Their palms slid against each other as Sebastian's hand got more and more clammy, but that only made Ned's fingers grip onto his more firmly. They were in Sebastian's car, but Ned had insisted on driving. He didn't have to insist; Sebastian knew he was in no fit state to operate heavy machinery. They both stared at the grand, red brick house in front of them. There were no cars in front of it, but a light was on upstairs. She was home alone. Sebastian's fingers curled around the box on his lap in annoyance that they would leave her on her own, that they probably did every day, even though she was only ten, but he knew if they'd been there he'd be screwed.
"I can't."
"Yes you can. Just go."
"I can't just-"
"Yes you can."
"But what if they-"
"They're not. Go."
"Are you making fun of me?"
"No. Go."
"You're finding it a tiny bit funny though, right?"
Ned paused. He couldn't help smiling. Even he hadn't seen this side of Sebastian before. His jaw was trembling and he couldn't keep still, fingers tugging at his sleeves.
"It's cute."
"It's gross. It's pathetic."
"It means you care. Caring is good, remember?"
Sebastian tore his gaze away from the building and smiled at Ned sheepishly.
"Mmm. Sometimes. Sometimes it's awful." He glanced down at the box, stroking the lid with his thumb. He took a couple of deep breaths. "I don't want to-"
"You don't want to wait another three years; I agree. Come on."
"You don't have to-"
"Yes I do. Out."
Ned had managed to distract him the whole way there. They'd listened to music, thought about which songs the Warblers could do for Regionals, but as they got closer he got more nervous. He stared at the house again.
"It's weird doing this in front of someone. I usually panic in private."
"And isn't it easier having someone to absorb some of it?"
"No. It's embarrassing. I hate it. I hate you. I hate your stupid face. Now can we break up and get out of here?"
"She'll remember you."
There was a heavy pause, full of anxiety.
"What if she doesn't? Three years, Ned. She hasn't seen me for three years."
"She's missed you for three years. Trust me, Sebastian; you're not easy to forget." Sebastian huffed out a breath through his nose. Of course Ned had to keep being adorable, even now. "Okay, I'm going in. If you don't come with me, it's going to look weird."
Ned opened the door and hopped out, landing on the ground with a bounce. He grinned at Sebastian before strolling toward the house as if he hadn't a care in the world. If he hadn't been so small and innocent-looking, he would've looked like a psychopath. Sebastian scrambled out of his seat, almost dropping the shoebox and its contents, running after Ned and grabbing his hand. He spun around to face him, his face transformed from maniacal grin to steadfast smile. He squeezed Seb's hand.
"I-"
Ned reached up to kiss his cheek. When he pulled away, Sebastian was shaking his head. Ned nodded and pulled him up the path. His fingertips turned white as he gripped onto the box. They finally reached the door and Ned let go of his hand, nodding at the doorbell. Sebastian's jaw tightened when he saw it. He took a deep breath and pressed it.
Silence.
"See? She's not here. Forget it-"
A figure moved behind the frosted glass. They heard feet shuffling. Ned's eyes widened and he glared at Sebastian, mouthing 'is that her?' but Sebastian didn't answer. He'd frozen. His free hand pressed against the door. The girl on the other side moved closer. Ned watched silently as Sebastian swallowed hard and knelt down to open the letterbox. He pushed the flap up and spoke into the space.
"Grace? Gracie, it's me. It's Bash. Can you let me in?"
She crept closer and knelt at the door. Her eyes were level with the letterbox. Sebastian lowered his head until their eyes met. They stayed there for a few seconds, their eyes watering, scared to blink, their breathing quickening. When she finally spoke, her voice was small, smaller than he'd ever heard it before. She sounded hurt.
"I'm not allowed. Mom said not to let strangers in."
Sebastian gasped, the wind knocked out of him. He felt Ned's hand on his shoulder, offering all the support he could. He shook his head in disbelief. He knew this could happen, but he never thought it actually would. He had no idea it would hurt so much.
"Strangers? Gracie, no, it's me, it's Sebastian, your brother. I've got something to show you. It's really important. I've been trying to- Mom's just- please-"
Even through the tiny gap in the door, he could see her frowning. Her eyes were glistening. She shook her head. His face fell, his forehead landing against the door with a thud. Ned crouched next to him.
"Grace?" Her eyes narrowed again. "My name's Ned. Sebastian's told me all about you. He really misses you."
"Ned, you don't have to-"
Grace piped up, her voice a little lighter.
"He does?"
Sebastian looked up again, almost breathless.
"Yes, Grace, of course I do. You're my baby sister; I missed you every day. Let me show you. Anyway," he glanced to the boy at his side with a grin, "Ned's dying to meet you. Please?"
She frowned again, breathing slowly and deliberately. She stood up and Sebastian shivered as he heard the click of the door being unlocked. It opened to reveal Grace, much taller than Sebastian remembered, her hair a mess. Sebastian smiled inwardly, pleased that she still didn't let their mother do it for her. The sleeve of her school sweater was unravelling and her shoes were scuffed. The three of them stood in silence for a moment until Ned gave Sebastian a nudge. His arms jerked forward, shoving the box towards her. She frowned.
"What is it?"
"Open it."
She pressed her lips together, taking the tatty box with trembling hands. She pulled out one of the envelopes, addressed to her. There were over a hundred. She dropped the box to the floor, tearing the letter open. Her head was spinning too much to read it properly, but the end was clear: 'I miss you so much, Gracie. Love, Sebastian.'
Her hands shook as she stared at the letter and back up to him.
"Every week. Every single one says I miss you. I'm so sorry they didn't make it to you, but I never stopped writing. I never stopped missing you, and I never stopped being your big brother."
Her grip tightened on the letter in her hands, crumpling it, and without a word she turned on her heel and ran upstairs. Sebastian and Ned glanced at each other nervously. Ned wanted to say something to comfort him and reassure him, but he wasn't entirely sure what was going on. Sebastian shook his head in disbelief. He thought she'd understand. He felt like he was going to pass out, until Grace reappeared, leaping down the stairs two at a time. He was about to tell her to slow down before she hurt herself, but he noticed a box in her hand. It was the same size as his, and she thrust it into his arms before he could ask what it was. She nodded at him excitedly and he opened it.
It was full of more letters. They showed her handwriting getting gradually tidier, envelopes in different hues to reflect the changes in her favourite colours, some with stickers and smiley faces and hearts, some with nothing but his address at the Parisian school or Dalton.
Sebastian didn't need to open any of them.
"I missed you too, Bash."
He dropped her box on top of his and scooped her into his arms, not noticing how much heavier she was or how different her body felt wrapped around him as she threw her legs around his waist. He just kissed her cheek and her hair, his eyes squeezed shut as he held onto her for all he was worth. He whispered that he was sorry and she whispered that it was okay. Over Sebastian's shoulder, Grace caught sight of Ned beaming. He gave a nervous wave.
"Hello."
"Oh!" Sebastian put Grace down, wiping his eyes with the heel of his hand, using the other to hold onto hers. "Grace, this is Ned."
"I know. He said. Is he your boyfriend?"
Sebastian's mouth fell open. He glanced at Ned, who shrugged with a mischievous smile. He wasn't going to say it for him. Sebastian took a deep breath.
"Yes. Ned is my boyfriend." Ned kept smiling at him. "Actually, it was Ned's idea to come here today. I've told him so much about my little sister; he wanted to see what all the fuss was about."
Grace looked at Ned, eyes wide, smiling openly.
"Really?"
"Well, he wanted to come anyway; he missed you so much-"
Before he could finish arguing, Grace had charged at him, forcing the breath out of his lungs as she hugged him. He stroked her hair as her face was buried in his chest, looking at Sebastian, who smiled at him. He looked different, as if a weight had been lifted, as if his smile had been missing something this whole time. He'd looked happy before, ecstatic even, but now he seemed free. A tear ran down his cheek and he didn't bother to wipe it away. He'd only just started to show himself around Ned, but he'd done it for Grace for as long as he could remember. These were the only two people in the world he didn't have to or want to pretend in front of.
"I think she likes me."
Sebastian grinned.
"I think I can see why."
Sebastian started to visit his sister as often as he could. Sometimes Ned came with him; sometimes he gave them time to themselves. They would make hot chocolate and help with her homework and build forts, and even though Grace insisted she was too old, they convinced her otherwise. Sebastian would read to her, still remembering how to do the different voices, and Ned and Grace would gang up on him in tickle fights until he couldn't breathe. Once, maybe twice a month, when he knew his parents would be working late, he drove back to the house that wasn't his home, that had never been his home in the first place, and pretended it was him and his sister, just like it used to be. He convinced himself that everything had fallen into place; he had Ned and Grace and he was happy. But every time, at eight o'clock, he had to leave. He read to Grace and tucked her in and when she woke up he'd be gone. He would drive away, his eyes stinging, with no idea how long he'd have to wait to see her again.
It was Spring. Sebastian had been secretly babysitting for almost four months, and he was about to leave Dalton one Tuesday evening when Ned stopped him by the main entrance.
"Say hi to Grace for me."
Sebastian grinned.
"I always do. Do you want to come?"
Ned took a deep breath. He did want to go with him, he wanted to go everywhere with him, but as much as he loved Grace, and as sweet as it was to see them together, he wasn't sure if he could handle it. He knew he'd have to see Seb break when the time came to say goodbye and leave her alone in that big house. He decided he'd rather go with him than make him do it alone. The least he could do was hold his hand on the way back. He stuck on a smile and nodded.
Sebastian frowned for a second, knowing a fake smile when he saw it, but they only had a few hours. He gave Ned's hand a squeeze and kissed his forehead before opening the car door for him.
They switched between radio stations for ten minutes, pretending there was no tension between them, before Ned had to say something.
"How long are you going to keep doing this?"
Sebastian glanced at his fingers as they tapped on the steering wheel.
"Until we get there. I like this song."
"Really? I thought you hated- that's not what I meant. Bash, are you really going to keep this up with Grace?"
Sebastian raised his eyebrows and glanced at Ned.
"Did you just call me Bash?"
"I'm not being cute. Sebastian is a long name. Don't change the subject. You can't carry on like this."
"I'm happy. School's good, Grace is awesome, you're- sorry, but you're definitely pretty cute. It's cool."
"Seb."
"Bash is fine."
"I know you hate leaving her."
Sebastian's lips tightened. He swallowed.
"I don't have a choice. Ugh, why is this guy going so slowly? We're going to be late."
"I'm sure she'll forgive you. Anyway, we're doing the limit." He put a hand on Sebastian's thigh. "I'm worried about you. Every time you have to go, it upsets you. It's killing you."
"It's worth it."
"But what about Grace?"
Sebastian frowned. He hadn't thought about it hurting her.
"What about her? Has she said anything?"
"Of course not; she's learnt that from you. I just don't know if you can both keep putting yourself through this."
"What can I do? I won't stop seeing her, Ned. I can't-"
Ned's hand slid up to his back.
"No, no, I wasn't saying that- I just- you shouldn't hide it. Tell them."
Sebastian went quiet. He gripped harder onto the steering wheel. He shook his head.
"It's been months. They must know something's up; they can't be that oblivious-"
"They are. Trust me."
Six months ago, Ned would have frozen at that tone. It was snappy and harsh. Now he knew it just meant Sebastian was scared.
"I do trust you. So does Grace. She deserves more than these secret evenings together."
"I don't know what they'll do. They made me leave the country before. What if they send her away?"
"Why would they? Isn't she the one they want to keep as close as possible?"
"That's how they think. It's not about her. They'd rather pretend they were in control than have a happy kid. If they find out about this, it'll be like they've lost. They don't want to look bad."
"But it sounds like you're just playing along. Is this you winning their little game? As far as they know, you're at Dalton, living some sordid life away from them. Secret meetings with Grace, secret boyfriend, secret everything. That's what they want. And it's making you miserable. I think it sucks, and you're just letting it happen. That's not you. You should be fighting this."
Sebastian pulled over abruptly, throwing both of them forward against their seatbelts and provoking a barrage of horns and abuse from other drivers.
"I can't fight them. Both of them against me, I've tried it before, and I always lost. I'm not strong enough."
"You don't have to do it alone this time."
Ned stretched in his seat, rubbing his shoulder where the fabric had dug into his skin.
"Sorry," Sebastian gingerly stroked Ned's collarbone where it was slightly pink, "I didn't mean to-"
"I know. I'm fine. Look, you've got me and Grace backing you up. We've got to try. You can't carry on like this. I don't want to see you in tears once a month."
Sebastian laughed sadly.
"I knew you'd seen-"
Ned squeezed his hand.
"I see everything. Just promise me you'll think about it?"
Sebastian wet his lips, forcing himself to look into Ned's eyes. He didn't know when he'd got so strong, but he liked it. He liked having him on his side.
Sebastian choked down a coffee to get him through the drive back.
"You know I don't mind doing it if you're too tired."
"I like driving at night."
"I don't like crashing."
"You say that every time, and I wouldn't do it if I wasn't up to it. I wouldn't put you in danger."
"You say that every time."
"I mean it every time."
"Remind me, have we been dating for four months or married for forty years?"
"We're gross."
Grace shouted from upstairs.
"I'm ready!"
They pulled themselves up from the sofa and jogged up the stairs to Grace's room where she was sitting upright in bed, arms folded. Sebastian frowned as they sat on either side of her.
"What's up? You don't want us to read to you?"
She shook her head. Ned tilted his head.
"Would it be better if it was just Bash?"
She shook it again.
"Gracie, don't you want to find out what happens to Toad?"
"No. I hate him."
"But he's funny-"
"No, he isn't. He's noisy and rude and stupid and he gets everyone in trouble. There's a boy in my class like him. He does one thing right and the teachers act like it's amazing, but I'm always good and they don't even notice."
Ned grinned at Sebastian.
"I know the type. Thinks he's better than everyone. I prefer Mole."
Sebastian grinned back.
"Nah. Mole's a wimp. I like the Rat. He's fun. He goes on adventures."
Ned's smile became firmer, his eyes locking with Seb's until he shifted on the bed.
"Mole takes more risks than people realise. I think he's brave."
Grace scowled at her lap, refusing to look at them.
"Stop it. They're all stupid. I don't want you to read anything to me. Either of you."
Sebastian's mouth fell open. They'd had a normal evening, food, homework, a movie; he didn't know what had changed. Ned brought his legs up to cross them on the bed, trying to maintain a calm atmosphere. He ducked down to catch Grace's eye.
"Why? Is something wrong?"
She finally looked up at him and her eyes were glistening with tears.
"I don't want you to read to me. You always read to me, then you say goodnight, then you leave. Then I have to wait a whole week before I can see you again. I don't want a story. I want you to stay."
Sebastian took her hand and bit back a sob.
"I want to stay too, you know that, but I can't. You know Mom won't let me."
"I thought you didn't care what Mom wanted."
"I care about you. I don't want you to get in trouble."
"It doesn't matter. You got in trouble and now you've got Ned. Isn't it worth a little bit of trouble?"
He bit his lip, his head shaking slightly.
"I can't lose you again-"
"You won't. I know you'll come back no matter what they do. Even if Mom lies again, I won't believe her. Can't you just try?"
Sebastian looked at Ned. His expression was calm, not sad or smiling, his eyebrows raised expectantly. Seb gave the slightest shrug. He was stuck. Ned put a hand on the small of his back and turned to Grace.
"It's late. You should probably go to sleep."
"I don't want to; you'll leave."
They all heard the crunch of gravel and saw headlights shine through the curtains as a car pulled into the driveway. The humming engine came to a halt. Sebastian froze in panic.
"They're early. They're never early. We have to go."
He stood up to leave but Grace grabbed his hand and yanked him back down, pulling him into a hug.
"No, you don't. Please don't, I won't let you, I'll explain to them that you're just looking after me while they're out-"
"No, Gracie, it's not that simple-"
They could hear loud voices travelling up the stairs.
"I'm telling you that's his car. I paid for it; I know what it looks like. He's here. Grace!"
Two pairs of feet came stamping upstairs. Sebastian couldn't help thinking it was actually sweet that they carpooled. They were shitty parents, but they probably belonged together. He could've punched himself. That was what he got for being someone's boyfriend; even his parents seemed cute.
Sebastian jumped up and ran to the door. Grace grabbed onto Ned's waist, pulling him close until her face was buried in his sweater. She didn't want to hear them yelling. She'd heard it too many times before. Ned shushed her and stroked her hair, his body tensing up as he waited for some kind of explosion to erupt from the landing.
"What the hell are you doing here?" was all they heard before Sebastian closed the door behind him.
"I'm here for Grace. I just wanted to see her."
His father's expression was impenetrable.
"Just like you wanted to go back to Paris? Then back to Dalton? We've put up with enough of this, Sebastian-"
"Mark, please, keep your voice down-"
"Why should I? She must know what he's like by now. He's a flake. I don't want him in my house."
"What about what we've put up with? You lied to her face, Mom. She showed me the letters you said I sent back. It's over. We both know what you've been doing."
"I did it for her own good. That doesn't give you the right-"
"To what? The right to babysit? So what if I come and look after her sometimes; it's more than either of you do."
"Sometimes? You've done it before?"
"A few times. Since November. Maybe if you'd been here, you'd have known."
Helen took a step towards him, her jaw trembling with rage.
"How dare you. How dare you come into my house, do who knows what with my daughter-"
"Right, God forbid someone play with her. Do you know what she's reading, Mother? Do you know what her favourite meal is? Have you ever spent an afternoon making pancakes with her, or watching a movie? If she means so much to you, why aren't you both here?"
Mark put a hand on his wife's waist defensively.
"Don't you talk to your mother like that-"
Sebastian shook his head, the epitome of calm.
"Nope. You don't get to play the parent cards anymore. You pay for my school, and you have no idea how grateful I am to be there, but that's where it ends. All we're doing is looking after her, and it's making all of us happy. And we're not going to stop."
His father frowned.
"We? Who else have you got in there?"
"Are you listening to me? I'm back in her life now and I'm not letting go. She won't stop being the perfect daughter you can parade in front of your friends. She'll still get good grades and eat her vegetables and brush her teeth; she'll still look the part, but I'll be here. I'll stay out of your way. I don't want anything else from you. You can keep pretending I don't exist as far as I'm concerned. You can keep hating me. I'm not crazy about either of you. But I'm not staying away from her."
There was a creak behind him as Grace emerged, closely followed by Ned who was holding her hand. He was smiling proudly at Sebastian. He smiled back at him and down at Grace. Her cheeks were wet, but she was happy.
Their parents were not smiling.
"Who the fuck is that?"
"Mom-"
"Get your hands off my daughter."
Ned's instinct was to do as he was told, but Grace had a firm grip. He put his free hand on her shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze. Grace looked defiantly up at her mother.
"This is Ned. He's Sebastian's friend from school. He comes over to look after me."
Sebastian steeled himself. He was so used to being honest with everyone about Ned now, and even though his mother and father wouldn't be as happy for him as everyone else, he wasn't going to lie about Ned. Ned was the one who'd reminded him how to be honest; the least he could do was tell his parents about him with pride.
"He's my boyfriend, Mom. He likes to come and see Grace with me. He makes me happy."
Her eyes narrowed as she took in the small but determined-looking boy holding her daughter's hand. She smirked, and it was clear where Seb had got it from.
"I hope you understand what you're getting into. You don't know where this one's been."
Ned wanted to hit her, but he settled for what he thought was a cool, detached stare. How could anyone talk like that about their own child?
"He knows everything. He knows more than I do. Grace loves him." He glanced back at Ned, who offered nothing but support just with his smile. He wasn't encouraging him to tell them any more than he wanted and it made him want to tell them everything. "I love him."
Mark scowled at them both in turn, ignoring Grace completely.
"Listen to yourselves. What are you going to do? Take her away from her big bad parents? Whisk her off to the school we're paying for, raise her in some sick little family? Is she supposed to sleep in your dorm? She's a perfectly happy, healthy little girl. She doesn't need you."
"I do, Daddy. He's my brother."
"Not now, Grace. Come here," Helen whispered, holding her hand out to her daughter. Grace shook her head and clutched at Ned's wrist, hiding her face behind it. He kept his eyes on the top of her head.
"This is your doing. You've told her something."
"She didn't need me to tell her. She's not an idiot, Dad. She knew I hadn't just disappeared, and she knows I'm not going to. And no, of course I'm not going to take her away. I couldn't and I wouldn't want to. She doesn't deserve to be taken away from her friends, her home, her life. I know how much it hurts. I just want to see her."
"We'll stop you. I don't want you near her."
"Could I just interject?" Ned mumbled, "You tried to stop him before. You haven't come off very well."
"You can stay out of it," Mark snapped, his lips thin and pale, "this is complicated."
"No it isn't." Grace had come out from behind Ned's arm. "I won't forgive you. If you move him away or stop him coming here, I'll hate you forever. Hate you."
She didn't say it like most ten-year-olds do. It wasn't petulant or rash. It was considered and frank and honest. Sebastian was proud of her, if slightly annoyed that she was probably more mature at ten than he was at seventeen.
"And I can make things uncomfortable for you. I can embarrass you. Ned and I could do things in public that you really wouldn't want the press getting a hold of." Ned bit his lip. He knew Seb was bluffing, but the idea was still mortifying. He tried to suppress the flush in his cheeks. "It can't look good for a District Attorney to have a son getting up to no good all over town."
Helen glanced at her husband.
"Mark?"
"Looks like it's up to you, Father. You can have a free babysitter or public humiliation. I know I wouldn't vote for a guy who can't even keep his own son under control."
"And you can promise me you don't want to live here again?"
"God, no. I've got reasons to stay at Dalton." Ned smiled to himself. "I only want to be here when you're not. Everybody wins."
"Mark, say something. Mark."
"Come on, Mark. We're all waiting. Yes or no?"
"Grace; go to bed. It's late. Say goodbye to Sebastian."
Her eyes filled with tears. She shook her head.
"No, Daddy, you can't! You have to let him come back!"
"Do what I'm telling you. You'll see your brother again soon."
Sebastian's air of confidence faltered for a beat.
"Really? I can come back?"
"Can he, Dad? Please?"
Mark looked at the floor. He was furious, but he didn't have a leg to stand on. He argued for a living, and he knew when he'd been beaten.
"As long as I don't have to speak to you, as long as you stay out of my way, you can come here. You can give Grace her dinner, watch her until we get home, and then you leave. I want all of her homework done. A slip in either of your grades and we review the situation. We can change our minds if we see fit. And he doesn't come," he nodded toward Ned.
Grace clung to his hand.
"Yes he does. I want him too. Please." Sebastian turned to look at them both, staying between them and his parents as a human shield. He couldn't shake the instinct to protect them both from anything he thought could hurt them, and as far as he was concerned they were two of the most dangerous things on Earth.
"Yes. Ned comes too when he wants. We can take her out at weekends if we like, provided her schoolwork is done."
Mark's lip twitched. He had always resented settling, but he'd raised a worthy opponent.
"Fine. Now I think you've had your fun for tonight. You've made us look like monsters and you've got your way. Are you happy?"
"Seeing Grace will make me happy."
"Marvellous. Now get out."
Sebastian felt a huge smile brewing in his stomach, but he suppressed it. He nodded at his parents before turning back to Grace and Ned. He stooped down to give her a hug, holding tight as he whispered 'see you soon, Gracieface' in her ear. She giggled and squeezed back. He stood up and held a hand out to Ned.
"Shall we?"
Ned gave a coy nod and took it, lacing his fingers between Sebastian's. As they walked past his parents, he glanced back at them.
"It was nice meeting you."
Sebastian fought an urge to burst out laughing and Ned grinned at Grace then followed Seb down the stairs. They quietly slipped their shoes and jackets on, smiling occasionally at each other. They both wanted to scream in victory, and part of Sebastian wanted to ravish Ned then and there, but they held it all in as they walked to the car, hand in hand. They climbed in and sat in silence for a few seconds, letting the last ten minutes sink in.
"Fuck," Ned whispered, "you did it."
Sebastian nodded and swallowed, trying to squeeze the lump out of his throat.
"Uh-huh. I. Yeah. Fuck. It worked."
"I guess you don't always have to be nice to people."
"They don't understand nice."
Ned brought Sebastian's hand to his mouth and kissed it, beaming at him.
"I'm so proud of you."
Sebastian smiled back and kissed the corner of Ned's mouth, his head still spinning and their hands still squeezing together as Ned kissed him back. His hand came up to Ned's face, feeling the cool skin under his palm. Ned's tongue slid up against his, and he let out a small moan as he leaned into him, and Sebastian could have stayed like that for hours, holding the boy who'd given him so much, but he gently pulled away. Their foreheads pressed together and they both gave a quiet, breathless laugh. Ned looked into Sebastian's eyes and covered the hand on his cheek with his own.
"Ned?"
"Mmm?"
"Let's go home."
"Don't you mean school?"
He shook his head.
"I mean Dalton."
Dalton was more his home than this place had ever been. His home was wherever Ned was.
Okay, just wanted to say thanks to those of you who have been following this for as long as you have, and anyone else who's tagged along since. It's finally finished (and I mean finally because I'd actually started this months before I started posting here) and I'm glad you guys like Ned as much as I do x