Hogwarts, School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, Heads' Common Room, September 13, 1977…
James sighed, staring up at the ceiling with a glare. Papers littered around him, making a strange sort of nest as he finally groaned in frustration and yanked his glasses off, rubbing at his eyes. He sighed once more, trying to think, before giving up and putting the glasses back on, only to find that Hermione was standing there and watching him. He gave a start before blinking. "How'd you get in here?"
"Remus told me the password," she said simply before tilting her head, "Where's Flower?"
"Flower?" James repeated with a grin, "You mean Lily?"
"We call her Flower after the skunk from Bambi. So yes."
"Well, that's nice of you to do so," he snorted before blinking, "What's a Bambi?" She waved the question away, making him shrug, "I don't know where Lily is."
"Oh," she sighed before dropping down next to him, looking over his papers and things, "Eww, I hate Herbology." She plucked a paper from off the table, inspecting it with squinting eyes before turning to James and arching an eyebrow at the innocent looking boy. "Why do you have sketches of killing off – who is this?" She squinted again, holding the paper closer to her face.
"Nobody," he said quickly, taking the paper out of her hands and crumpling it up, tossing it behind them and spreading his arms across the couch as she arched an eyebrow at him again. He only grinned at her as the portrait opened, leaving Sirius, Remus and Peter to wander through before Sirius stopped and groaned, turning around to walk out of the door before Remus stopped him and pushed him forward again, all while being distracted by his book.
"Do you know where Lily is?" Hermione asked, leaning forward in her seat a little.
"Err – no," Remus shrugged.
"She might've been – no, wait – no she was at – no, wait, that was Mary – ooh, it might've been her at the – no, that wasn't," Peter offered, getting excited every time only to deflate again.
"Dunno," Sirius shrugged, walking forward to sit in the chair, looking blandly at a few of James' papers.
Hermione groaned and dropped her face in her hands, "Lily! I need to talk to you and you're suddenly invisible!"
"What do you want to talk to Lily about?" James asked curiously, making those in the room look at him strangely. "Oh, come on," he rolled his eyes, "It's nothing I can't handle."
"I doubt it," Hermione laughed, getting up and sitting on James' lap, which was a habit she'd started somewhere around their fourth year, for whatever silly reason that neither could think up, except that it confused the hell out of their friends. "Do you have advice for attracting a male? I think not."
"Oh contraire, Grangaire," Sirius said, making her frown and turn to him, "Prongs has a lovely pink mumu that you could borrow."
Hermione snorted, "A mumu? I said 'attract,' Black, not 'repel.' And pink, James?" She turned to her cushion, "What were you thinking? Red is totally your color."
James rolled his eyes, sighing, "Hermione, get off."
"Why?" she pouted. "You've never wanted me to get off of you before."
"Before, it didn't remind me that I don't have a girlfriend. But now it does."
"Why don't you just date Flower?" she asked, still not moving.
He blinked at her, looking at her strangely, "What do you think I've been trying to do?"
"Oh. That was what you were trying to do?" she arched her eyebrows at him, "Well, you're not doing very well, are you?"
James growled at her, making her laugh and stand up, heading for the portrait hole, when he stopped her, "Wait, Hermione?"
"Yeah?" she asked, turning around and blinking at him.
"Why won't Evans date me?" he asked, making Black splutter, as that was the question usually asked to him or the other Marauders.
"Besides the fact that you occasionally refer to her as 'Evans'?" Hermione asked dully, "She hates that you know."
"Well now I do. But what else is there? Why won't she date me?"
"James, boys, I'm going to let you in on a little secret," Hermione smiled as she walked closer, "You see, the female race is actually very stupid."
"What?" James blinked at her, wondering where the hell she was going with this.
"It's true! Why do you think we have to look pretty? To distract from the fact that, oftentimes, we really are quite dumb."
"What are you on about, Granger?" Sirius asked, frowning up at her.
"See – that, right there," she pointed to Sirius, "That, among very many other reasons that I won't begin to list because it would take too long, is why I won't date Black."
Sirius huffed and pretended to be offended, but really he was intrigued now.
"James, you've known Lily for seven years, but you still call her Evans," she held up her hands as he opened his mouth to protest, "Now I know, I know, that you've been calling her that less and less, but you still call her that occasionally. From now on, never call her 'Evans.'"
At that moment, Lily stepped in and sighed at the amount of people in the Common Room. "Oh joy. It's all of my favorite little nuisances in one room. The stars are shining brightly down upon me."
"But's it's still daytime," Peter noticed.
"Flower, I need help," Hermione cried, pouting at her until Lily waved her along up to her room with a wave of her hand. Hermione bounded up the staircase, leaving Lily to drop her bag at the door.
"So Lily, how was your day Lily, did you like the Divination lesson today Lily?" James asked excitedly, trying to hide a few of his papers.
Lily stared strangely at him for a moment before walking past and going up the staircase, "Ohh-kay," she chirped. They waited until they heard the door shut before Sirius, Remus and Peter started to laugh.
"Mate, what the bloody hell was that?" Sirius asked as James' face started to turn red.
"What?" he asked.
"You said 'Lily' about seventeen times in that sentence," Remus chuckled.
"I thought it was only three," Peter gaped.
Remus sighed and rolled his eyes but said nothing.
"Oh shove off," James glared.
"What do you want?" Lily sighed as she flopped backwards on her bed, Hermione scrambling up to sit cross-legged next to her.
"Lily, why can't I get a boyfriend?" she asked.
"Umm…I don't know, I'm not a guy," Lily flipped over on her stomach, "Maybe it's because you're smart. So smart it's off-putting."
"But you're smart too! And you get plenty of guys!"
"But I have red hair. Guys love red hair," she grinned as Hermione seemed to deflate. Lily gasped as she realized that she'd struck a nerve – Hermione's hair, though not as big as it was in their first year, still wasn't how she wanted it. It was still curly, yes, but also a massive frizz-zone. Socks had stuck to her head in their second year. "Oh no, Hermione, I didn't mean – I mean, your hair it's – "
Hermione tilted her head so she could glare at the frizzy locks, "A brown mass of doom?"
"No," Lily huffed and sat up, "It's got character."
"Is that what we're calling it now?" she asked dully, shaking her hair away from her face.
"It just shows how wild and fun you are," Lily smiled, liking her statement as she ignored Hermione's spiteful question.
"Or how little I know about hair," she muttered, rolling her eyes, "But Lily - !"
"No buts!" the redhead stopped with a glare, "Maybe the reason why you can't get a guy is because of that negative attitude."
Hermione sighed and was silent for a few moments, the two losing the topic and going on to sit in silence until Hermione innocently asked, "So what's with you and James?"
"Out," she said with a frown, "Out of my room, right now."
"Why?" she asked as the girl had her stand up and began to push her out, "It was just a simple question!"
"Out!" Lily repeated. Hermione stumbled a little down the stairs as Lily slammed the door shut. She sighed and rolled her eyes, coming to a stop at the sight of the four boys in a massive pile. They stopped and winced at her.
"What?" was all she asked.
"James took my book – "
"Sirius is a prat and I – "
"I don't even know how I got in here and – "
"Did you solve your boy drama?" Sirius asked, upside down and underneath James, but on top of Remus.
"No," Hermione said darkly before groaning and collapsing on the couch, "I think it's my hair. Is it my hair?"
James rolled his eyes as he began to untangle himself from his friends, "No, your hair's lovely."
"I think you're lying."
"I think you'd be better off blonde, but I like blondes so maybe it's that," Peter rambled happily as he popped up.
Remus, however, was still stuck underneath Sirius, who showed no sign of getting up whatsoever. "I think that you should get Padfoot off of me and worry about your hair later."
"I think you should have a pink fro," Sirius grinned, "I'm sure it'd look fantastic."
Hermione groaned again and stood up, glaring at them as she exited the room, "You're about as much help as Lily."
"Wait! Are you gonna get him off me or not?" Remus called back worriedly.
"Not my mate – not my problem!" she called before the portrait swung shut. Remus groaned as Sirius picked his head up and watched her go before catapulting himself up and off of Remus, running after her as Remus was left to cough and splutter from having his ribs being used to push off of.
"Hey!" he yelped, making Hermione slow and turn around to him. He came to a halt, frowning down at her. "Why do you care?"
"What?" she blinked at him.
"Why do you care that you can't get a guy? Did you ever think that maybe guys are stupid too?" he waited for her to answer before continuing with a small smile, "Why do you think we're all pretty?"
She snorted and shook her head at him, "Okay. That was actually helpful. I think. No, wait, not really."
"Alright, try this – flirt," at her blank expression he sighed, "Give guys a reason to be interested. You're Miss Future Librarian. Become Miss Girl You Wanna Date."
She blinked at him, "Umm…wow. Thanks, Sirius." She shot him a smile before walking away, thinking on how she was going to do this act, leaving him to smile behind her before gasping and gaping at himself.
"I'm an idiot," he groaned before banging his head on the wall.
"I miss Frank," Alice proclaimed sadly as she hung off of her bed. Hermione blinked at her friend, tugging her wrap tighter around herself as she smiled a little.
"Any reason in particular?" she asked, setting her book aside and checking the window to see that it was, in fact, still storming loudly.
"Frank hugged me when it stormed," Alice pouted, tracing the lines on her hand before sighing. Hermione sent her a sympathetic smile before she went back to her book. Alice sighed again and frowned at her, "You don't get it. You're like a nun."
"Except I'm not Catholic, and I'm pretty sure most religions frown upon practicing witchcraft," Hermione snorted and rolled her eyes at her. Being the only other person in the room, they were free to talk about whatever they wanted to. Mary and Hestia had clocked out and were talking to their respective Quidditch playing boyfriends, which would set James off except they always rooted for their own Houses when a game came up.
"Well, I don't know. Nobody's really tried since the sixteen or seventeen hundreds," Alice shrugged before a large crash was heard downstairs. Hermione jumped up and was already out the door as Alice scrambled for her blanket to wrap around herself, for fear of anybody seeing her pink bunny pajamas.
"What's going on?" Hermione asked as she burst into the Common Room, splitting the large crowd that surrounded a couple of fifth year girls.
"Stay out of it, Hermione!" one growled, glaring at the other.
"No, I won't," Hermione said, stepping between the two as Alice slowly weaved her way through, "Now what's happening?"
"Rachel kissed Jessica's boyfriend," a small girl, Jessica's little sister, said quietly, "Jessie's mad."
"Wands?" Alice whispered out of the corner of her mouth, to which the girl shook her head to.
"Knock it off, girls!" Hermione yelled as soon as they jumped for each other. Right after this was said, Hermione quickly staggered back, leaning over with her hands clutching her injured nose. When she pulled her hands back to check, there was red in her palms, as well as on her face. The girl who'd hit her gaped at her as Hermione glared. By the time Hermione was reaching forward to get retaliation, Sirius had his arm hooked around her stomach to swing her back and into his arms.
"Nah-ah, Granger! Save that for Quidditch!" he said, picking her up and throwing her over his shoulder as she growled and tried to reach for the girl. "Make way, pissed-off Gryffindor coming through! But Merlin, she's light-weight!"
The crowd quickly dispersed, letting Sirius deposit her in a chair by the fire, crouching down to peer at the blood as she glared further at the paling blonde girl. Alice was quickly by her side, gaping at her as Remus tried to hide his laughs behind a drooling Peter.
"You alright there, Granger?" Sirius asked, smiling a little, "You looked ready to maul her."
"I was," Hermione brooded before turning to him and frowning, "Why wouldn't you let me punch her?"
"Punch?" he blinked, "Most girls slap and pull hair."
"Don't ever remember Hermione being like most girls," Lily said from behind, making them turn to look at the glaring redhead with her arms crossed.
"Oh – Lily! Hiya!" Hermione laughed, leaning back and hiding behind Sirius a little, "So – err – what brings you here?"
"Tommy Flannigan ran up and got me and James after the fight started," she said grimly.
"And – umm – how much did you see?" Alice asked quietly.
"Right when Hermione got bitch-slapped," Lily said calmly, making Hermione wince a little but choose to step around reprimanding Lily.
"See? It was clearly justified," Sirius grinned, standing up and sending Hermione into the floor, "She got slapped and went to retaliate."
"I don't care – she's not supposed to do it. Get upstairs and I'll talk to you later," Lily ordered, glaring at Hermione.
"But Lily - !" she tried to argue.
"Up!" she repeated, making Hermione stand up and grumble as she did as she was asked. Alice quietly slid into the vacant seat and stared innocently up at Lily.
"So," Sirius started after an awkward silence, "Where's Prongs?"
"He's hiding. Said he didn't want to be a witness to an inevitable double murder. Totally missed you clothes-lining Hermione."
"Pity," Sirius sighed, "That was such a nice moment for me."
"Look, Sirius, I really am glad you stopped her from doing what she almost did," Lily admitted with a sigh before smiling at him a little.
"Why?" he questioned.
"I can't tell you – maybe someday she will though," she shrugged before tapping Alice on the shoulder, "C'mon, I have to go talk to her."
Alice nodded and popped up, shooting Sirius a smile before heading up the stairs with her.
Hermione glared up at the ceiling, hugging her pillow. Alice was silent before she rolled over to whisper to her in the darkness.
"Lily does have a point though," she admitted, "You couldn't have afforded to get into a fight."
"I know," Hermione sighed before standing up and crawling into Alice's bed, "I guess I owe Black one, huh?"
"Yeah – sorry, Love," Alice grinned as Hermione groaned, running her hands through her hair in an attempt to calm her down.
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, Gryffindor Breakfast Table, Great Hall, September 13, 1977…
"Hey – it's our little street fighter," Sirius grinned as Hermione dropped down in a seat across from him with a sigh. Remus was reading a book and blindly jabbing food at his face, his mouth not even open to receive it. Hermione watched this for a few moments before shaking her head.
"Look – for reasons you don't know and for reasons I won't even begin to explain – thank you for stopping me from getting into a fight," she said, making him blink before smiling at him, "You really did help me out." She waved at him before lowering Remus' book so he could eat, grinning before going back to Alice and Lily.
"What was that about?" James asked as he took the seat Hermione had just vacated.
"I don't really know," Sirius just shook his head before snorting, "Birds are weird."
"Birds are weird. Girls are weirder though," Remus hummed, wiping his face free of syrup and finally taking a bite of his food.
"Alright, I get it – girls have feelings and don't appreciate being called a bird," Sirius rolled his eyes, grinning at James as there had been no mention of him to stop calling girls 'birds.'
"Actually, they really don't," James winced, thinking back to his encounter with Lily that morning.
Sirius and Remus exchanged glances before sighing at their friend, "Prongs."