Ned knocked at the door gingerly. No response. He tried again, harder.

"What?" That wasn't the voice he gotten used to. It was rough and angry.

"Sebastian?" He heard a groan of exasperation.

"Jesus, Ned, leave me alone."

"No. I don't think you want me to. You know I won't go, so you might as well unlock the door."

"Fuck off."

"Nope. Let me in."

"Oh, God..." Ned heard the click of the lock and carefully pushed the door open, just to see Sebastian slump back into his chair, his phone in his hand, a half-empty bottle of vodka on the desk.

"Woah, did you drink all of that? What happened?" He leaned back in the chair, almost falling off, to glare at Ned as he ran to catch him.

"Yep. I drank it all by myself, and I have you to thank."

"What? I made you do this?"

"You made me call them! You shoved your perfect fucking family down my throat, so I called mine."

"And?" Ned asked warily, keeping a hand on the back of the chair. Sebastian answered slowly, slurring his speech, but Ned could still understand him.

"And, they were charming as usual. I'm still an embarrassment, I'm still a waste of space, waste of money, waste of time... I'm surprised they aren't mad at me for using up valuable Smythe sperm. I was in a uterus I didn't deserve. Some other, better kid could have that slot, and I wrecked it, because I'm a fucking asshole. It was like every other conversation with them." He spun around and poked Ned in the chest. "You know how yours took turns to wish you happy birthday? Mom and Dad passed the phone to each other to tell me what a failure I am, because they know how to share. Isn't that inspiring?" He reached for the bottle, but Ned pushed it away.

"Seb, I'm sorry-"

"Yeah, well, you should be! I'd stopped caring, I'd forgotten, and then you had to go and be all cute, talking about your niece, and, and..." He leaned forward, his elbows on his knees as his voice caught in his throat. "Oh, Ned, why couldn't I have been a pig?" Ned smiled sadly, just the way he had when he was looking at the pictures of his family before. If anyone else had said that, he would've laughed at them, but not Sebastian.

"What do you mean?"

"I wish I could've been a pig, then some nice scientist could give me cool radioactive feet and a glowy nose, and then the foxes couldn't hurt me." He took a deep breath in, sniffling. "They'd be ready to pounce, but instead, they'd just hug me and make everything OK." He looked up at Ned, his eyes shining. "Oh, Ned. Neddy. Is it so much to ask for my nose to glow like yours?" Ned leaned in and hugged him, and tried not to laugh as he felt his hair rubbing against his neck.

"Hey, it's OK. Don't be so hard on yourself." He rubbed his back to calm him down. "The foxes can't attack you here. Anyway," he pulled away to look at him, placing a hand on his cheek and wiping a tear away with his thumb, "with all this crying, your nose is pretty shiny." Sebastian laughed, letting his head fall against Ned's shoulder again. Ned just held it there, stroking his hair, whispering that it would be OK. "I know. I've got you now. You're safe."

"I don't want the foxes to eat me, Neddy."

"I don't want them to eat you either."

"You won't let them, will you?"

"Nope. I'll protect you." He kissed Sebastian's temple gently. He looked up. They both leaned in ever so slowly, their eyes locked, until their lips met. It wasn't tense like before. Ned's hand was still on the back of Sebastian's head and the other was on his knee. Seb held it there. They both relaxed completely, Ned ignoring the taste of alcohol and savouring the closeness, their tongues slowly pushing against each other. Between his inexperience and Seb's drunkenness, it was a mess, but it still felt good. Amazing. But he stopped himself. It couldn't happen like this, as much as he wanted it. "Sebastian-" he tried to pull away but was sucked back in as Seb pulled his face closer. His hand started to trail down Ned's shirt, blindly pulling at it. "No, Sebastian, stop. You need to go to bed."

"I'm not going alone-" He raised his eyebrows in surprise, but stayed firm. He pulled his head out of his grasp and took hold of his hands.

"Look at me."

"I've been looking at you for a month, I can't believe this-" He started kissing Ned's cheek and moved down to his jaw, and even though it left him breathless, Ned pushed him off again.

"Sebastian. Wait. Let's just get you into bed, then we can talk about that tomorrow. Deal?" He made a whimpering noise as if he been denied ice-cream. "I know, it's hard-" Sebastian giggled.

"You bet it is-"

"Hey, that's not what I meant. Bed. Now." He heaved him out of his chair, and he immediately flopped onto the bed. He reached out for Ned, who took his arm and used it to pull him up until his head reached the pillow. He stretched out on the bed, yawning.

"Ned, stay with me." Ned narrowed his eyes at him.

"No funny business?" He nodded, his eyes closed.

"I promise. Please. Just for a minute." Ned climbed onto the bed beside him, wrapping his arms around him to reach his hands. He kissed along his shoulder, holding him as close as he could. If his family wouldn't do it, he'd have to make up for it. He was asleep within a minute, but Ned stayed for an hour. It just felt wrong leaving him like that. He was still for a long time, then he let his hand explore Sebastian's torso, tracing the lines of his stomach, running up and down his arm, but mostly he just lay there, smelling his hair, feeling the warmth of his back against him. Eventually he stood up, making sure Sebastian was lying on his side and putting the bin next to bed in case he was sick. He took the rest of the vodka away. He knelt next to the bed, taking in every bit of the sleeping face in front of him. He pressed a soft, lingering kiss to Sebastian's cheek, and he instinctively smiled and leaned up into it. Ned shushed him and stroked his hair, and walked around the bed and out of the door. He made sure the door didn't slam behind him and held his palm flat against it, whispering 'goodnight', before padding down the corridor and back to his room. He hid the bottle under his desk, changed, brushed his teeth and lay on his back for half an hour before he could fall asleep. He stared at the ceiling, breathing deeply.

"Guess I'm gay, then. Hmm."