EDI's physical platform frowned. The feeling was odd, the one that seemed to swim in the lower part of her torso's chassis. Aboard the Normandy, sg had watched the quarian and geth fleets tearing into each other only to suddenly stop, their guns falling idle as the two hung in space, the threat still there but neither suddenly being aggressive in their posture. Then the news started to filter through...a truce.
On Rannoch, her physical platform had seen none of this, she and the others had helped Shepard fight her way through the geth station and try to destroy a Reaper using the Javalin disruptor missiles. They hadn't worked and so Shepard had been forced to take on the Reaper alone, using the targeting laser so that the quarian fleet could finally blast the Reaper to scrap. And she had succeeded, but it wasn't without cost.
Legion.
EDI felt his loss quite keenly, even more so when she reviewed the vid feed from the Commander's armour. Legion said 'I'. Hearing that from the geth had stung EDI with its implications. Legion had become an individual, just as she had when Jeff had released her from her shackles. And he had died, giving his life so that his people could live. True, it had almost cost the galaxy the quarian race, but both the Commander and Tali'Zorah had been on hand to hold the quarian fleet back and the beginnings of peace had been forged between the warring races.
EDI had mentioned this fact to Shepard, and thanked her for having faith in a synthetic race. The Commander had accepted the thanks, but she sounded sad. After all, Shepard had got to know Legion during his time aboard the Normandy; she had referred to him as a friend and defended him with a great deal of venom against Admiral Xen's attempts to be allowed to dissect him. As well as refusing Javik's advice of flushing Legion out of the airlock. The Commander fought for those she valued. Those she cared about. It was a valiant thing to do and EDI couldn't deny that she admired Shepard for this. It also pressed on EDI's mind that she could try and simulate the Commander's valiance too. But right now, it seemed a distant thought. The odd feeling within her seemed to take precedence, displaced all other thoughts and made her feel...slow.
'EDI, are you ok?' Shepard asked her quietly, standing by the work space that her platform was seated upon. EDI regarded her for a moment, postulating an answer but before she could, Shepard beckoned for her to follow and she turned on her heels and walked towards the airlock hatch.
A little confused, EDI obediently followed and for once she noted that Jeff didn't comment. This deepened her confusion.
The Commander looked at her, a serious look on her face and asked the question again.
'The functional operation of this platform is around 80% Shepard, minor damage was gained from geth weaponry, but it is nothing that Engineer Adams would be incapable of fixing. Although I would rather he didn't allow Engineer Donnelly the task of fixing this platform. He has gained something of an unhealthy obsession with various parts of this platforms superstructure.'
Shepard scowled. 'That's not what I meant EDI, and you know it.'
EDI scanned her Commanders biometrics. She was calm and a little agitated but her stress levels had dropped a little since returning back to the ship, there was also an increase in her hormone levels, which suggested to EDI that the Commander had spoke with Major Alenko before she had come up to the cockpit...Shepard's hormone levels always increased around the Major, an organic side effect of attraction.
'I...' EDI faltered for a moment, trying to pick the right phrase '...am...sad that Legion is dead.' She finally ventured. It was difficult for her to articulate the words and it did not make her feel any better either. She looked at Shepard, who nodded with understanding.
'I find that this...feeling is distracting. I have been forced to close down several hundred of my research windows as their results have been pushed back into one of several memory buffers rather than being assimilated into my main memory banks.'
Again, Shepard nodded but stayed silent.
'It is worrying that Legion self actualised before he expired. I cannot help but wonder if all that he was and had become was lost upon his shut down. While he was part of the geth consensus, he could not be truly lost as he was not physically confined to a singular platform. But he dispersed himself through the geth in an effort to preserve them, losing himself in the process.'
The Commander continued with another nod.
'Shepard, how do organics cope with such loss? '
Commander Freya Shepard smiled a sad but knowing smile at EDI question and thought for a moment, though EDI suspected that having coaxed her into asking the question itself Shepard believed she had achieved something.
'We cope in many different ways EDI. For some talking helps...like we are now. I know it sometimes helps me to say things out loud, even if there's no one there to respond.' EDI had witness the Commander pacing and muttering to herself in The Loft on a number of occasions. 'Some like be alone and remember, remember the people who are gone, the times they spent together and the things that were enjoyed.'
EDI noticed the Commander went quiet for a moment, she seemed to be looking at something over EDI's shoulder and her brain waves changed slightly...she was remembering. 'And some find comfort and solace in others, especially in times of pain. You saw it yourself on the Citadel.'
Immediately EDI thought of Jeff. Of the continued search she was doing for news of Tiptree for him, though she hadn't told him. She thought of Earth and his reaction to the arrival of the Reapers and his need to rescue Shepard. He had lost a lot and he was coping, although, when EDI analysed his behaviour, she noticed an increasing number of subtle difference that spoke of increased concerns. When she thought of Jeff, the feeling of sadness within her shifted slightly, not being replaced with something else, but it seemed to alleviate a little bit of the emotional weight she was feeling.
'Like you and Major Alenko?' EDI ventured and she watched the Commander's face start to blush.
'Yes EDI.' She said almost reluctantly
Now it was EDI's turn to nod. 'Thank you Shepard, you have given me much to think about.' And she started to turn on her heel to go back to her station.
She had observed Shepard go through what she had spoken over the course of the last month or so. With Earth being taken, she had remained silent and had ground her teeth in anger. The thought that Major Alenko might die had meant that she had spent a large amount of time sat with his unconscious form, talking to him as if he were awake. The loss of Mordin had her and Garrus reminiscing about their fight against the Collectors and remembering the Doctor's part in the mission and as crew aboard the ship, it had made them laugh but not unkindly to remember how much Mordin had wound them all up. Thane's death at the hands of Kai Leng was a mix. She had remained isolated from the crew for some time, and then she had sort out the Major's company and now with Legion she was quiet again.
Suddenly, she stopped and looked back at the Commander. 'Does it help?' she asked.
Shepard shrugged. 'Sometimes. But you never forget them or the pain...and that way, they're never truly gone either.'
'I...will not forgot.' EDI said as the two parted ways.
The door of the cockpit opened and EDI found Jeff standing in the doorway, waiting for her.
'Jeff?' she queried.
He didn't speak; he merely stepped forward and kissed her softly on the lips before limping back to his seat. EDI was puzzled and opened her mouth to pose him a question about his behaviour but he cut her off without turning.
'You guys need to learn to keep your voices down. And do you think Spectres have rules against their operatives sleeping together like they do in the Alliance? Because if they do...they're definitely going to shoot both Shepard AND Kaidan now.'
EDI smiled, again her feeling of sadness shifted in a more favourable direction and Jeff seemed to be the cause. She would have to investigate this further.