I was close to counting down the minutes, no seconds, until 7:30.
I couldn't think about anything else. Sure I took a moment or two to remember Jacob was probably going to try to kill me or whatever, but I didn't really care. Bella was going on a date with me, and she's agreed fair and square. And wasn't all fair in love and war? Or whatever the fuck it is people say. Either way, I wasn't worrying about Jacob. I knew I could beat him in a fight.
I spent the rest of my afternoon wandering around my house. I ate, paced, ate some more, then paced some more. I couldn't remember the last time I went on a date. I guessed it had to be before I became a werewolf, so it'd been a while. It was in the middle of my pacing and thoughts I realized tonight could be completely awkward.
That just gave me more to think about. I wasn't the type to over think, but I almost felt like I was becoming the kind this afternoon. Bella was really messing me up in ways I hadn't excepted.
I hadn't excepted any of this, though.
As evening rolled around I opened my dresser drawer for the second time today. I fished through it, pushing aside shirts and shorts until I was almost at the bottom. I took out my nicest shirt and found a pair of jeans. I wondered when I'd bought those.
Once I was dressed I left my house and entered the woods near it. I still had two hours till I should go to Bella's, so I figured I'd spend it taking a long walk.
I wander deep into the slowly darkening woods. It's another clear night, and the setting sun along with the rising moon make it easy to see. Since I never use the path, I could use the light to guide me.
I walk for what feels like hours. I listen to the breeze rustling the trees, the owls calling into the night and my footsteps crunching leaves and twigs.
I finally decide I can go to Bella's house. I'm unaware of the time but it's probably close enough. I just don't think I can wait any longer. I might go insane. When I reach her house, however, part of wishes I'd stayed away a little longer.
Standing at the front door is Jacob. In the doorway is Bella. I stay hidden at the edge of the trees so I have a good angle of both of them, but stay hidden so they can't see me. Their staring at each other, and neither of them look happy. I can't hear what they're saying, but I know it's not a friendly conversation. They are clearly not happy, which could be good for me.
A minutes later Jacob flips around and stomps away, right in my direction. I glance at the doorway were Bella was but the door's already shut. She's gone back inside and Jacob's coming right at me. He doesn't see me, though, I'm hidden and he's cursing at the ground. I know I could avoid him, but that's in my nature.
I walk out from behind my hiding place, right into Jacob's path. He stops in his tracks when he sees me. Rage instantly washes over his face.
"Hey Jacob." I greet cheerily. This could be really entertaining. I had to think of it that way or my nicest shirt and jeans would end up ripped on the forest floor.
"You asked her out?" he growls.
"I'm fine thanks, how are you?" I grumble sarcastically.
He takes a step towards me. "Don't play with me, Paul."
"Look, you said game on, didn't you? I've done nothing wrong. Don't get pissed at me 'cause you're slow." I end with a shrug.
That was it. He was beyond pissed now. He yells and jumps at me, but I move aside quickly. Once again I'm faster then him. I was not fighting with him right now, so I had to be. He'd have to wait to get his ass kicked.
"Can this wait?" I call at him as I begin backing towards Bella's house. "I've kinda got a date."
He stares at me, huffing for air. He looks like he might be calming down a little, which mean no morphing, and no cloths ripping.
Once again, things were going my way. As it should be, really.
I give Jacob a small solute, then turn around. I grin, feeling cool and confident. I was back on my game, and nothing would mess this date up.
Or so I thought until Jacob tackles me from behind.
What happens next is a blur. The only reason I fall to the ground is because Jacob's already wolf. This makes me angry, fast. My adrenaline pumps and I morph quickly. So much for my jeans and nice shirt. So much for the date.
My back hurts like hell, and I know Jacob hurt me when he tackled me, but that was only because he'd been a wolf before me. I push Jacob off me, getting up through the pain in my back. I remember lunging at him, rolling around, claws clashing, teeth biting, blood dripping...
Somewhere along the way I'm knocked out... or killed. Yeah, maybe I'm dead. Guess the jeans and Bella (and the date) don't matter so much anymore.
Well, this isn't so bad. This whole death thing, if that's what this is. It's just endless darkness, really. It's like I'm in the forest at night.. like Im back with the pack, on patrol in the pitch black night...
"Come on Paul..."
I'm alive. I'm not dead. I'm really hungry...
"Wake up Paul... come on..."
I groan and feel myself coming back. I can feel my body again, and I know I'm lying down. My eyes are shut, but I know whoever is talking to me wants me to open the. I groan again and try. My back hurts and the cheek just under my left eye stings.
My eyelids finally flutter open. Things are blurry at first but after a few blinks I can see clearly. It's Sam who's leaning over me, trying to get me to wake up. When he sees me looking back at him he breaths a small sigh of relief. He stands up straight and puts his hands on his hips. I turn my head and look around at my surroundings. I'm in my bedroom, but the whole pack is here, gathered around my bed. I wonder how I got here, and who put shorts on me...
"Wha..." I mutter, but I'm cut off when I notice Jacob isn't anywhere in the room. "What happened?"
"Jacob kicked your ass." Quil says quickly and just as fast receives a flare from Same. I mentally thank him for that. I don't have the energy to tell Quil to shut up.
"Bella said you and Jacob fought outside her house. You are lucky no one was around." said Sam. I could hear the disappointed me and anger in his voice. I was surprised he was hiding it with a poker face. Maybe he wanted to wait till Jacob was here to scold us. After all, we'd done exactly what he told us not to.
"I remember fighting, but how did I get knocked out?" I ask. I touch my cheek lightly and felt a band-aid over the stinging spot. "And this...?"
Sam glances around the room, then nods at someone I can't see.
Bella pushes her way through my pack mates and stops at the end of my bed. she tries to smile at me, but it fades.
"Bella," Sam says and she directs her attention to him. "You saw what happened..."
"Yeah, uh, Jacob tackled you, Paul." she turns back to me, a very sheepish look on her face. I remember getting tackled. "It was before you'd, um, changed... But you did... change... quickly after. You guys fought, and I could tell you were loosing. Jake hurt you before you'd even become a wolf." I was surprised to hear her say it. It seemed like she'd been avoiding the word the whole time.
That explained why my back hurt. Jacob must have done something to it when he tackled me. I touch the large Band-Aid under my eye and sigh.
"I'm not sure how it ended..." Bella goes on. "I went to call Sam, but when we found you... you were..." she stops, and I notice she's holding back tears.
"You looked dead." Sam continues slowly, his eyes lingering on Bella but finding their way to me. "We brought you here and bandaged your cut. You've got a huge bruise around your tail bone, too."
Boy, I couldn't wait to sit down. It was painful enough just lying here.
"And Jacob?" I ask.
"gone." Sam says. "He ran. I assume he thinks he killed you."
"Are you gonna send someone after him?" Bella asks quietly. Everyone looks at Bella, including me. Her eyes are big and watery, full of hope and worry.
Sam's eyes travels around the room and stops at Embry. "Go." he mutters. Embry nods and leaves the room in a hurry. I hear Bella let out a small breath.
"I don't want him thinking the wrong thing..." Bella mutters to no one in particular. She looks right at me and whispers, "You're okay."
The air itself begins to feel awkward as everyone stands in silence. I know everyone notices it too, because soon everyone drifts out. Everyone but Bella.
"Can I take a rain check on the date?" I say.
She smiles for real this time. "Sure."
I manage a grin, but stop when my back starts to ache again. "God my back hurts." I groan.
"I'm sorry." she mutters, looking awkwardly at the floor. If I had known I would have cleaned my room up a little. Though how could I have known. I thought I could beat Jacob in any fight. I never anticipated him attacking me while I was still human and him wolf. If I hadn't changed, I could really be dead.
"Not your fault." I say. I watch her closely, knowing she's wondering about Jacob. As much as I didn't want her to, I couldn't control her. If I could, we'd be a couple.
"You're worried about him." I mutter.
"Of course I am."
"I'm the one laying here, bandaged up." I say, getting slightly annoyed when I know I shouldn't. I can't help it, I'm jealous.
"Only your face is bandaged." she says quietly. "You're fine."
"And so is Jacob."
"You don't know that!" she snaps.
I pause. She was right. I was so sure I could beat Jacob after all, there was a chance that I did hurt him.
I sigh. "Embry will find him."
Bella chews on her lips and nods once.
"Come here." I say. She shuffled around tot eh side of my bed, stepping over dirty cloths and a dirty plate. She looks down at me and I look up awkwardly, feeling strange in this position. I reach up and take her hand. She doesn't flinch or pull away. "You'll give me another chance?" I ask.
"Yes. As long as you don't go picking fights."
I chuckle, though I didn't really star the fight. Jacob was mad to begin with. I didn't want to fight with Bella about it, though. That was the last thing I wanted to do, so I just smiled up at her.
"Right. If it means I get you in the end."
She chews at her lip again, and I feel like I'm loosing her. I squeeze her hand and she looks at me.
"I still don't know, Paul." she whispers.
I blink hard a few times. The skin under my left eye starts to burn. I gulp, though my mouth is completely dry.
"What can I do." I whisper. Though I felt like it, I wouldn't cry, and I wouldn't break down. I don't do that. Then again, things have been plain weird with me the last couple days.
She shakes her head and a single tear falls from her eyes. I've made her cry again.
"Don't cry, okay?" I mutter. "You've cried enough."
She chuckles, though I see no joy in her. "Haven't I , though. Haven't I cried over enough... shit."
I knew she was thinking back to Edward and all of the Cullen's. It always came back to them... him. She didn't deserve this much pain and suffering, and I knew she couldn't get over it on her own.
"Let me help you. I don't want you to cry anymore."
She blinks slowly and exhales. "I don't know what you can do."
"Make you forget Edward. All of them. Anything to get you to have some peace and happiness in your life. And don't you tell me Jacob can help because he hasn't, has he?"
"I don't want to talk about this again." she complains.
I stare at her blankly, then slowly I let go of her hand. "Okay." I mutter.
"Paul..." she whimpers.
"I need sleep." I grumble.
She stares at me, her eyes lingering just long enough to hurt.
I break out stare by rolling onto my side, my back now facing her. I hear her sigh, then leave, closing the door behind her.
I'm alone again.