Warning: may contain mildly explicit content

It had been three days now that Kurt had been staying with Rachel, and she'd spent the whole time feeling completely and utterly helpless as to what to do to fix things between him and Finn, or her and Jesse, or the whole situation. It wasn't until her dads called her to say goodbye and told her they were leaving on a weeklong trip that she realized exactly what would make everything right again.

"I'll break in using the house key they gave me to feed their fish and we throw a huge party in the basement and invite all of New Directions!"

"Are you sure about that, Rachel?" said Kurt. "I kept Quinn's secret from Finn for over a year and he called me a stupid fag, somehow I doubt a party is going to fix things between us."

"It will when we all play celebrity together," said Rachel. "You'll see!"

Kurt frowned. "I don't think that's the kind of partying that most of the gang would have in mind."

"Tell you what," said Rachel. "I'll let everyone bring a date-you can ask Blaine, obviously-and…" She lowered her voice. "I'll serve everybody two wine coolers!"

Kurt smiled. "Let's go for it!" He was pretty sure that the party would end up being a bust, but at the very least it would give him an excuse to hang out with Blaine.

"Great!" squealed Rachel. "I'll go invite everyone." She immediately pulled out her phone and dialed Finn's number.

"Hello?"

"Hey Finn, it's Rachel."

"Hi," he said, obviously surprised to hear her voice. "What's going on?"

"I was wondering if you'd like to come to a party I'm having at my Dads' house," said Rachel.

"It's really sweet of you to invite me, but I'm not in a partying mood right now," said Finn.

"I understand," said Rachel, the disappointment evident in her voice. "How are you doing?"

Finn sighed. "Not great. Burt still hates me even though he's not saying it, Mom doesn't know what to think about me or Quinn, Quinn and I are like strangers sharing a baby and a bedroom, and I don't know where the hell Kurt is."

"Kurt's okay," said Rachel. She and Finn were both surprised by how comfortable they were with him telling her all that stuff when they'd barely spoken since she left New Directions. "I shouldn't tell you where he is, but he's okay. I take it you're still planning on being part of Lily's life?"

"Of course," said Finn. "That's why it's taking me a while to be sure about what I'm doing with Quinn, technically she could find a way to prove that Puck is Lily's father and then I would have no right to ever see her again."

"I honestly don't think she'd do that," said Rachel. "I mean, she wanted a good father for her baby in the first place, right?"

"True," said Finn. "I think I'll talk to her soon. Just got to figure out what to say."

"Good luck," said Rachel.

"Thank you," said Finn.

Rachel smiled a little as they got off the phone. Finn may not be any closer to dating her now than he was a year or two ago, but their connection wasn't lost.

"You are not wearing that," said Kurt as he and Rachel were ready to leave for her Dads' house.

"But it's my party dress," said Rachel, looking slightly disappointed in her full-length lacy green dress.

"Who are you, my grandmother?" said Kurt. "Seriously, go change into something fun."

Rachel sighed. "I guess you're right. What about this?" She pulled out a bright red knee-high dress with a low cut. "It's my Audrey Hepburn dress."

"Gorgeous, but that's like way too formal," said Kurt.

Rachel frowned. "But it's the only other dress I have. Wait! What if I borrow one of Shelby's suits?"

Kurt sighed. "Audrey Hepburn dress it is. Go put it on."

But despite the non-horrendous dress, about five minutes into the party everyone already had to go. "Why is everybody leaving?" said Rachel.

"Because this party blows," said Puck. "Look, if you want everyone to stay, let me break into your Dads' liquor cabinet."

"Great idea," said Jesse. "I'll help."

"No!" said Rachel.

"What's the big deal?" said Puck. "I'll replace it before they get home."

"Yeah," said Jesse. "Come on, Rachel, nobody's gonna get drunk off of two wine coolers."

"That's the point," she hissed.

"Baby," said Jesse. "I insist."

"But…" started Rachel.

"You need to learn to loosen up a little," said Jesse. Then he wordlessly walked over to the liquor cabinet and picked up a sharp object to break the lock with.

Rachel blinked. He's right, she thought. I can do this! "Let's party!"

Back at home, Finn was sitting on his bed playing X-Box while Quinn played with Lily upstairs. It felt nice to have the room to himself for a little while, even if he didn't have anything useful to do with Quinn and Lily gone. Especially since he'd recently given up homework again.

"Hey," said Quinn, walking through the door with a tired Lily in her arms. "Can we talk?"

Finn sighed. "What is there for you to say?"

Quinn leaned over and set Lily down in her crib. "You'd be surprised."

Finn turned off the X-box and put the game controller on his nightstand. "Go on."

Quinn sighed and sat down on the bed. "I never told you the full story of what happened the night I got pregnant with Lily. It was at that little party we had after the second football game of the season last year, the day that you ditched everyone to go help Mr. Schu set up something in the choir room. I was kind of feeling bored because you weren't there, and…"

"Mike, could I pretty please have just one bite of your slice of pizza?"

"You sure?" said Mike. "There's not some law against cheerleaders having pizza?"

"Please?" begged Quinn.

"Sure." Mike relented and held up the slice for her to bite into.

"You know, he does have a point."

Quinn looked up to Sue Sylvester towering over her. "Personally, I think you could still afford to lose a few, Lucy Caboosey."

Quinn froze as Sue walked away. "Ignore her," said Mike. "You know how she is."

Blinking back the tears in her eyes, Quinn shook her head and walked away, wondering how Sue Sylvester had even found out about her mean nickname. That's when Puck came up behind her. "Hey, Quinn, want to try a new diet drink? It's called a wine cooler."

"Sure," said Quinn, snatching the little bottle out of his hand and taking a gulp. She frowned when the drink instantly made her feel slightly dizzy. "Does this actually have wine in it?"

"Of course not," said Puck. "It's only called that because…uh…it encourages girls who are used to whining about their weight a lot to cool it. The stuff is amazing. It burns thirty calories a sip!"

"And you believed him?" said Finn incredulously.

"Of course, I was young and stupid and it was only the second party I'd ever been to," said Quinn. "I drank four of them right away. By the time the party was over, I was feeling really dizzy and couldn't figure out why, so I didn't say no when Puck offered to drive me home and help me up to my room. Once we got there, he helped me lay down on the bed and immediately started kissing me. He was telling me that I needed to have an experience or something like that and that I probably wasn't going to give a damn about you in three years and what was my vow of celibacy worth anyway when all my friends had already broken it?" Quinn had tears rolling down her cheeks now. "And then I asked him if he had protection, and he said, "trust me" and told me I wasn't fat. By the time I woke up the next morning, he was already gone. And I've hated myself ever since.

Finn nodded. "I might've actually been able to forgive you for that," he said. "But not a year and a half of making me live a life built on lies."

"I don't blame you," said Quinn. "Especially since…" she gulped nervously. "Remember when we almost performed Rocky Horror?"

"I was Brad, you were Janet, and Puck was Rocky," said Finn. "Too damn ironic now that I think about it."

"Well, one time when Puck and I went over to his house to have a dress rehearsal of all our songs…" said Quinn.

"No, none of this sitting in chairs stuff," said Puck. "We've practiced the singing part plenty of times, now we've got to rehearse this scene right."

Quinn sighed. "We're already basically in underwear. Don't you think we ought to at least have some boundaries? We're alone in your house and I have a boyfriend."

"No, we're not," said Puck. "We're in my lair. You're Janet. I'm Rocky. And you have a pasty-faced fiance who pays absolutely no attention to your body." Puck walked over to his boom box and pressed the button that started to play the theme for his song. "I made you sit over there." He pointed at a spot on the floor.

Somewhat reluctantly, Quinn decided to just go with it. She sat down and folded her arms across her chest.

"I was feeling done in, couldn't win
I'd only ever kissed before
I thought there's no use getting
Into heavy sweating
It only leads to trouble and
Bad fretting"

Puck nodded encouragingly. It suddenly occurred to Quinn that what she was singing actually happened to describe the night that she had gotten pregnant. She forced herself to stay in character and keep singing.

"Now all I want to know is how to go
I've tasted blood and I want more, more, more, more"

Quinn stood up and walked over to Puck and wrapped her arms around his shoulders.

"I'll put up no resistance
I want to stay the distance
I've got an itch to scratch
I need assistance."

On the last line, strictly because she was trying to be in character, Quinn grabbed Puck's hand and put it on her chest smack between her breasts.

"Toucha toucha toucha touch me
I wanna be dirty."

She pressed her whole body up against Puck's.

"Thrill me chill me fulfill me
Creature of the night."

Before Quinn knew what was happening, Puck had his lips locked in hers. That wasn't in the script. Neither was his left hand reaching behind her back to undo her bra. Or his right hand pulling his shorts down…

"Okay, okay, enough!" said Finn. "Did you do it or not?"

Quinn nodded tearfully. "It was his pathetic plan to get me and Lily "back". Afterwards I pulled on my clothes and left immediately with him yelling that I couldn't deny that there was something between us and that he loved me and loved Lily. I turned around and yelled at him that I hated him and he would never be Lily's father. I haven't spoken to him or let him anywhere near her since then. That only made me hate him even more. That was the only other time we did it, though."

"The only other time?" said Finn. "I was taking Lily to her six-month checkup during that "rehearsal"! I spent an hour sitting in a waiting room full of housewives giving me these dirty looks like there must be something wrong with me because I'm a teen dad, while meanwhile you were somewhere having…Rocky Horror sex with her biological father?"

"Finn I'm sorry!" said Quinn. "I thought that being honest with you would help."

"Damn right it's helped!" said Finn. "It's helped make this a hell of a lot easier." He stood up. "I want you and all your crap out of my house, now!"

Quinn tried to blink back the tears spilling from her eyelids in disbelief. "I mean it," said Finn. He shook his head and pointed at her accusingly. "I'm done with you!"

"Finn, please!" begged Quinn seconds before she started sobbing.

"No!" said Finn. "Lily's my daughter now, so she'll always be welcome in this house, but you will never be!"