I'm writing this now, before the chance has gone.
If you asked me when things changed, I couldn't really say...but they did. Of course his arrival changed things...it always did.
But I would say things changed on that fateful day on that icy hiker's trail.
No-one saw it or felt it...that dark shadow that followed the Doctor from whatever hell he'd been in and who could know what would follow the man we call White Coat.
They say hindsight is a wonderful thing...if I'd had hindsight then his arrival would have been the least of my worries...our worries.
But that time has passed, a kingdom drowned in tears and blood.
If I'd had hindsight I would have done the merciful thing and killed him when he begged me... it would have been easy, one bullet to the head...no regeneration.
But I didn't, because I love him and I will have to live with that.
But as I said at the beginning of this, I'm writing this down now...this is how, well my version of it, of how a Kingdom was lost...a soul was broken...a war won and how we descended from purgatory to hell.
Jack Harkness
"Missile!" the shout came and every soldier froze as the whine of the projectile filled the air.
All eyes watched as it flew over the stockade...it wasn't the missile they were scared of...it was the contents.
The missile fell silent and they knew their fate.
The missile ploughed into the dirt just outside the walls, and there was that moment when time stretched and nothing happened; then there was a hiss of air and a hatch opened.
Once again there was that moment and then the cry of "Crawlers!" filled the silence and metallic death poured over the wall.
The screams reached the ears of the sender of the metallic death.
"His toys really are quite wonderful, don't you think?" the Master said and turned to the person chained to a railing of the armoured vehicle.
The figure wanted to cover his ears and block out the screams, but he couldn't.
So, he glared at his jailer. "You've twisted him into a monster."
"Oh Jack, he was twisted by others more powerful than you and I a long time ago. I've merely polished the rough edges."
The subject of the conversation appeared from inside the RV, a manic grin on his face.
"Have to go and collect my pets," the Doctor said.
"In a minute," the Master said.
The grin disappeared from the Doctor's face and his demeanour changed from one of manic glee to petulance.
"But I want to go now," he whined.
"In a minute," the Master said.
"No...now," the Doctor said.
The Master looked up sharply as there was a dangerous tone to the Doctor's voice.
"I said in a minute."
"I don't take orders from you," the Doctor snarled and jumped off the RV and strode away from it.
"Don't you walk away from me!" the Master yelled.
He turned sharply at the laugh from Jack.
"Your leash not as tight?"
"Put him back in his cage," he snarled and went after the Doctor.
"Once a dog gets a taste of freedom...!" he heard the freak shout before he was out of ear shot.
He may not have wanted to hear it, especially from the freak...but he was right and it galled him to admit it.
There was something not quite right about the Doctor since he came back.
He'd ignored it and he'd had good sport trying to tame that rebellious streak, in and out of bed.
But now it was becoming a problem and the Doctor's moods were becoming darker and unpredictable and on top of that the headaches were starting to become disabling; more than once he'd found the Doctor curled up in a protective ball, screaming at the pain.
The physician couldn't find any reason for the headaches, no tumour or pressure on the brain...if the Master was a less logical creature he'd say there was a dark shadow hanging over the Doctor.
He found the Doctor very quickly. He hadn't gone far, the bodyguards he'd assigned to him made sure of it.
He was standing on a small outcrop of rock, staring out at nothing.
He could see by the tension in his shoulders that he was suffering from a headache...tread carefully he thought.
"Have you come to punish me for disobeying me?"
The word 'disobeying' was laced with more venom than a thousand serpents.
"No...but you shouldn't expect to go straight away. Let the men check for any survivors...you would make a very good scalp for a sniper."
The Doctor kicked at a stone and let out a long breath and rolled his head.
"We're making camp...you should go and rest."
Thankfully the Doctor nodded his agreement.
"Right then...one of your assistants can recall the crawlers," the Master said and turned to one of the guards that had followed him.
"Make camp...we move on their main camp tomorrow."
Jack tried to get comfortable in the cage he'd been shoved back into, which wasn't easy as it was only just big enough for him to turn in.
He'd raged inside at the screams of men dying in the stockade; they stood no chance against what the Master called the Doctor's 'toys'.
He knew what they were...he'd experienced the bite of said toy a lifetime ago and knew if it had been agony for him then it must have been hell for the soldiers.
He was mad at the Master...why the hell couldn't he see what everyone else could see; the Doctor was clearly unstable and unwell.
Perhaps the Master was much like himself, unable to accept the fact that the Doctor may be lost to the both of them...but lost to what.
He closed his eyes and that feeling that something bad was going to happen returned; but what could be worse than this.
He opened his eyes when someone tapped on the bar...it was Seska, carrying a bowl of what passed for the food the Master allowed him.
"I'm sorry it's only gruel...but I did manage to get this," he said and quickly passed a chunk of bread over; it was fresh and smelt wonderful and Jack quickly dipped in the thin liquid and stuffed it into his mouth.
He nodded at Seska who smiled back.
"I wish I could persuade father to give you some freedom..." he looked round. " I have to go...my parents are coming. Stay strong Captain, this won't be forever."
Jack frowned at those words...what did he mean by that?
He shrugged and watched as Seska scurried away and then the Master and the Doctor walked by, surrounded by guards.
He heard the order to make camp and he knew it was going to be another uncomfortable night and once again shifted to get himself comfortable.
The Master repressed a shiver as the two figures moved as they entered the tent...ghosts they were called...one of his own inventions but still they made him shiver...the wrongness of them, but they were effective guard dogs.
"You should rest, Eresh'ala," the Master said as the Doctor paced the floor.
"Stop telling me what to do," the Doctor hissed back.
The Master sighed and motioned to the ghosts, who stepped forward and grabbed the Doctor.
He struggled but their grip was secure and he screamed at them to let him go, but they only answered to the Master.
"You need to sleep," the master said and put his hands on the Doctor's temples.
"No...please. I'll do as you say...please...Ni'ala. I don't want to...please..."
He collapsed into the grip of the ghosts and they put him on the bed.
"Don't let him out of this tent."
The ghosts said nothing, but he knew they would obey him; he had work to do, he couldn't watch the Doctor as well.
The Doctor knew he was wrong to snap at the Master, but something inside had snarled at him to get some spine and a wave of rage had surged through him.
Now he had a headache and it threatened to split his skull in half...so he'd tried to get away and hope the headache would dissipate.
But the headache persisted and now the Master was forcing him to sleep and he didn't want to sleep...because his sleep was full of monsters.
Now he was running from them as they snarled and snapped at his heels and there was no escape because the Master had forced him into sleep and he couldn't wake up.
He stumbled and fell and the only thing he felt was the searing pain as one of the monsters sank their teeth into his flesh and he screamed.