The Alternative Nighter
This is an alternative to 'the All-Nighter' (TAN). I hope you enjoy where I am taking this. Thanks to both HypeWryterEnt and GoldenGirlSherry for planting the seed of this story in my head. Always love our conversations ladies!
Tony and Kathleen are at the motel, studying as their fellow classmates call it quits. They are sitting closely on the bed, in the dark, they feel drawn to each other and kiss. What started as a small kiss, turns more hot and heavy. Tony lays her down on the bed. Kissing her down her neck as his hands wander up and down her sides.
"Oh Tony." She moans. He stiffens. ~What the hell am I doing?~ He thinks to himself and pushes himself up.
"I am so sorry Kathleen.." He stumbles. "I.. I.. I can't do this. Not with you." Kathleen sits up and pulls her knees to her chin, embarrassed. "No.. NO! It's not you.. it's me!" He apologises.
"Wow.. I haven't heard that one before." Her voice is soft, but heavy.
"No that's not what I meant." Tony gets up off the bed and starts pacing, turning on the lights and then starts rubbing the back of his neck. "Look I am sorry." He turns to face her. "This.." He motions his hand between the two of them. "This was never my intent." He sees the tears forming in Kathleen's eyes.
"Never mind, I get it. You are not the first guy to.. you know.." She looks up at him with tears in her eyes. "reject me." A single tears drops as he watches it fall down her cheek. One part of him wants to brush the tear away, but the other part is warning him that this might send mixed signals her way. He rubs his face again then pours 2 cups of coffee and hands her one.
"That's not it, Kathleen." He sits down next to her. "You are a very and I mean very attractive woman. Any man would be lucky to have you."
"Except you." She says with a heavy heart.
"That's not it either." He takes a sip from his coffee. "It's just.." He sighs. Is he really going to confess to this almost stranger something he can't admit to anyone else?
"Just what? If it's not my looks.. is it my personality?" There is a slight disdain in her voice. Tony chuckles remembering the conversations he had with the other students. "So it is?" Insecurity got the better of her.
"Honestly?" He looks at her. She looks scared but nods. "At first I didn't really like you. I mean you were everything I am not." He smiles at her. "Or so I thought." A small smile breaks out on Kathleen's face. "It turns out we have more in common than I ever could have imagined. I mean both working class, both older students.." He looks at her again. "And you are much kinder and more fun then you let out to be." He winks. "I guess that's why we should always get to know people better before judging." He now turns to her. "I am sorry I judged you without really knowing you." She gives him a grateful smile.
"Thank you for saying that Tony. It means more to me than you'll ever know." She gives a weak smile, still sad he stopped what they were about to do. She desperately wants to ask him why he stopped what they were about to do.
"You probably wonder why I stopped.." He points towards the bed. "All of this?" She shrugs but then slowly starts nodding. He swallows the lump he feels in his throat, then he sighs. ~Why is this so damn hard?~ He puts his face in his hands.
"Tony?" She softly touches his shoulder. He doesn't move.
"My heart belongs to someone else." Because he was talking so quickly she immediately responds.
"What did you say?" She honestly didn't hear what he said. He takes his head out of his hands and looks at her.
"My heart belongs to someone else. I am head over heels in love with her." She stares at him with an open mouth.
"What? Why? How?" Kathleen tries to focus. "Why did you kiss me if you are in love with someone else? Because that kiss felt like more." She admits. Tony gives her a shocked look.
"You are right. It did feel like more. Shit.. I really screwed up didn't I?" Kathleen looks at her thighs and starts smoothing out the fabric but doesn't respond. She wants to go further with him, he is attractive, attentive and smart. All the things she likes in a man. And now it turns out he is also honest and loyal. What else could a woman ask for?
"Thank you for your honesty, even though it hurts. I'm glad you stopped us, because I wouldn't have stopped us." She chuckles. "Finally I meet a man that checks all the boxes.. turns out he is in love with someone, just my luck." She bumps her shoulder to his.
"It's not that I don't want to, trust me you are attractive and I am very tempted. I just don't want to risk losing what she and I started building." He shakes his head slowly. "It is kinda like a house of cards, ya know?" He glances at her. "One gust of wind and it could all be gone. I don't want to risk losing her." He feels tears welling then he quickly gets up. "I am so sorry, not only for doing what I did, but also for springing this all on you. It isn't fair." Kathleen smiles up at him.
"I think you're the first guy who has ever been this honest with me." She looks at her hands. "Not going to lie, it stings a bit, but I'm not mad. I am just glad you didn't take it further and then string me along all the while knowing it could never be more than hook-ups. I guess that would hurt me even more in the end." She gives him a sad smile.
"I have to ask, is this going to stand in the way? I mean when it comes to us studying together? Because you are an amazing study buddy." He flashes his pearly whites, making her giggle.
"It might for a couple of days, but no, I'd love to continue studying with you. Just give me some time to process all of this. I am not angry with you, you have to know that. I am just.." She struggles finding the right word. "Let's just say this isn't my first rodeo and I really liked you. Heck I still like you. You are an amazing guy and she is one lucky lady. I hope she knows that!"
"I think she does." Tony gets a goofy grin on his face thinking about Angela. Then he realises he just kissed another woman and he has to be honest towards Angela. All of a sudden his heart feels heavy, he knows it'll break her heart finding out he kissed Kathleen.
"Good. Now let's study some more art." Kathleen clicks the next slide. But because of the lights being on, they can hardly see it.
Tony walks towards the switch and grabs a chair on his way back. He turns the chair and sits on it. As they both name the piece and its artist.
After an hour, Kathleen doesn't click to the next slide. He looks over at her, she has fallen asleep. He doesn't feel right just leaving her, so he pulls the covers to cover her and takes the empty spot on the bed next to her, making sure they never touch.
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When he arrives back home, it is nearly 6:30AM. He feels happy about his study night. But also guilty that he slept at the motel, with another woman in the same bed. He is about to head up to take a shower as Mona enters the kitchen.
"Where have you been?" She says in her famous Mona tone, hoping to dish out some gossip.
"I just got up." He isn't lying.
"I call BS. When I went to bed your car wasn't there. And it was late." She raises her eyebrow at him.
"I probably came home after you went to bed, it was late. Don't remember the time." Now he lies. Mona leans in and whiffs him.
"I smell a woman on you or maybe you recently bought the new Lancôme fragrance Trésor?" She narrows her eyes and looks him straight in his eyes. "Tell me I'm wrong Tony, please tell me you bought Trésor?" It feels like her eyes are piercing through his.
"I didn't." He hangs his head low.
"Did you.. uhm.. well you know. Are you going to break my daughter's heart?" Tony's eyes shoot up to meet hers.
"What? What do you mean?" He says confused.
"Don't act so innocent Tony!" Mona can't hide her annoyance by his attitude. "Did you do something irreversible? Are you going to break Angela's heart?"
"Why would I break her heart?" He is confused by her fierceness and her questions. Mona pushes her index finger to his nose.
"Stop doing this innocent act. You sure as hell know how Angela feels about you. Heck we've all known since Jamaica. You think I didn't see your little make-out session on the bench before I got cannon balled?" She breezes. "Because I did see it! And I know my daughter.. I know her well. She is NOTHING like me… Thank heavens for that.. but we all know she has been holding out and waiting for you. And if you don't even know that you need to get your head out of your a.." Tony puts up his hand.
"You don't have to finish that sentence. I know where you're getting at." He looks at his feet.
"What happened? Why are you self-sabotaging this thing Angela and you have build up?" She looks up at him. "What happened Tony?"
"Nothing really.." He shrugs.
"Nothing? You come in late or early, smelling like a woman's fragrance and guilt-written face. Talk to me Tony. Please." He looks at her again and sighs.
"Honestly nothing really happened. I was studying with my study group. Then most of the group went home, but I stayed behind with Kathleen.."
"Kathleen?" Mona questions.
"Yeah, she is part of the study group. She is like me and 'older' student." He chuckles but Mona has a deadpan look on her face. "Well, she is like me when it comes to studying as well. We both take our education very serious. Then we took a break and got talking, we have more in common than we actually thought we'd have. Ya know. Both working class, both late students and you just having fun. Then we went back to studying again, lights out, watching art slides.. and some of these slides are like.. you know.." Mona nods in acknowledgment. "So we kissed." He looks at her with guilt in his eyes.
"And?" Mona's eyes grow wide.
"Well things were getting hot and heavy, you know how that goes.." He pauses a second and smirks at her. She can't help but smile. "I kissed her down her neck, my hands on her body and then.." He sighs as he feels nauseous because he feels he has betrayed Angela. "She moaned my name."
"And then?" Mona felt confusion because he looks so guilty and kissing seems so innocent.
"I stopped. I apologised. I feel so bad Mona, I feel like I've betrayed Angela. I mean I had to stop myself, Mona, I wanted it. But when the voice hit my eardrum.. it wasn't Angela. I wanted so bad for her to be Angela." He gives Mona a shocked look. He never intended to confess that especially not towards her mother.
"You two.." Mona shakes her head. "Why don't you two just tell each other how you feel about one another? And stop all this running around in circles." She looks at him. He shrugs and doesn't want to respond. "Do you love my daughter Tony?" She knows the answer but she needs to hear him say it. He stares at her. "Well? Do you?"
"I think you know the answer Mona." He says annoyed.
"I need you to say it Tony." She narrows her eyes again. Tony drops himself into a chair and sags. "Answer me Tony. And please sit up straight." Tony doesn't move.
"I do." He nearly whispers the words.
"What did you say?" Mona pressured
"I do.." Still his voice is a mere whisper.
"You need to speak up Tony. I need actual words." Mona is getting angry at him.
"I do love her." His voice soft but he looks up at Mona. "I love her more than words can describe. I love her so much, if a day goes by where we have hardly seen each other, I go out of my way to keep her near me for 5 more minutes. Even if it's just for a cup of tea or a 5 minute chat. I need to end my day seeing her or talking to her. She has had my heart longer than I care to admit to. Mona?" Mona just nods. "I need her more than I need oxygen." Mona bursts out laughing. "This is why we don't tell you things." He says in disappointment.
"Tony, you need oxygen to live. That's why I'm laughing." She snickers.
"You're not getting it. I need her in my life to live. But.." He puts his head in his head again.
"But what?" Mona feels a slight fear coming over her.
"Mone.. let's be real. Angela and me?" He sarcastically huffs. Mona takes the seat next to him.
"What are you talking about?" She seriously looks at him.
"Come on Mone." He looks at her. "We are talking about Angela. The most beautiful, intelligent, successful, beautiful and amazing woman I've ever know." Mona sits back.
"So you're intimidated by my daughter." He gives her a slight nod.
"Who wouldn't be?"
"I wouldn't." Mona looks his straight into his eyes.
"Why not?" He respects the level of confidence she is exuding.
"Because of my mother she always felt like she was better than others." Mona smiles at the thought of her mother. "She loves Angela beyond words and she has always shown her disappointment in me. She even thought Robert was too good for me. And maybe he was, but I loved him beyond words and he loved me, I know it." Thinking of Robert always makes her smile. "Robert made me feel worthy, he showed me I was worthy. Angela gets that from him you know. In her way she is always showing you how worthy you are to her. Don't you see that?" Tony shakes his head. "You idiot!" She can't help but insult him. "Remember when you tried to become president of the PTA? Remember everything Angela said about you?" Tony just nods. "That's the Robinson love language. They may not say it, they show it. Or remember when she cooked for you? Angela never cooked for anyone. Or when she let you win at miniature golf? All these things and I have many more examples if you need them. But that is her way of showing her she loves and values you. You are her equal. You can be so dense at times." Mona shakes her head in disbelief. "But I still love ya!" She winks at him while he smiles at her. "Now go tell my daughter how you feel about her." Her voice much softer and warm. Tony side-eyes her.
"You've always been our greatest supporter, haven't you?" He feels some relief by her reaction, but he still needs to face Angela, which is quite a different story.
"I don't know.. I mean Jonathan also tried to get you two together." She grins at him. "And then there is Sam.. you know she loves Angela and values and sees her as a mother figure." Tony has a goofy grin and nods. "As long as she doesn't see me as a grandmother!" Mona jokingly warns.
"Ay oh.. oh ay.. she wouldn't dare!" They both laugh.
"Now.. you said beautiful twice don't think I didn't hear that. What are you going to do about it?" Mona isn't about to let this slide.
"I don't know yet. But I do feel that I have to tell her what happened between Kathleen and me." He will never lie to Angela.
"What?! Oh no! Don't do that!" Mona feels that they're already walking on eggshells and this confession might break the already the thin-walled bubble. "You'll break her heart. I know the kiss between what's-her-name and you meant nothing. But Angela is not like me." Mona sighs. "Remember when she found out I cheated on her father?" Tony nods in agreement. "You know how Angela responded to that, you were there. I don't know how she'll respond to your news. I think it'll break her heart." Mona gives him a pained look.
"I will not start anything with Angela without telling her the truth Mona. I can't and won't do that to her. I love her too much to start off with a secret." Mona nods.
"Okay, but it's your funeral. I think you'll regret not sleeping with what's-her-name." Mona shakes her head and smiles. "I'll be right back." She gets up and leaves to go to her apartment.
Tony is about talk walk out to take a shower when he hears Angela coming down. He quickly grabs the dish rag, throwing it over his shoulder and then takes a pan to put on the stove. Then turns to the coffee pot and starts making coffee.
"Good morning, Tony." Her voice was warm and loving. He felt weak in his knees just by hearing her voice.
"Morning Angela!" He turns around and sounds chipper as ever.
"Are you wearing the same clothes as yesterday?" She asks confused, but left it at that.
"Coffee is almost ready." He just talks about something else.
"Are you okay?" She cocks her head towards him. "You must have come in late, because I didn't hear come in."
"Yeah.." He walks to the refrigerator and grabs the orange juice. "I don't even know what time it was." He curses himself for lying.
"So how was it?" She lovingly says.
"Huh? What?" He hands her a glass of orange juice.
"How did studying go? I am so sorry for forcing you to go to a motel to study. But I really, you know.. with Jon and Peter. It's my business and income." She starts apologising.
"Don't apologise Angela. Your business is important." He starts pouring 2 cups of coffee, then puts one in front of her and sits down with his own. "Studying went well. I think we can ace this test." He smiles and drinks his coffee.
"That's good, I am still sorry I had to send you away. I mean this is basically your house as well. I do feel so guilty." She gives him a sad look. All he wants to do is take her face into his hands, kiss her and tell her it's okay. He covers her hand with his and starts stroking the top of her hand with his thumb.
"Don't feel bad." He smiles at her. "I got to study and it went really well." Angela's heart starts beating faster as he keeps stroking her hand, she can't keep her eyes off of his hand on hers.
"Are you okay Tony?" He looks at her, he feels the guilt will suffocate him.
"Of course I am, I am at home with the people I love the most in the world." Angela smiles at his words, but she feels there is something going on. He squeezes her hand. Angela drinks her coffee with her free hand, she just loves the warmth of his hand and she doesn't want to lose the connection.
~What is going on with you Tony?~ She thinks as she looks at him over the rim of her cup. ~What are you hiding from me?~ She closes her eyes and enjoys her coffee and his warm hand on hers.
~I am so so sorry Angela. I will tell you, I promise you. I just need to gather the strength and guts to tell you. I don't want to hurt you, I don't want to see those beautiful brown eyes sad. All I want is for you to be happy, happy with me.~ He watches her close her eyes, her face is soft. ~God you are so beautiful.~
That's when Samantha enters the kitchen and he immediately takes his hand off of hers. Angela looks at her own hand, missing the warmth and weight of his hand. He shoots her an apologetic look, she gives him a small smile.