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Beta: arabian - Thank you so much! :]

Disclaimer: TVD belongs to L.J. Smith & CW.

Chapter 12

"What's going on here?" Caroline asked, crossing her arms over her chest, and turning to Damon after closing the door and shutting off the sight of Stefan and Elena.

A wide-eyed look didn't work, so Damon said with a sour smile. "All quiet on the western front." He glanced at the door made to walk off, but Caroline flashed a few steps ahead from him and blocked his way. He rolled his eyes. "Why do you ask?"

"Well," Caroline tilted her head to the side, glaring at him. "Because I happen to have eyes?" she snapped, quite certain that in that short red dress and black leather jacket Elena must look like some stupid ideal vampire girlfriend from his fantasies.

Damon smiled mirthlessly. "You should double check your voice,though, because you failed to tell us that Klaus' taken over Tyler. Literally."

Caroline's angry expression faded into panic. "What? How do you know?"

"Because he was here, cruel intentions and all," Damon narrowed his eyes in a brief smile, taking a step to the left so he could see a part of the living room window.

"Oh my God." Caroline stared at him in dismay. "I just... didn't want to worry Elena until... she got... back..." Caroline's eyes shifted right and left. "It wouldn't have happened if you hadn't... spirited her away in the first place!" she exclaimed, remembering that she was upset.

"You're right," Damon allowed with fake compliance. "If I didn't, she would've been dead by now so none of it would've mattered," he said with a frown.

"Of course," Caroline snorted. "I knew that'd turn into your number one achievement," she said, annoyed. "What's going on here?" she repeated her initial question in a louder voice.

"Oh, here you are," Mrs. Flowers emerged from the living room, gesticulating for them follow her. "You need to try my apple pie. That's why I stopped by here today, you know," she added to Damon, and Caroline immediately gave up on the unlikely idea that Mrs. Flowers had served as a chaperone here. Right. She snorted at herself for even entertaining the idea. "I know it's not what you… eat, but I imagine it's nice to eat a slice of an apple pie every once in a while even when one doesn't have to," she added, smiling brightly at Caroline who did her best to return the smile.

Walking through the living room, Caroline didn't fail to notice the furniture being pushed against the walls, scattered shopping bags, CDs, and she blinked repeatedly at the rose petals, muttering "seriously, Elena?" under her breath all the way to the kitchen.


It was very confusing, seeing clear outlines of everything in the sunlight. All the colors were bright and vivid and even the wind seemed to have a color of its own, a peculiar shade of transparency. It was so peaceful here, Elena realized, and felt a twinge of regret at the thought that they were leaving, that this time here was over.

She kept turning the ring around her finger, feeling the small gems under her fingertips. The gesture was helping somewhat, although it wasn't able to really calm her down. Anxiety, a strange type of anxiety she couldn't quite define, was rising within her like the level of water about to reach its critical point.

She didn't know what to say to him, how to look at him. For reasons she couldn't even recall now she was convinced it was Caroline and Jeremy who had been planning on coming here, and so she had banished the thought of talking to Stefan to the back of her mind. She wished she had at least one sentence prepared. The silence was becoming unbearable.

"Elena," Stefan stopped walking and she stopped too.

It had the sound of old photographs and postcards falling onto the dusty attic floor, she thought abstractly, this moment now. She felt like she was failing him somehow - with her lack of words, with the words she was soon to say, with everything. She had told him to hold on to the very line she was about to cut off. It felt cruel and wrong and she was writhing inwardly in the tangled threads of her torn conscience.

"How are you feeling?" Stefan asked in a low voice, studying her face in concern. She was looking around her, and he wondered if it was the first time she was outside after the transition.

"I'm OK," Elena whispered at last, shifting her eyes to him with a small, reassuring smile. "I'm OK, Stefan."

There was a shadow of expression she couldn't name that had passed through his face but it was gone in a blink of an eye, and he smiled carefully. "I'm glad to hear that."

His voice sounded hollow and somewhat bitter. Or perhaps she only imagined the bitterness, because she expected it. She felt guilty. All of her incantations of how there was no reason to feel guilty seemed useless now. The sense of guilt was boiling in her veins and she found it very strange. "Every time there is a bump in the road-" She grimaced, drew a hasty breath, and wrapped her arms around herself, struck by a thought that escaped her before she managed to grasp it. "Every time-"

"I tried to call," Stefan said in a low voice, waiting for her to look at him, trying not to think it significant that she kept looking away. "I didn't know if you wanted to see me."

"Why?" Elena asked mechanically, distracted by her thoughts, by a feeling of dryness in her throat. Maybe it was the sun's fault. Fault. The word echoed dully in her head. Or maybe she was hungry. The thought comforted her a little, as it at least was the closest to a rational explanation why she was feeling so strange.

"I never wanted this to happen to you," Stefan said in a low, intense voice full of sadness. "Never, Elena." She looked at him, remembering that he was talking to her. She wanted to ask him why again, but he continued. "And I didn't want you to… live like that, to be like that. So when you said you didn't want to… I didn't feel like I had a right to make you change your mind."

"You didn't," Elena said softly, and he wasn't sure he understood why there was a glimpse of a smile in her eyes. "I don't blame you for not making me turn, if that's what you think," she said, looking at him searchingly to see if she guessed the reason for his distress correctly.

He nodded, smiling weakly, trying to believe her, she thought. "How did Damon convince you?" he asked in a voice that seemed devoid of any hidden undertones, which didn't make her any less caught off guard by the question.

For a moment she just looked at him, but then glanced around the forest in search of the sincerest answer. "He didn't," she said at last with a shrug. "I guess I just really wasn't ready to die," she said, trying to smile. The answer was true and she hoped it was simple enough, but Stefan looked at her as if she had just struck him. "I don't want to talk about that," she added, wishing to make up for what she realized was a very thoughtless explanation. "It's in the past. I… moved on. I'm a… I'm a vampire, there is no changing that now."

Stefan looked at her, wondering whether it was the right moment to tell her about Klaus' demands and the spell that Bonnie had found. But perhaps there would be a better time for that.

"Elena-"

"When we met... I thought it was fate," she continued suddenly in a determined voice, tucking her hair behind her ear, and Stefan gave her a faint, reassuring smile, relieved that she seemed to be breaking through listlessness and speaking to him. "But fate is not something we can see," she frowned, her eyes fixed on an invisible point in space. "We always only see a part of everything. We only see fragments that we try to put together and pretend that there's nothing else, nothing more because otherwise it would be impossible to believe in anything, it would be impossible... to live in such an incomplete world." She spoke clearly but hurriedly as if she was afraid that the words would escape her and she wouldn't be able to find them again. "But sometimes we find that other part we didn't see before, didn't understand, didn't believe in… and it changes everything."

"I know that." Stefan said clasping her hand in his and her eyes darted to him. "I know that, Elena. I couldn't be happier if you really felt that way."

Elena looked at him, and sighed dismally at his apparent misunderstanding of her words. She scolded herself inwardly for being so inarticulate. "Stefan..."

"I want you to believe that you can be happy as a vampire. If you feel like being a vampire... enhances who you are somehow it's more that I could ever hope for. I'd lie if I said I entirely understand it," he said with a small smile. "But I know it's possible and I do want you to find a way to be happy about it rather than miserable."

She smiled brokenly at the bits and pieces of truth in his words. But it wasn't what she meant. "Stefan-"

He cupped her face in his hands, and leaned toward her but then opened his eyes, glancing in confusion at her hand against his lips. Their eyes locked and a hundred words wouldn't amount to the effect achieved by her fingertips preventing him from kissing her. He felt like the ground started slipping from under his feet.

"Stefan-" Her voice came out as barely audible, and she wanted to start again in a firmer tone by he stopped her.

"Elena, I know what you went through," he said gently, lightly touching her cheek and stroking her hair. "I know how awful, confusing everything must seem to you now." She grimaced, blinking back the tears that gathered in her eyes. "I just want you to know... I love you," he half-smiled, half-grimaced, and she inhaled deeply, her mouth twitching. "You know… you know that even if-" he broke off and tried again, "even if... something happened, I'd let it go," he whispered in a voice that sounded tortured, but his eyes were bright with sincerity.

Elena smiled brokenly and nodded, but the tears that rolled down her cheeks made his heart clench, and he looked at her, waiting for her to say something that would take that cold feeling that came over him away.

"I know you would," she said at last, and for a second everything was back in order. He looked at her with love, with hope, almost smiling, almost crying with her. But then the same thing happened again. Before his lips touched hers she drew back, and whispered the words he couldn't understand. "But Damon wouldn't."

The name seemed out of place, and it sounded so strange, the way she had said it. He couldn't overcome the sense of confusion that made him unable to grasp the meaning of her words. She tilted her head to the side, her face contorted in pain, in… compassion. He froze, and just stared at her when she slowly removed his hand from her cheek.

She looked so infinitely sad, yet when her eyes flickered toward the direction of the house he realized she was going to walk away. That was the end of the conversation. That was the end.

"Elena," he caught her hand like he should've when she had sought him in Chicago, like when she had told him that Jeremy was in danger, like when she had said she wasn't going to complete the transition. "What happened?" he couldn't possibly imagine her answer to that. He instinctively searched for something to say, for the nearest memory. "Three days ago- Elena, just three days ago-"

"I thought you were all going to die," she cut in, having guessed the question. "I wanted us to have that final moment together because I believed it was what we should have after everything that had happened, after all those horrible months," her voice quivered and she grimaced through her tears. "I wanted to fix it, if only for that one minute. That was my choice, Stefan. I couldn't go to him, and come back to you, but… I wasn't making life choices then. I couldn't think about more than that one moment. And after everything that happened to us, happened with us, I just needed to say goodbye to you."

"Is this a goodbye too?" he asked in a voice she couldn't recognize. It was distant and cautious, but the pain in his eyes was conspicuous and she felt like she was twisting a dagger into his heart. Her throat was dry, and her entire body felt like it was being scratched by sharp grains of sand. She was on the verge of something she couldn't describe, couldn't understand, couldn't see. She didn't want to dwell on it, because she was afraid that if she did, she would topple over and into it.

"I don't know what this is, Stefan," she said tiredly. "All I know is that-" she didn't finish the sentence; she wasn't able to when he looked like her like that. "I never wanted to hurt you," she said with a grimace. "And the last thing I've ever wanted is to drive you and Damon apart." Stefan shuddered inwardly, almost telling her to stop saying the name. "And I feel like I'm doing this right now, and I'm so sorry," Elena trailed off, choking on her tears. She wanted to say so many things, but couldn't find the right words. At the same time she didn't want to say anything at all. "You saved me, in so many ways. Made me happy when I thought I'd never smile again, and I'll always remember that. But… " She wanted to say that what they had had was real, that she wasn't revoking that, or regretting that, even if he felt like she was. "I really thought I wanted to spend a lifetime with you-"

"You thought you wanted a lifetime with me," Stefan interrupted her in a hollow voice, and she stiffened, feeling like she was hurting him no matter how gently, how truthfully she tried to express her thoughts and feelings. "But you know that you want eternity with him," he said, realizing that the primary reason for saying it was to make her tell him that she couldn't think about eternity, that she had died three days ago and couldn't wrap her mind around such abstract concepts yet. But with a sinking heart he acknowledged that she just looked at him in silence, blinking back the tears.


Caroline was sitting in the kitchen, sipping on a blood bag, listening to Mrs. Flowers and watching Damon tidy up the living room. The sight of him picking up the rose petals was especially hilarious. She refused to believe Elena was buying it. Although she had always been ridiculously gullible when it came to him. Matt was right. She had lost it.

"I'll go pack our stuff," Damon muttered, heading out of the living room.

"What stuff?" Caroline exclaimed more to herself than to Mrs. Flowers who was sitting across from her. "They've been here for the total of two days, and they didn't have any luggage."

"Maybe they bought some souvenirs?" Mrs. Flowers said, feeling obligated to say something.

Caroline shifted her eyes to her.


When Elena reentered the house, it was already looking very orderly. Everything that had been scattered all over the living room was gone. The pillows sat straight on the couches and there was not a trace of rose petals on the floor.

"He went to pack your stuff," Caroline announced, looking at Elena expectantly, hoping that the sentence sounded sardonic enough, but Elena didn't seem inclined to answer, and Caroline wasn't sure from afar, but it looked like she had been crying.

When Elena disappeared into the bedroom, Caroline marched up to the window and looked outside, wrinkling her forehead at the sight of Stefan standing motionlessly near the forest line.


Walking into the bedroom, Elena immediately noticed the shopping bags neatly packed and waiting on the bed, ready to be taken away. The room looked pristine and bright in the sunlight flowing from the half-open window.

"So you either lash out or you tidy up," she said matter of factly, when Damon looked up at her. "Got it."

He wanted to retort but was struck by the traces of tears on her face, and fast-moved to her instead.

"What's happened?" he asked, looking at her searchingly, his eyes wandering anxiously all over her face. "Elena?"

He cupped her face in his hands and she closed her eyes, several tears escaping from under her eyelids when she smiled. "I like when you do that," she said quietly, covering his hands with hers.

"And I don't like when you're crying," he retorted grimly. "Why are you crying, Elena?" he muttered the question, and she opened her eyes, frowning at the expression on his face.

"Stop doubting me," she said through her teeth.

His mouth twitched. "I'm not-" he started, but she cut him off with a kiss, and he wrapped his arms around her, crashing her against him. "Elena," he whispered, drawing back, sliding his hands into her hair and looking at her as if she had just been miraculously rescued from the flood and fire combined.

She shook her head at him in mock-exasperation, and kissed him again.

"My, aren't you being subtle about it," Caroline's voice made them break the kiss and Elena looked at Caroline who was standing in the doorway with her arms crossed over her chest, striving to look judgmental, even if the predominant emotion in her eyes was worry.

Damon looked in the other direction, and brushing a kiss across Elena's cheek turned toward the bed.

"I'll put these into the trunk," he said with a smile, grabbing their bags and heading for the door.

Caroline glared at him meaningfully before letting him pass through the door.

"Thank you," he said in a joyful voice.

"Mood swings much?" Caroline said unsmilingly, slamming the door shut behind him, and turning to Elena. "What the hell are you doing?" she asked in a high-pitched tone, snorting disbelievingly under her breath.

"You don't need to be so mean to him all the time, Caroline," Elena said, taking off the jacket and going to the bathroom.

"What?" Caroline followed her, almost tripping over her own feet. "Tell me I'm hearing things, and you didn't actually tell me to be nice to him."

Elena turned on the water, gathered some of it into her open palms, and leaning down, splashed it over her eyes.

"I know you're worried, but you shouldn't be. I'm OK." Elena grabbed a towel and pressed it to her face.

"How are you OK, Elena?" Caroline threw he hands in the air. "You're a vampire. And, by the way, that's what we should be talking about right now, not Damon. Your emotions are heightened. Everything is heightened. I understand that you might want to bone him, but stop behaving like you were freaking in love with him."

Elena put the towel away, and shook her head with a sigh. "I am in love with him," she said quietly, looking straight at Caroline, and then walking past her and out of the bathroom.

Caroline swirled around. "Are you out of your mind?" she asked, genuinely dismayed. "Don't you see what's going on here? Don't you think it's a strange coincidence that you made that great discovery only after you died?"

"It's not like that, Caroline," Elena said defiantly, brushing her hair in front of a small vanity mirror. "It's not emotions that are heightened. It's your awareness of them that is," she said, glancing at Caroline over her shoulder.

Caroline blinked. "How did he brainwash you so thoroughly in just two days?"

Elena put the brush away and slowly turned around. "I love him," she said in a firm voice. "You won't talk me out of this," she added with a faint smile.

Caroline stared at her in silence, and Elena almost thought she understood, but then she asked with a hint of chilling incredulity in her voice. "Do you actually think he loves you?" Elena looked at her as if she had just put to doubt grass being green. Caroline snorted. "He isn't capable of love! And even if he was... Do you really think it's about you, Elena? He just wants somebody to love him. Anyone! You're just clearly the only person that he managed to manipulate into it."

"You can't manipulate someone into falling in love with you," Elena said, beginning to feel annoyed by the conversation.

"Of course you can," Caroline reiterated, undeterred. "Unless you're talking about One True Love that conquers all and never ends," she said sardonically.

Elena seemed rather stunned by the tone of her voice, and Caroline widened her eyes at her. "You are."

"Isn't it always like that?" Elena asked tentatively, "I mean, doesn't everyone believe it is like that?" She hesitated. "Don't you love Tyler like that?"

"Like what?" Caroline wrinkled her forehead in confusion. "He's my boyfriend, Elena. Not a Prince Charming or a Romeo. He's not required to worship the ground I walk on or die for me."

Elena averted her eyes from her, adjusted the ring on her finger, and pushed her hair behind her ears. "I think we should go," she said, grabbing her jacket.

"Elena," Caroline said in a softer voice, looking at her with a conciliatory grimace. Elena stopped in her tracks with a sigh and looked at her. "I just don't want you to get hurt," she said quietly, slightly pursing her lips.

Elena tilted her head to the side. "I'm dead, Caroline. How much more hurt I can get?" she said with a small smile.

"Oh, you know what I mean," Caroline said, shaking her head with a grimace. "Can you really imagine a life, well," she rolled her eyes, "living with him?"

"No," Elena said, and then smiled so radiantly Caroline blinked. "I can't imagine that at all. Let's go," she added with a sigh, and Caroline threw her hands in the air in resignation.

"Elena!" she stopped her, suddenly remembering. "What about the ring from Bonnie?" she asked, handing Elena a small, handmade box. "I'm sure she'd feel better if you were wearing this one instead," she drew a breath, "in addition to..." she corrected, waving her hand, and glancing at Elena's ring.

Elena smiled. "I guess I can be wearing two for the time being," she said, slipping the ring from Bonnie onto her other hand, and putting the box away.

Caroline smiled. "Maybe it will protect you," she said with a hint of grim amusement in her voice.

"Yes, two daylight rings must provide a lot of protection," Elena said with a smile.

"No, I mean that the ring from Bonnie will protect you from that other ring. Who knows what kind of weird things it can make you do," she added, glancing meaningfully around the bedroom before heading for the door.

Elena laughed under her breath, and followed her out of the room.

When the door closed behind them, the ring box left on the shelf darkened, and melted into a bloody puddle that burst into a single flame and then disappeared with a hiss.