The common room went silent when Sebastian walked in. He'd skipped all of his classes that day, but he knew he had to come to practise one last time. Ned looked up before he could stop himself. Part of Sebastian wanted to look away and pretend he didn't care, but he was too tired. He swallowed as he stared straight at Ned, really paying attention to every bit of his face. His eyes, his nose, his freckles, his creased, concerned forehead… even though they weren't supposed to be talking, no matter how hard Ned tried to stay angry with him, no matter how hard Sebastian tried not to care, they couldn't look away.

Seb wanted to look at the floor or the walls, that was the plan, but his eyes were determined to take in all they could.

"Sorry I'm late."

Even Wes could tell there was something bigger going on.

"Don't mention it. I guess we should get to work, unless there's anything else?"

"Yes, actually. I, um… I'm leaving. I'm going back to Paris." Ned's mouth fell open. He'd hoped that maybe after this awkwardness they could maybe go back to being friends at least, but that was so final. "This is my last Warbler practise."

Ned knew he was supposed to stay quiet. He was getting Sebastian out of his system, and that involved pretending he didn't exist, which would be a lot easier if he was gone, but it still felt like a slap in the face.

"You're leaving? Why?"

Because of you. Because if I have to stay here without being with you, I'll fall apart. Because even if you forgive me, I know I'll end up hurting you, and I can't handle seeing your sad face anymore because it hurts too much, because I can't lose you like I lost Grace.

"Grades. I'm not doing so well here. I need to go somewhere without… distractions."

It was painfully obvious which distractions he was talking about. Ned looked at his feet. Nick stood up.

"Well… we'll miss you."

He was telling the truth. The Sebastian who sang like he meant it and got the moves wrong when he looked at Ned and laughed at himself for it, that Sebastian was one of them. They were missing him already even though they knew that really he was still there. He'd been obscured by the way he'd been behaving, now that façade was crumbling. All that was left was a defeated, broken boy.

"Thanks. I- I wanted to say thank you. I know I haven't exactly- I've messed up a lot. With all of you." He still couldn't tear his gaze away from Ned, even though he could only see the top of his head as he looked at the ground. "I just wanted to thank you all for being so nice, even though I didn't deserve it. I still don't deserve it… but I really have enjoyed being here. I wasn't really sure how to say it, but I figured as it's Warbler practise… it sounded a lot less tacky in my head…"

David nodded at him.

"We'd love to hear it, Sebastian. Take your time."

"Oh. Right. Yeah."

He hadn't taken into account the fact that he'd actually have to do it. He knew the song perfectly and he'd performed in front of crowds ten times this size, but it was them. He couldn't do what he normally did, acting like he owned the place and strutting around eye-fucking every member of the audience. They'd made fun of him when he'd been a tool, but not when they could have really hurt him. He could feel them looking at him every time he'd grinned like a goofball at Ned and they hadn't said a word. They'd seen him softening and harbouring a stupid crush like a twelve-year-old girl and getting confused and letting himself be vulnerable, and instead of doing what anyone else would have done, what he probably would have done, instead of tearing him down for it they just kept quiet. They seemed to think it was a good thing.

He kept thinking about was how much it hurt being here, seeing Ned, knowing how much it had all affected him. It wasn't fair that he had this hold over him without even trying. He had no right to make him feel like this. He was furious that he'd let someone make him give a shit again.

It wasn't like his audition, when he could plaster on the smile and belt out the lyrics. It was pointless putting on the usual show; there was no need to try and impress people he was never going to see again, especially when it wouldn't fool them anyway.

All he could do was sing. For the first time, he actually thought about the lyrics and let himself feel them.

"I've been roaming around, always looking down at all I see…"

The first line alone was enough to knock the wind out of Ned. Sebastian knew this was his favourite song by his favourite band, he knew his brothers had taken him to see them for his thirteenth birthday, he knew someone's boot had flown off and smacked him in the head and they'd rushed him to hospital even though he was fine, because they were so terrified that he'd get hurt on their watch and that their mother would kill them for it.

"Someone like you, and all you know, and how you speak…"

Ned remembered telling him about it when they were supposed to be studying for a Chemistry test. He remembered Sebastian's sad smile whenever he mentioned his brothers, and the way he would always stare at him for a bit too long then look away, embarrassed.

"Countless lovers, undercover, on the street…"

Ned remembered everything, and he knew it wasn't a lie, but he also knew Sebastian would never be able to admit that. He shook his head and stared at the floor as he got up and ran out on the line 'You know that I could use somebody, someone like you', bumping into Sebastian on the way. He had to clap his hand over his mouth so he wouldn't make even more of an idiot of himself. Neither of them could bear to turn back to look at the other.

Ned was so angry again; angry with Sebastian for picking that song out of everything he could have chosen, for so blatantly singing it directly to him, for pretending to be some big heartbreaker and then running scared when it worked. Ned had been used. They both knew, everyone in the room knew it had turned into more than that, but that didn't matter anymore. Sebastian had slept with him and tossed him aside, and now he was leaving. No matter what had happened since that night, the heartbreak was just as bad. Worse.

Sebastian gritted his teeth and powered through the song. The school in Paris wasn't big on singing like this. It wasn't big on anything that included displays of emotion. It would be back to rules and stiff upper lips and sneaking out every night to get away from the lewd comments. Back to drinking himself blind to try and block out the gay jokes and the rudeness and the sneers and he knew he had to make the most of being here, and singing was the only way he could thank the Warblers without bursting into tears. He was close, though.

Nick went after Ned, his cheeks burning. He'd encouraged this and tried to tell Ned that Sebastian was a good guy really and it didn't matter that he still believed it because Sebastian never would. He ran out to find Ned in the corridor, leaning against the wall and sliding down to the floor, wrapping one arm around his knees and using the sleeve on the other to wipe his eyes.

"Ned, I… I-"

"I hate him."

"I'm so sorry, Ned, I-"

"I do. I hate him." His voice was cracking. There wasn't a trace of hate in his entire body. He didn't care that the others could probably hear him. He knew Nick was desperately searching for the right words to make him feel better, but there weren't any. He was just grateful that he didn't say the truth: 'You don't hate him, Ned; you love him', because they both knew. Saying it out loud would only make it worse.

Nick knelt next to him and pulled him into a hug, his sobs muffled against his chest.

"It's not fair; I gave him everything, and he… he…" his voice was difficult to make out as the sound was absorbed by Nick's blazer, but he could tell it was strangled, that it hurt him to keep talking. His breathing was spasmodic and sharp as he tried to suck air in as fast as he cried it out. "Nick… it hurts."

Nick didn't say anything. He just kept holding him. He was gradually realising that it was all he could do in these situations. He just wished he didn't have to do it at all.

The other Warblers weren't being silently polite anymore. They looked nervously at each other. They glanced at Ned's empty seat and at Sebastian, who had his eyes closed and was giving the best performance they'd seen from him. He wasn't throwing in any complicated moves or trying to outshine anyone now that it was just him and the words. Jeff bit his lip. His eyes were stinging. He knew he wasn't the only one getting choked up.

As the song came to an end, Sebastian's voice was barely audible. It was a broken whimper, not even in tune, but somehow it was still beautiful. He didn't move. He kept his eyes closed and his head bowed until he heard something. A clap. It made him flinch, and he looked up despite his blurred vision to see Jeff standing up, applauding him. One by one they joined in, Wes, David, Trent, Thad, some standing, some sitting because their legs were shaking too much, but they were all clapping. It was same serious, respectful clapping as before, no whooping or cheering, but this time it wasn't because Sebastian had been taught a lesson; it was because he'd learnt it on his own, and it was too late. Jeff walked up to him and hugged him roughly. At first he stiffened, unsure how to react, but eventually he hugged him back harder. His fingers dug into Jeff's shoulder and his breathing was quick and shaky.

"You know, you can stay for practise if you want. One more time."

Sebastian shook his head, blinking furiously even though his cheeks were already streaked with tears.

"Sorry… I can't."

He walked out into the corridor, almost tripping over Nick and Ned. They both looked up at him silently.

"Ned, I- I-"

They kept staring at him. He shook his head again, swallowing, and ran past them without looking back. Ned looked at Nick, who shrugged helplessly, before flopping his head against him again.