The Boring Misadventures of Craig and Co.

Misadventure 3: Long Day

Suggestion by SupremeBoredom

Tweek's P.O.V

I always knew my friends were out to get me. But to suggest something as cruel as this? I knew they liked bullying me sometimes, but Jesus, this time it just reached an entirely new level.

"C'mon Tweek! It won't be so bad!" I'm probably making a scary face, because Clyde immediately backs away from me as he says that.

Won't be so bad? WON'T BE SO BAD? My 'friends' are basically taking away the one thing that keeps me going through the day! I needed coffee. I had over 7 cups of coffee a day! My body was too used to having it in my system! What if I die because I can't have any? Oh god, I'll die won't I? I'll die in my sleep because I didn't have coffee to keep me awake and the gnomes will come during their nightly raid and they'll notice I'm dead and take me with them to feed my remains to THEIR SATANIC GOD AS SACRAFICE. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!

Something shakes my whole body, and I jump up and cling to the nearest thing screaming my head off.

"Tweek! Calm down!" I somehow manage to hear Token say past my screaming. I abruptly stop to look at him. He's smiling at me, but it's a nervous one. Not his usual calming one I liked so much because it was just so freaking calming. "Uh...Tweek?" I can't help but give him a confused look. "You may want to look who's holding you."

Even more confused now, the first thing I notice is that whatever I'm holding onto is holding me back. My gaze turns to the eyes of Craig Tucker, who is staring at me as I hopelessly cling to his neck. There's a bit more staring involved before I let out a screech and he drops me.

The asshole pretends he didn't just drop me on my ass as he stuffs his hands in his pockets and says, "So. Do you accept?"

I want to just yell at them to go fuck themselves because I'm keeping my goddamned coffee today, but I can't. Every time I reject bets from them Clyde cries or teases me, Token makes this sad face that makes me sad, and Craig just stays all stoic and shit, which really pisses me off.

Besides, if I can miraculously stay coffee free for 24 hours, they said they would go on an all week gnome hunt with me. One day and they would come over at 3:00 am in order to catch those little bastards for one week.

"ACK! Fine! Challenge accepted!" God, please make this worth it.

Craig, Clyde and Token decide to stay at my house the rest of the day and sleep over to keep a good eye on me.

We're already long into this bet. I'm feeling the dumb effects of my withdrawal already. Everyone is feeling it actually. I'm shaking so bad the couch is practically the epicenter of a earthquake. Everyone is crowded at one end of the couch because they can all see I'm irritable and are probably afraid to get rabies.

The only one who'll occasional disrespect my boundaries is Clyde. He keeps fucking poking me. And he thinks it's funny how I stop shaking when he does and start up again when he pulls his finger away. He does it for like an hour before I snap at his finger like I really did have rabies.

Clyde's holding his finger, looking offended at that I just tried to bite it off. "Craaaaig," He whines, scurrying back to other side of the sofa, "Tweek tried to bite me!"

"Good."

He gives a pathetic look toward Token, who only smiles and says, "Well, you really shouldn't mess with Tweek right now, man."

He's right. I must look horrible right now. I'm shaking like crazy. I've been tugging at my hair like a bitch. I'm hugging a pillow and rocking back and forth. My foot is tapping to some imaginary beat. Oh god. I'm must look insane by now. But I have to endure. If they win, they have free access to Tweek Bros. hot chocolate for the rest of the South Park cold front. If they win, dad was going to sell me to Mexican rapists who'll take me down to the border and sell me underground.

"You okay?" I turn to the Craig, who has taken his turn to disrespect my boundaries.

I twitch, and my head snaps to the side. Clyde and Token wince. "ACK! D-Do I look o-okay?"

"...No."

"Th-then don't -GAH!- a-ask!"

Maybe I can just take my chance with the Mexican rapists.

I manage to calm myself a bit when I realize there's soda in the fridge. I hate the concoction with a burning passion, but it was caffeinated. There should be enough to keep me going for an hour or so. I grab a can and head back into the living room. The guys are clearing out the coffee table and sofa so that way we can lay down blankets and pillows to sleep on. We would usually just set up in my room, but Token so kindly suggested that I shouldn't have to worry about the gnomes so much during my coffee withdrawal.

Token greets me with a smile as I walk into the room. I give a small smile back. Hey, just cause I'm irritable doesn't mean I have to be completely unpleasant.

He eyes lock onto the soda and he laughs a bit. "Found a loophole, huh?" That's what I like about Token. He never takes things like this too seriously like Craig and Clyde. They whine and cry and get pissed when they lose. Token just laughs it off, showing good sportsmanship and all that.

I nod and go to open the can.

And one of the reasons I despise soda comes back to me. One moment I'm happily opening my soda, the next I have soda sprayed all over my face.

Every fucking time.

It's silent for few moments. Then Clyde cracks up laughing, rolling all over the floor and blankets like an awesome friend. Even Craig and Token laugh a bit, and I can't help but think they're just artificial friends sent by the government.

Then I do what any person does when facing withdrawal.

I flip the fuck out.

Token P.O.V

If there's one thing I now know about Tweek, it's that when you take his coffee away, his conspiracies go out of control, and his emotions go out of whack.

In just one hour Tweek had managed to call us government spies, gnome spies, worshipers of the gnomes satanic god, some-fucked-up-name-I-couldn't-catch, that Craig was some sort of ninja assassin and Stripe was his partner in crime, and they were both going to kill him, Clyde was gonna get so fat he was just gonna roll over us all with Cartman by his side. He started crying and saying how Clyde and Craig were just a bunch assholes and that I was his only true friend in our group.

I ended up holding him awkwardly in my lap. It didn't help that Clyde and Craig got jealous and did one big, awkward group hug. The hug ended when we all realized the Tweek had fallen asleep.

I was a little surprised, but I guess it made sense. Without coffee, he must have just crashed. I couldn't help but smile as I set him down on the bed sheets and covered him with one of the thinner blankets. Next to me, Craig watched at I tucked Tweek in.

I grin at him and say, "Don't be jealous, Craig." He only flips me off in response. Behind him, Clyde pouts and looks at Tweek's sleeping form.

"We're not getting our hot chocolate, are we?"

A/N: Still taking suggestions. :]