Chapter 19 – Don't go just yet

"Mr. Salvatore? This is Mystic Fall Hospital. Your wife Elena Gilbert-Salvatore just got brought in. She had an accident. You're needed here urgently."

Damon kept pacing back and forth in the Mystic Fall Hospital waiting room. He had called Stefan and Caroline to stay with the kids. His brother had wanted to stay with him at the hospital but Damon had refused. He needed to do this alone.
His wife…His fault…

Elena had been taken into surgery for the past three hours and there he was – miserable, lost and freaking scared. He could not lose her. Not again. He needed her.
He was trying to be strong here but he knew that the strong man wall was wearing thin. The last words he had spoken to her kept ringing through his mind and images of her distraught and hurt by his harsh words. He felt guilty. And the mere thought of her dying was driving him crazy. He would not survive this. He couldn't lose her.

"Mr. Salvatore? I'm doctor Fell. Your wife has just been brought out of surgery. Her condition is still critical though we have done our utmost possible and repair as much damage as we could during surgery. But she has lost a lot of blood. The next 24 hours will be crucial as to whether she will make it or not. You can see her as soon as you're ready."
Damon listened to the doctor's words, fear and anguish written all over his face. Following Dr. Fell, he entered Elena's room.
There she was, with all those machines attached to her and those tubes – keeping her alive.
Damon stood there, watching his angel, the very fiber of his existence laying in that hospital bed, eyes close and he felt a cold terror creep all through his body – The reality of the dreadful picture lying in front of his came crashing on him – He had pushed her away so many times where all he had wanted to do was hold her tight and never let her go and now, he could lose her forever at any moment and there was nothing he could do about it.
As the doctor left the room, Damon approached Elena's bed and sat on the chair next to it. Holding her hand carefully and softly, he pressed a kiss on its palm. Watching his bruised wife fighting between life and death, Damon did not bother holding back his tears anymore. He let his tears flow freely.
"Don't let go. I love you too much to watch you slip away. Don't let go." He begged to an inconscient Elena.

…

"Damon? Damon wake up", said a soft voice. Damon slowly opened his eyes to see Caroline eyeing him worriedly. Quickly, he looked Elena's way hoping to see her awake, only to meet with a still sleeping wife. Damon felt all his fear come back and felt his hope waver away little by little.
"Come on Damon. You should go home, clean yourself up a little bit, have some food and some rest."

"I am not leaving her Caroline!"

"I'll be staying here till you come back. Moreover, the kids have been asking about you. You should really go there and speak to them. Don't be stubborn Damon!"

He knew Caroline was right. He needed to get himself together and speak to the kids about the situation. This was going to be another hard blow for them he thought, frowning deeply.
"Okay, but I'll be back soon. You call if there's anything Blondie".

…

Damon entered his house, hearing a tantrum-like sound coming from William's room.
"No Sophia, you don't get to wear your princess dress for school! William, get ready and stop playing with those damn trucks!"

Damon smiled a little; Stefan was clearly overwhelmed by those two kids of his.
"I got it from here brother. I get it, you can't handle too much of Damon Salvatore's DNA huh?" Damon said, smirking, though the smirk did not reach his eyes as it used to.
Stefan looked at his tired and weary brother, with his disheveled hair.
"You're a mess" was all Stefan said.
"Yeah… So kiddos, I think today can be a no-school day." Damon said, looking at his kids. Sophia's eyes gleamed at her dad's announcement.
"Are we going to spend the day with Mama Daddy?" she asked innocently. Damon looked at his little daughter intensely and felt the same feeling he had felt few weeks ago : he was going to hurt them again…

"Sophia, William come here. There's something I have to tell you." Damon said, sitting down on William's bed.
"It's about you mother…" He started.
He heard William scoffed and his head snapped in his son's direction. He looked at William questioningly.
"What is it Dad? She left us again, right?" William said, as if it was a normal thing.

"NO! William NO! She did not leave us again and you don't get to act like that about your mother. Is that clear?" Damon lashed out at his son.
William's eyes started to fill up with tears and Damon immediately winced at the sight in front of him.
"I-I am sorry son. I didn't mean to shout at you. Your mother loves you and she is not leaving okay? You need to stop being angry at her." Damon said soothingly.
"Last night, something happened. Something bad… Your mom had an accident and was admitted at the hospital."
Damon watched horror creep all over his children's face. It was killing him to know his words were hurting them again. He cursed himself mentally because he knew no matter what he would do, this was a situation he had no control on.
"Is mommy going to die Daddy?" whispered a teary William, who was holding his sister's hand tightly.
"No! No one's going to die okay? Your mother is a very strong person and she IS going to make it through". At this point, Damon did not know if he was trying to convince the kids or himself with those words.
"I want to see her!" said a crying Sophia. Both kids had cuddled in their father's arms and Damon did not bother about being strong at that very moment. He allowed his tears to flow and held his kids tightly against him.
"We'll go see her. We'll go."

…

Stefan tried his best to keep the kids busy while Damon was getting ready to go back to the hospital. It broke his heart knowing his brother was going through all that trials and he promised himself that he would be there for him no matter what, in the same way Damon had always been there for him, no matter what.

"Okay, let's go" Damon said, entering the parlor. Stefan looked at him and nodded. Damon sent a silent thank you to his younger brother. He had basically been the one bringing Stefan up and he was proud of the man his younger brother had become.
Stefan had been there all through the wrong patches he had in life and he knew that right now, his little brother was helping a lot in keeping him altogether.

…

As Damon approached Elena's room with Sophia and William and Stefan just behind, he frowned at the sight of Caroline crying outside the said-room.
Quickly letting go of his kids' hands, Damon rushed towards Caroline and asked her what was going on. There was a crowd of nurses inside and he could see Dr. Fell giving orders and busying himself. He was not being allowed inside.
"Caroline! What happened? What is going on?" asked Damon, distraught and panicking.
"She-She-Her heart- All was okay. I was talking to her hoping she would hear. And all the machines went off. And there was this sound. They said her heart had stopped beating. And they forced me out. I-I am sorry."

Damon's eyes went wide and he felt a rush of pain creep inside his heart. Pushing the door of the room open, not caring if he was infringing the hospital rules and regulations, he rushed to Elena's side and grabbed her hand.
"You don't get to leave me 'Lena! Don't you dare do that! Come back!" He was shouting at this point.
"Mr. Salvatore, you need to get out! We're taking care of her!" but Damon would not have it. He refused to let go of his wife and he looked defiantly at the doctor.
Realizing that he was not going anywhere, nodded to him and went back to Elena. The machines suddenly went back to its normal beeping and Damon watched relief swept its way all over the medical staffs' faces.
"Mr. Salvatore, she is out of danger for now. But we're going to monitor and evaluate her state every 2 hours to make sure all is fine."

Damon let out a breath he didn't know he had been holding. He held onto Elena's hand tightly and buried his head into the crook of her neck.
"Don't let go, I am begging you. Don't go." He whispered in between sobs.