A/N. Hi! I went to see Big Time Rush on Friday and it was AMAZING. The best part was running into my soulmate Lauren. I knew she was going to be there but we had no plans to meet up, and I wound up standing behind her in line for food. Then we were like ALDKFGSLGKRLGWE and we hugged and this was just after she met the boys and hugged Kendall and Logan, so I got a Kenganren hug which is the best ever. ANYWAY, read on.

Kendall doesn't want to move and break the peaceful silence that has settled over him and Logan. Logan's head is heavy on his shoulder and he's breathing deeply, so Kendall is pretty sure that he's asleep. It seems like ages since Logan was this relaxed and the last thing Kendall wants to do is break up the moment. He'd much rather cherish it for as long as he possibly can. Forever.

But all good things have to, temporarily at least, come to an end. And it's really not that terrible the more Kendall thinks about it. As of now, he's the only one who's aware of Logan's memory starting to return. Though there's a part of him that selfishly relishes in the fact that he was the first and is still the only one to know, Kendall knows it isn't fair to everyone else. He wouldn't like to be kept in the dark.

So, a little reluctantly, Kendall smooths his fingers through Logan's hair one last time and lets his hand trail all the way down his brother's back. "Logie," he whispers softly.

Logan stirs and sits up very slowly. Kendall stares intently at him, holding his breath as he watches the younger boy look around in sleepy confusion. At least he's praying that it's only sleepy confusion.

Logan stops looking around when he meets Kendall's worried gaze. Blinking hard at him, his eyes focus and he smiles. "Hi, Kendall."

The warmth and recognition in his voice chase away Kendall's fears. He hugs him gently. "Hi, Logie. Have a nice nap?"

Logan's face flushes with a little color, but he nods. "I had a dream," he tells Kendall a little hesitantly. "About the day we first met."

Kendall sits up straighter, hope flaring up inside his chest. "Oh?" he asks, trying to appear calm. "What did you dream?"

"Just what you told me. But I remember that it was this finger." He takes a hold of Kendall's right wrist and points to the index finger. A frown crosses his face an instant later and there's a note of distress in his voice when he speaks again. "Kendall, your hand!"

"Oh," Kendall says again, hardly noticing his injured hand. Logan remembering which finger he had hurt when they were five. . . it seems like such a small detail, but it's really not. "Yeah, I forgot about that?"

Logan is kneeling by his side now, cradling the bruised and swollen hand gently in both of his hands. "What did you do?" he asks, sounding appalled. "Punch a wall?"

Kendall laughs before he can think better of it. "Yeah," he admits sheepishly. "Earlier today when. . . when I said what I did to you about your dad."

He falls silent, waiting for Logan's reaction. But all he gets is a scolding look from his brother as he continues to inspect it. "Sorry," Kendall offers after a while.

"Come on," Logan sighs, standing up and reaching for Kendall's good hand to pull him to his feet. "I'll get my first aid kit out. Can you move it?"

Kendall nods and then demonstrates. It hurts to flex his fingers and his wrist, but not too much. "See?" he says as Logan indicates to his desk chair. "It's not too bad."

"Just sit down," Logan mutters as he retrieves his first aid kit from his closet. "It may not be broken, but that's a pretty bad gash and the bruising is nasty too. You're lucky that it stopped bleeding, otherwise you'd need stitches."

Kendall grimaces. He's the exact opposite of Logan when it comes to anything medical related. "But I don't need stitches, right?" he asks hopefully.

Logan shakes his head as he carefully starts to clean the gash. "Nope, you're good. I wouldn't make a habit out of punching walls though. There are better ways to release stress and anger."

"Worked pretty well for the Hulk."

"Yeah well, you're Spiderman," Logan's grin falls flat and he sobers up. "Seriously, Kendall. Don't ever hurt yourself on my account again."

"Mhm," Kendall drops his gaze.

Logan rolls his eyes, but looks more upset than annoyed. He's quiet as he finishes cleaning the wound and then sets about wrapping it. "We'll go down and get ice when I'm done here," he tells Kendall. "I don't want it to swell anymore."

"Thanks," Kendall smiles and stands up. He takes a deep breath and waits for Logan to finish putting everything away. "Ready?"

"I think so," Logan breathes, looking slightly nervous. "Um, what are we going to say?"

We. Kendall smiles and wraps his arm around ligand shoulders. "We'll figure it out."

"Figure what out?"

They both jump at the sound of Katie's voice. Turning, they see her standing in the doorway of Logan's room, looking confused. Under his arm, Kendall can feel Logan tense up and he gives his brother's shoulder a quick, reassuring squeeze. "Hey, Katie-" he starts to say.

But Katie cuts them off with a gasp and suddenly flies into the room, slowing down just in time so she doesn't crash into them. She throws her arms around Logan and holds him tightly. Instantly a storm breaks lose inside of her and she starts to cry hard.

"Whoa, Katie!" Logan cries out in alarm. He holds her up enough so he can stagger over the his bed and sit down with her. "Hey, baby sister," he says gently. "What's wrong?"

Kendall can only look on, completely stunned. Logan's motions and words come naturally and comfortably. It's like the real Logan was never gone. He's slipped flawlessly back into his role as Katie's second big brother. The only lingering shadow is that he can't tell why she's crying, when to Kendall, it's blatantly obvious. She knows.

She must of known the second she looked into the room and saw them. For the weeks while Logan was lost and confused, he kept his distance and was quiet. He didn't like contact of any kind so seeing Kendall with his arm around Logan must have clicked things instantly for Katie.

"Katie, what's wrong?" Logan asks again, smoothing her dark brown hair away from her face and out of her eyes. "Hey, look at me. Don't cry!"

But his words only make Katie cry harder. She hugs Logan tightly, choking out two words incoherently over and over again. Neither boy can really understand her, but Kendall has a pretty good idea of what she's saying away.

Logan eventually gives up on getting her to calm down and winds up rocking her back and forth, murmuring comforting words in her ear that Kendall can't quite catch. He sits next to them and lays his hand flat on Katie's back. Rubbing it gently, he leans over and whispers in Logan's ear, "She's crying because she knows."

Realization lights up Logan's eyes. "Oh!" he exclaims sounding almost comical even over the sound of Katie crying. "Katie, don't cry, please. It's okay. I'm okay."

"You're back," Katie finally manages to say. She pulls away just enough to see his eyes. "You remember."

Logan gives her the tiniest of smiles. "Yeah," he says, tears filling his eyes. "I do remember. Not everything, but-"

Katie hugs him again. "I don't care if you don't remember everything. You remember us, right?"

"Right," Logan replies softly. He holds her close and glances at Kendall questioningly. Kendall can tell he's wondering if they need to call their mother in. He wonders too, but the emotions are running high and the last thing they need is another breakdown right now. One at a time is all they can manage.

Watching Logan and Katie interact, Kendall becomes fairly sure that his brother has it all under control. Now that he knows the reason for Katie's tears, he's calm and gentle, being just what she needs.

Slowly, but surely, Katie's sobs begin to slow until she's merely hiccuping into Logan's shoulder. Her breathing is still a little shaky, but when she lifts her head, she's smiling. "How?"

Kendall is caught off guard by the rush of guilt that hits him at Katie's question. He feels Logan's eyes on him too and can sense his worry and confusion. Taking a deep breath, he forces a smile and says, "Honestly, I think Logan can tell you best," he tries to say lightly. "One minute I was ranting and then next-"

"You were telling me about my dad," Logan says softly. He completely misses the wide eyed look that Katie gives Kendall and goes on. "And it suddenly just clicked. At first it wasn't any specific memory. All I remembered was all of those times when my dad let me down and you stepped in to take his place."

It's a good thing that Logan is still looking at Kendall, because the emotions on Katie's face are betraying her. Kendall can only see his guilt mirrored back at him through his little sister's eyes and it kills him on the inside. This is his fault she's feeling like this. The whole thing was his idea and while it's acceptable for him to suffer, it's never acceptable for Katie to suffer.

Katie shakes her head and abruptly jumps to her feet. A mask is up and it's a good one because part of it is real, honest excitement. "Come on!" she urges joyfully. "Let's go tell Mom and then call everyone."

As they leave the room, Kendall sees for the first time how much of Logan is still absent. Before the accident, he'd have been able to see straight through Kendall and Katie and their acts. Now, Kendall is almost, painfully certain that he doesn't even notice. Maybe that's a good thing for now though.

"Mom!" Katie calls. She grabs tightly to Logan's hand and tugs him down the stairs. "Hey, Mom! Guess what! Logan-"

Kendall almost rams right into Logan when he and Katie stop too suddenly. Panicked, he throws his hands out and needlessly steadies the younger boy. "Katie!" he exclaims, letting out a breath. "What-"

But then he stops because he sees. Logan and Katie have stopped directly in their tracks and are staring at their mother. She's crying. Kendall's heart freezes momentarily as it tries to process along with his brain what is happening right now.

He can count on one hand the number of times he's seen his mother cry like this. The first was after Logan's mother died, the second was when his dad left, and. . . Kendall can't think of another time. Now.

"Mom,"

He looks to see Logan ease past Katie and go to his mother. He looks shocked, but not too shocked like Kendall and Katie. There was always a part of Logan, an incredibly selfless part that enabled him to look past all of his feelings no matter how strong, and reach out to those around him.

Kendall takes a step closer and draws her into his arms. He doesn't want to leave, but he knows that this moment is for Logan and his mother alone. And by alone, that means Kendall is going to stay in the room and observe but not intervene. Logan is fine. He can handle this. It's Logan.

"Mom?" Logan's voice shakes as he approaches her. He pulls over another kitchen stool and sits next to her. Kendal can just see a small pile of pictures in front of her on the counter and his throat starts to close up.

"Mom," Logan is saying again. He gently pries one of the pictures out of her shaking hands and tries to get her attention. "Mommy, please don't cry."

It's the mommy that catches her attention at last. No surprise either since Kendall distinctly remembers Logan accidentally calling her that when he was only seven. It's more than that though. Kendall isn't a parent yet, but he isn't stupid either. He knows that the names "Mommy" and "Daddy" have a special note in them that "Mom" and "Dad" lack. It's a vulnerable and childish note that wakes up the best part of the best kind of parents.

Their mother looks up, startled by the sound of Logan using her name like that. She gently cups his face between her hands, her motherly instinct for the well being of her distressed child trumping her own pain. "Logan," she asks quietly. "What is it, baby?"

Logan's bottom lip trembles until he manages to catch it between his teeth. A lone tear slides down his face and Kendall can see him struggling to speak.

But seconds later, he doesn't need to speak. Kendall can see the moment when their mother see the recognition in Logan's teary brown eyes. Her breath catches in her throat and she carefully strokes Logan's face, wiping away the tear there. "Logan?" she asks, hardly daring to hope.

Logan reaches up with one shaking hand and places it over her hand. He squeezes it and gives her a shaky smile. "I love you," he whispers before leaning forward and wrapping his arms around her.

Then she's crying again and so is Logan. Next to him Katie is tearing up and looking longingly over at her big brother and mother. Kendall's eyes feel itchy and irritated, but he doesn't want to start all over again.

He almost gets full control again. Then Logan, after being smothered in kisses, sits up and glances curiously at the pictures that are in front of him, and he grins. "Look," he says, holding up a picture of them when they were fourteen. "Our first Christmas as a real family."

Then Katie runs over to see better and climbs into Logan's lap. And Kendall, left alone, follows her. Leaning over Logan, he rests his chin on Logan's shoulder, laughing when Logan tries to duck away because it tickles. "Let me see."

Logan passes him the picture and they all look at it. Kendall looks at the fourteen year old version of himself and thinks how he used to think he'd never feel that happy over something over again. He had a new brother and it was his best friend. Surely nothing could top that.

He's wrong. Kendall sets aside the picture, not even bothering to try and blink away the tears this time. Because today, right now, he feels exactly the same way that he did when he and Logan were fourteen and spending their first Christmas together as a real, official family. Not because he has a new brother, but because he has his brother back. His family is whole once more.

Dinner starts out uncomfortably quiet. James and Carlos can both clearly sense that something is up, but since no one is offering to tell them, they're only afraid of what it might be.

Kendall observes his friends as they eat. James has hardly touched his food, and Carlos has been twirling pasta around his fork then sticking it in his mouth and chewing it for longer than is necessary. His left foot thumps against his chair leg in a steady rhythm. They're both nervous.

Logan is staring at them, hardly eating himself. His fingers tap nervously on the table, but cease immediately when his mother looks questioningly at him. Catching Kendall's eye, he clears his throat, apparently ready to say something. "So, Kendall, I was-"

"Kendall," James says at the same time. Realizing he's interrupted Logan, he turns bright red, but doesn't pause. He's too wound up to do that. "What happened to your hand?"

Kendall looks down at his bandaged hand. "Oh," he says in surprise. "I forgot about that. I uh, punched a wall."

James' eyebrows shoot up and Carlos stops chewing. Automatically, their eyes stray from Kendall to Logan. "Were you going to say something, Logan?" Carlos asks.

Logan glances at Kendall for support, chewing nervously on his bottom lip. Before inviting James and Carlos over for dinner, they all talked about what they would say to them and break the news. They never found a solution and Logan finally gave up, saying that he'd wing it. But they've been at the table for ten minutes now and Logan has hardly said anything.

"Kendall, I was wondering. . ." he finally begins. "I mean, I was thinking about it. . ."

"What?" Kendall asks, just as confused as everyone else. He has no idea where Logan is going with this.

"Playing hockey again," Logan mumbles, eyes on his plate and fingers resuming their nervous tapping.

Kendall's fork hits his plate with a clatter. He can sense James and Carlos and Katie are staring between him and Logan and their mother. "Wha-" he chokes out before shaking his head violently. "Logan, no. Absolutely not. There is no way that I'm letting you get back out on the ice ever again. Not after what happened to you."

Logan scowls. "You can't forbid me from doing it if I really want to," he says under his breath.

Leaning forward, Kendall forces Logan to meet his gaze and then says, "Watch me."

"Mom!" Logan protests, his eyes darting over to James and Carlos. "Kendall can't tell me what to do, can he? He's only three months older than me."

Kendall hears James choke on his water and Carlos stops hitting the chair leg with his foot. Quickly, he bites back a grin. He knows now exactly what Logan is up to. "Three months is still older," he shoots back. "Besides, I'm-"

"Three inches taller," Logan says at the same time.

Kendall can't hide his grin and he leans back, folding his arms over his chest as he watches and waits. "Three months older and three inches taller," he says smugly. "That makes me-"

"My big brother," Logan finishes smoothly. "Well, there are certainly worse things in life."

"Hang on," Carlos breaks into the banter, looking lost. He's on his feet now and clutching the back of his chair for support. "What's going on?"

"I-"

"Do you have your memory back?" Carlos yells so loud that they all jump, even James, who until now has looked completely frozen.

Logan offers him half a grin. "Sort of," he says slowly. "Not all of it, or even most of it. But I remember you."

Carlos leans over the table to stare directly at Logan. "You remember us," he repeats, his face only inches from Logan.

Suddenly shy, Logan backs off a little bit and nods. "Yeah," he says quietly.

There's a beat of silence and then James whoops and shoots to his feet. He throws his arms around Logan and lifts his feet of the ground. Kendall's mouth drops open to cry out a panicked protest, but before he can suck enough air into his lungs, James is already setting safely back down on his feet.

"You remember!" Carlos cheers, clamoring over Kendall to fit himself between Logan and James. "Logan, you really remember! Kendall, does he really?" At Kendall's nod, the younger boy lets out another victorious whoop and hugs Logan.

"When?" James demands, his eyes starting to fill. "How? Why didn't you call us and tell us sooner?"

"I'm sorry! I just-" Logan throws his hands up in the air, looking frustrated. "I didn't know what or how or-"

"It's fine, Logan," James interrupts quickly. "It doesn't matter. All the matters is that you remember and-" he cuts himself off and tugs both Logan and Carlos into his arms.

"I'm sorry," Logan apologizes again when he realizes that both of his friends are crying. "Maybe I should have just told you. I thought that if I-"

"Logie, shhhhhhh," James says softly. "The way you told us was perfect, okay?"

Carlos laughs a little and says, "Yeah, you don't know how good it was to see you and Kendall pick up right where you left off like that. It was exactly like old times." He grind broadly at Logan who still looks uncertain. "I love the way you told us, Logie. It was the best surprise ever."

"Okay, good, I'm glad." Logan sighs in relief

Kendall relaxes as they all sit down. "How are you holding up, Logan?" he asks quietly. "It's been a long day."

Logan nods. "Yeah, it has, and I'm a little tired to be honest. But I'm okay. Promise."

"So, Logie," Carlos begins, glancing over at Kendall. "Can you tell us what you remember, or are you too tired?"

Logan shakes off the concern and immediately starts talking about what he remembers. It's almost painful to see how proud he is of himself as he tells James and Carlos about his ninth birthday party, but it's also wonderful.

Kendall watches James and Carlos listen to Logan, hanging onto every single word he says. He exchanges smiles with his mother and Katie. He's emotionally exhausted too, but at the same time he's very pumped up. Today has been one of the best days of his entire life and he doesn't want it to end. He wants the moment to last forever.

Katie nudges him gently and he turns his gaze on her. She leans close, and over the sound of James and Carlos and Logan laughing at the memory of the failed surprise party, she says, "Logan's birthday is next week."

Kendall's jaw actually drops open in astonishment. Where has the time gone? In the midst of the chaotic aftermath of Logan's accident, they've already forgotten about Kendall and James turning seventeen. Now, in five days, Logan will turn seventeen and they have nothing planned.

Then again, Kendall thinks as he listens to James telling Logan about how they spent his twelfth birthday spent playing laser tag, maybe they do.

A/N. i'll have a lot of time to myself this Tuesday through Thurday, so if I don't waste that time goofing off, then I should be able to write quite a bit. Wish me luck! Thank you for reading, and I hope that you all have a wonderful week!