A/N:

Disclaimer: I love them, but I don't own them. Many thanks to all the folks at CSI, especially JF and WP, for all the amusement they have given me.

Rating: Mature T, for adult situations and very occasional salty language. No violence.

Spoilers: I refer to various events taking place up to the end of "Leapin' Lizards" (07x22).

AO3 version: This story is also being posted on AO3. The cover art is being posted on Tumblr.

In this first chapter, the story jumps forward to the end of 2006, but it will return to 2005 in the second chapter.

Summary (in part):

Sara Sidle was Gil Grissom's fantasy. That much was obvious. Sara Sidle and Gil Grissom were in fact already sleeping together. Should that have been obvious? No one else seemed to figure it out, except maybe that shrewd detective Jim Brass.

Gil Grissom took a month-long sabbatical to teach a course at Williams College (all the way over on the East Coast, in Massachusetts) on the seasonal behaviors of the Walden Pond swamp mosquito. Gil Grissom probably did not communicate with Sara Sidle about this as well as he should have. (They were living together, for goodness' sake.) Sara Sidle was understandably bummed. But then she wasn't.

December 2006. Las Vegas, Nevada.

He knew he needed to tell her. He would tell her the next day—always the next day. He most definitely needed to tell her. It wasn't going to get any better if he put it off. It was going to happen, and he couldn't exactly just have her wake up one day and find him gone.

If she just woke up one day and found him gone… she'd think he'd left her or something. Well, she probably wouldn't think that, since all his stuff and their dog would still be there, and Ecklie or Catherine (whom he still hadn't told either) would explain things as soon as she got to the lab. She would most certainly be pissed, though—maybe her deciding to leave him pissed.

The thing was… he should have told her before he'd made the decision. He knew she'd support him. She always supported him. The thing was… he was afraid she would think it was about her. It was not about her. It was most definitely not about her. It was about everything but her.

Okay, maybe it was about her, but only in the sense that he didn't want whatever was going on with him (this professional burnout, or whatever it was) to affect their relationship, to affect her. In that sense, it was not so much about her as it was for her. He wanted to be able to explain that to her. Yet somehow, when faced with having difficult conversations with her, he almost always found himself at a loss for words.

Other people would probably be surprised at how much she put him at a loss for words. (Okay, Catherine wouldn't be surprised. Catherine had been there all those years ago when he'd had to order the plant.) Other people would probably be surprised they were in a long-term relationship. (Catherine would definitely be surprised about that.) Other people would probably be surprised they had a dog together. (The dog, a boxer named Hank, had originally been Grissom's, but he was now most definitely their dog. Grissom suspected the dog now preferred Sara. Grissom wouldn't blame him. Grissom preferred Sara to everyone else, too.) Other people would probably be surprised the dog was named Hank. Other people would probably be surprised they all lived together….

Okay, other people were not the current problem. The current problem was him. The current problem was he still had not told her. He really needed to tell her today, except he would wait until tomorrow because he still hadn't figured out the right way to tell her. He needed the right way to tell her. He should have told her before he'd made the decision.

Shit. He was in trouble.

UP NEXT: NEXT CHAPTER: SUMMER TO FALL 2005. LAS VEGAS, NEVADA.

NOTES

On that shrewd detective, Jim Brass:

I wrote a footnote on what "juicy" information Brass may have had in "The Good, the Bad and the Dominatrix" (07x23). But this is an introductory chapter of about 500 words, and the footnote was about 1500 words, and that seemed a little disproportionate. So I posted it as meta on Tumblr instead. You can find it on my account (same username: hollygl125) with the hashtags "survivors in the night: a las vegas love story" and "my thoughts and feelings on the two lovely science nerds."

In summary, I think Brass had to know something was going on between Sara and Grissom, or else he wasn't a very good detective. I think he would have stopped himself before saying anything to Catherine, though.

EPISODE REFERENCE(S)

(Pre-)07x11. "Leaving Las Vegas." Original air date: January 4, 2007.