A/N. Hey, guys! I don't have anything to say so I won't bore you. :)

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

"Your grandmother isn't coming over today." James says as soon as they step outside. "Your grandparents live in Kansas for crying out loud."

Kendall turns around to glare at him, seething with anger, and shaking from that close call with Mr. Williams. "My mom wants us home for lunch anyway." he says evenly. "Are you and Carlos joining us, or?"

He stops and lets the question hang in the air. It's no surprise to him when neither of them answer right away. James is too angry at him to think straight and Carlos looks upset.

Looking at his younger friend, Kendall feels the fight begin to drain out of him. "I'm sorry." he says quietly, looking over to the car where Logan is waiting patiently. "I just- we agreed to try this, James. You know that. You too, James."

Carlos opens his mouth to say something, but James jumps in before he can speak. "I did, and you know what, Kendall? I regret it. Did you see Logan back there? Did you hear him? He was remembering and it was because of his dad."

"It was because he loves school!" Kendall snaps back, barely remembering to keep his voice low enough so Logan won't hear him.

As if on cue, Carlos begins to ease away from them. "I'm going to go wait with Logan." he says quietly. That's all he says. Then he walks over to the car.

"Way to go." James mutters, rolling his eyes. "Carlos isn't upset enough."

"So it's my fault?" Kendall demands in disbelief. "Listen, James. Logan didn't remember his dad, he remembered how to get to Mr. Williams' class and that he wants to be a doctor. It has nothing to do with his father. You're kidding yourself if you actually think that. Second, you're the one who's making a big deal out of this. Carlos would be fine if-"

"Do you really think he'd be fine?" James interrupts with a short laugh. "I mean, don't get me wrong, I know we're making it worse, but even without our fighting, do you think Carlos would be okay, Kendall? Because I don't."

James is right about that at least. Kendall feels his shoulders slump in defeat. "I know." he admits with a heavy sigh as he runs his hand through his hair. "And I- I don't have a clue what to do." He hates saying it out loud. He knows that everyone, including James, is aware that he is just as helpless as the rest of them. But to say it makes it so much more real. "There's nothing I can do." he finally says, feeling the weight on his heart grow even heavier.

James is quiet for a long, long time. When Kendall looks up at him, he has tears in his eyes. "I know." he says quietly. "We're all the same this time, Kendall. We all want to do the same thing, but we're all just as helpless as you are." He smiles bitterly. "We're equal for once."

Kendall's throat aches. "James-" he begins.

"Kendall," James says shakily. "If you're going to tell me that we're all on equal ground with you where Logan is concerned, save your breath. There's nothing you can say to convince me otherwise. We all love Logan equally and we all want him to be safe and happy and-" he shrugs. "That's how all of us feel about each other. You know that. But you and Logan have this connection and I'd have to be blind to miss it. I don't know exactly how or why, but I do know that a lot of the reasoning has to do with your dads. Your parents got divorced and Logan's dad kept him alive but not much else. You could relate to him better than Carlos or I could. He let you in more than anyone else because whether he said anything or not. . . you still knew."

At first, Kendall has no idea what to say. Just a minute ago he was ready to punch James in his face, but now. . . Everything James is saying is one hundred percent true. It's true and it hurts Kendall so bad. It hurts him because he knows that James and Carlos must have always felt sort of left out and it hurts because he misses that connection with Logan like crazy. He feels incomplete without it. Without him. "James, you and Carlos are just as important to me as Logan is. I love you both just as much as I love him. You know that, right?"

"Of course." James gives him a lopsided smile. "I'm not that stupid, Kendall. But it's different with Logan. Logan needs someone who knows kind of what he's dealing with. He needs someone to take care of him like his dad didn't. As soon as your dad walked out that door, you stepped up and became the man of your house. It makes complete sense that you would try to fix what Logan's dad broke. It also makes complete sense that you'd be able to help him more than anyone else because of all this."

"I don't-"

"Let me finish." James says, holding up his hands. "Because right now I'm saying all the right stuff, but I'm going to say some different stuff now and you might go back to hating me and wanting to punch me." He swallows hard and licks his lips nervously. "Kendall, it's because of his connection with you that Logan needs to know about his dad. You were the one who was able to see how loved he was to all of us and that he was worth it after his dad made him feel worthless. It's like," he pauses, fighting for the right words. "Do you remember winning a regular season game or a playoff game more?"

"A playoff game." Kendall answers instantly, not liking at the sudden turn this conversation is taking.

"Okay, so why?" James asks him. "Because it's a bigger deal, right? It's a stronger emotion. I'm no psychologist, Kendall, but-"

"You're right." Kendall interrupts. He watches the hope leap into James' eyes and hates himself for it and what he's about to do.

"Really?" James looks like he's about to fall over in relief. "Kendall-"

"You're right, James." Kendall repeats. "You are no psychologist." He glances over at Carlos and Logan who are looking uncomfortable in the summer heat. "This conversation is over, James. We're going home. If you want to come with us, then get it the car and keep your mouth shut."

James stares at him, his expression wiped clean of any emotions. He's hardly even blinking and it looks like breathing is a struggle for him. This is what he gets like before he explodes in anger. Kendall is bracing himself for whatever might happen, when James simply turns around and walks off in the opposite direction. At first, Kendall's jaw drops and out of the corner of his eye, he can see Carlos move like he wants to go after James. But then they're al back to standing like players in a game of freeze tag, unwilling to move for fear of losing.

Fine. Kendal thinks. Let James be absolutely impossible. He tears his gaze away from his friend's friends back and starts walking towards Carlos and Logan. James was right. Kendall does know Logan better than anyone else put together. But that means he knows that Logan doesn't need to be reminded about his dad. Kendall is right. There is no alternative.

"What happened to James?" Logan asks curiously when Kendall joins him and Carlos.

Kendall smiles tightly. "He had to go home." he says. "He wanted to walk."

Logan doesn't say anything and when Kendall looks bak at him, it's obvious that James is far from his mind. That's another thing that's been worrying Kendall. Logan is easily distracted and doesn't concentrate nearly as well as he used to. It happened in the school too with Mr. Williams when the teacher mentioned his dad and Kendall changed the subject. It worked better than he though it would, but he's not sure if he's happy about it. He's really worried. Because if Logan's memory comes back, will he be able to keep it? Will he remember anything from this trip tomorrow? Kendall knows that they have to take it one day at a time, but he's never been so afraid of the future.

So far the afternoon hasn't gone well. After a quick lunch at home, Logan insisted that they keep going, determined to keep remembering. Ignoring Carlos' suggestion that they call James to see if he wanted to rejoin them, Kendall gave into Logan and drove over to the mall, this time with Katie and their mom. It was weird at first, being without James, but Kendall quickly became distracted by Logan and since then. . .

Well, since then they haven't had much luck. Any luck at all, actually. Logan has had no memory of anywhere they've been or anyone they've met. He's beyond frustrated and exhausted. "I don't get it." he says, shaking his head. "I thought earlier today that things were going to come together and work out. I thought I was going to keep remembering. I knew it wouldn't all come back, but. . . I thought more would-"

"Logan, you're tired, sweetie." his mother gently reminds him. "You've had a long day and you're taking in a lot. Maybe you just need to go home and take a little break."

Logan surprises them all by laughing wildly. "You mean relax?" he asks weakly. "Tell me though, how do I relax? Because I sure don't remember. Apparently, I like reading huge medical textbooks because that is all that's in my room. Apparently, I want to be a doctor because that's what my teacher told me. I only know things about myself because of what people have told me or because what I've seen. I don't remember anything for myself."

"Didn't you remember where to go in school?" Katie asks quietly.

But Logan only snorts in disgust. "Yeah, big deal." he says bitterly. "Like that's going to do me any good."

Katie stares at him with wide eyes. Logan has never snapped at her. He's never even come close before until now. At first, her eyes fill with tears and Kendall has no idea what to do because his baby sister looks like she's about to cry and really, Logan is the one who made her cry. But Logan isn't really Logan and he's upset and Kendall doesn't blame him for being upset. The jumbled thoughts are still racing through his head when Katie clears her throat and says, "Well, at least it's something. Every little bit helps, right?"

"Every little bit helps." It's something that Logan has said so many times that Kendall practically hears it in his voice instead of Katie's. And for an instant, he thinks he might have seen something in Logan's face. . . familiarity? But it dies quicker than it appears and Kendall is left wondering if he simply imagined it. Left with the obvious problem of Logan exhausted beyond reason and Katie ready to cry, he looks at his mother who nods in silent agreement.

"All right," she says, standing up. "I think it's time that we head home. Logan, you can decide for yourself what you want to do when we get there. Just because you don't remember anything, does not mean that we dictate your life or that you have to snap at everyone. I know you're tired and confused and scared. We are too and even though you're feeling it a thousand times more than the rest of us put together, that gives you no reason to take everything out on us. You're going to have to let us help you."

Kendall opens his mouth to protest, but she turns to him as well. "This isn't going to work out if we treat him like a stranger." she says in a voice that only trembles a little bit.

"But I feel like a stranger!" Logan says in a loud voice that makes Kate and Carlos jump. "I don't remember any of you at all! All of these stories you keep telling me? They sound so great, but all I feel is jealousy that you have these memories and I don't. And it's frustrating because every single time you ask me something, I have to say no. I have to disappoint you all over again and it doesn't get any easier, it gets worse. It gets harder. " Logan is talking faster, and becoming more unhinged by the second. His voice is rising, attracting the attention of onlookers. They have to leave.

Logan sits in the back of the car, in a sullen silence. He doesn't even look at them, not once. Kendall can tell from the way he's pressed close to his door, that he's ashamed by his outburst and is trying to avoid them. Of course, this is unlike him, but since Logan doesn't exactly know them, he's afraid. He's afraid of apologizing and being rejected. Kendall sighs and looks over at his mother. She looks older and more tired than he's ever seen her. She was right of course to reprimand Logan back at the mall, but how does she do it? Deep down, Kendall knows that he has to treat Logan as close to normal as possible. Obviously, they can't pretend that everything is okay, but he has to stop. . . babying him.

He's babying Logan. Even though Logan has his stupid amnesia, he's not completely helpless. He just needs some direction. Okay, a lot of direction. And so far, it's been easier said than done. It's also gotten worse instead of better as the day has worn on. They've lost James, Logan snapped at Katie, they're all about to lose their minds. . . something has to give here.

And it does.

They arrive back home and Logan has his hand on the door handle, ready to escape even before the car is turned off. He stops though and looks over at Katie. "I'm really sorry about earlier." he says quietly. "You were right and I was wrong. All of you were right and I was wrong. I need to stop letting my amnesia hold me back from getting better. It sounds weird, I know, but I can't remember and that scares me. I want to trust you, but it's like I don't know you to trust you. Still . . . you haven't give me any reason to not believe in you."

Mrs. Knight offers him a small smile. "I promise you can trust us, Logan. You'll see that for yourself soon, I hope."

Logan smiles back, but it doesn't reach his shadowed eyes. "Yeah." he whispers. "I hope so too."

He gets out then and for once, Kendall doesn't follow right behind him. He watches him go, wondering why he said he believed in them when he sounds like he's ready to surrender.

A/N. Shout out to onehotgreasymechanic on Tumblr for encouraging me to finish this! I love you all and hope that you have a wonderful weekend! I'll start working on chapter right now. :