Thank you so much guys for your responses. Love you all so much.

A.N.: As you'll know it's Eid this weekend so I'll be super busy with Eid and preps so there will not be an update over the weekend. InshAllah will post next chapter on Mon. On this note.. Eid Mubarak guys and enjoy the chapter Five.

Lost: Chapter Five - Lonely

'I wish Nakul you knew it wasn't a dream but a reality.' ACP sighs heavily, but this entry was not just an ordinary entry, it made him realize how much he meant to Nakul, how much Nakul yearned for attention. ACP could feel the excitement, happiness he was feeling from the dream, if he knew it was real Nakul would be over the moon. 'Only if I had shown my affection more often' ACP thinks.

After this entry the next entry was the same one which he read first which was posted on: 29/Jul/2010. ACP turned to next page as he could not read this entry again. The next entry in the diary wasn't until Oct/2010; Nakul surely wasn't consistent in writing the diary which made ACP curious he wondered what would've happening with Nakul in the missing months.

4/10/2010

'I feel so lonely tonight, not that it's uncommon. I feel lonely almost all the time but tonight it is different. I don't know how or why but it is different kind of loneliness. I miss you mum so much, I just wish you were here with me right now. Even dad is not home tonight he is gone for some work conference in Delhi. It's not the first time he has gone for 2-3 days but tonight I feel so alone knowing even dad's not here tonight. Mum why did you go away like this? I miss you a lot, I want you right now, want to be with you. Dad is like an invisible figure, him being here, not being here is pretty much the same thing most of the times. You are not going to believe this but I feel like crying so much. Not like usual cry but feel like wailing. My heart is feels so heavy right now, this burden on my heart is killing me, can't even breathe properly. I just want to cry all out. I wish I could lie in your lap mum and cry as much as I want, as loudly as I can. I...'

After this nothing was written, it seemed like Nakul tried to write it but was not able to because of his emotional breakdown. ACP did not needed to be told what happened next, he knew exactly happened next. ACP gets up from the sofa chair and moves towards the room's closed door, ACP kneels down in front of the door, 'this is where he sat and cried for hours, isn't it?' his mind questions him. ACP moves his hand on the floor, gently feeling it, where Nakul was sitting that night. Actually where he often used to sit when he wanted to cry, ACP remembers when Nakul was young boy sometimes he used to get scolding's from his father, he would run up to his room, lock it and kneel down against the door for hours and cry or sometimes just sits there quietly. ACP sits down with his back resting on the door, diary in one hand and with other hand resting on the floor trying to feel Nakul's essence there. ACP doesn't know what happened that particular night which made Nakul breakdown like this but he was sure that somehow it was his fault. This time ACP does not hold back his emotions, with every remaining emotion in him he calls out his son. "Nakul!" He shouts his name with such emotions that any living person who would hear it will break into million pieces like a glass. An hour pass by and ACP stays in the same position, he never felt so lost, so hopeless in his life ever before. He is completely exhausted both mentally and physically, this night is not being easy on him. Finally his gaze moves towards the diary once again, flicks to the next page of the diary. The next entry wasn't until December 2010.

27/12/10

'Another year is almost done, though not much different from previous ones. Gosh it is going to be New Year in few days. There is absolutely nothing which I can say was amazing about this year except from the two new tunes I have been working on this year. My music is the only good thing that ever happened to me. I can already tell what will happen next, dad will say he will not be working on New Year then he will end up working on New Year, rather end up spending New Year with his Daya & Abhijeet. But this time I will not expect any wishes or any kind of attention from him. I will not have any expectations from him. I tried, I tried to get his attention, to make him listen to me but same thing happened he didn't had time for me yet again. I wonder if ever in this life he will have time for me. Ever?'

ACP inhales sharply as he finishes reading this passage. 'Another year I wasted... another opportunity I lost to know my son, to love him.' ACP was beginning to understand Nakul's behaviour, his attitude, he was doing all of that only to get his father's attention, he hoped ACP would notice this, understand it but unfortunately this never happened. Instead of talking to Nakul, understanding him all ACP did was yell at him, question him, treat him like he was standing in court.

'ACP only believes what his eyes shows him, he only look at proof not at the person, not at the relation, not at the heart... the trust, it's nowhere.'ACP remembers the passage from Nakul's first entry he read in diary, now he understood perfectly why Nakul wrote that. Unknowingly ACP was treating his son like any other suspects, any other person he never treated Nakul as son.

"No matter how many times I say sorry it is not going to turn the time back. I don't know if you hear this or not, I am truly sorry for treating you like this, ignoring you for so long. I'm very sorry." ACP says to his son while staring at his big poster picture behind the bed. He turns to next page but finds it empty; he flicks through another one that is empty too. Then he turns to next page and finds a small entry.

1/1/11

'Happy New Year, lonely boy; once again you are proven right. Another new year without dad. But I don't know why I keep having this feeling that this year will be different than others. Don't know how but it will be different. After a long time I feel hopeful tonight, strange right? I know.'

It also makes ACP more curious, he wants to know whether Nakul's feeling came true or not and he turns to page to read the next entry.

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Enjoy!