Chapter 10 – You made your bed, now lie in it.
"Damon, it's me."
To say Damon was shocked would be an understatement. Hearing the silence at the end of the line, Elena repeated herself, "Damon, it's me Elena."
"I know it's you. I would recognize your voice anywhere Elena. You really has not lost the skill to surprise me huh? Calling after a whole month and me who thought you had some form of amnesia, forgetting all about our family…" Damon used a sharp sarcastic tone, ignoring the slight feeling of joy he still felt on hearing her voice. He would not let her hurt him more, he thought.
His words cut through her like a sharp knife. It hurt to hear him say those words but she felt anger deep inside. "You know well I have not forgotten anything Damon. I told you why I was leaving. Don't turn this on me." Hell, this was not the way she thought that phone call would be. The moment these words came out of her mind, she knew she had again made another mistake.
"Don't turn this on you? Hell ELENA, YOU DON'T GET TO TELL ME WHAT TO DO! You call after weeks of silence and you expect what? That I would be all soft and kind over you? What now? Huh? Are you going to blame me too for YOU leaving OUR kids without even a proper goodbye? Without an explanation? Hell, you did not even try to allow us to sort things out together! You fucking left on your own! So go ahead, blame me as much as you want, but it is you not me who walked out on our family." Damon spat out angrily. He had kept all these inside of him since she had left, all the tension, the pain he kept inside so well because he had to be strong for the ache her choice had caused his two children.
"Damon… Just please I know you're bitter and angry. Please just let me talk to them. I need it please." Elena pleaded on the phone. She had so much to tell him but she knew he would not understand. He was too angry and bitter and though she was in pain, she knew he had every right to be. But she wanted to speak to her kids. She needed to hear them and she silently prayed Damon would not refuse her that.
"Damon, please put them on."
"When are you coming back?" was all Damon answered back.
"Damon don't do this. Not now. I don't know. I have, I need to figure myself out please, let me talk to them! They are my kids too!" Elena begging turning into an incomprehensive anger.
"You leave without saying anything to them. Just some stupid piece of paper, you don't call, don't write NOTHING for a whole month. You don't even know if you'll be coming back home! And you want to speak to them? To say what Elena? WHAT? What will you tell them when they'll ask you when they'll see you again? You want to talk to them? They've cried themselves to sleep nights after nights asking for you! And I just stood there powerless because you dear wife, decided to run! So no. You don't get to remember you have 2 children after all this time and decide you need to talk to them. I will not let you break our children more! So while you "figure yourself out", I'll repair the damages you've done here." Damon practically yelled on the phone.
He heard the muffled sobs of Elena and though he cringed at that noise he hated to hear, he had let his anger get the best of him.
"And Elena, yes I have my share of guilt in the damages of our marriage, but you were the one to give up on us." Damon hanged up the phone.
Elena felt her heart constrict as she swallowed each word of his last sentence. "You were the one to give up on us"…
His words echoed incessantly in her mind. Her tears fell heavily, realization dawning on her. She never wanted that. That was not why she had left! She never ever wanted that but yet, it was all her fault. She had broken him. She had broken him and she had destroyed their lives. She had destroyed their family. At least that was what she made him feel and that was enough to break her.
She had blamed him for the past weeks yet all he had done was try to mend the wounds she had caused. She had made her children cry. What kind of mother did that? They hated her and she deserved it.
What had she done? Elena was less and less sure of what she had done. She did not belong here! She looked around that hotel room and suddenly felt estranged. How could she think that going away from them, from him would save them? She needed to get home, wanted to go home. But how would she go home when all that was left there was hatred for her?
"I've created my own hell by leaving your side Damon", she thought, exhausted and broken.
She blankly took out her phone and typed in before pushing the sent button. This was her last chance to make things right or at least, to make them right as much as possible. She stared at her phone, praying that he would still care a little for her…enough to reply.
"I love you; I never stopped. We need to talk." Damon read the message, a frown forming on his forehead.