chapter 3: what the fuck happend

a/n-thank you so much to my co-author who without her I couldn't go on

CHAPTER 3: What the fuck happened?

EPOV

I grabbed Bella's clothes and carried her into my room. After I dressed her, I lay her down on my bed and left, locking the door behind me.

The rest of my family was gathered around Carlisle. They had brought him in and sat him on the couch, reclad in his shirt. As I got closer, I could tell there was something off about him. He had no facial expression at all. There were no emotions on his face, and his eyes were flat and unfocused.

The rest of the family sat around him in silence. Esme wouldn't even look at him. They all looked to me as I entered the room. None of them seemed to know what to do.

I knelt down in front of Carlisle and took his hand. He looked at me, but I could tell he didn't really see me. He was lost in his mind.

"Carlisle, You need to snap out of it. We need you to tell us what happened here. CARLISLE! Listen to me! We need you to come back. Esme is wating for you to come back." I coaxed. At the mention of Esme, the fog in his eyes began to slowly fade. He blinked and shook his head. I sighed in relief as he looked back up at me with his clear topaz eyes.

"Why does everyone look so depressed? Is it Bella, it she-" Carlisle cut himself off with a gasp. "I have to get to her! I must reasure her that it wasn't her fault!" Carlisle stood, intent on finding her. We held him back.

"What do you mean, it wasn't her fault?" I asked gently.

"That's hard to swallow!" Rose sneered. "From what we saw, she was the one that instigated all of this!"

"I don't understand it myself. The shot I gave her should have made her quite drowzy, but the only reaction she seemed to have was that she was calm. It seemed to me that she was more lustful than anything else. I suggested she go lie down, and she docilely agreed." He paused, as if trying to remember. "She asked me to stay and when I turned back around, she had removed her blouse. I had fully intended to redress her and leave, but she caught my gaze. After that, nothing makes sense. She made a demand of me, and I was compelled to follow. It was as if her body had taken controll. If I had been a less observant man, I would have sworn she was at fault here."

"What do you mean by that?" I asked gently.

"Her body language said she was perfectly willing for whatever I was to give her," He paused. "but her eyes…"

"What about her eyes?" I urged.

"With every move ther body made, her eyes became more and more frantic. It was as if her body had taken controll, like she was locked inside her own mind. A spectator. No longer in controll. I felt the same way. I was constantly fighting with myself. My mind knew this was wrong, that she was unwilling and I was faithful to my wife, but my body was not listening to me. The moment she caught my eyes with that silver gaze, I was done for. Nothing I thought or wanted mattered. Those eyes were my master, a ruling entity, impossible to deny." He looked around at us with tortured eyes.

"The worst part was, she was just as unwilling as I was, yet I couldn't stop. She couldn't stop. She looked at me with those eyes that pleaded with me to stop, and I couldn't do a thing." His voice broke as he sank back down onto the couch, head in hands.

"Don't deserve forgiveness for what I have done to her, to all of you, but that is all I can think to say. Forgive me. I believe I am in need of a hunt," He said, Standing. "I will go now." Carlisle slowly walked out of the house and across the yard. His shoulders were slumped like a broken mans. I looked to esme.

"You should go after him. He needs-" I was interupted by a scream from upstairs. It was loud and high pitched enough to seriously damage our very sensitive ears. We all covered our ears and tried to block out the sound. When it ended, we all cautiously removed our hands.

"That girl has one hell of a set of pipes on her." Emmett said. Noone had the energy to slap him upside the head for the comment.

"I will handle her alone. I won't feel safe with anyone else around her until that shot wears off." I said and raced up the stairs.

I slowly entered my room, thinking it would be trashed, but I was surprised. Bella was curled under the blankets of the bed with her face pressed into a pillow. I watched her for a moment before I realized she wasn't breathing. I rushed over and ripped the pillow from her hands.

"No! Just let me die! I don't deserve to live after what I've done!" She wailed.

"You will not kill yourself in my house! There are other ways of dealing with the consequences of your actions."I said.

"But I forced him!" She sobbed. "How could I do it? I knew it would kill Esme! I told myself to stop, but I couldn't! I tried so HARD!"

"Then why didn't you stop? I want you to tell me in your words what happened." I demanded.

She sobbed a minute before starting her story. "H-he took me to his office and I wanted out. I swept all of the stuff from his desk. He grabbed me and shot me up with something. I wasn't angry anymore. I was numb. At least, until I looked up at him. After that, the only thing I could think about was the lust. He suggested I go lay down, and all I could think about was getting him to a bed, so I agreed. He set me down on the bed and was going to leave, I didn't think, I just stripped of my shirt and asked him to stay. I pinned him with my eyes and he seemed to just heel after that, but then I thought about what I was doing. I thought about Esme and how I couldn't do this to her, to them, they had done nothing to me. I tried to stop, to stop myself and to stop him, but my body wouldn't listen. No matter how I screamed and raged and pleaded on the inside, nothing I did affected what my body was doing. But I never stopped fighting. The whole time, I never stopped screaming at myself to stop. I was so thankful when you interrupted, but at the same time, it felt like my body had pushed me into a back corner of my mind, like I was just some nuicance, in the way."She stopped to wipe the tears from her face. "I don't remember anything after Alice slapped me. It's just blank. Will you tell Carlisle I'm sorry? I don't think I can face him after this." She buried her face in the pillows and sobbed. I gave in to the urge to comfort her. I sat on the bed and wrapped my arms around her.

"HEY! I don't need your fucking pity! Just because I'm fucked up in the head doesn't mean jack shit! You keep the fuck away from me, god dammit!" She yelled, throwing my arms from her and rising from the bed. "You think that just because I cried on your shoulder that I can forgive you for what you did to me! Go FUCK yourself, Sparkle Boy!" She stormed from the room.

I was shocked at her reaction. If I wasn't so scared of a repeat of what happened to Carlisle, I would keep her drugged all the time. I mentaly slapped myself. I would never take away her choice again. The way she was now was a result of my actions. I would never hurt her that way again.

I was pulled out of my thoughts by the sound of glass breaking in the kitchen.

"You little bitch!" I heard Rose yell from downstairs.

"Come and get it you marble cunt!" Bella retorted.

Here we go again…

A/N

thank u again now r+r if you want us to continue