Rhaenys Targaryen had once loved her father more than anyone else in the world. She loved him more than her mother, grandmother, uncles or grandfather; she loved Rhaegar more than anything.
She isn't quite sure when her love for her father stopped. Was it when he crowned another woman his queen of love and beauty instead of her mother? Was it when he ran off with the same girl days after being told her mother couldn't bear him anymore children? Maybe it was when her grandfather ordered her and her mother to come to Kings Landing at once, leaving her younger brother alone at Dragonstone. Or maybe it was when she watched a son and father die together, the King forcing her to watch. Fire can not kill us, he told her.
She prayed for the Seven Gods to bring her father back. They listened to her prayers. He came back one night but he did not come to see her, he rode off to war the next morning.
She remembers hearing that her father had lost at the Trident, he was injured but he would have died if it weren't for Arthur Dayne. Rhaenys remembers how grateful she was that Ser Arthur Dayne was there to save her father; years later Rhaenys would curse Arthur Dayne. Her father returned to Dragonstone, soon after his arrival; a Stark girl and her babe roamed the halls of Rhaenys's birth place.
When word reached the King that his son had lost the battle at the Trident, he cursed Rhaegar Targaryen and his line. Rhaenys and her mother were locked away in their quarters, the only companion they had was her cat Balerion and Ser Jaime Lannister who no longer looked like the golden lion she once so greatly admired. Elia Martell would sing to her beloved daughter but Rhaenys would scream and yell at her and demand that her father come back. Her mother would cry, she was always crying and it drove her daughter mad.
Rhaenys remembers when her grandfather sent her grandmother and uncle away to Dragonstone, she begged her mother to let her go with them but her mother only told her that the King wished for them to remain here with him. She wanted to be with her brother and father but the Gods decided that Rhaenys would not meet them; not yet. Rhaenys would often look out the windows of her bed chambers and wonder why her father still hadn't come for her and her mother. They could be together once more like how it used to be.
Tywin Lannister had come to the King as a friend. The King, grateful to have a friend, opens his arms wide and welcomes him into King's Landing.
Rhaenys loses her mother and half her heart. When her father had left her Rhaenys thought that her heart had broken into a million pieces but seeing her mother be raped and killed by the mountain that moves destoyed her heart beyond repair. No one would ever be able to heal it, no father, no brother, no lover could fix Rhaenys' heart.
She doesn't remember everything that happened after. She does remember Jaime Lannister stopping the mountain before he sank his blade into her heart. She remembers being presented to the new King. He was big and monstrous. Tywin Lannister wanted to cut off her head and send it to Dragonstone, Robert Baratheron was more than pleased to allow the old lion to do so but Jon Arryn advised his ward to keep the girl alive. If they keep the daughter of Elia Martell alive, the Dornish will stop sending their men to war and the Targaryens will be alone, for most of their allies deserted them when Rhaegar Targaryen decided to hide in his ancestral home. After a while of arguing it was decided that Rhaenys Targaryen would live and be a prisoner to the crown.
Soon after Robert Baratheron was crowned King, the remaining Targaryens at Dragonstone fled east. Stannis Baratheon was not able to stop them, the King gave him Dragonstone instead of Storms End for his failure. The new King married Cersei Lannister. The Queen was not kind to Rhaenys but most people aren't kind to the dragon spawn of Rhaegar Targaryen.
The Queen gave birth to a son with golden hair and green eyes, no one said anything. Rhaenys wondered if they knew that the Lannister twins would often share a bed together, she was a small child and was able to move inside the walls of the Red Keep as quietly and quickly as balerion. Rhaenys thinks that the spider knows and that he perhaps let his suspicions be known by the Hand of the King.
When Rhaenys is ten and seven the King imprisons Cersei Lannister and her brother Jaime Lannister, they are accused of incest and claim that Joffrey, Myrcella, and Tommen were children of Jaime and not Robert. Tywin Lannister came to Kings Landing and tried to absolve the mess that his children had done but in the end his golden haired twins were found guilty and met the executioner's ax. Joffrey, the eldest son of the twins, was sent to the wall. Myrcella was sent off to the silent sister while the youngest bastard was to become a maester at the citadel once he grew older.
The young ladies flock to King's Landing in hopes of being Robert Baratheon's new queen. Rhaenys overhears Jon Arryn and Robert Baratheon talking about marrying her off. It was quite odd that she was still unwed, she did not even have a betrothed yet. She hears them talk about Robb Stark, the eldest son of Ned Stark, and she hears as Robert curses his old friend and tells Jon that he doesn't trust Lord Stark, not after what Lady Lyanna did. Rhaenys finds herself being grateful towards the King, she would rather die than marry a Stark. She hears the name Willas Tyrell and Renly Baratheon thrown out, Rhaenys wouldn't mind marrying either of them. She is caught off guard when Jon Arryn puts himself forward as a suitor for the Targaryen Princess.
Robert Baratheon is taken aback as well before he lets out a thunderous laugh. After a while he settles down and is surprised to see that his foster father was serious about his proposal. The King's hand says that since his Lady wife Lysa Arryn died after giving birth to his only son Robin, he was in need of a new wife. A wife that could provide him with a spare. The King says nothing but wonders why a man as old as Jon Arryn lust after a girl that could be his granddaughter.
As the days passed the Targaryen Princess grew more and more anxious about her future betrothed. She does not wish to marry Jon Arryn but she finds that she is once again trapped. Jon Arryn is the second most powerful man in the realm, if he wished to marry the daughter of the last dragon, then there would be no one to stop him. Rhaenys starts to prepare herself for the impending doom of said marriage. She curses Rhaegar Targaryen and Lyanna Stark and their children. She curses her brother Aegon and her grandmother, her uncle Viserys and the aunt she never met. The family she once loved and longed for no longer have any place in the Princess's heart, she doubts anyone will ever find home in her heart; unless their name is Elia Martell. Once the young girl finally understood why Robert's Rebellion started, she shed every bit of dragon skin she had and embraced the warmth of her mothers sun. She could not find it in herself to fully hate Robert Baratheon, he was not much older than her when he marched to war for his lady love only to find out that she had willingly gone with the Targaryen Prince, she wonders how he feels about the Stark girl having five children with dragons blood.
Robert Baratheon was a strange man, Rhaenys had thought that the man who wished for her head to be cut off her young body would have more hatred towards her. The King was never cruel to her, he would ignore her more often than not. A small mercy but one that Rhaenys was internally grateful for. She couldn't imagine having to face the wrath of a Baratheon. Her father had scarcely survived the fury of his Baratheon cousin, the fallen star was what had saved the last dragon from becoming the stag's dinner.
The day was cloudy and heavy rain was falling when Rhaenys came up with a way to avoid a marriage between herself and Jon Arryn. It was reckless and not planned out as well as it should have been but she's certain that it could work. All she needed was confidence and then the rest of the pieces would fall together. At least she hoped they would.
Robert Baratheon had been out hunting when the rain started, the road had turned muddy and his horse slipped and fell sideways. The King was relatively unharmed but the Grand Maester insisted he be put on bed rest. Rhaenys thought that perhaps the Gods had finally shown her some mercy. She could begin planting the seeds of her plans much sooner than she had thought but the faster her seeds grow the better.
Rhaenys liked reading sometimes, she enjoyed learning about the history of Westeros and its legends. She held a book about Nymeria and her ships in her arms, her hands were shaking slightly as she made her way to the King's quarters. As she gets closer she sees Ser Barristan Selmy keeping guard. The knight was once a part of her grandfather's Kingsguard before he joined the Baratheons Kingsguards. She often wonders if he regretted not running away east to join his lost brothers.
Once she reaches the door she turns to the knight and tells him that she wishes to speak to the King, the old knight simply stares at her for a moment unsure what to do before he nods his head and enters the King's chambers. Rhaenys follows closely behind him and hears as Ser Barristan announces her presence to the King.
"Princess Rhaenys of House Targaryen." Ser Barristan says aloud. The Baratheon King is lying on his bed when he sees Rhaenys standing in his chambers. The King looks confused and Rhaenys cannot blame him, she can't remember a time her and the King ever spoke besides their shared pleasantries. She tries not to lose her nerve but finds it impossible not to. She almost wishes that she hadn't come but she reminds herself why she came here in the first place.
She watches as the King dismisses the old knight and she tries not to make eye contact with the knight.
"Come in girl." The King practically yells but Rhaenys does as he says as she walks further into the King's quarters and watches as the King struggles to sit up right. Rhaenys walks towards him, intending to help him before he holds out his arm to stop her from providing any assistance. "I'm not a damn cripple, I don't need your help." He says.
"Yes, of course Your Grace"
"Now tell me, why are you here?" He asks and Rhaenys stays silent for a moment.
"I know that His Grace had been ordered by Maester Cressen to be on bed rest. I… um.. I thought that perhaps you could use some company Your Grace." Rhaenys says softly. The King is silent for a moment.
"You thought I would like some company from you? Huh girl." Rhaenys tries so desperately to hold onto any confidence she has before she decides to speak once more.
"I only meant that I wished to keep you company, you are my King and I wish to be of service in any way I can be." She is surprised to hear how clear and strong her voice sounded.
"And how do you plan to keep me company?" He says.
"I brought a book." She holds out the book that she had been holding onto, Robert had not seemed to notice the book in her arms. He gave the book a quick look before he let out a loud laugh. It was a quick laugh but a laugh nonetheless.
"You want to read me a book? What am I, a boy? Huh is that what you think I am?" Rhaenys struggles to come up with a response.
"The book is about Nymeria and her ten thousand ships. I thought that you would like it, Your Grace. Nymeria was a fierce warrior, she survived the dragons of Old Valyria. Her people killed dragons and their riders. It seemed like the perfect book for you Your Grace." She tells him.
The King says nothing for a moment, Rhaenys holds her breath. "Very well then, read me that book. Perhaps it may even put me to sleep with any luck." He finally says. The Targaryen Princess smiles before she begins reading the book.
The Targaryen Princess reads the Baratheon King a story about her ancestors, as she reads the story she finds it strange that she is both the blood of Old Valyria and the Rhoynar. Her ancestors were once the bitterest of enemies, she wondered what they would think of her, a girl who shares both their blood.
The king had fallen asleep just before she completed the book. She sat and stared at him for a while, she was suddenly hit with a wave of anger. A festering anger that had been building up since the moment the mountain had barged into her mothers quarters and slaughtered her. Robert Baratheon had not been pleased with the murder of Elia Martell but he made no move to bring justice to her mother and instead turned a blind eye to Tywin Lannister's foul play. She wonders now if perhaps he regrets it now, now that the realm whispers of how the Lannister queen had played the Baratheon king for a fool. Would Cersei Lannister have been as brave and confident to have passed off her children as legitimate if her father had paid for the crimes against Rhaenys's mother? Would Tywin have been stripped of his power for his murder of the Princess of Dorne? She likes to believe that he would have, had Robert Baratheon been wiser.
Rhaenys goes to leave the King's quarters when she hears the king begin to mutter something. She moves closer towards him to hear what it is that he is saying.
"Ned" Says the King. He repeats it a couple more times until he suddenly becomes silent and Rhaenys watches as his chest rises and falls with every breath he takes.
She can't help but pity the King, though the King is charismatic and friendly, he does not have many close friends. Ned Stark had been his closest. Once brothers, the two men no longer speak to one another. There is still love there, Rhaenys knows that Robert Baratheon misses the friendship he once shared with Lord Stark, if there wasn't any Rhaenys is sure Robert would have hunted the ends of the world to kill Rhaegar and Lyanna. The love he bears for Ned Stark is what keeps Lyanna Stark alive and by extension her father, she finds it all ironic really.
Sometimes she jokes that Robert loves Ned Stark more than he ever loved his beloved Lyanna, these jokes are only told to her confidant Balerion.
Rhaenys leaves the King's chambers and finds herself face to face with Lord Baelish. The man had always unnerved her, ever since he had slithered his way into the King's small council. He may unnerve her but she knows how powerful Lord Baelish is and she may come to need him one day so she always locks her disdain for the Lord away and engages in eager conversation with him even though she would rather throw herself off a cliff than talk to him.
"Lord Baelish '' She says with a pleasant smile. She notices the curiosity present in the lord's eyes and she knows he wishes to know why she was in the King's chamber. Petyr Baelish was a man who knew how to hide all his emotions so she knows the curiosity in his eyes is an invitation to discuss what she was doing with the king.
"Lady Rhaenys, I was not aware that you were with our beloved King. Had I known I would have waited to speak with the King." Says Lord Baelish.
"There would be no need for you to wait, My Lord. I was simply checking up on the King's condition."
"Well, how does our King fare? Princess."
"He is well, though you may have to wait until later to speak with the King. He is asleep now." Rhaenys replies with a gentle smile.
"Asleep? Well I wouldn't want to disrupt the king's sleep, Gods know how much he needs it." He replies with a small laugh. Rhaenys lets out a small laugh of her own. "Well I should take my leave now My Lord." The Princess says with another gentle smile. She makes a move to pass Lord Baelish but he quickly steps in her way and extends his arm out towards her.
"Please let me escort you back to your chambers." He says. "Of course My Lord." She says as she grabs ahold of his arm.
They reach her chambers quickly enough and Rhaenys can't help but let out a sigh of relief as the doors to her chambers close behind her, finally free of the Master of Coin. She sets the book down on her table and reminds herself to return the book to the library. She could ask one of her maids to do it but she likes her walks to the library so she makes any excuse to visit the library. The truth is that she isn't overly fond of books as most people at the Red Keep believe her to be, she likes the silence that envelopes the library and though she does read a book every time she is in the library, a thirst for knowledge is not why she sits at the back of the library. The lord of spiders once brought her to the library when she was eight, it had been the first time she had been there since her mother had died. She was confused at first as to why Varys would bring her there but she soon found out why the Master of Whispers was eager for her to join him. He had made an off hand suggestion to read a book, the book had been one about the dance of the dragons, the Targaryen civil war that started the downfall of the house of the dragon. He left her in the library soon after and with nothing else to do, her young self decided to adhere to the Master of Whispers suggestion.
She searches for the book and finds it all the way in the back, hidden underneath other Targaryen books that had been thrown to the back carelessly. She had sat down on the floor and opened the book and began to read, as she opened the book a single thin sheet of paper fell from its pages. At first she had assumed that the page had fallen off, the book had looked rather old and looked beat up but it wasn't until she lifted the paper up that she realized the page had not been a part of the book at all. The piece of paper was not as yellow and stained as the pages of the book, no the page was neat and clean.
She had not known what the piece of paper contained just yet but she knew that it meant for her eyes only. She gave the library one quick look over and confirmed that no one was in here with her, still she picked the book up and slipped the piece of paper on the open pages of the book. If anyone were to come in and see her somehow, they'll see a young girl desperate to cling onto her Targaryen ancestry.
She turned her eyes to the piece of paper stained with black ink and read the page.
"My dearest niece, I hope that this letter makes its way into your hands.
I have longed to see you my sweet girl, the last time I laid my eyes on you was when you visited Dorne with your mother. Knowing what I know now I wish I would have kept you both in Dorne.
But the Gods are cruel.
There is so much I wish to say but I want you to know that you will always have my love and support. Prince Doran will love and support you. Dorne will love and support you.
I know that I am but a stranger that bears the same name as your mother but I hope that you know that you are not alone.
With much love,
Uncle Oberyn"
The letter had been much too short for Rhaenys' liking but she loved the letter nonetheless. She remembers how happy she had been when she received the letter, not even the queen could ruin her high spirits. She folded the paper up and hid it into the sleeves of her dress, now it sits in a wooden box underneath her dresser hidden away. The wooden box collects dust.
Many letters came after, she would go to the library everyday and search the pages in between the books. No one questioned the young girl, everyone knew that her father had been fond of books as well, they assumed that she took after her father. Eagerly she waited for a letter from her uncle, it had been her ten and three nameday, and the letter was the one present she would receive. But there had been no letter hidden in the books. She convinced herself that perhaps the letter would arrive the next day, it never did. She waited for months for her precious letter. The letter never came, in fact, no other letters would ever be found in between the pages of books. Everyday that went by without a letter weighed itself down into Rhaenys' heart. She cried often, sad that she had received no present for her nameday.
It wasn't until she was ten and five that she finally came to terms with the fact that she will no longer be receiving any letters from her uncle, she cried one last time over her lost letters and never shed any tears for any promised letters again.
She had been angry at first, she had been in a foul mood for days after coming to that realization. She cursed her uncle and for a moment, just a small moment, Prince Oberyn was the man she hated the most, not Rhaegar Targaryen. But this anger quickly dissolved itself and she found herself so unbelievably sad that she thought that it would consume her whole. She tried to reason with herself, she came up with reasons as to why her uncle would stop writing letters. Maybe someone had found out about said letters and threatened to say something, that sounded reasonable enough and so she comforted herself with the idea that her uncle had stopped communication with her because he did not wish any harm to come to her. It brought her a small joy to know that there was still someone in the Seven Kingdoms that wished to protect her from any harm,
That would have been a fine excuse for her uncle but towards her ten and six nameday she overheard Littlefinger speaking with Varys. That's when she found out why her uncle had stopped writing to her. Littlefinger had heard rumors from across the narrow sea that the Prince of Dorne had been in Pentos and sent spies to Pentos to look further into the rumors, Rhaenys remembers how she tensed up when she heard the name of the city. Pentos had once been a most precious place for Rhaenys, she would dream of a beautiful city with beautiful people, where she could be with her father once more. This dream was ruined once she understood why her family was there in the first place. The city became covered in fire and ashes in her dreams, nothing but ruins of something that was once so beautiful.
Littlefinger had said that one of his spies had seen Prince Oberyn with the Targaryen prince, Lord Baelish did not say which one but she knew of which prince he spoke of. It was her brother. She was surprised to hear of the reunion of her uncle and brother, she had always assumed that her brother was just as far out of reach as her, perhaps even more. There was a whole sea separating Oberyn and Aegon and yet they were able to reunite. Lord Varys slyly mentions Rhaegar Targaryen and he's able to get some new information from Littlefinger, though Rhaenys is sure that he already knew all this, in fact she's sure he knows even more than what Lord Baelish knows. They both speak of a potential alliance between the Targaryens and Martells, they speak of a war to win back the throne that was stolen. A war that would restore the Targaryen dynasty, a new age for the house of the dragon.
In the end Rhaenys opens her eyes and she is back in her bed chambers, Balerion is still down in the dungeons where Lord Varys and Lord Baelish remain.
The days following that revelation were horrible, she could not find sleep and her septa would hit her with a wooden stick when she messed up her embroidery. She would throw up often and whenever she was able to sleep, she was plagued with nightmares.
Now as she looks at the book at the table about Nymeria and her ten thousand ships she understands why she was so upset at her uncle. She felt abandoned, yet again her family had left her and it doesn't hurt any less than when her father left her. Rhaenys no longer feels as sad as she is about learning why her uncle stopped writing to her, she will be ten and eight soon. Truth be told she never would have thought she would make it this far in life, she had convinced herself that she would die young, stuck in this forsaken castle surrounded by monsters who would come to feast on her corpse. A few years ago all she wanted was to be reunited with her family, her Dornish family, but now she sees how they abandoned her in favor of her brother.
Rhaenys knows that her resentment towards her brother is an ugly thing but she does not care. Besides it's not like her brother will ever witness her resentment. He is across the narrow sea with his father and brothers and sisters not to mention his grandmother and her children. And now he has her mothers brothers, soon enough she's sure he'll have his Dornish cousins as well. Rhaenys knows it's cruel to blame her brother for her abandonment but she can't help it. Aegon Targaryen will always be the bane of Rhaenys Targaryen and yet she can't help but love him. She can't ignore the fact that he shares the same blood as her, that perhaps her brother wishes to be with her, that he wishes she was there in Pentos with him. Maybe Aegon wishes she was a part of his family too. She wishes to know these things for certain but she will never know for sure. All she can do is hope that at least her brother hasn't abandoned her.
Resentment and jealousy is a horrible combination and Rhaenys finds herself fighting to keep those two feelings apart. Only bad things will come from such horrid feelings and she much rather bury those feelings deep inside her, deep inside where the only company they would have would be the love she once bore her father. A love that was buried so long ago that it's been completely covered with grass and weeds, hate and disdain. She wonders who else will join the graveyard in her heart.
She goes to bed soon after eating her dinner with Lady Tanda and her daughter. Her daughter was not unpleasant but for some reason Rhaenys found it difficult to build a friendship with the girl. She decided not to dwell on the fact that she could not make any lasting friendships and went to bed.
Rhaenys does not know how long she had been asleep when the empty void of her mind began to swirl with color and abstract shapes. It took a moment for Rhaenys to realize that she was outside, it was so dark that she assumed she was in a room of darkness alone. But the gentle murmurs of a flowing river quickly told her that she was outside, with the fields of life. Other than the sound of water flowing, she heard nothing else.
For a moment she wondered if perhaps her mind had taken mercy on her and allowed her a moment of peace. That grace was quickly shattered when she heard the sounds of thundering steps, it was unlike anything she had ever heard before, she had witnessed a great host of horses and men before; when the King went hunting in the woods but this sounded much more powerful. The thundering steps were monstrous and she imagined that once her eyes were accustomed to the darkness she would see the dothraki riding their way towards her. For only the dothraki could make such monsters out of horses.
She waited with bated breath.
What emerged into her line of vision was not a great khalasar but instead a lone stag. The stag was large, larger than King Robert's horse, larger than any horse she had ever laid her eyes on. It took her only a moment to discern that the stag was not as alone as she had thought it was. On top of the giant stag sat a man. The man was large and he wore heavy armor, he reminded her of the demon on the trident, she had never witnessed the demon but the stories were so vastly told that she could almost picture the battle itself. She is dreaming of the battle, she thinks to herself.
She will have a look at how her father had been defeated. She found that she was not eager to see the downfall of her father as she once thought she would be. For she now knows that his doom meant hers as well.
The stag looked her way. She was frozen in fear, what if instead of a battle between Robert and Rhaegar, this dream will be one of her own battles. Her and the stag. She watched the stag closely and let out a sigh of relief when the man on top of the stag directed it forward, far away from where she stood near the body of water. The man had not noticed her.
Robert and his stag made their way deeper into the grounds of the trident and all Rhaenys did was watch.
Soon enough she heard the sound of wings beating against the wind. A dragon emerged from the clouds and descended upon the battle ground. The dragon was no balerion the black dread, in fact the dragon proved to be even smaller than the stag stood before it. A man was parched up on top of the dragon, he too wore armor.
Her father looked every bit a dragon. His silver mane could be seen flowing out of his helm, his armor red and black but she noticed that there was no three headed dragon on his armor as everyone had told her. Instead there was a sun. The sun was made of red rubies. Rhaenys was conflicted as she watched the rubies glow and glisten underneath the moonlight. Her father had no right wearing the sun of Dorne but if anyone had the audacity to wear the sigil of the wife he abandoned, it would be Rhaegar.
Rhaenys watched as the two men dismounted their mounts and walked towards one another. They met in the middle, she could see their lips moving but she could hear nothing that came out of their mouths. The river, which stood gently and quietly soon sounded like a whirlpool of water, the water was loud and she thought she heard her name being called out from the water.
She had been paying too much attention to the body of water that only the clash of swords made her look back at the open field and there she saw her father and Robert fighting one another. Rhaenys was confused to see that Robert held a sword in his hand. Everyone knew that the King was more fond of his war hammer, he never fought a battle with a sword.
Soon enough Robert had brought the last dragon to his knees and Rhaenys looked around and waited for Ser Arthur Dayne to appear. She had the funny thought that perhaps he would appear from the sky with the fallen star of his house. But no fallen star appeared and no sign of the sword of the morning presented itself. She turned her attention back to her father.
Robert stuck his sword deep into the chest of Rhaegar Targaryen and she watched as blood spilled from the lips of the man she once loved more than anything. Tears left her eyes without her permission but she could not bring herself to care.
The man who murdered her father cleaned the blood off his sword and started making his way to her. Her feet were planted to the ground and no matter how much she willed herself to move, her feet would not answer.
He got closer to her and stopped only a few steps from her, the river. He's not coming for me, he came for the river. She watches as he kneels on the ground, Rhaenys could see him much more clearly now. Robert was not as large as he is now.
The man removed his helmet and Rhaenys felt like she had been hit in the face. The man who stood before her was not Robert Baratheon. The Baratheon king had hair the color of night and eyes the color of a clear sky.
The man who killed her father had hair the color of silver. The hair was long but still short enough to be covered by his helm. Rhaenys moved closer to him and saw his reflection in the water, his hair may not be the color of coal but his eyes were the stormy blue color that every Baratheon beared.
She stared at the man for a long while, she felt herself fading away. It was in that very moment that the man in the reflection locked eyes with her. She knew that he saw her all along.