The Ties That Bind

Standard Disclaimers Apply

Interlude: Ichigo's Reason

The war with Aizen had ended.

Soul Society and Karakura Town had been defended from the devastating hoards of hollows and Arrancar from Hueco Mundo.

This was supposed to be a victory for the many Shinigami that had fought courageously to save both worlds, despite loosing some of their own.

For Ichigo Kurosaki, victory meant nothing. Not when the girl in his arms had ceased breathing.

It was her sacrifice that gave them victory. A sweet, innocent girl, who had never born to fight, died to stop the war that had already consumed so many lives.

Ichigo Kurosaki had promised to her that he would protect her without fail.

"Ichigo?"

He didn't turn around to acknowledge Rukia, who stood behind him, her Shinigami uniform in tatters and bruises on her face.

"Leave."

His voice was cold and distant, and he paid no attention to the crowd that gathered behind him. Not Rukia, not Renji, not Shinji. Not even his own father. No one matter to him right now except for the pale, cold, young woman in his arms.

To call her merely "beautiful" would have been a grave insult to her. There were no words that could describe her with deserved justice. He continued to look at her face, desperately willing her to wake up. To open her beautiful eyes to look at him. To speak to him again with her soft, melodious voice.

The Shun Shun Rikka floated near their princess, all at a loss for words. They were there, but they won't be for long. They were slowly disappearing, their bodies becoming transparent, fading away into oblivion.

"Heal her," he demanded quietly.

Ayame and Shun'ō looked at each other sadly. Baigon, Lily, Hinagiku, and Tsubaki were silent, and none of them could meet Ichigo's desperate eyes.

"Heal her," he repeated, his voice harsh as he looked at Ayame and Shun'ō.

"We can't," said Ayame her voice filled with regret. "I'm sorry, Kurosaki-kun."

"Our powers died the moment she…" Shun'ō couldn't finish her sentence. "Soon, we will fade away with her."

"Don't blame yourself, baka!" Tsubaki yelled. "It was her decision to make, and this is the path she chose!"

Ichigo tightened his hold on the woman in his arms. For the first time since he'd picked up her serene, lifeless form, he looked away and turned his attention to Tsubaki.

The little fairy-like creature closed his eyes and said calmly, "She wouldn't want to see you like this. Don't throw her sacrifice away..."

---

Ichigo's eyes opened, his heart beating a thousand miles a minute. Beads of sweat rolled off his forehead, and he quickly wiped them away with the back of his hand. He could hear the faint thump of the music further down the road from Orihime's apartment. A young woman lay beside him, and he traced his hands lightly over the soft skin of her back. He closed his eyes and wrapped his arms around her, spooning their naked bodies closer together. He was unwilling to leave her side, especially after experiencing such a horrible dream.

The nightmares had started around a month ago. Over and over, he saw Orihime die before him, and each time he was never able to protect her. She was always, always in danger because of him. Aizen would never have come after her if it hadn't been for him.

If it hadn't been for him…

He took a deep breath and assured himself that he was making the right decision. It was the only way to protect her, and the only way he could learn more about the hollow inside of himself, along with the emerging powers within him that not even Yamamoto could, or would, if that were the case, explain. Shinji had made a deal with him. Join the Vizards, and they would help him further understand and control his hollow. But to do all that, he had to leave her. He had to leave Orihime. He hated himself for it, but it was the only way to keep her safe.

"Ichigo-kun?"

He opened his eyes and watched Orihime rub her eyes sleepily. He kissed the back of her neck and felt his heart beat faster when she turned around slightly to smile at him.

"I feel like having red bean jelly and chili beans," she said and yawned.

Ichigo blinked, unsure of what he heard.

Orihime wrapped her arms tightly around him, snuggling as close as she could, and Ichigo could swear his heart was beating so loudly that Orihime would be able to hear it.

"Ne, Ichigo-kun…are you okay?"

Ichigo looked down and met Orihime's concerned eyes. He had to tell her good-bye, such simple words they were, but he couldn't find it in himself to do it. And he hated himself all the more for it.

Shaking his head, he let his thoughts be consumed with Orihime. Her laugh, her smile, her eyes, how she felt against him, and how his name sounded from her lips. This would be the last night for a long time to come that he'd have the pleasure of indulging in such wonderful gifts.

"I'm fine," he whispered.

He could tell she didn't believe him, her eyes always did betray her emotions after all, but Orihime simply gave him a nod of understanding and then a soft kiss on the lips.

She yawned again, and Ichigo watched her until she fell asleep. He memorized every line of her face, the way her hair fell over her shoulders, the curve of her neck, the way she inhaled deeply in her slumber, the lush plumpness of her beautiful lips, her dark lashes. He would never get enough of her rare, exquisite beauty, but this last memory was all he would have of her in the months, and possibly years, to come.

He had some doubts and wondered if his plan to join the Vizards would solve all his problems, but at the moment, there was no other option he could think of. His training had remained the same, he could feel no progress being made, and his hollow was growing stronger every day. Deep inside him, the hollow's voice was constantly growing louder, echoing through his thoughts and making him do things unconsciously.

It would be so much easier if you just give up, King, it sneered with dark humor.

Ichigo gritted his teeth and ignored his hollow. He gazed at Orihime lovingly when he suddenly felt a strange reiatsu. He untangled himself from Orihime and sat up carefully, doing his best not to wake her up. He looked around, his eyebrows knit together in concentration. There was no one around her apartment but the two of them, he was sure of it. The reiatsu was faint, but he could feel no threat from it. In fact, it was almost calming, and Ichigo felt something twinge in his heart when he tried to reach out for it but failed.

"Stupid hollow," Ichigo muttered, ignoring the reiatsu and blamed his hollow for the strange feeling.

"Love you, Ichigo-kun."

Ichigo's eyes snapped down to Orihime.

She'd spoken so quietly he'd almost missed it, and her eyes were still closed. It was clear she was still sleeping.

Immense guilt bubbled to the surface again and threatened to consume him. This time, it was harder to push the feeling down, especially after what they'd done this night.

"I'm doing the right thing."

His voice was firm, but even his hollow was laughing at the lie he's just uttered.

You damn fool, it said in disgust. You really believe this will solve all your problems?

An image of Orihime's bloody, lifeless body flashed before his eyes and Ichigo flinched.

Yes, he was definitely doing the right thing.

Swallowing, he looked at her again, and tried to commit this Orihime to his memory, this young woman that was a live and well, and not the pale, dead woman of his dreams.

He closed his eyes and kissed her softly on the lips.

"I'll come back, Orihime. I promise."

He carefully eased himself out of her bed and covered her with their blanket. He dressed quietly and quickly, never taking his eyes off of her until he turned and padded silently toward her window. His hands gripped the windowsill harder than necessary. He looked back one last time, and as much as he wanted to return to Orihime, to hold her tightly and bury his face in her hair, he knew it was going to be better this way.

With a deep breath, he jumped out of the window and ran as fast as he could, far away from Karakura Town and Orihime. The whole time his heart and mind screamed one thing, and one thing alone.

"I love you, Orihime."

--

ED, have I ever told you how much I owe you:)