Elena

I was at my brother's house waiting for him to open the door. I felt so guilty for what I did to him the other day that I needed to make sure he was okay. This morning when I woke up I pretended that everything was okay for Stefan and Caroline. I didn't want them to really see how messed up I really felt. I had such a guilty conscious right now it was killing me. Plus I remembered something this morning when I was in the shower. Something that I had been compelled to forget.

"I know Bonnie," I said into the phone "Your right, you and my mom both are… I just can't bring myself to tell him… At least not tonight…I'll call you later"

"Katherine" a man said appearing in front of me.

"Um no…I…" I said turning to look and see if he was talking to someone else, "I'm Elena"

"Oh you…" The man said looking confused, "you just look… I'm sorry you just really remind me of someone… I'm Damon"

"Not to be weird or anything Damon" I said "But it's kind of creepy that you're out here in the middle of nowhere"

"Your one to talk" Damon said looking amused, "Your out here all by yourself"

"Its mystic falls" I said with arrogance, "Nothing bad ever happens here… I got into a fight with my boyfriend"

"About what?" he said, "May I ask" putting his hands in the air. I shook my head looking down and then looked back at him.

"Life, future, he's got it all mapped out" Damon looked at me.

"You don't want it?" and I shrugged.

"I don't know what I want" Damon cocked his head to the side.

"Well that's not true," he said looking all knowing, "You want what everybody wants" I cocked my head to the side

"What?" I said smiling, "Mysterious stranger who has all the answers" Damon smiled.

"Hum" he said looking to the side smiling, "Well lets just say I've been around a long time…" and I smiled, "I've learned a few things" he said pursing his lips

"So Damon" I said, "Tell me" I said coking my head to the side, "What is it that I want?" Damon thought about it for a little while then began walking towards me.

"You want love that consumes you, you want passion, an adventure, and even a little danger," he said smiling at me. I looked at him for a while asking myself what did he want.

"So, what do you want?" He started to say something and then sighed. A car horn honked and I turned around. "My parents" I turned back to Damon and stared me in the eye.

"I want you to get everything your looking for… but right now I want you to forget this happened" then he smiled, "Cant have people knowing I'm in town yet." Then he looked down, and then back at me, "Goodnight Elena" he said disappearing. I blinked not sure what just happened and then got into my parents car.

Damon compelled me to forget that we met first. I was so confused… I couldn't understand why he did that.

"Elena?" Jeremy said opening the door and seeing Caroline and Stefan behind me. I smiled slightly trying to stop the tears that were threatening to fall. Jeremy took a step outside walked over to me and gave me a hug. I hugged him back trying to stop crying. "Shhh" he said rubbing my back, "Its okay, " I looked at him surprised. How could he say that everything was okay when I almost killed him last night? I shook my head.

"Its not okay" I said to him pulling away, "I tried to kill you"

"But you didn't" he said holding my hand.

"But I could have. If Stefan and Caroline hadn't been here I would have killed you," I said pulling away.

"Elena…" he started but I cut him off.

"No Jeremy you don't understand" I said, "I could have killed you in an instinct, you tried to help me and I sucked your blood, I… I did this… I made this transition so you wouldn't have to be alone and here I am almost killing you."

"Elena" he said walking to me and grabbing my shoulders, "Listen to me, I knew the risks when I helped you… I did it to show you that no matter what I will always be there for you…. I don't care what you are… you are my sister and I love you" and with that I hugged Jeremy and began to cry.

"Thank you," I whispered when he pulled away, he nodded. I smelt his blood but I pushed the urges inside. I wouldn't allow myself to hurt him again. He walked to the door.

"Do you want to come in?" he asked me and I nodded. I entered my house, our house; I looked around feeling so overcome with emotions. This house held so many memories of pain that it surprised me that Jeremy still lived here. Caroline and Stefan entered behind me monitoring my every move. It was kind of annoying but I understood why. They wanted to make sure that I wouldn't snap and kill someone. Then Bonnie came down the stairs, she looked at Jeremy, then at Caroline, then at Stefan, then at me. When she saw me inside the house, her face completely changed. There was no emotion at all.

"You invited her in?" She yelled at Jeremy. He froze looked at Bonnie thought about something then nodded. "Why?" she yelled, "She's not stable… Jeremy she tried to kill you last night." Bonnie wouldn't even look at me. I was so shocked. Here was Bonnie my best friend trying to kick me out of my own house. "She's a vampire Jeremy and she needs to go!"

"What?" was all I could say; when she heard that she turned to look at me with hatred in her eyes.

"Your dead Elena, a vampire… Until you can control yourself… Get Out!" she said opening the door. I looked from Jeremy to Bonnie suddenly all I could see was red.

"Your in my house!" I exploded, "Who are you to tell me to get out of my own house!" Stefan ran over to me and grabbed my arms restraining me. Caroline stood next to Bonnie ready to protect her if I charged. Even through my rage I was happy that they were here to stop me because I didn't want to hurt anyone else.

"I'm someone who cares for Jeremy!" she yelled right back, "Unlike you…. If you really cared you wouldn't be here!" That's when I was blinded by rage I growled my fangs coming out, the veins under my eyes darkening. Bonnie looked at me like she was trying to hurt me with her powers but I felt nothing. I was about to charge when Jeremy ran in the middle of us.

"NO!" he yelled. "STOP!" I didn't retract my fangs, but I just looked at him. "Elena" he said walking over to me slowly, "Calm down" I listened taking deep breaths I had seen Stefan use before and pushed the blood away. I just stood there watching my brother walk to Bonnie. "Get out" he said, Bonnie looked surprised.

"What?" she said

"I want you to get out of my house," he said again.

"She's the monster here… not me!" Bonnie started again

"She's my sister and I will always protect my family first!" he said

"But…" Bonnie began

"Oh for the love of god Bonnie" Caroline said cutting her off, "Just leave, your supposed to help Elena transition by making her feel welcome and your making her try to kill you. This is her family home Bonnie not her. She has lost almost everyone that she loves; don't make her loose someone else. So until you can accept Elena just stay away form us. Okay." Bonnie just looked at Caroline and Jeremy and walked out slamming the door behind her.

"She hates me," I whispered looking down trying to fight back the tears.

"Elena" Caroline said, "She just needs some time"

"Come here" Stefan, said hugging me. They walked me over to the couch and we all sat in silence. Suddenly and idea popped into my head.

"Jeremy," I said and he looked at me, "I… want us to be together at all times… I don't want you to be alone at night…. I want you to stay with us at the boarding house." Jeremy looked surprised, confused, and then relieved.

"To be honest," Jeremy said looking around, "I want to sell this stupid house. It has to many memories," Then he looked at Stefan, "Would it be okay if I stayed with you guys"

"Sure Jeremy," Stefan said nodding, "I think it would be good for everyone if you moved in with us. Especially for Elena"

"Are you sure you want to sell your house?" Caroline asked and we both nodded. We had lost so much in this house that it hurt to think about it. I wanted Jeremy and I to have a fresh start in a new house where we could feel safe and protected. I hugged Jeremy and he hugged me back, and then pulled away kissing my forehead. I leaned into Stefan and Caroline was talking to Stefan about something. I wasn't really paying attention. Then I remembered something else.

I walked into my room and saw Damon sitting on my windowsill.

"Cute PJs" he said smiling slightly at me

"I'm tired Damon" I said wanting him to leave and he stands up walking over to me.

"I brought you this," he said smiling hold up my necklace that I had lost earlier today.

"I thought that was gone" I said surprised that he found it. And he shook his head no. "Thank you" I said reaching to grab it and he pulled it away. "Please give it back," I said not wanting to play any games with him.

"I just have to say something," he said walking towards me.

"Why do you have to say it with my necklace" I said getting worried

"Well because what I'm about to say is probably the most selfish thing I've ever said in my life."

"Damon don't go there" I sighed

"I just have to say it once, you need to hear it" he said coming very close to me. "I love you Elena," he said with a lot of emotion in his voice, "And its because I love you that… I can't be selfish with you… why you can't know this… I don't deserve you… but my brother does" he said, then he kissed me on the forehead and I sighed not sure what to do in that moment as he tucked some of my hair behind my ear gently "God I wish you didn't have to forget this" he said with a tear in his eye, "but you do" Then he disappeared.

I stood in my room alone, I held my necklace not sure what had just happened and I sat on the bed.

I had been compelled to forget that as well. Damon had told me he loved me. That he wished we could be together and then he took my memory away because he didn't want to be selfish. I was so confused at that moment I didn't know what to do. Here I thought that I had chosen Stefan because Damon and I even though we were great friends, he never told me he loved me. Stefan had and I was sure that I loved Stefan. I was sure that I was destined to be with Stefan forever but now that I remember these things I find myself questioning everything once again. I wondered where Damon was. I hadn't seen him since our talk at the hospital. I wished Damon was here to help me, but he wasn't. Only Stefan was. I pushed those thoughts of Damon out of my mind and thought about my new life.

The next day I went to a local real-estate agency in town to put our house on the market. We didn't even wait for a buyer to come nocking we just packed all our things and moved them into the Salvatore Boarding house. The first person interested in the house, bought it thanks to compulsion. I felt kind of bad that I forced them to move into the house but I wanted it gone. My plan, Jeremy's plan, our plan was to stay at the boarding house until I had complete self control then we would move into our own house. Everyday Stefan and Caroline would help me. Help me fight the hunger that consumed me. Help me be a better person, help me not hurt anyone. I fought with all my strength but there were times where I slipped up. Where I would hurt someone. Where I almost killed someone… and they where always there for me, helping me along the way. Helping me see that I was going to be okay. That everything was going to be all right. It was hard but I was determined to do it because I wanted to be normal. I wanted to feel normal, to at least be part of who I used to be. I was determined to feel human.

Okay so this one was a little longer. I know I'm writing in Elena's point of view a lot but i wanted people to see what she is going through in her point of view. I hope you like it. always remember to review. Thanks love you!