Three weeks had passed since the anti-drinking assembly, and Finn wasn't feeling any better. He felt like he was supposed to be beyond furious about the fact that the only girlfriend he'd ever had had betrayed him in more ways than he could count, but instead all he could do was miss her and the happy times they'd had. Her face was everywhere. In their bedroom, in the choir room, in the cafeteria, in the clusters of snobby cheerleaders who giggled when their boyfriends slushied Finn in the face and called him out for being the has-been that he was, in the sweet little moments that he saw between other boyfriends and girlfriends walking around hand-in-hand. It was all too much. He felt like he was barely living his life anymore, getting up every day, deciding which of his friends' homework he should be copying for which subjects, pretending to pay attention in his morning classes, eating his lunch not really caring what it tasted like, pretending to pay attention in his afternoon classes, lip-synching his way through Glee club, picking up Lily, and then heading home. The only time that he ever felt even remotely alive was when he was with her. It had been bittersweet when she'd finally stopped crying and looking around for Quinn, although sometimes when a photo of Quinn happened to catch Lily's eye, she would stop what she was doing and point to it in confusion. It was for that reason alone that Finn hadn't destroyed every photo of Quinn in the house by now. Which may have been a blessing in disguise, because sometimes he still liked looking at them.

But as out of it as he was, even Finn had to notice that there was something really weird going on at school, and he was pretty sure that Ms. Holiday coming back had something to do with it. It all started one day when Finn showed up to Glee club in his usual zombie-like state and Brittany skipped up to him and whispered, "Finn, I need your advice."

Finn's first thought was that only Brittany would ask his advice at a time like this, hell, he didn't even know how to live his own life anymore. "What's up?"

"Did Quinn tell you why she got so fat while you guys were waiting for the stork to bring Lily?" whispered Brittany. "Because I really don't want that to happen to me."

Finn gave Brittany an appropriately stupefied look as she bit her lip in anticipation. "Don't you remember when we all brought Quinn to the hospital the day Lily was born?"

"Yeah, I remember," said Brittany.

"Don't you know why we were at a hospital?" said Finn.

"Duh, I'm not an idiot," said Brittany. "I know that sometimes when the stork gets busy he'll just drop all the babies off at the hospital and let their parents pick them up there. My mom and dad told me that twelve years ago when my little brother was born."

And ever since then, everyone in Glee club, seemed to be talking about nothing but…sex. Sometimes they even sang songs about it, like Ms. Holiday and Brittany and Santana probably were right now. Was that really necessary? That just made him think about Quinn even more both because she was the only person he'd ever had sex with and because she'd been lying about losing her virginity to him.

"Finn?" said Mr. Shu.

"I can't," said Finn.

"I didn't ask you to do anything," said Mr. Shu.

"Oh," said Finn.

"Finn, I want you to go see Ms. Pillsbury now," said Mr. Shu.

"No thanks, I'm fine," said Finn.

"That was not a request," said Mr. Shu. "Everyone can see you aren't fine. Mercedes will walk you there."

Finn was about to protest, but them he looked up and saw Brittany and Santana hugging and kissing each other on the lips in the center of the room and wondered if he was, in fact, losing his mind. He got up and began following Mercedes to the guidance office.

"Do you want me to go in with you?" offered Mercedes.

"No thanks," said Finn. "I'll be back in a minute, she'll probably just give me a pamphlet."

Mercedes patted Finn's shoulder as he went in. Then she lingered by the glass for a moment as she sat down until Ms. Pillsbury noticed her and waved her away. She headed back to the choir room, and about fifty feet down the hall, she turned and looked back. She blinked back a few tears when she saw that Finn was crying. Except at the funeral and at Lily's birth, she'd never seen him cry.

"No, Finn, I'm sorry, I really don't have any pamphlets on how to forget about people," said Emma. "I only have pamphlets on how to recognize signs of depression, all of which you already have."

"I'm not depressed," said Finn.

"Really?" said Emma. "Because I see you every day walking through life like nothing means anything anymore."

"You want to know what I am?" snapped Finn. "I'm pissed off. Why the hell did she have to go to that stupid party?" And more importantly, why did he still have to care so much about her?

"You do have every right to be angry," said Emma. "But I'm still not entirely convinced that you aren't depressed. The other signs you have are…" Finn saw her grab a pamphlet about suicide prevention.

"I'm not going to kill myself, you know," said Finn. "I have a daughter."

"How do feel when you're with her?" asked Emma.

"Better," Finn admitted. "Not a hundred percent happy or anything, but life doesn't feel pointless when I'm with her." He stopped when he realized that what he was saying wasn't exactly making his case about not being depressed.

"Then I think that you need to spend more time with her," said Emma.

"How am I supposed to do that?" said Finn. "I'm already with her all the time when I'm not at school or at Glee practice, and I can't quit Glee club because my friends there are all I've got anymore."

Emma pulled a slip of paper out of her drawer. "I'm suspending you from school for three weeks. Don't worry, this won't go on your permanent record."

"Why are you punishing me?" yelled Finn. "Don't you think feeling responsible for the death of my baby's mother is punishment enough?"

"Finn, you didn't force the alcohol down her throat," said Emma.

"But I kicked her out of my house," said Finn. "That's why she ended up at that stupid party."

"I'm sure that whatever went down, you had no way of knowing that was going to happen," said Emma, filling out a suspension form for Finn as she spoke. "Bottom line, this isn't a punishment. This is for your own good, Finn. Trust me."

"But what about Regionals?" said Finn.

"I won't stop you from going," said Emma. "Talk to Mr. Schuster about that later. For now I want you to get your stuff and go home."

Too weak to protest at that point, Finn took the suspension form to bring home to his mom, left the office, and mindlessly headed back to the choir room. "Mr. Shu, I…"

"Not now, Finn," said Brittany. "I have an announcement to make." She walked into the center of the room and stood by the piano. "You know how every couple in here gets a new name, like Puck and Rachel were Puckleberry, and Artie and Tina are Artina? Today, a new one is formed: Brittana. I love you, Santana. I always have." That was followed up by another passionate kiss that made everyone's eyes pop. Puck, Sam, and Artie all had their jaws practically on the floor.

"What is it that you wanted to say, Finn?" said Mr. Schu.

"Just that Ms. Pillsbury suspended me for three weeks," said Finn, grabbing his backpack off of his seat. "But I'm still with you for Regionals if that's okay."

"Of course," said Mr. Schu, secretly thinking that he'd have to have someone on deck to replace Finn in case he wasn't feeling well that day. "Do you need a ride home?"

"No, thanks," said Finn. "I need to stop by the Fabrays' house to pick up Lily first anyway."

"What's wrong, Lily?" said Finn as he lifted his tiny daughter out of her car seat. Lily whimpered. "Want your teddy bear?" He handed her the little pink stuffed bear Mrs. Fabray had given her. He tried not to think about the fact that Quinn had been much better of knowing exactly what Lily was upset about when, but the thought stuck. As Finn unlocked the front door of his house and stepped inside, Lily in one arm and his backpack and diaper bag both slung over the other, he heard the sound of a woman crying. He almost turned around and left to go visit Burt at the shop instead, because the last thing he needed was to walk in on his mom crying over Quinn for the third time that week. That was always embarrassing for both of them-for Carole because she was mourning the death of the girl who she knew had cheated on her son and for Finn because his mom was crying over his girlfriend's death more then he was. But then he remembered that Burt and his mom were out having lunch with friends, so that couldn't be what was going on.

"I really shouldn't be so devastated. I mean, this was inevitable, wasn't it? But not because for this reason! I even tried setting up a counseling session for us like my Dads had, but our school counselor isn't helpful at all, all she did was tell us to focus less on our relationship and more on preparing for college."

Finn stepped closer. He froze a little when he saw Rachel sitting on the living room couch next to Kurt wiping her eyes with a tissue. Kurt put both of his hands on Rachel's shoulders. "Rachel, look at me," said Kurt. "He's not worth it, okay? You're an amazing, kind, and generous girl, and someday you are going to find someone who loves you for more than your voice and your body."

That, of course, was the moment that Lily chose to fling her teddy bear into Rachel's lap, causing both her and Kurt to look up with a start. "Sorry!" said Finn quickly. "I was only here for a few seconds and…uh…sorry." He turned and began walking down the hallway as fast as he could with all he was carrying.

"Finn?" said Rachel. "Wait."

He paused and turned around. "Yeah?" he mumbled, still slightly mortified.

Rachel came up to him slowly with the teddy hear in her hand. Wordlessly she put the bear in Lily's arms. "Thanks," said Finn, forcing himself to smile.

"Your welcome," said Rachel. "How are you guys doing?" She looked away a little as she said that, as if it might hide the fact that her eyes and cheeks were bright red from crying.

"Getting by," said Finn. "Thanks. Oh, by the way, if you and Jesse need a counselor, try Ms. Pillsbury. I'm sure she'll be willing to see you."

"I will," said Rachel. "Thanks." Then she smiled a little and turned around to go back to the living room where Kurt was.

"Mm!" Lily squealed approvingly as she pointed at Rachel. "Yeah, she's a great girl," said Finn. "Brilliant singer, too." He sighed and kissed her fuzzy dark hair. "Just like your Mommy."

Quietly, Rachel walked through the halls of her former school, hoping to avoid an interrogation or worse, a slushie facial, as she made her way to the guidance office. She wasn't quite sure what she was doing here, it wasn't like things were going to work out between her and Jesse after what had happened. But other than Kurt, who was depressed enough these days by the fact that Blaine was terminally clueless, she really had no one else who she could talk to about what had happened. Her last conversation with Jesse flashed through her mind.

"You said Shelby's not going to be back for another hour, right? Just take off your damn clothes and let's get this over with."
"Jesse, this isn't funny. I told you, I'm still waiting for the right time."
"There have been plenty of right times!"
"Not for me," said Rachel quietly.
"I can't keep doing this, Rachel," said Jesse. "I have done absolutely everything right. I don't deserve to wait more than a year to have sex with my own girlfriend."
Rachel gulped. "I'm not ready," she said, not knowing what else to say.
"Then when will you be?" said Jesse. "Look at me." Rachel looked up at her boyfriend tentatively as he put his hand on her cheek. "Do you see yourself ever being ready to have sex with me?"
Three minutes had passed before the tears welled up in Rachel's eyes and she whispered her answer. "No."
Wordlessly, Jesse grabbed his sheet music and everything else of his that happened to be in Rachel's room and walked out the door.

The guidance office was empty when Rachel walked through the door. She sat down in front of the desk, thinking that it wouldn't be too much of an intrusion to wait inside as long as she didn't get anything dirty. She scanned Ms. Pillsubry's desk for pamphlets that might be helpful and noticed that there was a wedding ring and a key resting on the desk with a note under them. Before Rachel could stop herself, she read it.

"Emma,
I'm sorry to be leaving you like this, but I have a feeling that this is easier for both of us because after you admitted to still being in love with Will Schuster we really have nothing more to say to each other. I know now that that's the only reason you never put out for me. I've loved you. I've given you everything. I've dealt with your issues. I don't deserve to wait this long to have sex with my own wife because of another guy. I already have all my stuff out of the apartment and I'll send you the divorce papers by Thursday.
Wish you the best,
Carl"

Rachel suddenly got up and stepped away from the desk, embarrassed to have read the note but also suddenly realizing what had happened. "I couldn't do it with Jesse because I'm still in love with Finn," she thought, surprised that this realization came with a slight shock. Deciding she didn't need to see a counselor after all, she left and started crying as soon as she got to her car. After all this time, she was still in love with Finn. And it would be completely inhuman for her to go after him right now.

Finn sat down on his bed next to Lily, who was playing with a few stuffed animals. "Lily, can you say Dada?" said Finn.

Lily blinked her green eyes. "Da?"

Finn smiled. "Close enough."

Lily smiled and pointed to a picture of Quinn on the nightstand. "Da?"

Finn sighed. "No, that's Mama."

"Mama," murmured Lily.

Finn froze for a second. Had he really just heard that? Tears welled up in his eyes.

"Hey, Finn?" said Burt, stepping in through the open bedroom door. "Want to watch a game? Hey, are you okay?"

Finn opened his mouth to tell Burt he was fine and then closed it again because he was afraid that if he talked he'd start crying for real.

"What is it?" said Burt.

Lily grinned at Burt and pointed to the picture of Quinn. "Mama," she said, firmly this time.

Burt was quiet for a moment. "That was her first real word, wasn't it?"

"Pretty much," said Finn. "Why couldn't she have said that when she was still alive?" Before he could stop himself, he was imagining what would be happening if Quinn was in the room right now. She would squeal with excitement, praise Lily, kiss her on the head, she and he would be laughing, she'd tease him about the fact that Lily had said Mama before Dada, kiss him…

"I hate this," mumbled Finn. "I'm supposed to hate her. The woman cheated on me twice and right now all I can do is miss her, how stupid is that?"

Burt patted Finn's shoulder. "You know something?" said Burt. "Kurt's mother used to iron everything we owned. Her T-Shirts. My work shirts. Kurt's play clothes. Underwear. Even socks. That irritated the crap out of me. I never got it, who the hell wastes their time ironing socks? There were other things she did to annoy me to be sure, like the time when she let Kurt dye my best tie pink and the fact that she got up in the middle of the night sometimes just to have a spoonful of peanut butter. But nothing annoyed me quite as much as the fact that she ironed socks. And looking back on it today, I still hate it. But right after she died, I missed ironed socks so much that I didn't think I would ever be able to wear another pair of socks as long as I lived because I knew they wouldn't be ironed. I loved thinking about her standing there at our ironing board with a basket of socks while I rolled my eyes at her." Burt walked over and put his hand on Finn's shoulder for a moment. "I know that's nothing like what you're going through, but it's always impossible to hate anything about them at first, see what I'm saying?"

"Yeah," said Finn. "I do."

Lily pointed to Finn. "Da," she said again. He had to smile. Then she pointed to Burt. "Da?"

"No, Lily," said Finn, picking her up in his arms and pointing to Burt. "This is Grandpa."