Gossip seemed to be a way of life aboard the ship, EDI noted. The crew members gossiped all the time with each other. Sometimes about what was going on in the wider galaxy, about what was happening on Earth, often about themselves, but the most favoured topic the crew gossiped about was each other. By EDI's calculations, the crew spend 73% of their time gossiping to each other and about 95% gossiping about their fellow crew members, and that tended to be of a sexually explicit way. The gossip didn't always start of about sex, but often ended up that way. It fascinated EDI to listen to the crew, despite the fact they were often wrong about what they said, and one pair in particular seemed to gossip more than anyone else.

Private Bethany Westmoreland and Private Sarah Campbell stood guard over the doors between the War Room and the CIC and they gossiped about life aboard the Normandy constantly. Or at least when there was no other crew around, as their crewmates were often the reason behind their gossip, even if it started off with comments about the Commander's recent missions, or the latest new updates from the Alliance News Network. They provided EDI with an interesting insight into the mindset of the crew and a noticeable variance into the perceptions of the crew against the genuine occurrences, as well as a great deal to find amusing.

'Now we have a quarian.' Westmoreland complained. 'Do you remember when this used to be an Alliance vessel?'

Campbell laughed. 'It ship is of human AND turian design.' She stressed the 'and' knowing that it would piss off her friend. Westmoreland liked complaining, and she found many things to complain about, even though she often didn't mean it, but Campbell was used to it and used it to wind her up.

Westmoreland snorted. 'You only say that because you've been making cow eyes at Vakarian.'

Campbell turned red. 'So?' she retorted defensively 'He's got a cute face...almost like a kitten.'

'Yeah, but only if it'd been fathered by some sort of bug!' Westmoreland laughed.

'Laugh all you want, but I don't see Major Alenko inviting you to lunch on the Citadel like he did with Shepard...and your eyes almost pop out every time you stare at that muscular arse of his.' Campbell countered.

Now it was Westmoreland's turn to go quiet with indignation. For once, EDI mused, they were correct in their accusations about the other. Private Campbell did seem to look a little glazed when she saw Garrus in the mess area. EDI enjoyed watching her reaction as cross-species relationships were not something she had studied in any real depth, despite being similar to what Jeff and herself were embarked upon. And there wasn't any occurring on the Normandy, at present. She had wondered if Shepard may have persuaded Liara at one point, the two were close and there was a connection between them that often registered as attraction. Also, during the Collector mission, the Commander had shown interest in Samara, who had responded that the Justicar Code forbad such things, but that, had she met Shepard before she had taken her vows, she would not have refused. EDI had wondered about this, and often thought of asking the Commander about this, but never got the chance.

As for Major Alenko's posterior, Private Westmoreland wasn't the only one to enjoy looking at it. Commander Shepard did too, and when he teasingly questioned her on it, she joked that it was his finest "asset" with emphasis on the 'ass'. It had been a terrible pun but it had ended in a passionate kiss between the two and a rather innuendo laden reply about 'Premium Spectre Package' from the Major that had made Shepard tut and say 'Promises, promises' in a sing-song voice. EDI has watched Major Alenko make good on his 'promises' later that evening, much to the Commander's delight. Jeff sometimes used sexual innuendos about and to her...mostly to do with 'increasing his moral'. But for the most part, he was either fairly blunt about it, or never said a word. Perhaps if she started using sexual innuendos she could coax Jeff into playing along as this seemed to act as a certain type of foreplay to some.

Westmoreland finally snorted. 'If he's screwing the Commander, he obviously had terrible taste in women.'

Campbell seemed to perk up at that. 'Oh? What makes you say that?'

Westermoreland lowered her voice in a conspiratorial manner and Campbell leaned in close to hear, and EDI did the digital equivalent.

'Well, apparently she has been stringing James along from day one. He jerks off over her in the showers on a regular basis now...probably wishing he was ACTUALLY jerking off over her.' EDI was again surprised by her astute observations, but reminded that such things were well known by the crew due to their close quarters. But thankfully all had the presence of mind not to voice such things with the Commander or Lieutenant in earshot.

Private Campbell frowned, clearly unconvinced. 'To be fair, James flirts with everyone...and the Commander teases him about it, like a good friend would.'

Westmoreland carried on. 'There's also all that time she spends locked away in the Main Battery with Vakarian. I mean she's no damn tech, so what is she doing in there with the turian. I doubt it's anything vaguely mechanical...other than how to get him out of that damn armour. She always comes out looking happier'

'Garrus and Shepard? Now I know you've lost your mind.' Private Campbell laughed. 'The two of them have been friends since this started, back when she took on Saren and the geth. They've been through a lot together and Shepard values his opinion. Plus I heard Liara say that Garrus has no interest in humans.'

This was true; EDI had watched the interactions between the pair many times. Garrus and the Commander were very good friends, and she often sort out his company when she was feeling down. They were both soldiers to the core, but sometimes Shepard seemed to need a view point that was no identical to her own, either in terms of the institution she was a part of, her own species or even that of her own sex. There was a bond between them that never once entered into the realms of sexuality.

'What about Traynor then?' Westmoreland continued. 'She went upstairs that night to 'play chess'. She came down, walked right past me, a grin on her face and smelling of scented soap...not like the stuff we have in the shower rooms.' She crossed her arm. 'She talked about showering in Shepard's room. I don't see why she'd need a shower unless Shepard is bi or something.'

Campbell shook her head. 'No, I don't buy that. Plus Traynor is sniffing around Diana now, why would she do that if she was getting some lady-lovin' from Shepard?'

'I dunno. But talking of Allers, she swears she heard Shepard giving Alenko a blowjob in the Observation Lounge a couple of days ago.'

Campbell finally scoffed at that. 'And how would she know that?'

Westmoreland looked smug and replied. 'She heard them. The restrooms are right next to the Lounge, and she says the walls are pretty thin and you can hear what's going on...and that's why the lounge is usually vacated early. She said she heard them talking, then suddenly they went quiet and she heard Alenko moaning quietly...but JUST Alenko. She thought they were actually shagging, until she thought out it. Shepard was silent. And why would be quiet, unless she had his dick in her mouth?'

Campbell thought about it for a moment. 'Maybe...James and Garrus like to tease about their 'Date Nights' so maybe it could happen. But what if she did? It's pretty much common knowledge that they're a couple, but they don't go around flaunting that fact. They're very discreet about it...unlike Ken and Gabby.'

Westmoreland snorted back laughter. 'Yeah, I heard Adams caught Ken doing Gabby over a console in Engineering a little while back. And it's rumoured that Shepard set them up too.'

Campbell shrugged. 'The galaxy could come to an end at any moment; some people don't want to face the Reapers alone.'

'Maybe you could ask them to let you join them in a threesome?' Westmoreland threw at Campbell.

'Maybe I will...means I'll be getting more than you are.' She threw back.

Silence fell for a moment, as if a nerve had been struck. '...bitch.' Westermoreland finally said and they lapsed into silence, Private Campbell was grinning smugly, while Westmoreland pouted as if she was beaten. EDI knew the quiet wouldn't last long before the gossip started again. Thankfully, this time they weren't gossiping about Jeff and herself. It was a particular topic that the pair seemed to enjoy speculating on. Private Campbell wasn't sure about it, trying to work out how it could happen, on both an emotional and physical level. Private Westmoreland seemed to relish in-depth and crude suggestions upon it that EDI found largely unpalatable to listen to but Campbell would counter with talk of love over lust and that EDI was more than just her physical platform. Westmoreland would make a dismissive but said nothing more. It was this conversation, which happened more than once, that had made EDI feel quite awful, as if she and Jeff were doing something wrong. But when she analysed her databanks on the general reaction of the crew, if had been mostly favourable. Then she searched the Extranet on reactions to unconventional relationships, and found that they were often opposed by some but accepted by others. This was also true of much more conventional ones too. Westmoreland even seemed to disagree about Commander Shepard and Major Alenko. Then she thought about what Shepard had said to her on the Citadel.

'Nobody fell in love without being a little bit brave.'

She hadn't quite understood it at the time, and had pondered it many times in many different variations of what it could mean. Now, she believed that what Shepard was referring to was this. Standing beside the person you love, no caring what others think. She would. She would stand beside Jeff regardless of who approved or not and she would always stand with him. She would be brave!

In the cockpit, EDI's platform smiled, the realisation slipping between EDI's consciousness and her physical platform. 'Jeff,' she spoke through the platform '...have you heard the one about the krogan Battlemaster, the asari Justicar and the hanar Ambassador?' she ventured, her mood suddenly lighter, almost playful. She liked this feeling and wanted to experience more of it. More investigation was clearly needed.