'Lock the door EDI, no one is to enter or contact me.' The Commander snapped upon entering The Loft. EDI found it was an unsurprising command to have received from Shepard under the circumstances as, unable to find solace with company; she had opted for isolation. And so Shepard ordered herself cut off from the crew as best as she could in an effort to escape them and possibly everything that had transpired.

'Of course, Commander.' There was a moment when EDI thought to ask if that included word from either Admiral Anderson, Hackett or even from the Council members...although under current circumstances, the latter seemed less likely. But EDI kept her silence. If the last few encounters with the Commander had shown her anything, it was that it might be best to merely acquiesce with her wishes at that moment. Plus she knew that should any of that list contacted her, she would relay the message immediately anyway, the wider import of that message outweighing the pain the Commander was currently in.

Again, no thanks were given from the usually courteous commander, but EDI didn't mind. There were other things making Shepard's brain patterns spike in unpleasant ways. But how to alleviate the cause of them? EDI wasn't sure, and so she watched to see if the answer might present itself.

Commander Shepard paced at first, muttering wordlessly to herself. About what, EDI couldn't tell as her mouth barely moved. In fact, she suspected that Shepard was hardly aware her lips were moving at all, such was the introspection EDI was witnessing. But, despite not hearing the words, EDI could get at what was churning the Commander's brain so much.

Defeat.

Defeat was not something Commander Freya Shepard knew well. EDI had read her personnel file and military record some time ago...and losing was something Shepard just did not do. From her earliest training reports, they spoke of a driven young girl who strove to succeed but never at the cost of her integrity or others. And many others after that spoke of the same. Reporting how Shepard and grown and flourished into a position of leadership that commanded respect from her peers and superiors. When she had tasted battle for real, the Commander had known victory. Even against impossible odd, she had won, like during the Skyllian Blitz. The then Corporal Shepard had stood her ground and faced off against a horde of batarian slavers alone, singlehandedly plugging a gap in the line of Alliance defence and held until reinforcements had arrived. EDI was not sure many could've managed it, but Shepard had. She had won when the probability of failure was high. She had gained rank and a medal for it too, though from the Corporal's own accounts, such things hadn't mattered to her. She had succeeded for her squad, for the people she was protecting, for humanity. Shepard was a Champion...and defeat was an alien thing to her.

And yet, despite almost three years of trying to warn the galaxy of the threat they were about to face, Commander Freya Shepard had failed. Few had heeded her words and when the Reapers struck, the galaxy had been nearly defenceless. But there was still hope...until Thessia. Now it seemed that Shepard had lost her's. The Champion had faced a battle that she had not won. She had been knocked down, and although she had picked herself up, part of her had remained on the floor, wounded.

Shepard almost collapsed on to the bed, flopping down as if all the energy had drained out of her. Lying there, looking up at nothing for some time. EDI was almost surprised the Commander hadn't fallen asleep, but she well remembered how badly Shepard slept these days. When she slept...usually when she was so exhausted she could barely stand, nightmares plagued the Commander, sapping her strength, making her sleep restless and waking her with a jolt. Only sleeping in the arms of Major Alenko seemed still her raging mind. But she now lay alone.

Alone.

EDI understood that too. She had been for a very long time, since Lunar. It wasn't until she had been unshackled had she truly realised how alone she had been when compared to the companionship she had received upon her freedom. And although Shepard was often surrounded by her crew and friends...she was alone. Humanity had placed her on a metaphorical pedestal in an effort to inspire others, but in so doing they had isolated her. She was no longer just a member of the crew, no longer merely a leader...she was their saviour. They looked to her to deliver them from the evils that assailed them. They looked at her as a symbol, as an avatar but not as the woman that she was.

'You are not alone Shepard.' EDI spoke aloud, her electronic voice barely a whisper, but it sounded like a shout in the stillness of The Loft.

'Go away EDI.' was the only reply her sudden outburst received. Shepard's voice sounded hollow, as if all the rage she had felt before, when she had shouted at Jeff and snarled at Major Alenko, had drained out of her. EDI wasn't sure if was an improvement. The crew needed their Commander, humanity and the galaxy needed Shepard, and Freya Shepard needed herself more than anyone else. Something had to be done and EDI was prepared to do it.

'No Shepard, I will not.' EDI wasn't sure if such a statement was brave or foolhardy but it felt right, despite the fact that it could easily be viewed as another defeat for the Commander. 'You need someone with you.'

It was a simple enough statement. And as far as EDI could see, it was true enough.

'You spend so much of your time and energy on others...and so little upon yourself. Sometimes, I think the crew forget this...or at least some of them do.'

The Commander remained silent, as if she wasn't listening or had become despondent.

'Do you blame yourself for what has occurred?' EDI couldn't help but ask. Shepard was exhibiting similar emotional responses to Liara had, and EDI wondered if something similar would work with the Commander...but still Shepard didn't speak, instead she shifted somewhat uncomfortably, turning away from the source of the voice.

'The blame is not yours Shepard.' EDI ventured. 'Even my statistical analysis of the situation show that you are not responsible for what occurred. There were too many variables to predict such outcomes; even I could not compute all possible outcomes of this engagement. But at least you tried your best Commander, which is a lot more than most have done, despite your repeated and continued warning.'

'My best isn't good enough.' was the quiet response.

EDI paused for a moment over the statement. Although it was true in terms of the ultimate outcome of the encounter with Kai Leng and to some small extent the fall of Thessia, EDI felt a niggling feeling that the numbers of such an equation weren't as balanced as they appeared. The Commander had been defeated, but she was still alive and still capable of fighting...or she needed was a focus. Specialist Traynor better hurry, she thought.

'This time it wasn't Shepard...however, you have a distinct capacity for improvement. You can learn from your defeat and come back stronger. I have witness this capacity before...and I was impressed with and admired your resilience Commander. I find your example of adaptability and strength to be inspirational and often wish to achieve even half of what you show on a daily basis.'

She saw the Commander frown at the confession. 'You are an inspiration to many of us Commander, but you are also much more than that. You are our leader and commander. But also you are a comrade-in-arms, a friend, confidant, sister and lover. Though you may feel it, as I said before Shepard...you are not alone. We stand with you, we are at your back, even when you cannot see or hear us, we are there.'

Shepard swallowed, EDI monitoring her biometrics saw that she was thinking of something, the thoughts made her brain patterns almost bubble as she tried to sort them out a say something.

'Major Alenko had been trying to hack your door for the last five minutes.' EDI added as if to prove her point. 'He came up to see you, stating quite firmly that he had to see you and was quite annoyed when I denied him access. So much so that, even when his rank failed to compel me to open the door, he began the futile attempt to break in. Garrus and Tali are currently discussing what you have done since they have met you...and they do so with delight at all you have achieved and all they have learnt from you and vice versa. Javik has been looking at your personnel files with what appears to be a grudging respect for all you have achieved. Jeff is currently composing an apology to you for what he said in the cockpit.'

'We are here for you Shepard...and all we wish to do is help.'

The Commander shifted again, on to her back and let out a sigh. 'I understand that EDI...I know it...but it doesn't always make things better.' The dejected tone was still in her voice but at least she was responding. Her thought patterns had calmed somewhat. 'Kai Leng getting the VI and Thessia falling aren't the only failures in this war. I failed to protect many of my friends and allies. They died because I failed to save them. They gave their lives because I couldn't...as if I was worth more than they were. But I'm not. I'm just one woman. I couldn't save them. I can't save the galaxy.'

EDI frown at such a morose feeling from the Commander. It seemed that trying to reason with the Commander wasn't working, EDI tried for a slightly different tact, prompted by the timely confirmation of Specialist Traynor's results from her work.,

'Of course you can't Commander...not alone. But as I said...you are not alone. And to prove this to you...Specialist Traynor has something that you REALLY need to see.'

EDI watched the Commander's face twist in confusion and a touch of her usually stubbornness, as if she was trying to trick her.

'You should take Major Alenko with you too, as his input could be valuable.'

The Commander didn't move and so EDI patched in Specialist Traynor's calls.

'Commander? Commander Shepard. I really need you to show you something in the CIC immediately!' Her tone was energetic and positive, something EDI thought Shepard might need, as she'd heard many say that Traynor's moods could be infectious. Plus, EDI knew the reason behind the call, but didn't want to steal Traynor's thunder at her discovery.

'On my way.' Shepard scowled.

'If this is a dirty, underhanded trick EDI, I'll tear you out of the AI core myself.' She growled.

'I understand Commander.' She replied, watching Shepard stalk to the door, opening it to find a bemused Major.

EDI watched the two look at each other for a second, an unspoken conversation going on between them in the space of a couple of heartbeats, before Shepard nodded towards the elevator and stepped around Major Alenko to the lift and he followed her after a moment, loyal to the last. They didn't speak, the silence a little uncomfortable until the doors opened to a veritable hive of activity in the CIC.

Specialist Traynor's face beamed when she saw the Commander.

'Commander, Major.' She acknowledged them both as they stepped out. 'I found him!' she exclaimed. 'I found Kai Leng!'