That one second she's called me back had changed everything.

The fact she wanted me for just a few more seconds meant the world to me. It meant I still had a chance.

I went to Sam's house right after I left Bella's. I knew I had to talk to him at some point. I also knew I had to go to Jacob, but that could wait.

I knock on Sam's door and step back, shoving my hands in my pockets. I stare at the door and wait. It swings open and Sam is there not looking at all surprised to see me. His face is completely calm.

He nods at me. I didn't know what he was waiting for. I wasn't sure if he wanted an apology, though it was probably Jacob I owed that to. I wondered how I'd bring myself to do that.

"Sorry for flipping out." I say, giving the apology a shot.

"Don't you think you should be saying this to Jacob?"

My hands clench into fists in my pockets. That was not what I wanted to hear, though I knew Sam was right. He was almost always right.

Just then Quil and Embry come out of the house from behind Sam. They both have grins on their faces. Those grins are directed at me.

"Don't." Sam says without even looking at them and before either of them can say anything. They stop grinning, but their eyes keep jumping back to me. I realize then that they must know about my feelings for Bella. Great. Now I won't hear the end of it. It'll be just like when we mocked Jacob.

I wanted to tell them to leave, or at least stop staring at me, but I'm cut short by the sound of a car pulling up on the gravel. Quil and Embry's eyes widen, then they look back at me. Quil wiggles his eyebrows and Embry holds back a grin.

"Dicks." I mumble as I turn around to see who's in the car that they're freaking out about.

It's Bella.

She parks her truck and gets outs slowly, not looking at me, or any of the four wolves staring at her. Even with her head pointed at the ground I can tell she's nervous. She walks slowly with her hands in her back pockets, finally lifting her head.

I feel either Quil or Embry (maybe both, certainly not Sam) push me forward. I turn around and give them the finger, which makes them laugh like 7th graders. Sam turns and tells them to go back inside. He glanced back at me and nods before following them inside and shutting the door behind him. I have no idea what that nod meant. It could have meant so many things. I hoped it meant go for it, because that's what I was going to do.

I turn and walk up to Bella, who's stopped a few feet from her car. That walk felt like it took minutes when it probably only took a few seconds. Maybe we were both nervous.

"Hey." I say. My heart is beating faster but my hands are no longer in fists. I'm calm but still not calm at all.

"Hi." she glances up at me. "Jacob told me..." she says, trailing off.

I gulp. I hated to admit it, but I was definitely nervous. "Told you what?"

"Just that he's mad at you because you... you like me." she looks like she's in pain saying those words.

Not like, Bella, love.

"He's really upset." she says.

"I really don't care what he is." I say honestly. She stares at me, finally really locking our eyes. It felt good and scary at the same time. Scary? Geez, what was Bella doing to me?

"Why are you doing this?" she asks.

"Doing what?"

"Messing everything up."

My jaw tenses, and my hands almost clench back into fists, but I try to keep my cool. "What's everything?" I say slowly through closed teeth.

"Me and Jake... my life..."

"Is it not messed up already?" I saw, opening my mouth now. "Was it not messed up the second you got here? When you met Edward? When you freaking fell in love with a vampire?"

I see her flinch slightly at his name. I know she doesn't talk about him. No one does. I know she can't take it.

"Or how about when Edward left?" My voice is slowly getting louder, but I can't help it. "Or when the Cullen's all left for good? Aren't you still torn up over that? Aren't you messed up? Isn't your whole fucking life really fucking messed up?" I knew I didn't need to curse, and I knew I didn't need to bring up the Cullens, but I honestly couldn't take this. I couldn't take the blame for messing up Bella's life when I'm only tying to help.

She stares at me, her now watery eyes darting all over my face. I don't know what else to do but stare back and wait for her to say something. But she doesn't, instead she bursts into tears, and for a moment I feel like a total jerk for causing the one I love to cry.

"Bella..." I whisper. She moves forward and falls against my bare chest. I'm frozen for a moment before I wrap my arms around her. I feel her tears trail down my stomach. I keep holding her, letting her cry. I don't say anything, feeling like I've said enough. We stand there for a good 3 minutes, Bella crying against me and me holding her tightly. Finally, her tears start to die down. She moves back and I let go.

"Sorry." she mutters, wiping her cheeks.

"No, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that... any of that." I say, for some reason I'm full of apologies today. I stare at her as she wraps her arms around herself.

"You're right, though." she says, looking up at me. Her eyes are red from crying. "My life is messed up, way before you came into it. To be honest, the past few weeks I've been pretending it's not messed up. That everything is fine. But it's not. Not even close to fine.

"I've been pretending for so long it was just all... all building up inside me, and then you walked in, causing problems, and I thought it was just you messing things up. So I blamed you. I blamed you for my messed up life that has nothing to do with you. And I'm sorry."

I shake my head, not wanting her to be sorry for anything.

"You... you know, I could pretend everything was fine for so long because Jacob made me feel like it wasn't messed up." she sniffles and continues on. "Then you came in and made Jacob angry... and I remembered things are messed up. Really freaking messed up."

"I made you feel bad again." I mutter, feeling a wave of guilt come over me.

"No." she says, surprising me. "You make it feel real. I'm not pretending anymore."

"But it hurts to not pretend."

"It hurts more to pretend, Paul. You don't understand how much I've been hurting since... since they left."

She still can't even say their names. I feel that wave of guilt again, and I can't hold back any longer. I love her too much to keep doing this.

I lean down quickly before she can even think and kiss her. I kiss her as passionately as I can, letting out everything I've been feeling.

She's tense at first, but after a moment she relaxes into it. My mind is rushing. It's happening. I was kissing Bella... and she's kissing me back.

I pull back for air. I look down at her and smile, hoping for a smile back, but she just looks at me blankly, like she has no idea what just happened. I was worried she might freak and run, but I couldn't let that happen. I couldn't loose her.

She took a step back, and I jolt forward.

"Don't go." I mutter.

"Wha..." she mumbles, trailing off.

I don't know what she's trying to say or what she's feeling, but I do know she kissed me back. That was reason enough to know she felt something. That was reason enough for her to stay.

"Don't question this." I say quietly but very seriously. "You kissed me back." I remind her.

She nods. I wish she's just say something instead of just staring at me. Even if she told me she hated me, at least I would know how she really felt.

"Bella-" I start but she cuts me off.

"I don't want to hurt Jake."

Her words instantly bring me to rage. I take a step back, trying to stay calm.

"Why does he still matter?" I ask.

"Paul, he's my best friend." she says, raising her voice. Now she's getting angry. "One kiss doesn't change anything."

"No but your feelings do."

"You don't know what I'm feeling."

I grind my teeth together, tensing my jaw. I take a breath through my nose. "Then tell me what you are feeling."

Her eyes fall from my face to the ground. "I don't know." she mutters.

I stare at her, hard, but it doesn't do any good. She continues to stare down at the gravel, and her words stay in the air.

"I'm sorry." she says finally. "I shouldn't have come." she turns and goes back to her truck quickly.

"You need someone, Bella." I call after her.

She stops at the door and looks at me, her face looks shocked.

"Does Jacob talk about Edward with you? Does he do anything to take the pain away other then make you pretend?"

She doesn't answer, not that I excepted her to.

"You may not know it but I know you need to talk. I know you need someone to listen. You don't have anyone. Jacob won't do it. He'll get angry if you bring up the Cullens. He thinks you don't need them, and you don't, but you can't not need them under you're over them. And you're not."

She puts her hand on the car door, gripping tightly.

"I can help you." I go on. "I want to help you. I want to listen. I want you to get over Edward and all the Cullens. I want your life to be fine, not just pretend."

I have nothing else to say so it goes quiet. A breeze rustles the trees and blows hairs in Bella's face. She pushes them behind her ear and gulps. "Why?" she asks me, lifting her head and locking our eyes. "Why do you want to help me."

I don't need to think about my answer. It's too simple.

"Because I love you."