So this is just a ridiculous little tale that popped into my head after learning about the old cartoon Krypto the Superdog. All you really need to know is that Krypto has a supercat friend named Streaky and they are friends with Ace the Bathound.
Happy April Fools' Day! Today seemed like a good excuse to post a silly story.
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters.
"Where is he?" Streaky the Supercat asked impatiently.
"I don't know," Krypto the Superdog replied. "But it isn't like Ace to be late."
"I hope nothing happened," Streaky purred before beginning to groom himself for the fifth time in a row.
"Nothing out of the ordinary happened," said a gruff voice, as Ace the Bathound appeared from behind a row of bushes.
"Yeah, we just had to tussle with the Joker's rascally hyenas," tweeted Robbie the Robin, the erstwhile and unappreciated sidekick of Ace (technically, Ace found the little bird to be a nuisance, but the kid kept hanging around).
"So can we get going?" Krypto asked eagerly. "I can't wait to meet your junior partner!"
"Me either!" chirped Robbie. "I've waited so long to meet Robin! He's my hero." He flapped his wings and flew around in a few ecstatic, hyper-active circles.
Ace frowned. "Thankfully the real Robin isn't even half as annoying as you," he barked under his breath.
Once Robbie had calmed down and landed on Ace's back, the Bathound announced that there were a few ground rules to go over first.
"One: don't make too much noise. Batman doesn't really like it when I bring over visitors." Ace couldn't bring himself to say "friends."
"But the little one wants to see us, right?" Krypto asked. The way Ace had talked, his junior human partner had been begging to meet them all.
"Oh yes, he does. But the less Batman knows the better."
"Will there be treats?" Streaky meowed. "You said there would be treats."
"There will be treats," Ace sighed. "Robin is good with treats." Sometimes the kid was a little too good. Ace sighed again remembering that just the other day Batman had looked at him – him! the glorious Bathound! – and commented that he needed to cut back on the Science Diet. "No one wants a chubby Bathound," Batman had said.
"Any other rules?" Krypto pulled Ace off memory lane.
"Oh, yes. Two: do not nip or scratch or bite or claw Robin. He's just a kid and can be playful, but you are the adult animals and it's your responsibility to not injure him. If you do, even if Robin doesn't notice or say anything, Batman will find out and he will be angry." Ace paused again, recalling one of the first times he had played with Dick. They had been romping on the living room floor and Ace had given Dick a little nip on the arm. Although Dick had just laughed it off and continued playing, Bruce had been angry. Ace had never come so close to being sent to the pound.
"And three: don't touch anything. At all. Ever." Ace looked ferociously at Krypto and Streaky to emphasize his points.
"Okay, we can handle that. Right Streaky?"
Streaky just nodded in agreement.
"I agree, too!" cried Robbie, whom Ace had (mercifully) almost forgotten about.
"Alright then. Let's go. And remember – keep quiet."
Eight-year old Dick was dressed in his Robin costume and coloring as he not-so-patiently waited for Batman to finish his work on the computer. Dick really just wanted to go out on patrol. It was already after seven o'clock!
Dick was just about to ask Bruce, for the two hundredth time, "can we go now?" when he heard Ace entering the cave.
Immediately laying aside his crayons, Dick raced over to Ace's part of the cave. "Ace!" he cried joyously.
Back at the computer, Bruce sighed in relief. Ace would keep Dick occupied for at least ten minutes; maybe fifteen if he played his cards right.
As the bright red, green, and yellow clad boy came into view, Ace barked, "Remember the rules!"
Dick skipped over, calling out in a sing-song way, "Ace, I have a treat for –" He stopped short when he saw Ace had brought guests.
His eyes wide with excitement, Dick dashed over to a metal cabinet and pulled out a jar of treats. He then produced a small packet of cat treats and some birdseed from this same cabinet. Krypto, Streaky, and Robbie were all impressed at Robin's preparedness. Ace, however, had come to regard it as de rigueur for any member of the Bat-family.
"Who do we have here?" Dick asked quietly, as he approached the new animals. "Are you Ace's friends?"
Dick carefully set his pile of treats down and began to pet the animals. Streaky began to purr almost immediately, which charmed Dick to no end.
"Who are you?" he asked, picking Streaky up. He looked at the cat's collar and read the tag. "Streaky, huh? Nice to meet you Streaky." And Dick promptly sat down on the floor and deposited Streaky on his lap. Streaky purred vigorously.
Krypto now came up to Dick, who began to scratch him behind the ears. "Hello," he paused to check the tag on the dog's collar, "Krypto."
His eyes suddenly widened with realization. "You're Superman's dog." Dick was filled with awe. "Have a treat." Dick wrenched opened the jar and fed several treats to Krypto, all the while giddy with joy to be feeding Superman's puppy. Krypto happily ate one treat after the other; when he thought about it, Ace was really lucky to have a little human partner in addition to his big one.
Tired of being ignored by his hero, Robbie began to chirp, earning him a glare from Ace. Remembering the rules, Robbie began to chirp more quietly as he fluttered through the air and landed on Robin's arm.
"A Robin – just like me!" Dick tentatively reached towards the bird and was delighted when he was allowed to touch it. "Have some birdseed, little Robbie."
Robbie twittered delightedly thanks to the birdseed and Robin's ability to guess his name.
Streaky now meowed, prompting Dick to feed him a ridiculous amount of kitty treats. Once Streaky had settled down and was purring again, Dick called to Ace.
"Ace, come here, boy."
Ace loped over to Dick, who offered him a treat. Ace eagerly ate it. Krypto, who has been lying quietly next to Dick, raised his head and sniffed in the direction of the treats.
Dick laughed. "You want some, too, Krypto?" And he began to pull treat after treat out of the jar, rotating them between Ace and Krypto.
As the dogs gorged themselves on treats, Robbie nibbled away at his birdseed, and Streaky contentedly purred, all the animals decided that Robin, junior human partner of the Batman, was definitely a friend worth having.
Concerned because Dick had been so quiet for so long, Bruce left the computer and went searching for the boy. He found him seated cross-legged on the damp cave floor, a cat on his legs, a robin on his shoulder, and a dog lying on either side of him. Dick was merrily conversing with the animals and plying them with an excessive amount of treats.
"So that's why Ace is so fat," Bruce mused.
"Dick?"
With perfect grace and poise, so as not to disturb either Streaky or Robbie, Dick slowly turned to face Bruce. "Bruce, look! Ace brought his friends over!"
"I can see that," Bruce said with forced cheerfulness.
"This is Streaky," Dick gushed, rather unceremoniously picking up the cat and thrusting him towards Bruce.
"And this is Krypto." Streaky was cast aside as Dick coaxed Krypto towards Bruce.
"And this is Robbie – I think. He doesn't have a collar. But he's Ace's partner just like I'm your partner!" Unlike the other two animals, Robbie chirped joyfully when Dick mentioned his name.
"That's very nice, Dick," Bruce said calmly, although he was shooting daggers at the animals. "But they need to go now."
"Awww, but why?"
"It's time for patrol."
"Really? Yippee!" Dick jumped to his feet and dashed over to Bruce.
Bruce frowned slightly at the state of his ward's costume. Dick's green shorts and red vest were covered in cat hair and the bird seemed to have dirtied the boy's cape. Not to mention Dick's bottom was damp from sitting on the cave floor. Bruce silently thanked his lucky stars that Alfred was not in the cave to see Dick in such a state.
"Better go change first, chum."
Dick looked confused. "But I'm already in my costume."
"I know, youngster. But you're a little … dirty."
"I'm sure the crooks won't care."
Bruce reached over and ruffled Dick's unruly hair. "No, but I care. Besides, you're wet on the bottom and we can't have you catching cold. Imagine how upset Alfred would be."
Dick nodded solemnly. "Alfred would be upset," he admitted.
"So go change."
"Okay!" Dick raced off to the changing rooms, shouting goodbyes to Krypto, Streaky, Robbie, and Ace as he went.
As Robin ran off, Batman turned to glare at Ace and the other animals. "Out, now," he growled.
When Ace started to slink away with the others, Bruce called out, "Not you, Ace. Get back here."
Ace cast a forlorn glance at his exiting comrades and trotted back to Batman.
Batman crossed his arms over his chest and glared at the dog. "Ace, you know better than to bring a bunch of animal friends over. Now Dick's going to be asking if we can get a kitten or a puppy or – God forbid – a bird. You don't want that, do you?"
Ace hung his head to let Bruce know that not only was he sorry for bringing over uninvited friends but he also didn't want any new pets at Wayne Manor.
"I didn't think so," Bruce said in a gentler tone, reaching out to give Ace a scratch behind the ears. "But you've given me an extra headache. Dick will be pestering me for days."
"I'm ready!" Dick shouted.
"Meet me at the Batmobile," Bruce replied. Ace followed at Batman's heels as the Dark Knight purposefully strode over to the car.
"Bruce, can we get a kitty?" Dick asked as he turned a few cartwheels on his way over to the car.
Bruce cast a baleful glance at Ace before answering. "No."
"Aww, why not?"
"Ace doesn't like cats."
"That's not true!" Dick insisted, coming over to pet Ace. "Ace's a good boy, aren't you Ace?"
Ace barked happily in reply. Dick knew just the right place to scratch him behind the ears.
"The answer is still no."
"Awww."
"One pet is more than enough."
"I guess," Dick reluctantly agreed. "And Ace is awful special. And smart."
At the mention of being smart, Ace raised a paw and clawed gently at a particular compartment on Dick's utility belt. Dick laughed.
"You want a treat, Ace?" With a grin, Dick took out a treat and gave it to Ace.
Bruce sighed. "You're making him fat, Dick. Now into the car." As Dick did a flying leap into the passenger seat, Bruce turned back to Ace.
"No more treats for you," he announced.
Ace whined to show how much he would miss his treats.
"Aww, Bruce, you're making him sad," Dick said from inside the Batmobile.
Bruce jumped into the driver's seat. "Well that's too bad. He needs to go on a diet."
Ace whined again but Bruce ignored him. Dick, however, stuck his little head out the car window and winked at Ace, just before the Batmobile zoomed off.
With a happy bark, Ace went to lie down on his bat—shaped dog bed. Dick's conspiratorial wink had reminded him of the tin of dog treats Dick kept under his bed. Ace had a feeling his diet wouldn't be so bad after all.