.
"Please let us know when we can see her," she said, and Rhonda nodded.
"Jed asked that you take the girls home," Rhonda said, just as Emily was turning to leave. "It'll be hours before Abbey's ready to see anyone, and he'd rather they not stay here."
Emily nodded, knowing what her son-in-law said was true.
"We'll take them back to the house to get some things and then they can spend the night at our house; tell Jed we'll keep them from school for the time being," Emily said, grateful when Rhonda assured her she would.
She walked back to the girls and her husband, stroking Elizabeth's hair and pressing a kiss to the crown of her head.
"We're going to take you girls home to pack a bag and you'll be stay with us for a little while," she told them gently, watching as all three pairs of eyes widened fearfully. "Just until your mommy is out of the hospital. She has to stay for a couple of days to get better."
The fear lessened slightly, but Ellie's eyes welled up with tears.
"Is Mommy hurt?" she asked, trying to brush the tears away but unable to. "Is she hurt a lot?"
"Yeah, she's hurt a little," Emily said gently, tucking some of Ellie's dark hair behind her ear. "But the doctors are going to take really good care of her, I promise."
Ellie nodded, but her tears didn't stop; Emily was struck once again but how much Ellie was Abbey's daughter. Zoey climbed off Richard's lap to sit on Ellie's, wrapping her small arms around her big sister's neck in a hug. She snuggled against her sister, who wrapped her arms around Zoey's body and held her close, burying her face into her hair and crying softly.
"I love you Ellie," Zoey said, too little to really understand what was happening, but knowing that her sister needed comfort. Emily almost couldn't hold back the tears this time; their family didn't need this heartbreak now.
"Let's get you home, girls," Richard said softly, rubbing Liz's back and kissing her forehead, encouraging her to stand. Emily scooped Zoey up and Richard picked Ellie up; Emily was glad he was strong enough to lift the slim nine year old, because she didn't think Ellie could walk on her own.
Emily shot a last glance back at Rhonda, who sent her a nod- her daughter was in good hands.
He didn't know how much longer he could watch his wife suffer.
They had to make the decision on the D and C; Abbey was in pain and risking infection the longer she pushed off the surgery, and he couldn't stand her whimpers of pain and agony.
But he knew she didn't want to say yes; she didn't want to fully accept that they'd lost their son. Not yet; not when only a week ago everything had been perfect and healthy and happy.
"Abbey," he said softly, cupping her hand gently in both of his, watching as her green eyes flicked open, the irises rimmed in a pain he couldn't even begin to imagine. "We have to make the decision."
She choked back the sob, covering her mouth with her free hand and closing her eyes, tears pushing their way out from under her lids, running down her cheeks.
"How can I do it?" she asked hoarsely, opening her eyes and looking at him, anguish lining her face. "He was fine last week, Jed. How can this be happening? Why do we have to do this?"
"I don't know baby," he whispered, kissing her palm, his own tears pricking his eyes as she sobbed again, the sound tearing at his heart. "I don't know."
He'd never seen Abbey cry this much. It was almost unnerving, seeing such a strong woman so hopeless and devastated.
An hour later, she consented to the surgery, when the pain became too much and Addison urged her to make the decision. Jed waited with her while she was prepped, knowing he wouldn't be allowed in the room.
"I love you," he whispered, kissing her hand gently, realizing this was the most privacy they'd get. Abbey touched his cheek with the same hand, drawing him down for a real kiss; he could taste the saltiness if her tears on her lips.
"I love you too," she whispered back, voice raw with anguish. Jed rested his forehead on hers for a moment, wishing they could go back in time and change this. But he couldn't, so he watched as they wheeled her away, heart in his throat.
It felt like he was watching them wheel his entire world away.
"Don't leave me so cold; I'm buried beneath the stones," -'The End', Pearl Jam [I listened to this on repeat while writing this chapter.]