2.
Bella
...
I finally ended that night hours later when the coffee shop and bar I worked at closed for the night at eleven. Having spent the entire night tense and jumpy at the thought of vampires possibly being nearby, I was exhausted as I walked quickly down the sidewalk toward my apartment several blocks away. I knew it wasn't the safest thing in the world – the group of men in Port Angeles from whom Edward had saved me taught me that – but in the back of my head I knew that if a vampire wanted to kill me, there wasn't a damn thing I could do to stop it.
Such were my gloomy thoughts that night; I was so unaware of my surroundings I didn't notice the two figures in front of me until they were right there next to a light pole on the side of the street. I froze, my mouth half open and my back ramrod straight.
Vampires. Second time in one day… this is shaping up to be a pretty shitty Tuesday night.
I didn't know what to do, so I stupidly said, "Uh… hi?"
Neither vampire answered, but as I looked at their faces more closely, I could see their jaws and chests vibrating with growls. My breathing quickened and my heartbeat dangerously sped up.
I needed to get out of there. Now. I stepped back with one foot, foolishly hoping to make a break for it – the two vampires leaned forward, mad looks in their eyes. I realized they must be newborns – Edward had once explained to me that newborns were vicious, uncontrolled creatures, just like what stood leering at me in the semi-darkness of the city street.
But before I could even move, the taller, more disturbed-looking vampire on the right lunged at me, knocking me to the ground. The next second, I heard loud growl morphing into a deep-voiced shout; at the same time, the newborn's incisors pierced my neck briefly before he was ripped entirely off me.
I blinked stupidly up at the night sky and shakily pressed my left hand to my neck, pressing against the stinging, bleeding scratches. A different vampire reached down, grabbed me by my upper arms and hauled me upright.
It was the red-eyed vampire I'd seen on the street earlier! He stood looking fierce in the dim light, wearing faded jeans and a well-worn flannel shirt with the sleeves rolled up his forearms.
Dizzy and too shocked to speak, I said nothing but stare. The vampire looked me over, head to toe, till his eyes landed on my neck. When he raised his eyes to mine, I gasped and everything seemed to pulse around me – I had the strangest feeling, like my instincts were all whispering to me, "oh yes, now this is right."
He looked as confused as I felt, before he quickly bent toward my neck. "Oh my God, no," I cried, not really wanting to die now that the moment had apparently come - but then I felt him softly lick up the side of my neck, along my cuts. I shivered in pleasure and raised my hands to rest flat on his chest. The sensation of his wet tongue on my skin caused wetness to gather between my legs.
The vampire pulled back, looked me straight in the eye, grinned widely, and said, "Your neck's healed. You're welcome. Now RUN."
He shoved my shoulders backward, then turned his back on me face the other two newborns he'd interrupted.
"Hey, wait!" I yelled, stumbled slightly and hesitated, still shocked at what the hell was going on and also not wanting to leave him.
Then the other newborn launched himself at my protector. I gave in to my human instincts and booked it the hell out of there.
...
After I'd made it home, running the entire way, I had locked all my doors and windows, took several deep breaths, then shed my work clothes and tugged on more comfortable clothes. I rushed through my kitchen, grabbing my emergency supplies, before hunching myself up into a ball on my couch.
I had a can of beer, a bottle of Xanax, and a small joint sitting on the table in front of me, and music filtered into the room sat from the stereo in my bedroom. I had sat anxiously for 10 minutes, wondering who would come for me next. As the adrenaline wore off my body began to shake from the fear, I drank half of the beer and popped two Xanax.
I lightly touched the new scar on my neck, tracing the jagged, curved line with the tips of my fingers. The skin was slightly raised and especially sensitive; I closed my eyes and imagined the vampire's hands clutching at her arms, his tongue on my neck… and his rakish grin as he told me to run. His red eyes mirthful when they should have been menacing.
I didn't even know his name... but what if I never got to find out? He did get attacked because of me, presumably trying to save my life.
A loud series of knocks sounded from the door, and I shot to my feet in barely seconds. Slightly dizzy, though, from the combination of drugs and sleepiness – from behind its haze, my mind told me, you should probably be afraid right now, Bella. Instead, I was just kind of tired.
"Go away," I yelled.
"Come on darlin', just open the door!" A man's scratchy voice called back – his tone sounded familiar. My heart jumped into my throat.
I yanked open the door to find the vampire from the street. My mouth dropped open in a smile, which he returned, his red eyes looking surprisingly beautiful once again.
I couldn't help myself. "Who the hell are you?" My voice came out all breathy instead of threatening like I'd intended.
He let out a gravelly laugh, looking down with his hands jammed into his jean pockets. "Well, my name's Peter. Are you going to let me in or not?"
I knew I shouldn't getting friendly with a creature that probably planned to kill me, but my insides were dancing at the thought of him coming into my home.
I intentionally turned my back on him – to show him I wasn't afraid - and drifted back to my chair, feeling slightly awkward and exposed in just my skimpy shorts and shirt. He entered, closing the door behind him, then dropped down onto the couch across from my chair, stretching his long, jean-clad legs out in front of him.
His intent stare threw me off – I felt like I was missing something. Like there was something that I should know… and I really didn't like that.
"You can calm down, you know," he smiled at me, leaning forward and rubbing his hands together like he was excited about something.
"I'll be anxious if I damn well please, Peter. How did you find out where I lived? Why are you here?" Are you going to kill me? I wanted to ask, but then I'd rather not know that ahead of time. I'd probably thought more about death today than I had in my entire life…
Pursing his lips and raising his dark eyebrows, he looked surprised at my attitude, though I really had no idea where it was coming from. Apparently I'd really lost my meager social skills in the couple years.
"I followed your scent, of course. You smell pretty damn strong of wildflowers, and you only ran a couple hundred feet."
"So why did you save me?" I didn't understand why he would have saved me earlier if he was just going to come back to eat me later.
"What, did you think I'd let you die for no good reason? You're too damn pretty for that."
I blushed, and had to look away. "You don't know who I am, do you?" I hoped he said no – I didn't want him to be tainted by association with the Cullens.
"Why, should I? Does this have somethin' to do with the bite mark on your wrist?" He asked in a low voice with a southern twang… setting off a spark of warmth in my belly.
I pulled my sleeves down over my wrists nervously. "That's nothing. I used to know some vampires is all, but I don't anymore. Don't care for them much at all, really," I tried to sound dismissive and instead sounded bitter.
A few moments of quiet passed, and the only noises in the room came from my still-open window. "If you're going to kill me just get it over with. I'd rather not be played with beforehand." I said quietly, looking down at my hands in my lap, not sure what to make of my fuzzy feelings for the killer sitting before me, somehow looking right at home on my puffy blue couch.
When he didn't say anything, I looked back up at him. He sat staring at me, a sad look in his eyes.
He sighed. "Look – I don't even know your name – "
I interrupted, clearing my throat, "Bella – my name's Bella."
"Bella. I just came here on account of I thought you should know – I killed those vampires who attacked you. You're welcome for savin' your life."
Before I could say anything but his name, he was out the door, leaving nothing but the faint scent of summer rain and sandalwood in his wake.
I didn't know whether to be relieved that the vampire – no, Peter - had left, scared about the other vampire coming back for me, or to follow my gut, which wanted to be sad and empty because I wanted Peter back.
...
The next night I sat at my small dining room table on a ratty but comfortable wing chair, curled up next to the window. Through the second-floor window open next to my chair, I smelled spicy food mixed with exhaust, and the noises of the city comforted me. I dozed, leaning back into my chair with my feet propped up, thinking of my situation.
With so many people around, I never felt truly alone… but I knew that if Peter or that other vampire came after me that my mostly oblivious neighbors wouldn't deter either of them from bursting in on me and taking whatever it was they wanted.
I hadn't seen a vampire in almost three years – since Victoria had raised an army against me to take revenge for James' death - until yesterday. And honestly, I had to a certain extent expected to run into more vampires more times throughout my life. With my track record – the Cullens, James, Laurent, Victoria, Jake and his Quileute werewolves, and all of Victoria's newborns – I really tended to attract the supernatural.
I liked to think I'd left my feelings for the Edward I used to know behind me when I'd left Forks. Edward had abandoned me and his entirely family had blindly followed his lead – after they'd all just days earlier had the balls to tell me I was already part of the family. I'd suspected for a while that maybe Edward had lied to me in order to protect me… but that was just the one last way he controlled my life – influencing my decisions, molding me into his idea of the perfect quiet, acquiescent and submissive girlfriend.
In my opinion, the Cullen family was a pack of liars and manipulators, including my supposed ex-best friend, Alice. Always wanting to dress and make me up as the girl she wanted me to look like, the kind of girl Edward deserved. I'd done whatever she and Edward had told me to, naïve and lovesick as I had been.
It was my fault, really; I'd shown no personality of my own basically the entire time Edward and I had dated. No wonder he'd gotten sick of me. Even if he had left me for my own good, to save my from the dangers of his kind, the fact that he'd never come back for me proved he really had moved on and forgotten me.
But what if the newborns from the street were two of Victoria's old recruits?
This time, I really was on my own – no Cullens and no werewolves to protect me. Just one sexy-as-hell vampire who may or may not kill me himself. I was fucked.
I knew I should be scared, or angry, or at least something at the thought of Victoria's remaining recruits coming back for me. And I really should be more alarmed about catching the eye of another human-drinking nomad, instead of continuously replaying the memory of him clutching me to his body and sensually flattening his tongue on my neck and dragging it up along my bloody cuts.
To be honest, I couldn't quite get up the mental strength to freak out about it… I felt so tired. Maybe my on and off drinking and weed smoking had something to do with it, but I was so damn sick of the anxiety and fear of living as a human in a vampire's world.
Of course, I'd fought long and hard to make it this far – my strength (as well as my strong flight reflex) led me to a new city and away from those I'd once loved. As Shakespeare would say, I'd been basically banished from Washington.
I remembered my last day in Forks those three years ago…
The wolves – all 14 of them – had fought Victoria and her group of 8 or 9 newborns. The pack had just barely won; they'd managed to rip apart Victoria and the majority of her newborns before the remaining vampires had fled. Having been thrown hard down to the ground under some bushes by one of the Quilieute wolves and hitting her head on a large tree root jutting out of the ground when the vampires had first struck, I had only begun to come to as the fight ground to a finish and the wolves ripped at the vampires' arms, necks, and legs, separating flesh from flesh.
I still couldn't forget what I'd seen then: one of the younger pack members, Seth, lying on the ground with a bloody chunk missing from his neck, with equally bloody and bruised pack members Jared and Paul crouching unsteadily neck to him. Looking at Seth's pained brown eyes, I remembered just how terribly young all of them were – Seth and Embry still just 16, Paul and Sam only a year or two older. And Jacob, my most fierce protector, was still only a child at 15.
Jacob, as soon as he'd seen me, had grabbed me roughly by the upper arm and dragged me back through the forest toward his nearby home.
Huge raindrops fell from a hazy, overcast sky and splattered on the ground. The air was so humid I felt like Jacob and I were fully under water in a stiflingly warm ocean. But when I walked up to the rickety front porch and Jake finally lifted his eyes to meet mine, I saw that Jake's black eyes were angry, an emotion that didn't match my own mixture of guilt and relief at Victoria's attack and subsequent departure.
Now, Jacob needed to protect his own people. "Bella, you know she'll come back for you if you stay here. You're the worst kind of bait!"
My jaw dropped; I hadn't expected this from him! We were safe! For the time being, at least. "Forks is my home, Jacob," I cried, offended, "Where the hell else am I supposed to go?"
"You can't stay here, Bella. I need to protect my people. The Tribe. You're too much of a danger to us, and you need to leave us the fuck alone!" Jake was yelling by then, clenching his hands into fists. He shuddered, then gained control again. "If you don't leave, the vampires will keep coming back to Fork and back at us until there's no one left standing in front of you. You know it. Protecting you is like a death sentence. We can't do this anymore. We shouldn't have to – you're not even one of us."
"Wh-what?" Tears blurred my vision, and my relief at Victoria's departure was long gone. I felt nauseated with Jake's betrayal and at the thought of being once again helpless in a violent world. I stared at Jake's frowning face; his eyes were angry and his breaths were short and choppy.
All I could say to him before stumbling back to my car by the road was a forceful whisper, "I can't even believe you."
I stalked across the overgrown lawn in front of the Blacks' house and threw myself into my truck, my soaked jeans and t-shirt sticking unpleasantly to the seats. With shaking hands, I jammed her key into the ignition, started up the beast, and took a deep, shuddering breath, trying to push the anger away. I'd be goddamned if I fell apart all over again. First Edward threw me to the side after he got tired of me, and then Jake, my supposed best friend, turned his back on me.
I was beginning to realize that no matter what, I was the only one on my side.
As I drove out of Forks later that night after leaving a note for Charlie, with my checkbook, a box of Kleenex, and all the belongings that could fit into my truck, the only plan my fatigued, static-filled brain could come up with was to head toward the south, toward the sun, where vampires wouldn't venture. For once, I would follow my instincts. I had nothing else to rely on – no one else at all, really.
The warm summer night stretched out along the road ahead of me, and I almost felt a wisp of relief… as if my instincts were pulling me away from Forks, to the next step.
Three days later, I coasted into some random town and pulled into the first dive bar I saw on the side of the road.
I sat in my kitchen, staring out the window toward the few neon signs for stores and bars along the dark, rain-slicked street. I took another sip of my beer, and re-focused, almost hoping to see my red-eyed vampire skulking between the buildings across the street – as creepy as that would have been.
"Wait," I breathed, as I saw a dark shape dart across the sidewalk. I half-stood, leaning my hands on the sill to get a closer look.
It was gone. In the building below me, I felt and heard the downstairs door open roughly. I gasped, my heart suddenly pounding, and I stood, frozen, facing the door in the dim yellow streetlight filtering in from the window.
I knew then that someone was coming for me, and my frenzied brain wondered distractedly if I should go turn off the music so it wouldn't bother the neighbors when I was gone. Dead on my kitchen floor, most likely.
As anxiety began to creep into me, I felt overwhelmingly hot, as if heat was emanating from the floor, and I strained to listen for anything moving outside of the door.
With a crash, the wooden door splintered and burst inward. I shrank backward, my thighs touching the table behind me. A small Mexican woman – no, vampire – stood in the doorway, hands on her hips and a sick smirk on her face.
"Hello, pet," she sneered, and I wanted to puke on her.
Without breaking my stare, she burst forward and grabbed me, one hand on my neck and the other grasping my arm. She fisted her hand in my hair and bent my head to the left, then chomped down with a growl.
I cried out as pain shot from neck down my spine; her teeth ripped my skin as they latched deeper and deeper. Even as I slumped in her arms, I tried to keep screaming… her teeth ground into my neck and sucked at my flesh, and I felt dazed. I slowly realized what was missing… there was no burn. Maybe she was controlling her venom?
As I saw dark spots across my vision, my hearing exploded into static, and before everything turned to black, I wondered detachedly if I would really actually die this time.
I found out later that I wouldn't be so lucky.