The day was half wonderful, half torture.
Everyone swapped seats in every class so the boys could sit together, and the teachers were so busy dealing with everyone else's excitement that they didn't move them. Every time Ned and Sebastian so much as looked at each other, someone would gasp or giggle or just shout 'Yeah!' (Jeff), so that they would blush and stare at their desk. In English they were just reading through the final scene of Measure for Measure, and while Thad and Trent made asses of themselves playing all the characters between the two of them. The professor tried to explain that the play was set in Vienna, not Texas, and could they please drop the accents and take this seriously, while Ned and Sebastian's forearms lay side by side on the table, little fingers brushing together. David elbowed Wes and nodded toward them. He grinned, but nudged him back and told him to concentrate.
Biology, Geometry, French, every lesson was the same. They sat together, frozen, feeling the eyes of every student burning holes in their blazers. They smiled to themselves, secretly proud to have caused such a fuss and to have a whole class rooting for them, but after the seclusion and privacy of the previous night it was a big contrast. They wanted to hold hands and whisper stupid in jokes and press those thoughtless, easy kisses to each other's shoulders, but they were scared of being applauded of cheered or kicked out of class. The school was anti-bullying and tolerant of all orientations, but if they started any kind of riot just by being the Warblers' favourite couple they'd never live it down. As much as they appreciated the veritable barrage of support, they just wanted to be alone again for a while so they could breathe.
Ned managed to catch Nick before practise, trying not to giggle with excitement at the smile stuck on Ned's face.
"What's up? You look tired."
"You have no idea. I only got a couple of hours' sleep last night- because we were talking. Late. You know it was late."
"Oh, trust me. I know."
"You're as bad as Jeff. Listen, I just wondered if it would be okay if we ducked out of practise today? I can barely stand." Nick's eyes widened and his mouth started to open for some innuendo to spill out, but Ned cut him off. "I'm so tired I could pass out any second. Mind out of the gutter, please. So, is that alright?"
Nick nodded.
"Sure. We'll be fine; we assumed you'd be too busy making gooey eyes at each other anyway-"
"Nick! We're not going to be like that. We-"
Nick grinned.
"We."
"Yes, Nick. We. We just need to catch up on some sleep, but we'll see you tomorrow. Okay?"
He nodded again, squeezing Ned's shoulder encouragingly. Ned took a deep breath and smiled in thanks before heading up to his room, texting Seb as he went.
From Ned: 'They'll manage without us. Get some sleep. X'
From Seb: 'But how will I manage without you? X'
From Seb: 'I'd like to take that back, please. It was gross. I'm tired. Talk to you later x'
Ned smiled at the screen, letting it fade to black. He slipped into his room, leaning back against the door as he closed it. He took a few slow, deep breaths with his eyes closed and lay on his bed. His eyelids felt heavy, but no matter how long he kept them closed, he couldn't get to sleep. His stomach was still fluttering and he was still smiling and he kept playing everything back in his mind: Sebastian blushing and laughing and brushing his hands over Ned's waist and smiling, more than last week, even more than when they were just friends, joining in with everyone's jokes without trying to pretend he wasn't enjoying himself. Ned remembered him shuffling his feet when he went to speak to the headmistress about staying and his sigh of relief when she said she'd smooth things over with his father, and his voice shaking slightly when he called the airline to ask about getting his luggage back. He hesitated before dropping his father's name, but grinned when the surly man on the phone panicked and said he'd do everything he could. Every second of the day was flashing through Ned's mind, stopping him from sleeping. As he screwed his eyes closed a little tighter, he heard a gentle, almost inaudible knock at the door.
"Yeah?"
Sebastian pushed the door open and poked his head in.
"Can't sleep either?"
Ned shook his head.
"It's too quiet."
He jerked his head, signalling for Sebastian to join him. He was in a loose, beige t-shirt and grey sweatpants, and he looked vulnerable and sleepy. He flopped onto the bed, wrapping himself around his boyfriend (for once the word wasn't setting off alarm bells in his head) and nuzzling against his neck. He found out he liked being the big spoon. It wasn't because it gave him any kind of dominance, but because it let him smell Ned's hair, feel his warm back against his chest, and give in to the protective urge he always had around him. That night in Scandals he'd been so scared that something terrible would happen to him, and now he could hold him, feel Ned's arms close over his, and make sure nothing would hurt him. He knew Ned had had to look after him so many times, constantly being right and knowing him so well and calling him out for being an idiot, but this wasn't about confusion or complicated emotions he had just come to terms with. It was primal and physical and so wonderfully simple.
The room didn't get any less quiet with him in it, but Ned found his presence, his desire to sleep next to him, peaceful. Their breathing synchronised, they were asleep in seconds.
It was dark when Ned woke up smiling.
A tiny part of him had worried that there would be no arms around him, no pulse thudding softly against his back, no nose tickling his ear, but it was all there. Instead of a cold space next to him in his bed, there was a boy wrapped around him, showing no signs of letting go. Sebastian had stayed.
The arms crossed over his stomach squeezed gently.
"Morning," Sebastian muttered, his eyes still closed, smiling against Ned's skin.
Ned glanced at the faint light of his alarm clock.
"It's ten p.m."
"Close enough."
Ned turned his head to look at him and his body followed automatically, lining up with Sebastian's, whose hand slid down to the small of his back. He nestled into his hold, scooting his body as close as possible without breaking eye contact. Sebastian smiled and kissed his forehead. He smiled back, before becoming suddenly coy, looking down at his chest and tentatively stroking the fabric of his shirt. Sebastian frowned and tilted his head to look at Ned.
"What's up?"
Ned mumbled a quiet 'nothing', trying to hide his face as he started to blush.
"Hey," Sebastian whispered, reaching for Ned's chin to lift his head up, "I know you're normally the one who understands everything, but I'm not a complete idiot. What's wrong?"
"It's stupid."
"Tell me."
"Well, that's it. It's like this whole time I've been, I dunno, telling you what to do. I don't want it to be like that. It's like you've done all this for me, like you've changed for me, and what have I done for you?"
Sebastian almost laughed.
"Right. You just keep taking. God, Ned, talk about selfish."
Ned shoved him with his whole body, rolling against him, nearly sending them both toppling from the small bed. Sebastian couldn't hold his laughter in anymore, and Ned started to join in before abruptly stopping himself. Sebastian took a deep breath and put on his best serious face, but he was still smiling a little.
"I'm serious. I don't want you to become…" he nodded towards Seb's hand on his waist, "this, just because you think it's what I want."
Sebastian's smile faded slightly.
"Well… Isn't it? You do want this, don't you?"
He didn't even try to hide the note of panic in his voice. Ned finally looked into his eyes properly and he relaxed again.
"Of course I do, I didn't mean- I just want to do this because you want to. I don't want to be the guy that, like, broke you or forced you to be something you weren't-"
Sebastian made Ned stop talking the only way he knew would work, pressing their lips together. They were suddenly alone in darkness and silence, just two boys and a kiss.
"Ned," he mumbled when he eventually made himself pull back, his voice a little darker as he took a deep breath to clear the fog from his head, the fog he never thought someone like Ned could create. "You've never forced anything. That's what I love about you. All you've done is be honest, and you've made me strong enough to do the same. I don't have to do anything because I'm angry or because I've got something to prove or- I'm here because I want to be. Because I couldn't sleep without you today, no matter how exhausted I was."
Ned was smiling sheepishly at him.
"Did you say love?"
Sebastian paused and nodded.
"You didn't break me, Ned. You fixed me. You saved me. Whatever you did, I want you to keep doing it, and I want to do the same for you."
"But you've already done so much, and I just need you to know that I know, that I appreciate it and I know it's not easy, but I-"
Sebastian kissed him, unable to stop himself, and they both suddenly had a lot more energy.
"I know," he kissed him again, "I know you do," and again, "and it is easy;" again, "everything's easy with you." He kissed him more slowly, sucking in a breath through his nose and cupping Ned's cheek. He only dragged his lips away to whisper "I mean it Ned; I do love you."
Ned nodded, equally breathless.
"I love you too. Did I say that?"
Sebastian smiled and nodded, answering with his lips still touching Ned's.
"I believe you yelled it at me outside a gay bar."
"Right," another kiss, "good. That counts. Love you."
Sebastian's response was reduced to a groan which Ned swallowed eagerly, slipping his thumb under the waistband of Sebastian's pants to stroke at his hipbone. He could feel his dick twitch in spite of the thick fabric covering it, and he noticed his own erection as it strained in his trousers without his permission.
Sebastian grinned mischievously, but gave Ned a concerned glance, as if he was asking for permission, making sure he was okay, that he wanted this too, and he nodded as they kept kissing, giving him the green light.
Ned's shirt was already riding up and Sebastian stroked over his stomach with the backs of his fingers. It was soft and pliant under his touch, fluttering when he skimmed lightly over his abdomen and kissed his neck. Ned shivered and a moan escaped his lips, a whisper of air brushing Sebastian's earlobe. The sound and the sensation was enough to make Sebastian's hips jerk forward, pushing their crotches together until they were both grinding aimlessly, blind and lost in friction. Ned laid a palm over Sebastian's chest and swallowed, shaking his head slightly. Sebastian tried hopelessly to catch his breath.
"Do you wanna stop-"
Ned shook his head more firmly.
"No, God no, I just, we should, um-"
Sebastian took the hint. As tempting as it was just to keep rutting clumsily against each other, they'd gone through too much to let this moment go so quickly.
Ned fumbled with the buttons on his shirt hastily while Sebastian slipped his own off in one smooth movement. He shifted on the bed, sitting up and kneeling between Ned's legs. He slid his hands under him, resuming their position on the small of his back and pulling him up so he was almost upright, before lifting him so he could lean back on the headboard. He took Ned's trembling hands in his own, calming them, and kissed him while unbuttoning his shirt for him. He laid soft kisses across Ned's chest as more skin was revealed and Ned's fingers buried themselves in Sebastian's hair.
Within seconds, Ned was shrugging his shirt off, letting it drift to the floor, while Sebastian started to unbuckle his belt, still kissing at the soft swell of his stomach and down into the curve between his hips. Ned tightened his lips to hold in a whimper as he felt the material of his underwear move over his already sensitive skin, making Sebastian chuckle against his hip. As the sound sent vibrations cascading over him, he convulsed against Sebastian and his grip tightened in his hair.
Sebastian gave up on being careful, and wrenched the layers away, freeing Ned's cock. As the air hit him, harsh and cold, Ned gasped loudly so Sebastian had to kneel up and kiss him to keep him quiet. Dalton was tolerant, but noisy dorm sex wasn't exactly encouraged. They both smiled into the kiss, and Ned couldn't have planned it better. Sebastian fumbled with his sweatpants, and Ned eased them over his ass, taking advantage of the opportunity to knead into the smooth expanse of flesh, pulling Sebastian closer and thrusting their now bare erections together again. Keeping quiet became impossible and they both groaned and swore under their breath. Their chests slipped as they kissed and rutted, throwing their timing off, and just as Sebastian started to stroke Ned's cock and he jerked forwards, his pants tangled around his thighs and he lost his balance.
"Oh, Christ; hang on-"
He shifted down on the bed, determined not to leave it, and rolled around on his back as he struggled to pull his pants off completely. When he managed to sit up again, he found that Ned had done the same and was kneeling up, smirking at him.
"Don't you dare laugh at me-"
Ned proved that he had no intention of laughing by putting both hands on Sebastian's face and kissing him slowly, their smiles dropping and their erections just touching. They held each other for a moment, their breathing hard and erratic, making sure their bodies were firmly pressed together, staying as close as possible. Sebastian stroked down Ned's back, from his shoulder blades to his ass, across his hip and taking a gentle hold of his cock. Ned's head fell against Sebastian's shoulder and he kissed his collar bone clumsily, unable to focus and Sebastian stroked him, keeping one hand on his back so he wouldn't collapse. He groaned as Ned sucked into the hollow by his neck and he started to grind involuntarily against Ned's hip. His hand was already slick with precome, both his and Ned's, and he allowed his hand to drift back toward Ned's ass, rolling his hand over a cheek before letting his fingers trail between them. He slowly inched towards his entrance, eliciting a moan and a shudder when he finally circled the muscle with his fingertip.
Ned's entire body became heavy as Sebastian's finger lingered over his hole and if he'd had any control over his body he'd have pushed down on it for some relief. Sebastian finally lay him on the bed, kissing him sweetly across his jaw and behind his ear and inserting a finger, slowly and deliberately, holding an arm over Ned's stomach to stop him from grinding down onto it.
He drew his head back for a moment to take in the boy underneath him and he realised why he'd found himself insisting on Ned topping before. He hadn't trusted himself. He'd known he was going to hurt him later, and part of him hadn't wanted to be active. He'd wanted just to let it happen. Even when they were together, even when Ned was looking so trusting and worried about him, he was already trying to distance himself, but this time he felt so much more at ease. He knew Ned had never done this before, and now he felt ready to be the one to guide him through it. As Ned leaned up to capture his mouth again, already missing that contact, Sebastian found that for the first time he desperately wanted to make it good for Ned. With the countless other boys and men his only concern had been his own climax. He got what he wanted and it was over, but now he had to make sure, no matter what, that Ned was happy and safe and enjoying it as much as he was.
He let Ned kiss him, and kissed him back, gently inserting another finger. Ned's hips jerked against his arm, but he held him firmly, giving him another subtle questioning look. The boy nodded again and kissed him, unable to keep his eyes open, wrapping his hands around Seb's neck. Sebastian kept pushing his fingers in and out of him, loosening his hold over his torso to let him squirm beneath him. He immediately started fucking down onto his hand, panting and whispering that he wanted more, needed more, and Sebastian added a third finger and lowered his kisses down Ned's chest. He finally came to his cock, red and hard and begging for relief. He used the very tip of his tongue to lick gradually up the shaft, making Ned cry out and grab onto the pillow behind him just so he wouldn't delve his fingers into Sebastian's hair and push him down.
Sebastian eagerly started to suck on the head, another thing he was less than practised in, as he continued to stretch Ned open with his fingers. It was too much and Ned writhed helplessly on the mattress, sweat beading on his forehead and trickling down his temples, and as his knuckles whitened from his firm grasp of the pillow, Sebastian moved back up to his face. He kissed him, letting Ned taste himself on his tongue, and used his free hand to stroke Ned's arm until he reached his hand. He twisted their fingers together and put both of their hands on his own cheek. He pulled his hand away and gave Ned's a gentle nudge towards his hair.
"I don't mind," he whispered in his ear, kissing him again to let Ned get a firm grip then returning his attention to his crotch. He took more into his mouth each time he sank over him, carefully swallowing around him. Ned's hips, now free to move, thrust roughly upwards whilst his hands pushed on the back of Sebastian's head, and he managed to suppress his gag reflex for a couple of seconds. As the muscles at the back of Seb's throat squeezed around Ned's cock, and his own muscles clenched around Sebastian's fingers, he let out a moan even louder than before, making Sebastian hum with satisfaction. The vibration and the feeling of Seb smiling into his skin almost sent Ned over the edge, so he pulled the head of auburn hair up so he could catch his breath.
"Stop- I don't- not like-"
"Okay," Seb mumbled, "okay, I've got you, it's fine. We can just- for a second-"
They both wheezed out a laugh as they tried to slow things down, kissing again more gently, and Ned reached into the drawer of his nightstand for a condom. He decided not to mention the fact that his mother had sent them 'just in case'.
"But I don't have any-"
"It's okay; I mean, I'll go slowly and, uh, we're both kind of-" he gestured to his hand, covered in a fair amount of pre-come, "but if you want me go get some-"
Ned shook his head.
"I don't want you to go."
Sebastian kissed him.
"We can stop whenever you want, okay? Tell me if it hurts."
He nodded and ripped the foil packet open, his hands trembling as he fumbled with the condom. Sebastian started to stroke himself slowly, rubbing the drops forming around the head down the shaft and covering Ned's hands with his own as he rolled it on. He kissed him again, whispering 'it's okay,' between soft pecks. He let Ned get settled with his back on the pillows and leaned over him, kissing him over and over, telling him how much he wanted him, how much he wanted to make him happy, how crazy he was about him. All Ned could do was nod and whimper as Sebastian started jerking him off again as he lined up the head of his cock with Ned's entrance.
"Slowly, yeah?"
Sebastian nodded.
"I promise. Whatever you want, just tell me."
"Okay. Now."
Sebastian used his free hand to steady himself on the mattress, kissing Ned almost painfully softly as he started to push inside him. Ned's arms found their place around Sebastian's neck again, and his legs mirrored the movement around his waist. Seb became an anchor, a weight on top of him that wasn't so much pushing him down as it was grounding him, stopping him from floating away completely, the only thing connecting his mind with reality. It hurt, but in the best way, and every time Sebastian caught him biting his lip he whispered 'I've got you' and kissed his cheek or his forehead or the side of his nose. Ned's eyes were screwed up, expecting some burst of pain, some sudden shocking thrust that didn't happen. Sebastian was beyond careful not to hurt him, and by the time he'd buried himself inside Ned he was panting again from the strain. Everything in his body was screaming at him to move, but he held back until Ned was ready. He kept still, letting Ned get used to the stretch, before he heard him croak a quiet 'okay; move'.
He gave up on propping himself up, deciding to wrap both arms around Ned instead, and he felt so real, so there, that it made Ned feel safer. He moved slowly, only pulling out a little before rolling his hips back in, and the movement became gradually easier. Ned's body started to relax, and Sebastian reached up to stroke his hair. He nudged it out of his eyes with his nose, catching his eye to make sure he was okay, and he nodded whispered 'oh God,' and 'you feel so good', trying to reassure Ned that he was doing everything right.
He pulled back, bringing Ned with him, until they were upright, Sebastian on his knees with Ned straddling him, legs still clamped firmly around his waist. He shifted forward so he could hold onto the headboard and started to swivel his hips ever so slightly, letting Ned enjoy the friction without risk of pushing too hard or getting carried away and thrusting more than he meant to. His cock was aching for more, but he kept a steady rhythm and let Ned move as much as he wanted. Even if he thought he was going to explode, he was determined to do this properly.
He felt Ned's hips grind down onto him with the same determination. Apparently they were equally desperate to make this as good as possible.
"Ned, you know you don't have to-"
Ned's only response was a groan; and Sebastian breathed out a 'fuck' as Ned kissed his neck and moved more and more eagerly. Ned let a single laugh escape his lips, because Sebastian had finally stopped being scared of hurting him. It still wasn't pain free, but as their hips found a matching, rolling rhythm, it felt good enough for him not to care. He fucked himself down onto Sebastian just as he had with his fingers, the feeling of stretching and fullness overwhelming him, and he dropped one hand down from his neck to start stroking himself.
The sight of Ned so lost, his eyes dark and his mouth hanging open, was almost too much for Sebastian and he thrust upwards mindlessly. Ned moaned 'yes' and worked himself faster, riding Seb and jerking off in time. Seb took his reaction as a signal that he was free to go on, knowing Ned would tell him if he wanted to stop, and tightened his grip around his waist so he could push into him harder, faster, desperately. All Ned could do was nod with approval as everywhere became more sensitive, his whole body on fire, something in his chest glowing as a spasm flowed through him.
He started to tense up, and as he tightened around Sebastian they both started to groan and whisper half sentences to each other. Their rhythm was gone but they didn't care as they clung to each other, breathing harsh and kissing passionately. Ned froze, coiled around Sebastian, as he came so much harder than he had before, dizzy and happy and so, so safe, and Sebastian followed quickly after, clawing gently at Ned's back. They kept trying to whisper to each other, tried to find the perfect words, but all they could do was kiss messily in a light-headed haze. Their lips had barely locked together when they finally started breathing again, both collapsing in a tangled heap of limbs.
Ned ran a hand over his face, almost embarrassed to have been that caught up in the moment, so turned on that he'd ridden Seb shamelessly. He wanted to laugh at himself, at both of them, at the fact that twenty four hours ago they weren't even speaking. Sebastian's arm looped around his shoulders, pulling him close and kissing his head. Ned linked their fingers and rested their hands on his stomach. Sebastian ran his thumb over the skin as it rose and fell rapidly, baffled that something so simple could make him so happy.
Ned wasn't exactly 'built', but the way he'd been so eager, wanted him so badly, it was hot; it was gorgeous. The look of unabashed need in his eyes was one of the sexiest things he'd ever seen, and already Ned looked so completely innocent and adorable and pure again. He was used to smirks and sneers and the rushed zipping up of jeans; he'd come to expect some feeling of shame after sex, but here he was, lying next to his best friend, utterly blissful. He reached up and kissed Ned's head again and again, making him giggle, before cupping his cheek with his hand and looking into his eyes.
"Ned, I just- you're- you-"
Ned kissed him, knowing he was in no fit state to say anything as profound as he wanted.
"I'm really glad you didn't go to Paris."
He smiled an unapologetically cheesy smile.
"I'm glad you stopped me."