House of Memories

Four years ago

The late afternoon sky was pleasant as the sun's rays were mercifully not harsh. Cool breeze blew through the rooftop that created a peaceful atmosphere for the lone girl behind the wall barriers.

Rin quietly watched the activity below the building. Her few schoolmates crossed the main gate and began their way home. Local vendors took advantage of the busy foot traffic within the local area to sell street food and other commodities for students. Vehicles ran on the main roads a few corners from the school.

Her group stayed back at school to finish a huge group project due next week. They finally completed it and prepared it for submission. So today was a success, and allowed them to breathe in relief.

Rin made up an excuse to do a quick errand before she had to go home. And so her group mates all made their way to the gate and understood her wish to be left alone. She willingly stayed behind for this one chance.

Rin heaved a heavy sigh, a huge burden slowly about to slide off her shoulders. Her arms rested on top of the wall barriers. The wind once again blew towards her; short blonde locks gently swayed together with the white ribbon in her head. In her right hand was a paper plane.

The paper was a note written by herself, addressed to someone who would never read it.

That was the intention. Len did not need to read it.

She did this for herself, after all.

It had been nine months since Len broke up with her and threw away the two year relationship they—

No, she had protected, gave all she had to that forsaken relationship.

When Len left her, he took everything she gave. Now Rin had nothing for herself.

I was a fool. Rin frowned and gazed before the scenery of an ever-continuous life that she needed to catch up.

Everything she needed to tell him was written in that one letter. All her grievances, her fury, the hurt he gave her, the endless tears that accompanied her broken sobs. Regrets and insecurities that she never had the courage to mention during and after the relationship. All the questions that lingered in her head with no chances to be answered.

Because Len was the only one who could answer all of it. But he would never say it, especially when he never talked to her ever since.

Will you remember me the same way as I remember you?

She currently focused on forgiveness. It was a work in progress, Rin told herself. What mattered now was the need to let go.

Rin removed her arms from the top of the wall barrier. She made her way to the other side of the rooftop. She turned her head upwards to the clear blue skies. A wave of comfort spread through the young girl. It warmed her body despite the chilly weather on top of her thin-fabric school uniform.

With another sigh, Rin lowered her head. She raised the hand that held the paper plane in its position, and she ran.

The past nine months flashed before her eyes with every step she took. Her legs slightly shook and her nerves threatened to let her body collapse. But she pushed it all away as the momentum gathered. She ran with every desperation from her heart.

One final step before she hit the barrier, Rin stretched her arm beyond the wall barrier and let go of the paper plane.

As if the forces of nature granted her a sentimental moment, the breeze blew in the same direction she let go of the plane.

Rin stood; arms lowered from the barrier and weakened after the weight finally left. Her eyes followed the little paper plane that slowly diminished as it travelled far beyond. Eventually it was a small dot, and Rin knew it was about to go to a place she would never know.

Just as how she would never know when she could move on.

"I need to let you go…" Rin whispered to herself, and stared ahead at the afternoon sky. Only she knew what happened today. This was for herself.

The faint gradient of orange and red hues signalled the start of sunset. If she were to disappear and never to be seen again, this was how she wanted Len to see her.

Take my picture now, shake it 'til you shake it.

She was aware she might never heal completely, today or soon. Rin had to trust the uncertainty that lingered on the distant future. She had to make a way to let go if she wanted to start healing herself. Not by her friends, not by her family. Most certainly not by Len. But only herself.

Rin sighed at the acceptance of the circumstances she was in. She had to get the closure by herself. No one else, nothing else.

The only one who could help her was herself.

It was high time for Rin to go down and head home. After she took her school bag, she closed the door to the rooftop and climbed down the stairs to the ground floor. When she crossed through the gates, Rin went forward.

Towards a future outside of her house of memories.

I Don't Love You

Four years ago

The only source of light in the pitch black room was the luminescence from the screen in front of Len. Fast phased motion graphics were displayed as he aggressively pressed every button on his controller to get the upper hand on the battle against the boss character.

He did everything he could. He dodged from potential damage and defended himself. He strategised his attacks carefully, covered his bases, and even watched gameplays on how the stage was cleared. But with a few hits from the boss, his character died. The half of the journey must be played again before he could repeat the stage.

"Fuck!" Len put down the controller in anger. He grabbed handfuls of his hair and laid down in bed with a tired and frustrated groan.

Nothing went well for him today.

He let the audio from the speakers play the background music of the game's lobby. His mind was already numb for how much he had to listen to the same music again. It was a bitter reminder he lost for the fifth time.

Len searched for something with his other hand, constantly patted the surface of his bed for it. He eventually found his phone. Yet after he unlocked it, he remembered why he distracted himself from it in the first place.

[CHAT SCENE] Kaito (sender) and Len (receiver)

Kaito Fuuga

Kaito: Len, you need to get your fucking shit together and LISTEN. Rin's a mess, and you did this. What's stopping you to just tell her why you broke up with her? If you can't tell her, then tell me. I'll pass it on. You don't need to say it in front of her if you don't want to

Kaito: But for the love of god, you need to say it Len. I'm tired of trying to understand you when you don't even make the effort to be understood. I can't help you if you can't help yourself.

Len: I'm trying, okay! It's not that easy. Especially if all eyes are on you and ready to talk shit about you at every minute

Len: Rin isn't the only one who's hurting here.

Kaito: Seriously? You really have the nerve to say that when you're just keeping to yourself while Rin is inconsolable since the start of the year. It's been nine months!

Kaito: You're fucking selfish, Len. I'm sick of you treating Rin like she's disposable. I don't know what to say to you these days.

Len: Then don't talk to me. Simple.

Len: I don't even care about your opinion. You're just like everyone else. Shame.

Len clenched his fist when he revisited the tenacious conversation with who was supposedly his best friend.

He was always the perpetrator, enemy number one, the asshole in the narrative after he broke up with Rin. They never attempted to ask him 'why?' right before they spread the rumours and antagonised him at school.

Rin was overbearing, too much for him. She was hurtful despite being aware about his already fragile emotions and sensitive approach to things.

Don't ever think I'll make you try to stay.

It was a fact that being with Rin only harmed him. If the relentless rumours that compared him to her in every single aspect were any less of evidence. So he had to end things early, for his sake.

I'll be off to find another way.

Now no one listened to him and Len did not know what to do with all this resentment pent up inside him.

In the eyes of the people, Rin was the victim who should be sympathised. To them, Len was the world's number one asshole who hurted her, and 'deserved what he was getting'. He was so sick of having friends, only for them all to leave and join the mob against him.

Len was already ready to admit his regret on what he had done to Rin. But he took back his intentions when he saw how people at their class treated him as the lowest scum on the planet, despite not being aware of the full story. He did not know what to do when every person at school had their eyes on him. When people talked shit about him, no one did anything. Not even Rin.

Len laid down with his back against his bed. His arm on top of his eyes and let the darkness engulf him.

There was no denying he made mistakes that led to this situation. But the stacks were against him. Things were unfair against Len, and it left a bitter feeling that made him upset.

He wanted to be sure of himself for just one time. For once, he knew it was all over. He simply could not fix it no matter how long he stayed. Rin was not the one for him. She and him were not meant to last long. With all his leftover conviction, Len swore to himself of one truth.

I don't love Rin anymore.

In his mind was only one thought.

I don't love you anymore, like I loved you yesterday.

Yet there was a small, lingering doubt Len desperately pushed aside for his own sanity.

Right?