A/N. I'm going to apologize right away for how bad this chapter is. Because of personal reasons, I'll be taking a break from Fan Fiction. It's nothing serious, but I can't concentrate on my writing as much as I should. I think that's been obvious from the lack of quality lately. I'm really sorry, guys. I'll be writing, but not posting. Hopefully when I come back, things will be better. In the meantime. . .

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

It's been three days since they've seen James and Kendall isn't sure what to make of it. He doesn't really want to see his friend after the argument they had, but he's furious that James isn't coming around to see Logan either. And, if he's being perfectly honest, he's worried about James too.

Yes, he's incredibly stubborn and clashes often with Kendall. Yes, this is easily the worst fight they've ever had. But Kendall still cares. James is far too passionate to handle things by himself. He flies higher and falls harder than anyone Kendall has ever known. He knows that despite his absence, James still cares about Logan as much as everyone else he knows that the whole amnesia thing is messing him up like the rest of them. So where is he?

He pulls himself from those thoughts and glances around the room. They're watching some old home videos and Logan is staring so intently at the television screen that it looks like he's bring hypnotized. Everyone else is watching him.

It's from Kendall's ninth birthday. He received new roller blades that year, so they're all in the driveway playing hockey. Playing might be a bit of a stretch, Kendall acknowledges with a smile. Mostly it's a four man battle for the hockey ball. There's one goal, the garage door, and between all of them, there's probably been a hundred goals scored already.

Kendall looks back at Logan, recognizing the look on his face. It's not very encouraging. Logan isn't watching the video as one who remembers, but simply as one who is observing. It's similar to the look he used to get when he was studying for a test. Is that all they are to him right now?

Suddenly, the doorbell rings and before anyone else can react, Katie jumps up to get it. Kendall sighs as he watches her go. She's been so quiet lately. Way too quiet if you ask even Logan who stares after her now as well. That, Kendall supposes, might be some consolation. Whether he realizes it or not, Logan knows deep down that Katie is acting differently. He just doesn't know enough to put his finger on it.

Voices interrupt the video and Kendall looks to to see the entire hockey team crowded into the small living room. "Guys!" he exclaims, quickly getting to his feet. "What are you doing here?"

Chris gives him a strange sort of grin, like he's uncertain of why they're there themselves. "We missed Logan." he says uncomfortably. "James stopped by the rink yesterday and asked us if-"

"James?" The whole hockey team really is there. James included. Kendall quickly smooths over the confused look on his face and nods. "Yeah, sorry about that." he tells them all. "I've been meaning to have you all over, but things have been pretty crazy around here."

They don't believe him. But Chris merely shrugs his shoulders and then turns to Logan. "Hey, Logan!" he says cheerfully. "What's up?"

Logan stares back at him without blinking. "Um, hi?"

It could not possibly be more awkward. Kendall intervenes. "Logan, this is the rest of the hockey team. Chris, Jason, Drew, Matt, Jack, Tyler."

Logan nods slowly, looking carefully at each face as Kendall introduces him. "We played hockey together." he says, like he doesn't know if it should be a question or a statement. "Um, have I known you as long as James, Carlos, and Kendall?"

Chris is the only one able to answer. The others are still recovering from the shock of how bad things are. He laughs a little and shakes his head. "No, way you guys go way back." he says admiringly. "Drew and Jack are the only ones who've lived in Minnesota as long as you have. The rest of us have moved here over the years."

"Really?" Logan asks in interest. "Where are you all from?"

"Jason is from Maine, Tyler is from Boston, Matt is from Michigan, and I'm from all over. My dad was in the military and retired a few years ago." Once again, Chris is handling the situation with ease and for a moment, Kendall regrets not having the team over earlier.

Then James ruins it. "So," he says, clapping his hands together to get attention. "ready to go to the rink?"

It's almost as if the temperature in the room drops. Kendall turns and stares. "The rink?" he asks, too shocked to be angry for the moment.

James is completely unfazed. He's the only one. "Yeah." he says like it's the most obvious thing in the world. "Logan spent most of his time at school or one of our houses or the rink."

It's true, but it's also the reason Kendall hasn't had the team over. The rink is where this whole nightmare started and he's not sure how it will go over with any of them. He sure doesn't want to go back there. "I'm not so sure that's a great idea." he tells all of them, looking at James and trying to get through to him.

"Why not?" Logan asks, surprising them all with his voice. "I've been there a lot, right? What I want to know is why haven't we been there before?"

"Kendall is afraid." James blurts out, making Kendall want to punch him. Of course, that might not be the best idea with everyone around.

"I'm not afraid." he argues.

James rolls his eyes, but when he speaks, his voice is strangely gentle. "We all are." he says to Logan. "That's where you got hurt. But still. . . it's a part of you. Just like school and home and our houses."

"James is right, Kendall." says Kendall's mother, her voice strained and stressed. "I think you should go. Maybe not for too long, but just a quick visit. And certainly no hockey."

"Yes!" Carlos cheers. He at least, isn't bothered at all by what they're about to do. He seems thrilled about it actually. At least someone can enjoy it.

Katie has disappeared, probably to her room. "You boys go." Mrs. Knight tells them as she stands too. "Katie and I will stay behind."

Logan stands up and looks expectantly at Kendall. "Ready?" he asks, a hopeful tone in his voice. "This might help me, Kendall."

Kendall sighs. "Okay." he relents, even though it's not really his decision to make. It's pretty obvious that his mother would have made then gone anyway. "Let's go."

The team lets out a cheer that catches the rest of then off guard, but Logan smiles at it. "Don't get your hopes up too high though." he cautions them. "I've been having a lot of trouble. So far the only thing I've been able to remember on my own is the way to Mr. Williams' class."

Chris chuckles. "You would remember that." he teases him. But there's a fear in his eyes that reflects back at everyone else. It makes Kendall feel horrible for not at least warning the team about the gravity of Logan's condition. They only knew the surface problem and had no warning for how deep it ran.

So, they head to the rink, Carlos chattering animatedly about their history as a team together. James' presence makes him feel better, Kendall notices. Even if there's still an obvious tension in the air. They're all together and that must be enough for Carlos. Kendall can't really blame him. As much as he and Kendall have been at odds, it's still better to have him here than away.

"Logan," Tyler says as they walk. "How are you feeling otherwise?"

Logan thinks carefully about his answer. "Okay." he begins slowly. "It's really frustrating not knowing anything or anyone. I mean, I know how to do basic things like read and write and everything, but the only memories I have start when I woke up in the hospital." He sighs. "And even those get pretty blurry unless I concentrate."

"Really?" Tyler asks as Kendall draws in a sharp breath. "Is that normal?"

"From what the doctor said, I could have trouble with my short term memory. He suggested that to help me with the past and present, I repeat names and places. You're Tyler, right?" Tyler nods and Logan looks pathetically pleased.

Kendall is actually relieved when they reach the rink because by then even Chris is starting to look freaked out by Logan's behavior. They need something to occupy their time other than Logan mixing up their names and asking again which ones moved to Minnesota. "Here we are!" he announces, throwing the front door open.

There aren't that many people there thankfully. Kendall is surprised however when they're greeted almost right away by their coach, Tom Jordan. "Coach!" he says, eyes darting as usual to Logan.

"Is he our coach?" Logan whispers to Carlos who gives a quick nod.

"Logan, how are you?"

For someone who's been asked that question so many times, Logan handles it fairly well. His smile is stiff, but then again, maybe that's because he's been confronted yet again by someone who is only a stranger to him. "I'm okay, Coach. . ."

"Jordan." the man replies unflinchingly.

"Coach Jordan." Logan repeats. "Thanks for asking."

In no time at all, they wind up at the rink itself. In the players' box as a matter of fact. For such a fairly large group of teenage guys and their coach, it's very quiet as they stare out across the ice. Kendall shudders and looks around to see that everyone else probably feels the same as he does.

He can practically see it happening all over again. Logan being pursued by his assailant and he, Kendall, being unable to help him. He was in the penalty box because he couldn't keep his mouth shut. If he-

"Kendall?" Logan ventures. When he sees he has his brother's attention, he lowers his voice, somehow knowing that Kendall won't appreciate the attention. "You don't blame yourself for what happened to me, are you?"

In spite of himself, Kendall's breath catches in his throat. He turns to stare at Logan, the blank look in his friend's brown eyes still haunting him. There's something different about his expression this time though. He doesn't know Kendall as he's always knows him, but. . . it's difficult to describe. He knows Kendall is blaming himself. Kendall hasn't said anything out loud but he still knows. There's a reason.

"Kendall?"

He hasn't even realized that he's crying until he feels Logan's tentative hand on his shoulder. Rather than comforting like he thought it would, it brings him even closer to breaking down completely. "Logan," he whispers. "If I-"

"You told me what happened." Logan says quietly. "It doesn't sound like it was your fault to me. You just- you weren't there, but even if you were do you think you would have been able to stop him?"

How does Kendall tell him that that's exactly what he's supposed to do? Stop the people who are trying to hurt the ones he loves. He sighs shakily and looks over at Logan, aching to see the familiar concern rather than the natural concern Logan has for anyone. "I would have at least tried." he says, so much regret in his voice that he watches Logan's eyes fill with sudden tears.

"Don't cry." Logan chokes out. He bites his lip and looks around. "Maybe you were right, Kendall. Maybe we shouldn't have come here. Not for me, but for you. It's hurting you."

He wants to go home. He wants to go home so bad. He feels like a baby, but he doesn't really care. "Maybe we should go." he whispers.

Logan nods and looks around. He leans over to Carlos and whispers something. Then Carlos starts to pass it down and without another word, one by one, they start to file out of the rink. "Better?" Logan asks as they step back out into the sunshine.

Kendall is so far from okay that it's not close to being funny. He's not about to tell Logan that though. He still has the twisted advantage of Logan not being able to tell if he's lying.

"Logan?" Chris asks as they walk away. "I don't think I've ever asked you this. . . but did your dad ever play hockey?"

Kendall stops walking so fast that Logan runs into him. No, no, no, no, why? They almost made it back home without any mention of Logan's dad. He meets James' eyes just in time to see him smile. "You planned this." he says angrily. "You told Chris to mention Logan's dad, didn't you?"

James' smile fades."You really think I would go behind your back like that?" he asks incredulously. "Kendall, I don't agree with what you're doing, but that doesn't mean I'm going to work against you. We're going to work together or not at all. It's the only way we're going to be able to help Logan." He looks over at Logan who is busy explaining to Chris that he doesn't remember his dad at all. "I'm not about to stop a "mistake" though."

Kendall's anger surges and he strides ahead to catch up to Logan and Chris. "Let's go." he says, taking Logan's arm. "We have to go. Chris, guys, thanks for your help, but it didn't work obviously. We'll see you guys around, okay?" He ignores everyone who is asking him what the problem is and keeps walking. Carlos is following them and looking very much alarmed. Unfortunately, James is right behind him. He's no longer worried about him. He's only angry at him. So angry that it scares him. He's afraid what will happen when they get home and he loses the control he's been holding onto so tightly.

A/N. I hope you all have a wonderful Memorial Day weekend! Love you!