A/N: Shout out to Paula! Thanks for the comment And thanks everyone for following the story.
I'm dying for October to come already! So unfair
Disclaimer: Do not own any of it. Unfortunately I am not the awesome Julie Plec, Kevin Williamson or L.J Smith. Or whoever the heck owns the show.
Less than three for Regina Spektor. Anyway, enjoy!
Chapter 2
They were quiet for the most part of five minutes, until Elena couldn't handle it anymore- she was tired, she had just died, she was hungry in a way she was never before and she wanted answers.
'Why? Why did you erase that first memory of mine?' Elena demanded. She couldn't figure out why but she was seething at what he had done.
'Like I told you, I couldn't have anyone knowing I was in town,' He said calmly while focusing on the road. He was trying hard here not to lose it at almost losing her and trying hard not to kiss her and hold onto her, afraid if he let go she might never come back. And she was making it quite difficult.
'Well those were important memories to me!'
'Why? We hardly said anything important. I was just talking nonsense and so were you.'
'They just were okay? They affect the person I am today.'
'Is this about the meeting me first thing? Because I can totally forget you said that if you want.'
Elena sighed impatiently 'this has nothing to do with that.'
'Than why are you being so pissy about it?'
This. This was part of the reason she like Damon so much, he didn't treat her like she was fragile. He let her fight back. He challenged her. But right now it was just annoying the hell out of her.
'And what about the second memory?' Her eyes softened up this time but she looked out the window, not letting him read any of her emotions.
'What about it? I said the same thing to you a few months later,' he pulled up in the Gilberts' driveway.
Elena got out and slammed the door, frustrated. She rushed inside the house, just wanting to get away from Damon. She was too confused about her feelings right now.
Jeremy was coming down the stairs when she went inside. He immediately pulled her into a hug, not afraid she would rip his throat out. She wouldn't have been able to anyways; he stunk of vervain.
'I'm so glad you're alive,' Jeremy breathed letting go of her. 'Or undead, whichever.'
Elena smiled at her brother 'Me too. At least for your sake.'
'So will you turn?' Jeremy voiced the question Damon had been dying to ask.
Elena chanced a glance at Damon. He was looking at her intently, waiting for her response. She knew the answer of course. She couldn't leave behind Jeremy, Caroline, Bonnie, Stefan, Damon or anyone else she cared about.
'Yeah, I'm going to turn,' Elena said. And both Jeremy and Damon breathed out sighs of relief. 'I just need some time to process what's just happened.'
Jeremy nodded and she started going up the stairs to her bedroom but just before she went out of sight she gestured for Damon to come upstairs too. He knew what she meant. She wanted him to come from the window so Jeremy didn't know he was in there.
He was there before she was and it didn't surprise her. She locked the door behind her and leaned against it, just staring at Damon from across the room. She wasn't sure what she was supposed to do next but it comforted her knowing that Damon was there. For a whole minute she just stood there then it hit her; exactly what had happened. Tears started rolling down her face without her noticing and Damon immediately flashed to her and she collapsed into his arms.
She sobbed and sobbed until there were no more tears left in her to cry.
'Shhh, it'll be okay,' Damon whispered to her. 'Stefan and Caroline and I will be here to help you. And Bonnie will make you a day ring. We'll all be here to support you okay?'
She nodded but just cuddled her head against his chest, taking comfort in his warm body heat. They had moved to her bed sometime but she hadn't noticed it.
They were quiet for a while until Damon finally broke the silence. 'If you had a choice about turning, without your choice affecting the rest of us, would you turn?'
Elena thought about it and ended up shaking her head. She repeated what she had said to Stefan all that time ago, the day of the sacrifice.
'I'm sorry,' Damon whispered. 'Sorry that you have to endure this curse alongside us for the rest of eternity.'
Elena looked up at him. He wasn't looking at her, afraid if he did, he might do something to make her angry that he'd regret later, like kiss her. Not that he'd ever regret kissing her. He wanted to tell her exactly how lost he felt when he had thought she was dead .But he couldn't- had to keep reminding himself the whole time that she had chosen. And it hadn't been him. So that meant she was officially off limits. And usually he was never one to follow rules but this time was different. This time if he broke the rules it would hurt the two people he cared about most.
More silence. But it was comfortable. She hadn't really paid attention before but now she realized how everything was more heightened than when she was a human and she wasn't even a full vampire yet. She was suddenly conscious of exactly how close she was to Damon. His breath tickled her neck and the hand he had around her was giving her chills. She couldn't breathe properly so she moved to turn around and face the other way to clear her head.
Once she could think straight again she remembered exactly what the reason was for all this mess.
'What happened to Alaric? Is he dead? And Klaus, Rebekah and Elijah?'
'That's right,' Damon said. 'You've been out of the loop.' He then explained all that had happened.
Elena breathed a sigh of relief when she heard that Klaus was desiccated but she wasn't sure whether to be relieved or cry that Alaric was dead. She supposed she was relieved because it was easier for him this way but that didn't stop more tears from falling.
Damon wiped her tears away with his thumb and said 'Stefan's here, along with Bonnie and Caroline.' He had said their names instead of witchy and vampire Barbie. That meant he really was trying to make her feel better.
They both got up and headed downstairs. Caroline's eyes were bloodshot and Bonnie had a weird expression on her face; it was mournful yet resilient.
Elena looked at Stefan for explanation as to why Caroline was crying and Stefan mouthed the word "Tyler."
She mentally smacked herself. How could she have forgotten? She took Caroline's hand and led her upstairs, gesturing for Bonnie to follow. Caroline burst into tears as soon as they reached Elena's bedroom. Bonnie and Elena immediately went by her side and hugged her, trying to comfort her. Soon all three of them were crying. Yes, they had finally got rid of Klaus but they had lost so much more that day. They had lost Alaric, despite him being evil, they felt the loss, and they had lost Tyler, and Elena's humanity.
'We were going to run away, Elena. We were so close to escaping this mess but it caught up with us before we had even left,' Caroline sobbed onto Elena's shoulder.
'It'll be okay, Car. He's in a better place now. He won't be in pain anymore,' Elena tried comforting Caroline but it only made her sob harder. Bonnie was crying too but Elena had a feeling it was for another reason, not just because of their blonde friend's pain. Bonnie never cried like this, ever. For almost half an hour they lay there crying their hearts out until there were no more tears in their tear ducts to shed.
Elena clutched her stomach, she was starting to feel really, really hungry.
'I'm starving,' she said and rushed downstairs to the kitchen and took out the first thing she saw from the fridge and started devouring it. Damon had gone to the Salvatore mansion to get a few blood bags for Elena and Jeremy was in his room so that just left Stefan. He was quietly watching her eat a ham and cheese sandwich.
He finally broke the silence 'How are you feeling?'
'Really hungry, and I still have a headache and my teeth still hurt,' she said between bites.
Stefan nodded. 'It won't hurt anymore once you drink blood.'
They didn't say anything after that until Elena finished the sandwich. She wanted to eat more but she had to control herself. Besides, it didn't matter how much food she ate, it would never fulfill her hunger. Her hunger was for blood.
'I almost attacked that nurse today,' her voice broke the silence. 'I judge and hate the vampires who do that yet that's exactly what I almost did. And if you hadn't stopped me, I would've gone and done it, without any control. I probably would've killed her,' she was full on crying again. Stefan walked towards her and wrapped his arms around her and she sobbed into his chest. God, why wouldn't the tears stop? She felt pathetic.
'Hey, shhh. It's okay. We'll help you okay? All of us,' Stefan sounded so much like Damon then that she couldn't help but cry harder. Why had she chosen? She hadn't been ready to choose yet but she had had to and that was her answer under pressure. She should've had more time to choose. She didn't know if her answer would be different but she should have more time. She was stupid and selfish but they were both part of her heart now and she just couldn't let either of them go. If she did, she would break into a million pieces, she knew.
She finally regained her composure and stepped back. They weren't officially back together but it would be ever so easy to do it. She knew Stefan- he was safe. She always knew that he would respect what she wanted and listen to her and be a perfect gentleman. He was Romeo to her Juliet- slightly less dramatic and forbidden, of course. Or not.
Damon on the other hand was completely unpredictable. He would completely surprise her sometimes with how gentle and loving he could be yet at others he would anger her to no end. He pissed her off yet would be right in the end with the I told you so smirk and already be secretly forgiven by her. His main goal was to make sure she didn't trip and die, no matter the consequences. It didn't matter if she hated him for life as long as she was alive. And he bantered, a lot. He was Allie to her Noah- they fought over everything but they still cared. She wasn't sure she wanted to think about the actual lines of the movie yet which said they fought a lot but they were crazy about each other. Crazy was not a term she would use yet. At least that's what she kept telling herself.
Just then the devil himself came in. Damon raised his hands to show the bags he was carrying. That was a lot of blood.
'You ready?' he asked. He was really composed now and back to his confident self. All traces of the fact that he had been upset were now gone.
Elena looked at Stefan and he nodded for her to go on. 'If you're going to do it, might as well do it now. You'll only have about half an hour more until the sun comes out and you start getting irritated by it anyways.'
She took a deep breath and took one blood bag from Damon. Caroline and Bonnie had come down too and were watching her intently. She ripped open the bad and the smell immediately hit her. How the other three vampires in the room were able to control themselves, she had no idea.
She brought the bag to her lips and took a sip. The taste was even better than the smell. She quickly drained the bag and felt her sharp teeth had broken through and her gums had stopped aching. She grabbed another bag and drained that too. She was about to grab a third when she noticed Damon watching her with raised eyebrows and a smirk. She sighed and put down the third bag. If she drank this too then he would never let her get on his case for drinking too much human blood.
Her senses were so much better now, she could hear, feel, see, and smell so much better. She could hear the raccoon that was clambering on the roof, she could see every detail of everything around her, and she could smell the cologne Damon had on from across the room. It smelled good.
'It's done,' Stefan said and Damon pulled back all the rest of the blood bags, probably to make sure she didn't go overboard. They had promised after all, to teach her how to control her blood lust.
'I need a piece of Jewelry for a daytime charm,' Bonnie said and Elena immediately went to get the lapis lazuli necklace that had belonged to Isobel. She had kept it because after all that Isobel had done, she had still been her mother. She could never be like her "real" mother, Miranda, but she was still her mum in some form. Elena had already forgiven some of the things Isobel had done. Maybe someday she'd forgive all.
Bonnie placed it on the table and started chanting. A few minutes later she stopped and checked the necklace. 'It's done,' she handed it to Elena. Both Stefan and Damon made moves to help her but she couldn't already have them at each other's throats so she put it on herself.
'I think I'll go home,' Bonnie said and hugged Elena and stepped out along with Caroline who was going to be dropped off by Bonnie. Caroline hugged Elena too and with a promise to return the next day, set off behind Bonnie.
She closed the door behind her and headed back to the kitchen where the two Salvatores were still standing along with her brother.
'Are you okay?' Jeremy asked. She nodded stiffly. She was just really tired mentally.
Stefan and Damon both could see it too.
'We'll head home too,' Stefan said and kissed her forehead but Elena looked upwards to indicate for him to come to her bedroom later. She didn't feel like being alone that night.
'Yeah, call us if you need anything,' Damon said and they both walked out the door and into the night.
'I'm going to sleep, Jer,' Elena said before hugging him briefly and going upstairs.
She changed, brushed her teeth then got into bed and waited. Five, ten, twenty minutes passed, still no one. Finally when she almost gave up hope that he was going to show up he appeared through the window. When she had been human she hadn't been able to see them come through it but now she could see them appear.
She gestured for him to come and lay down with her and he obliged. They didn't say anything for the longest time. There wasn't much to say at the time. She was just enjoying his silent company and the safety, warmth and familiarity of his arms. This felt right. It felt like home. Maybe she had chosen right. That's what it felt like when she was laying there next to him.
He's leaving,' Stefan suddenly said softly.
She frowned 'Who?'
'Damon,' she could hear the pain in his voice.
'Why? Where to? When's he coming back?'
He closed his eyes. 'I don't know where he's going; all he said was that he's leaving. Maybe he'll go to the other side of the world. And he isn't.'
Elena sat up 'isn't what?'
'He isn't coming back.'
'Why?' she demanded. She was coming close to tears again.
Stefan's eyes were still closed when he answered 'because you chose.'
And for the sixth time in the last twenty four hours, tears spilled out of her eyes. 'So? That doesn't mean he has to leave!'
'We promised each other, if you chose, the other person would leave.'
'NO!' she cried. 'He can't leave. You have to stop him.'
'He won't listen to me now. He'll listen if you talk to him though. He's leaving in a few hours. He didn't want me to tell you but I never was good at keeping secrets,' he was trying not to sound hurt, she knew. But she had to stop Damon. If she didn't, she was sure she'd never feel whole again.
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